Mommy said he was an idiot. Daddy told me not to tell her but Mommy says I should.”
“PJ.” John closed his eyes. “Do you ever shut up?”
“No. Mommy says I’m at a curious stage.”
John cleaned his contacts and shook his head.
Wearing just his boxers, he stood at the bathroom sink, a miniature inquisitor in dinosaur pajamas sitting on the closed toilet beside him.
“What’re you doing? What are those? Do they hurt?”
“They’re contacts lenses. They help me see and no, they don’t hurt. Why don’t you go eat breakfast? Livvy said she would make you
waffles.”
The child shook his head and bounced on the throne. “I like it in here. Do you like waffles? I like Mommy’s waffles. Daddy makes ones out of the freezer but they’re okay. Why do you have hair on your chest?”
“Because that’s what happens when boys grow up.”
“My daddy has more than you.”
“Your daddy is Italian. If I give you a dollar will you go watch TV?”
“Tyler is watching
Sesame Street.
I don’t want to. It’s for babies.”
Resigned, John lathered his face and tried to tune the noise out. Compared to this, his sister had Inez Kelley
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been easy. All you had to do with Gina was give her a book and she wouldn’t speak for hours. PJ
prattled on, his mouth moving a mile a minute.
The last questions yanked John’s attention.
“Is Livvy my aunt Livvy? Are you and Livvy married?”
The razor stopped. “No, PJ, we’re not
married.”
“Then how come you have the same bed?”
The blade nearly slit his throat as he whipped his head to stare at the Junior Morality Policeman.
Gina definitely had her hands full with this one.
Feigning casualness, John rinsed the razor. “Well, you and Tyler were in my guest bed and there was nowhere else for Livvy to sleep. And my bed is big enough for two grownups.”
“You need to buy her a nightgown. She sleeps naked.”
Brain screeching to a halt, John blinked. He remembered Livvy crawling into bed wearing his tee shirt. She went to sleep wearing it. She didn’t take it off until… The door had been half open when he awoke rather than the inch wide gap he’d left it at. A burning grin crossed his cheeks and John squatted down in front of the nosy child. “PJ, did you get out of bed last night?”
“I had to pee and couldn’t find the bathroom.”
Head hanging to hide his smile, John chuckled.
“Know where it is now?” The boy nodded and 264
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John ruffled his hair. “Good, and don’t tell Livvy you saw her naked. Girls get upset about stuff like that.”
“Okay.” The machine-gun speech fired up as he followed his uncle into the bedroom. John made a note to lock the door that night. Maybe he could pick up one of those baby monitor things.
Anything to put a bit of privacy between the boys and his bedroom.
“Murphy! Christina’s on the phone.”
John pulled the polo over his head and strode down the hall in his boxers. PJ trailed him like a shadow but deserted when Livvy slid a stack of waffles on the table. She handed John the phone and pulled butter and syrup from the fridge.
“Hey, Christina.”
“Morning. How’s your mood, John?’
His chin lifted and his muscles stiffened. “I have a feeling it’s going to get worse. What’s up?”
Livvy paused and looked at him over the
refrigerator door. “What’s wrong?” she mouthed and he shook his head.
“My daughter’s a fan, you know that. She
loves all the books you sign for her, loves showing off to her friends. She went internet searching and turned up something. Windago Haven,” Christina said. “Heard of it?”
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“Yeah, it’s a message board or some shit.
Readers started it up a couple months ago. I checked it out a few times. It looked harmless enough. Why?”
“They have a new fanfic forum. As of last night, there are forty-eight stories about Jondi and Thorn you didn’t write, everything from more jewel quests to a frankly disgusting sexual escapade between Thorn and Andros.”
“Fuck!” John ground out. PJ’s eyes went wide and John muttered the word again in his head. He scowled while pointing at the little boy. “Do
not
repeat that, PJ!”
“Who?” Christine asked.
“I’m babysitting my nephews.”
Livvy sent him a puzzled look but never
paused while cutting up Tyler’s waffles.
John pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can you email me the details, links and stuff? I want that shit taken down.”
