Authors: Wendy Higgins
N
estled within the big city was the small convent, quaint and hidden among a border of evergreens, overshadowed by the larger orphanage next to it. It wasn’t the kind of place that would attract interest from tourists. It would go easily unnoticed by most locals, too.
Kaidan pulled the car through the open gate. Past the trees and a small lawn was a simple, two-story faded brick building, overrun on the sides by vines. We parked in a gravel area and looked at the building. I remembered it, only without as many vines.
We’d been silent the entire ride. I wished I could somehow ease the tension between us, but it had to run its course. Things had shifted tonight. In a big way.
“I’ll wait here,” Kaidan told me. I got out and made my way to the entrance on a cracked concrete walkway. The early evening air was still hot, but made bearable by the sweetness of honeysuckle in the air.
At the door, I read the small placard:
convent of our mother mary
. I pulled up on the heavy brass knocker and let it fall three times. A young nun answered wearing a long-sleeved flowered dress falling below her knees, with white tights and sandals. Her hair was pulled into a bun, and a crucifix hung around her neck.
The sister touched a hand to her heart. A thin stream of navy blue grief ran through the lavender peace in her aura. “You must be Anna. Thank you so much for coming.”
She invited me into the foyer area and gave me a warm hug, which I needed, even from a stranger. As she left to retrieve the box, I looked around the creamy walls of the foyer and felt comforted. I could remember being there in Patti’s arms as she said good-bye to Sister Ruth sixteen years ago. There was still a fountain against the wall, trickling a stream of water like a rush of nostalgia.
The young nun came down the wooden steps and handed me a small box. It was over a foot in length and sealed with layers of tape.
“Thank you for everything,” I told her.
“You’re welcome, dear.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to meet Sister Ruth. She was the most precious soul I’ve ever known.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, and I felt the huge regret of loss as we hugged one last time and I turned to leave.
Sister Ruth was gone, and with her went whatever knowledge she’d held. Kaidan didn’t glance at me when I climbed back in with the box on my lap. He made a fast turn and exited the lot, kicking up gravel. His mood hadn’t improved.
I wanted him to say something. I ran my fingers along the taped edges of the box, sorting through a list of meaningless topics that could fill the space between us. Sister Ruth’s death only deepened the void.
When we got back to the hotel, we walked to the room together. I climbed on my bed and sat with the box on my lap. I looked up at Kaidan, who was half sitting, half leaning on the table across from me with his arms crossed and his eyes far away in thought.
“May I use one of your knives?” I asked.
“Here, let me.” He sat across from me and pulled out a knife, slicing around the edges. I opened the cardboard flap. Inside was a wooden box so old and smooth that the wood looked petrified. I pulled it out and set the cardboard box on the floor. A small gold clasp held the lid shut. I undid the clasp and lifted the lid. At first I couldn’t process what I was seeing. It was made of silver... no, maybe it was gold... no... What was it? It glimmered with a range of metallic colors from bronze to platinum, as if it were alive.
“Is that a sword hilt?” I asked. Just looking at it frightened me. “What’s it made of?”
Kaidan was leaning toward it and staring with rapt disbelief.
“May I?” he asked, gesturing toward it.
“Go ahead.”
He gingerly picked it up and cradled it in his hand, turning it from side to side. The metal shimmered like nothing I’d ever seen.
“I don’t believe it,” Kaidan whispered.
“What? What is it?”
His face seemed to register the object, and he dropped it back into the wooden box, rubbing his hands together and staring down with awe-inspired terror.
I reached down to feel it myself, but when my finger touched the warm metal, a bolt of energy zapped through my finger and up my arm. I yelled and yanked my hand away. Kaidan sat up straight and stared at me, hair hanging in his rounded eyes.
“What is this thing?” I asked.
“It clearly wasn’t forged on earth,” he stammered. “I think... But it’s impossible. A Sword of Righteousness?”
“What’s that?”
“They were used by the angels in the war of the heavens.”
Now it was my turn to gawk down at it with that same fearful respect.
“But why is she giving it to me?” My heart accelerated.
“Only the angels of light could use them. The old legends say the blade will appear only when needed if the wielder is pure of heart. Anna... it’s the one known weapon that can take out a demon spirit.”
We stared at each other, sharing a secret that could doom us.
“And why is she giving it to me?” I asked again, my heart beating as fast as it could.
