Sweet Christmas Kisses (138 page)

David leaned against the door frame facing his sister, his arms crossed. “I could.”

“And Carla? I guess we just assume she wants out?”

“She has her shop. Plus Carla doesn’t really need to be in Serendipity. She could do her business anywhere,” David insisted. “Most of her big paying clients order on
line
, not on the Serendipity town square.”

“Carla loves it here,” I said softly.

“Of course she does.” Lillian agreed.

David stepped back to the center of the room. “What about you, Francie? You own a two acre lot, same size as the rest of us, in your corner of the property. Yet you’ve lived away from here ’til—a few months ago. I don’t see a house going up on that lot. What are your plans? Staying to help with Christmas, or ditching the small town life again, once Mom is okay to be on her own?”

“I am completely fine to be on my own,” Lillian huffed.

“And then there’s Jim.”

I wasn’t even sure who said it, because I was watching Jim walk into the room. He must have come in through the back door and through the kitchen. His face was flushed and his green eyes flashed.

“Yeah, don’t forget
old Jim
. What the
hell
kind of a fight is this to have in front of company?”

“She’s not company.” David took a step back. “This is Melissa, for God’s sake. We’ve all been friends since elementary school. We have no secrets from her.”

Jim reached his hand down and Matthew, tears streaming down his face, put his little hand into it. They walked together toward the kitchen, then Jim swung Matthew into his arms, and spoke over his shoulder to the rest of us.

“Matthew is our company, and he doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of a bunch of grown-ups who can’t mind their manners.” He turned toward me. “Mel, I’m getting his jacket and taking him outside to say goodbye to Daisy. You want to meet us out there?”

I’m pretty sure I nodded yes.

Nobody said anything. The only sound in the house was Jim’s boot treads across the vinyl kitchen floor and the back door closing softly.

Everyone in the living room looked at each other silently. I picked up Matthew’s blanket from the child-size rocking chair he occupied to watch TV, and let myself out the front door. I gulped cool fresh air and calmed my nerves, then followed the sound of happy barking.

Jim and Matthew stood hand-in-hand watching Daisy retrieve a stick Jim had thrown. Matthew was smiling now. I crouched down in front of him.

“Hi, Sweetie. You okay?”

He nodded. “Yes. They were mad.”

“Not mad, pardner. Just real tired, I think.” Jim looked into the distance, not noticing us or Daisy who was ready to chase the stick again.

“Are you tired, Mr. Jim?”

He smiled down at the child. “Maybe a little. Christmas is coming though. There’s lots to do. People need their trees.” He looked at me and I saw for the first time the dark circles under his eyes. “It’s what we do here. You know?”

I nodded, wiping a hot tear from the corner of my eye.

“Yes, I know. Your dad loved it, and didn’t mind the work. You’re all just trying to carry on the tradition.”

Looks like it’s quite a struggle.

“I don’t have a dad,” Matthew announced.

“I don’t have one either, but I used to. He was a real nice man, Matthew. You would have liked him, and he would have loved having you around. He would love how you help Miss Lillian, and play with Daisy.”

“Sometimes I can give Daisy a treat, if Miss Lillian says so.”

“Yep. That’s special stuff, Matthew. People who take good care of animals, and nature—those are special people. I always trust people like that the most.”

“People who take care of children, and talk nicely to them, are pretty special too,” I added, laying a hand on Jim’s sleeve.

“Yeah, well.” He looked down at my hand. “Anyway…I have lots of work to do. Looks like I’m not getting any help from David tonight.”

“I’m so sorry about that.”

Jim shrugged. “Not to worry. By tomorrow his mood will have blown over. David comes home all tied up in knots. Usually overnight they straighten out and he’s back to his usual self—almost bearable. I’ll find some really fun projects for him tomorrow, I assure you. He likely doesn’t realize how good the farm is for him, emotionally and physically. I don’t mind telling you that, because there’s no way anybody would believe it came out of my mouth.”

Daisy wagged her tail and barked at Matthew, and he sped off with her to chase back and forth and throw the stick as far as his little arm could manage. It made me laugh to see how much fun he was having.

“This farm is a wonderful place. I’m grateful Matthew is able to spend some time here. I have such terrific memories from when I visited here as a kid.”