“Hitting Send now.”
“Thanks, Christina, I appreciate it. Tell Becky I’ll send her an iTunes card as a thank you, too.”
Christina laughed. “You do that and she’ll be trolling the web for fanfic instead of doing her homework. Good luck, John.”
“I don’t need luck. I’ve got a killer attorney.”
John stabbed the disconnect button and hit speed dial four.
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“Something wrong?” Livvy whispered.
“Yeah.” John lowered his voice so the kids wouldn’t hear. “A bunch of little dickheads are making up their own stories using my monsters and putting them on the internet. Not happening.
There’s a copyright in the books for a goddamned reason. Those are my monsters. I write what they do, no one else.”
The receptionist put him straight through to Gina’s law partner, Carla Lenowski, a piranha in contractual law. After accepting her good wishes for Gina, he outlined what happened and she promised to get to work on it right away. Livvy stroked his lower back and he leaned into her touch. It was just one small example of why he loved her. She understood him.
“Shut ’em down, Carla. I don’t care what it takes. Nobody uses my monsters but me. No one.”
Sure that his jaw was swollen three inches out from his face, John checked the rearview mirror.
It didn’t look any different, but the numbing in full swing made his tongue feel thick. Livvy had pulled a rabbit out of her hat to get him into her dentist on such short notice, so he shouldn’t complain, but damn. What wasn’t numb felt like it had been brushed with barbed wire. Add that to the dentist’s lecture on grinding his teeth, and his mood was far from pleasant.
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His key turned the ignition and his pocket rang out. Pete’s displayed number made his heart thud.
“What’s up, Pete? How is she?”
The shuddering breath on the other end of the line chilled his bones. Pete “Chief” Salvatori was one of the steadiest men he knew. He could handle any piece of big equipment ever invented as easily as pushing a baby carriage and never wake the baby. Pete had asked him for permission to take Gina out before approaching her. John was glad when Gina fell in love with the big Italian.
He treated her like a queen, openly said she was his life, doted on her and his children. To hear him fighting tears filled John with icy terror.
“Pete?”
“She’s asleep. The surgery’s over.” Taking long breaks between sentences, he was obviously struggling to speak. “The—lump was deeper than they thought. They had to take more—tissue. We won’t know for a while, maybe a couple weeks.”
“But she’s okay now?”
“She had a reaction to the anesthesia. John, she quit breathing twice. So she’s in ICU for the night so they can observe her, make sure everything’s okay.”
John dropped his head back on the seat and gritted his numb jaw. Blood filled his mouth as he bit his cheek without knowing. “But she
did
wake up? She’s going to be all right?”
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“Yeah. But she’s hurting. They upped her meds some, but are trying to balance…” Pete sniffed. “I can’t lose her, John. I can’t.”
“That makes two of us, man.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, John echoed Pete in taking several calming breaths.
“I’ll call you later, when she’s more awake.
How are the kids?”
“Fine. Livvy took a day off to help out. Don’t worry about them, you just take care of Gina.”
The cell snapped closed with a loud pop and John sat, blood chugging in his veins like molasses. Two days ago, life was fine and now everything was skittering toward hell in a handbasket and he was being swept helplessly along with it. Two days ago, Gina was healthy, Livvy and he were living some pretend fantasy, and he could keep his monsters under control.
Now, Gina might have breast cancer, Livvy was begging to be loved and his monsters were in someone else’s hands. What the hell was he supposed to do?
He never wanted to love Livvy. From the start, he’d told her he didn’t want forever. Trouble was, now he did and it sucked because he couldn’t have it. He couldn’t do that to her, not to his angel.
Damn, it hurt though. He smacked his head back against the seat.
Damned if I do and damned if I
don’t.
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A familiar monster growled in his mind and recognizable demons hissed in his ear, but from somewhere in his gut rose a gospel voice uttering simple words filled with quiet power.
Expect a miracle. Pick a side and be done with
it.
