Sweet Seduction Serenade (18 page)

Which brought me to Ben's incredibly inaccurate words and why the darn hell he'd said them. Sure, Nick was his boss and Derek was pissing him off, but did he have to lie about it and make me look like a two-timing slut in front of a good man? Not that Derek was still under the column in my mind that classified him as "good" right now. The whole "
You need to pack your bags and get ready to head out to the airport
" demand and the explosive declarations of "
You gotta know, Eva baby, that I want you in my home, in my bed
" had kind of put paid to that.

Who says that sort of thing?

Cowboys. That's who. And for a cowgirl who never cried, I sure as darn hell came close to it several times in the past hour. What an utter clusterfuck. And to top it all off it was Sweet Seduction's grand opening showcase local talent night and I had temporarily lost my voice.

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that none of this had happened. That I was at a concert instead, watching Garth Brooks perform live, floating on a cloud as the words to his beautiful songs reached my very soul. The conversation around the bed had ceased, which helped me to fall a little further into the daydream.

And then Gus started strumming the Breedlove.

Gus is not a Garth Brooks aficionado like me, he's more into Lonestar, so the opening chords to
Amazed
broke into my Garth Brooks fantasy, but when all three of my temporary band began to serenade me, singing the words to Lonestar's number one hit single in harmony, I didn't much mind the interruption at all. My
real
band, back home in Nashville, would never have sat around my bed and sung me a song like this while they waited for my voice to heal for an important performance that night.

I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks as I listened to their beautiful voices and the even more beautiful words, "
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side, forever and ever
" and I decided that
I
wanted to spend the rest of mine singing with these guys.

Which was a shock to the system, to say the least. And yet another thing to have to come to terms with inside my messed up, scrambled head. Nashville had been home for eight years. I loved it. I loved living in the middle of a Country singer's Mecca. But all of a sudden, with these guys singing around my bed and my best friend Cary watching from the corner, mist in his own rounded eyes, Nashville felt so very far, far away.

And I felt like I might be home.

I didn't know how to process that. I truly didn't. I had run away from Auckland, from my upbringing, from my less than perfect childhood. I'd escaped into Country music heaven and I'd had a blast. It had been, while not everything I had dreamt it would be, at the very least fun. Right down to the line of cowboys I left behind me as I strutted my cowgirl boots across various stages in town.

But although the part of my heart that was musical had been in Country paradise, the part of my heart that was lovelorn had been left behind in New Zealand. And it was obvious that my band in Nashville had never filled the gap left by my absent heart. They had only provided a bandage to cover it with. Looking at Gus and Gonzo, two guys I'd known for years, and Spike who was quickly becoming one of my musical family with his easy ways and quick wit, I wondered if I could do it with these guys by my side. I wondered if I could mend my missing heart and actually live again.

Slow down and smell the roses. Take time out to enjoy the ride, instead of trying to beat it. Allow a few good men to be a part of my life, to open up and truly let them in under my skin. If I could do that, then maybe, just
maybe
, I could fill the gap inside with something great. And even though it scared me to the point of shaking, I wondered if that something
great
could be Nick.

By the time the band finished their rendition of
Amazed
, I was more than ready to get prepared for tonight's performance. Because it was even more important than it had been before. Because if I stayed, we'd need the jobs the show could elicit for us. And because if Derek hadn't caught his flight already and came to the show for one last chance, I would have to do what I should have done the minute I saw him. Apologise, tell him he was a good cowboy and deserved a good cowgirl back home, and send him packing.

And then, I would tell Nick that he was definitely my perfect cowboy and he didn't need to follow me to Nashville, because I wasn't going anywhere ever again.

"Thanks guys," I said, wiping at the tears on my cheeks.

"Aw, Eva. Cowgirls don't cry!" Spike said, but he was smiling while he said it.

"Casey does," Gus added. "And she's cowgirl through and through."

"That she is," Gonzo nodded in agreement. "Cowgirls cry when they're meant to. When songs are sung that melt the heart."