I have no idea how long we continued to stare at each other, searching for meaning, before he stood up and moved away from me. He felt for his phone in his pocket and spoke to me as he was getting on his shoes and heading for the door.
“I need to clear my head. Patti called while you were in the convent and I told her about Sister Ruth. Call her on the room phone and I’ll pay the charge.” The door shut behind him and I sat there stunned.
Sister Ruth gave me a weapon. I didn’t know what to do with a sword! Was I expected to kill demons? If only I’d come to L.A. sooner so I could speak with her.
I called Patti with the intention of telling her everything about the visit with my father and what Sister Ruth left me, and then I remembered how careful the nun had been with the information. She would tell me only in person. So I told Patti all went well and I’d give her every detail when I got home. The phone felt unsafe.
“You sound exhausted, honey,” Patti said when I was finished. “Why don’t you go get some rest. We can talk more tomorrow, ’kay?”
I was worn out when we hung up. As I climbed into bed I wondered what Kaidan was doing and who he might be calling, not that it was any of my business. But I was worried about him. I thought about trying to listen for him, but if he wanted privacy he would be more than a mile away by now. Kaidan didn’t come back to the room until after I’d been in bed awhile, half in and half out of sleep.
I tossed and turned all night, even crying out and waking myself once with a dream I couldn’t recall. Kaidan lay still all night in his own bed. I never did hear his deep-sleep breathing.
I
must have finally dozed off, only to be awoken by a screeching buzz. I sat straight up. It was four thirty in the morning. Kaidan hit the alarm.
“We need to get an early start,” he said, sounding wide-awake and just as forlorn as last night.
“Oh. Uh, m’kay.”
It was still dark out as we sped down the interstate. Despite a hot shower, I was still sleepy. The city was calm at this early hour on a Sunday morning. There were hardly any cars on the road. We passed a sign for LAX, which bothered me, because we hadn’t passed the airport on our way into the city.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
He cleared his throat and said without kindness, “You’re going home today.”
My jaw dropped.
“Everything’s been arranged,” he said. “Patti will be waiting for you when your flight arrives in Atlanta.”
There it was again—rejection punching me in the stomach.
“Why?” I forced out.
His voice was soft, but still held that serious edge. “Things have gotten too complicated.”
“Do you mean because of the sword, or is it me?” I asked.
“It’s you.” What had I done, besides care for him? This was unfair!
“Is it so unbearable to be around someone who cares for you?” I asked.
“I’d say that you’re feeling a bit more than ‘care’ for me, Anna.” He was getting snippy now, gripping the steering wheel. “I could see your emotion popping around you like pink bubble gum last night.”
“So what?!” I was fully awake and working up the volume now. “I haven’t tried to
say
it to you. I’m sorry that I lost focus for a second and let you see it!”
He took the airport exit, speaking to me with maddening calmness bordering on coldness. “Don’t be dramatic about this.”
“You don’t call this dramatic? Abandoning me at the airport before daylight?”
“I’ll see that you’re in safe hands before I leave.” His calm demeanor unnerved me.
“Don’t bother,” I spit. I could see now how people said hurtful things to the ones they loved out of anger. In my mind I ran through all of the cutting things I could say to him.
He pulled up to a departure curb and put the car in park.
Just as quickly as my anger had come, it was now replaced by sadness.
“I’ve never even been on a plane,” I said, grasping at straws.
“You will be fine.”
“I want to stay with you.” Desperation.
“You can’t,” he said in zombie mode. “Your father was right. You should get home as soon as possible. I don’t trust myself with you.”
“Don’t trust yourself? Or don’t trust me?”
He stared straight ahead as we sat there. I grabbed the fabric at his shoulder and tugged. “Answer me!”
He turned his face, and as our eyes met his calm facade cracked, unleashing his anger and fears.
“I don’t trust either of us! We can’t be together in
any
capacity
ever
again. It’s a damn-near miracle you’re still a virgin now. If that Sword of Righteousness is intended for you to use, then you should want to stay away from me, too, because I promise I could not resist if you told me to pull the car into the parking garage right now.” He leaned closer. “Could you resist a drug if I repeatedly placed it on the tip of your tongue, Ann? Could you? We’re playing with fire!”
He looked beyond me to the airport, breathing hard.
“So, what are you going to do now?” I asked him. “Go back to doing your father’s work and pretend you never knew me?”
He sighed and his demeanor softened. “What would you have me do?”