“And older than a kid too, as I recall.”

“Yes, well. A lot of that time you barely tolerated me.” Would it be possible to keep things light with Jim, not dredge up the ugly part of our past?

“Not true. But as you grew up, I found you much easier to tolerate. Having you and Alice for friends was some pretty good thinking on the parts of my sisters.”

“Then why did you give us such a hard time?”

“Because I liked you. Both you and Alice. But mainly you, Mel.” He touched a finger to the little cleft in my chin, then slid his fingers through some of the hair that had come out of my headband. “I had an awful time trying to forget you after you left.”

“I would have said you’d forgotten me
before
I left.” And whose fault was it that he was trying to forget me at all? I was the innocent victim here.

He winced. “No. No. In fact I sure didn’t. I said I tried.”

“You managed to push the memory to the side then, when you married Diana.”

He stiffened and dropped the lock of hair and slid his hands into his jacket pockets.

“I’d rather never hear that name again.”

“That’s funny. I feel the same way.” I wanted to scream it at him. I’d wanted to scream at him for years about what he’d done, and there’d never been an opportunity. Now wasn’t the time either—with my innocent son playing a few yards away, and the Standish family in the house.

He looked past me, a nerve twitching in his jaw.

“Mel, you have no idea what she did to me.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m certain you deserved it to some extent. I’ll leave it at that.” If Diana treated him the way he had treated me, then I could almost applaud her efforts.

“Why did you leave the way you did?”

“My heart was broken, my self-esteem had gone from bad to non-existent, and the guy who dealt the final blow was the brother of my best friends. I couldn’t stay in Serendipity and run into you every time I saw Francie or Carla. Or just run into you, because it’s a small town and that’s what happens.” I shuddered, suddenly chilled. “We all went off to college. I just chose never to come back. Simple enough.” Leaving and making my own life somewhere had helped me heal—or I thought it had, until seeing Jim again.

“I’m amazed you stayed friends with Francie and Carla and Alice, if you hated Serendipity that much.”

“I never hated Serendipity. It was boring to us when we were teenagers, but now I’m sure we all see the positives of small-town living. We were lucky to grow up here, weren’t we?”

He nodded, not sure where I was going with this. Maybe not wanting to know, which made me want to lay it out for him.

“My family was so messed up. I can say that now, but at the time I wouldn’t have wanted to admit it. I don’t think anyone used the term ‘dysfunctional’ back then, but we were it. My brothers were much older, and idolized by Mom and Dad because they’d been these big sports heroes. Then I came along, the only girl, the only one in the family who loved books and learning. My parents fought each other my whole life, it seemed, and I was put in the middle of it. When they weren’t fighting each other, my mother would start in on me. I was plain looking…no boy would ever love me…I’d never get married or have children.”

Jim frowned and made a groaning sound. I was glad it bothered him to hear this.

I took a deep breath and looked over at the Standish home. “All I wanted at the time was to feel loved. Your family did that for me. Your mom and dad never minded when I’d come to spend the night, the weekend, or whatever. I was never made to feel as if I was in the way or a bother.”

I shifted my gaze back to Jim. “Why my parents have stayed married I don’t know. To this day, they still bicker constantly. I seldom take Matthew to visit, and to be honest, I don’t think it matters to them. My brothers and their kids and current girlfriends are still the favorites. It’s so wrong to raise kids that way, in competition with each other. Your family wasn’t like that. Your family was about love and acceptance—and obviously still is. Matthew and I feel welcome here, and that is an amazing gift.”

“Wow, Mel. I knew your parents were, you know, difficult, but you never went into it much. I’m surprised you didn’t confide in me back when we were so close.”

I shrugged. “They were my parents. What could anyone have done back then? What would you have done? One thing I know is that my chaotic upbringing made me stronger. I don’t play doormat for anybody. That includes you, Jim Standish, no matter how nice you are to Matthew.”

I blew out a breath that puffed in a white cloud. It was cooling down quickly tonight. “I do thank you for your kindness to Matthew. You really have been good to him. Just—don’t get the idea that I forgive you. That will never happen.”

“So why come back to Serendipity now?”