Calm swept through him. He knew what he
had to do. One hand ran through his hair and John deliberately took deep breaths, giving himself time to change his mind. He never did anything half-assed. If he was picking sides, he was going all the way. He didn’t change his mind. Nodding with conviction, he thrust the truck into drive.
I’d like to peel the hide right off his delectable ass.
“Livvy, where’s Uncle John? He’s been gone a jillion hours! He promised to bring back ice cream.”
He promised a lot of things.
“Maybe we’ll make cookies later. I’ll even let you cream the butter if you’re good. Now go back and watch TV while I finish the dishes.”
Avoid and distract.
PJ grumped back into the living room and
Livvy squeezed the sponge in a death grip. How easily those old habits crept back in. How many times had her mother decided on impromptu trips to the park to avoid the twins asking when Daddy 270
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was coming home? Something under her ribs ached with a hollow thump.
I’m staring out a kitchen window, with kids
under my feet, and wondering where in the hell
my man is. I’ve lived this. I will not live this again.
Livvy rinsed the sink and gritted her teeth.
John hadn’t asked her to do any laundry or straighten up but they needed to be done. It had felt good at first, all homey and sweet, until the clock started to mock her. She was here, cleaning and cooking, taking care of his nephews and he was…where?
He worked from home, damn it. Her dentist was near retirement age and closed at noon Mondays. She’d caved at one and called John’s cell but it went straight to voicemail. He hadn’t returned her texts either. Pete said he’d talked to him earlier but there was no answer now. John loved Gina too much to ignore a call today of all days. Resentful thoughts darted through her mind.
Unless he was too busy to answer the phone.
Livvy worked all day. He was free to do whatever with whomever and she’d never know if he…
In a burst of vehemence, she snapped the
dishtowel off the rack and dried her hands. She was not her mother and there was no way in hell she could stomach this. At least she could walk away and not starve. She was better than her mother, better prepared, better informed. She Inez Kelley
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didn’t need John Murphy to take care of her. She could take care of herself just fine.
Yesterday, seeing that slut all over John had sent hot streaks of jealousy through her but she’d never, not for one minute, considered that he’d responded to the skank. His mouth had been too tight and his eyes too pinched. Even if she hadn’t read his body language, she’d come to trust him.
But where was he now?
PJ pulled back the curtain, his little lip tucked under his crooked teeth, watching the driveway.
Her brothers used to do the same thing. Once or twice they’d worried that their father had been in an accident but her mother had assured them he was fine. He always was. He’d come home freshly showered and happy. Until one day, he didn’t and had never come home again.
“PJ, don’t sit in the window, okay? Why don’t you go outside and play?”
“Uncle John said we could play kickball when he came back.”
Her father had always came home in a good mood. He’d spend the rest of the night
roughhousing with the boys, reading to or playing tea party with Andrea, helping Livvy with her math homework. Those years had been full of confusion for her. She’d wanted to hate him, to be angry that he put her mother through so much, but she loved her daddy and he loved her. She’d had 272
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trouble reconciling that her father had a lover on the side. Did John?
How could a woman love a man who cheated?
How could a woman stop loving a man who
cheated?
“Come on, PJ. Let’s do some of your
homework so you don’t get behind, okay?”
“I don’t want to. I want Uncle John to come home.”
John’s truck pulled in the drive and Livvy blew out a calming breath. Tyler jumped from the floor and ran to the window, cheering that he’d arrived.
Livvy wasn’t so thrilled.
She faced the window as the deck door creaked and the boys went running as if it were the second coming of Christ. She heard them pepper him with questions, heard his laughing reply and her temperature rose. PJ proudly carted two half-gallon containers of ice cream past her and shoved them into the freezer. So John had remembered the ice cream but couldn’t be bothered to call?
Nice.
She held her irritation until he crossed to the bar. His smile jacked her anger even higher.
“Hey,” he said.
Suddenly, it was too much. She needed to
leave. Her bare feet slapped the floor stalking by him. She grabbed her oversized bag and jammed her feet into her shoes.
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“Supper’s in the oven. Your laundry’s caught up, the bedding’s changed and your agent called.