What
would
I have him do? Have meaningless sex with girl after girl, or deny his father and be killed? Both thoughts shot through me like iced arrows, piercing my heart.
“You have to work,” I choked out. I hated the truth of it.
The look he gave me was full of bitterness.
“Do you know what my father said when I came home the night after he met you? He said God was a fool to put you in my path. And he was right.”
“No.” I gritted my teeth. “Your father was wrong! And how do you know it wasn’t
you
who was put in
my
path? There’s a purpose for you in all of this, too.”
Kaidan shook his head. I could see his jaw clenching in the indention of his temple. He looked at me hard.
“Do you want to know why my father chose to live in Atlanta, even though his job was in New York? He’s got this infatuation going on with that human woman Marissa. She’s the madam of an underground prostitution ring in Atlanta. International sex slavery. Young girls from starving families are sold to her. And guess who gets to introduce those girls to their new lives?”
I held my breath and froze. There were no words to comfort this kind of pain. My stomach clenched.
“Marissa calls the girls her nieces. The girl they brought me the night before our trip was the youngest ever. She couldn’t have been twelve.”
Dear God.
“For the first time ever I refused him, told him I couldn’t. And do you know why?”
I shook my head, riveted by his eyes as the words poured out of him fast and powerful.
“Because all I could think about was you, Anna, and how
good
you are, and what you’d think. You put thoughts into my head that Neph shouldn’t have!” He paused, staring out the window. “My father let it slide for now, but he was furious. He’ll be watching me now, testing me. I can’t afford to have anything more to do with you.”
We were quiet a long time. I didn’t want to leave him yet. Not like this. I had no idea what to say.
“Kai... I know you’re scared and freaked out. I am, too. But maybe this sword is a sign that something’s going to happen. Something good for the Neph.”
His head was lowered. He was staring blankly at the console between us.
“You felt power when you touched the hilt, didn’t you?” he asked, lifting his blue eyes to me through strands of hair. I nodded. “Well, I didn’t. I’m not worthy to help with whatever plan they have for you. So just go back to your sweet and innocent life and stay away from me.”
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t push me away. We can be friends, and—”
He took my chin in his firm hand and looked at me.
“We can never just be friends, Anna. Get it through your head now. There can be
nothing
.”
He released me and got out of the car. I sat there, hating the stinging in my eyes and throat. I watched in the side mirror as he spoke with an airline worker at the outdoor check-in. With a short extension of my senses I heard him tell the man my ticket had been purchased over the phone last night and I was traveling as an unaccompanied minor for the very first time. The employee assured him they’d look after me.
Kaidan thanked him and walked back to the car, opening my door. I took my time stepping out. I thought about making a scene, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He showed me a small wad of money and then pushed it into my pocket.
“You gave all yours away,” he explained, then turned before I could argue and went to the check-in desk again.
In a foggy dream I was presenting my ID and receiving a boarding pass. We walked back to the car, out of the way of other passengers who were showing up. We stood facing each other. Did it have to be like this? I took a chance and leaned my forehead against his chest, expecting him to push me away, but he didn’t. He let me lean against him, but he kept his own hands at his sides.
“It’s time for you to go,” he said.
“Wait.” I looked up at him. “There’s something I need to know.” I was scrambling for time, and there’d been something nagging at me this whole trip, especially after last night. “Remember at the beginning of the trip, when you said you always know right away what you’d have to do to get a girl into bed... even me?”
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and I saw his forearms flex. His eyes went smoky blue in that dangerous way of his, and he gave a single nod.
“What would you have to do?” I asked. “For me?”
“Let’s not go there,” he said in a low voice.
“Tell me. Please.”
He stared at my face, paying special attention to my freckle. He wet his lips and clenched his jaw.
“Fine,” he finally said. “I’d have to make you believe I loved you.”
I closed my eyes. That one hurt. Mostly because I realized deep down, I
had
thought he loved me. I had a very bad case of good-girl syndrome.
Had this whole trip been a game for him, then? Was I nothing more than another silly girl who’d been foolish enough to fall for him? I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that. He stared down, daring me to ask more.
“I wish, just once, that I could see your colors,” I whispered.
“Well, I’m glad you can’t. And I wish I’d never seen yours.”
He’d been right when he said the truth could hurt far worse than any lie.
With a deep breath I turned from him, picked up my bag, and walked into the airport, not looking back.