“Kind of a strange series of occurrences. Life was going along fine, then all kinds of doors shut in my face. The one that was standing open with a big welcome mat was the Osborne house, which I’ve always wanted. You might say that’s all coincidence, but I disagree. The most important thing is this is the right place to raise Matthew, and I know we’ll have a good life.”

“Why the Osborne place?”

“Living there, and holding my head up, is something I’ve wanted to do for a lot of years. You may or may not have a clue why that would be important to me.”

He looked away from me, back into the distance. “Everybody has to deal with their past the best way they can. You’ve changed a lot, Mel, and all for the good. You were pretty in high school, but twenty years later, you’re seriously beautiful. I can see you’ve been through some stuff and overcome it.” He looked at me then, deeply into my eyes and I refused to flinch. “You’re hiding something, though. Any chance you’re going to tell me what it is?”

I shook my head. “None at all. Thanks again for watching out for Matthew.” I called to him and he trotted over to me, happy and panting as much as the big black dog.

“I gotta go home now, Mr. Jim. See you tomorrow.”

“That’s a plan, pardner.”

Daisy walked us to the SUV but Jim just stood there, the question still in his smile as he waved when I drove away. Was he bluffing about me hiding something?

Turning onto Tree Farm Road, I started a jazz CD to help calm me down. I checked the rearview and saw Matthew’s smile hadn’t dimmed a bit. He pulled a little plastic truck out of his backpack and ran it back and forth along the window ledge of the car.

What a day.
A face-off among the members of the Standish family about the future of the farm, an unpleasant stroll down memory lane with Jim, and Jared Barnett asking about a big rolling property with a lake and lots of trees.

I was either in the right place at the right time, or all heck was about to break loose.

The girls’ day out we had started to plan all those weeks ago finally happened, in the form of an early Christmas shopping trip to Louisville. Francie and Carla assured me that Lillian would be hurt if she didn’t get to watch Matthew while we were gone. I hadn’t spoken to any of them about the blowup in the family living room that day, and I sure wouldn’t say anything about the little talk Jim and I had afterward. If I was super lucky, I could drop Matthew off at the door as I did each weekday morning, and not see Jim at all. But ‘super lucky’ wasn’t descriptive of my recent experiences. When I pulled up to Lillian’s house and Matthew scrambled out of his car seat, he dashed straight toward Jim who was coming around the corner with Daisy at his heels.

“He sure likes Jim. But there’s no accounting for taste.” Carla stepped down off the front porch smiling, as Jim swung the little boy up in the air, resulting in squeals of delight.

Lillian came out then, wiping her hand on a kitchen towel. “You girls have fun now. We’ll be just fine. I have plenty to keep these boys busy all day.”

The identical look of mock horror on Jim and Matthew’s faces was priceless, and chuckling, Lillian turned on her heel and went back into the house.

“I suppose it’s natural for him to gravitate toward a male role model,” I said, wanting to be realistic about it. “Just weird for Jim to fill that capacity, however temporarily.”

“Not so weird, honey.” Francie pulled out her cell phone and sent a text. “You’re like family, so Jim is kind of a brother to you.” She smiled innocently. “Right?”

“Right. That’s it.” 

“I texted Alice that we’re on our way, so let’s get moving.” Francie slid the cell back into her bag. “That girl needs a day out more than the rest of us, I’d bet.”

“I feel bad for being so caught up in my work I haven’t gotten over to see Alice. Of course, I guess the street runs both ways.”

“I don’t see her much these days either,” Carla said, opening the door of her Mustang and sliding in behind the wheel.

“Is she okay?” I asked.

“Sure. I think so. It’s just, you know, I wish she’d done something more with her life. Instead of settling for Dean. Don’t get me wrong.” she hurried to say. “Dean is a very good guy. Alice chose him, so we have to be nice to him.”

“I don’t. I don’t even live in Serendipity anymore.” Francie’s home was in Florida, but she had put her own life on hold to be with Lillian for a while after Harry’s death.

“Could have fooled me, sister. You’ve been here how long?”

“A few months. I’m helping Mom.”

“Sure.” Carla slowed as a squirrel ran across the road, hesitated, and headed back the same way he’d come. “Yes, you’re helping Mom. But Mom’s doing fine now, don’t you think? I mean, considering… What’s
really
going on with you, Francie? Is your marriage in trouble too?”