"Jeez. Too poetic, dude," Spike muttered.

"You're a heathen," Gonzo threw back.

"I'm a realist," Spike argued.

"No soul," Gonzo declared.

"Dude! I'm full of soul. Or so Kelly tells me."

"She wasn't talkin' 'bout you being full of soul, Spike," Gonzo said patiently. "She was talkin' 'bout you being full of..."

"Hey, wanna be my band forever?" I blurted out, causing all the men to turn and stare at me. Gus actually blinked a couple of times.

"Come again, Tennessee?" Gus asked.

"Well, you know, if you don't have any plans already. Do you want to stay together and sing Country for as long as we can?" I asked, feeling a little nervous.

"You sayin' what I think your sayin'?" Gonzo asked slowly.

"What do you think I'm saying?" I asked back just as slowly.

"You're not going back to Nashville," Gonzo clarified and my eyes shot to Cary's in the corner.

I really hadn't planned this out right. Cary looked stunned.

"Um..." I said, but Cary interrupted.

"That's a great idea, sweetie. It's time to come home." He looked sad, but was putting on a brave face. My sudden decision left me feeling hollow, when I realised it meant no more Cary.

Is this what growing up finally felt like? The knowledge you'd made the right decision, but the pain that came with it cleaving your heart in two?

"Cary," I said, but the words stuck in my still slightly sore throat.

"I'll miss you too, cowgirl," he whispered and then excused himself and got up to leave the room, mumbling he was going to check on my Dad for me.

The guys were all silent for a while, clearly picking up on the unhappy vibes in the room, then Spike said, "I'm up for playing together as long as the music lasts."

"Me too," said Gus with enthusiasm.

"Me three," added Gonzo, high fiving Gus above my bed.

The next hour was given over to some low-volume vocal exercises, Gus leading me through them, the other guys adding encouragement here and there. Cary didn't come back in the room during the entire practice. After an hour of that, I started strumming my guitar and we segued into a few of the numbers planned for that night. Although my voice still felt a little rough around the edges, my throat no longer hurt and the guys all thought it added a little smoky to my vocals that went well with our style of Country.

By three the guys headed off to meet me at Sweet Seduction just after four. I managed a bite to eat finally, had a shower and got myself dressed for the night. I decided on a dark brown Pocohontas T-Shirt material dress that came to a couple of inches above my knee. It had some delicate Native American stitching around the elasticised empire waist and edging the scooped neckline. And a lovely feather-like design coming down from the middle of my waistband, splaying out in a complementary colourful pattern across my stomach. It had short capped sleeves and a slightly A-framed shaped skirt, but as it was in T-Shirt material, it hung nicely, losing that shape in its natural folds. I teamed it with dark brown below knee cowgirl boots and a dark brown
Bullhide
cowgirl hat. As far as outfits went it was simple enough, but sometimes the simple ones say the most.

A few minutes given over to peaches and cream lotion, a smattering of make-up and my hair loose down my back, slightly wavy due to being in a braid all day. It could be a pain out free during a performance, it took a little extra care to keep it in line, yet make it seem carefree, but for special occasions it was worth it. Tonight was a special occasion for so many reasons.

Aunty Jessie was in the lounge when I came out and much to my surprise so was Ben. His arms crossed over chest, scowl-in-place expression, as he stood sentinel at the front door, kept any snarky words Jessie may have had to a minimum. She did manage to get one or two in though, of course.

"You better not be too late tonight, Missy." I noticed in front of Ben she'd dropped the "Hoity-Toity". I was quite OK with that. "I have a big day planned tomorrow."

"She'll be home when she gets home," Dad muttered, stunning the ever-lovin' crap out of me.

Jessie glared at him for a second, then turned an even harder look on me.

"I see," she said ominously, but Ben just grunted over my shoulder, reached forward and took my Breedlove case from my hands and opened up the front door. Making it obvious he didn't think much of Jessie's comment.

"OK, see ya, Dad," I said cheerfully, just to grate on Aunty Jessie's nerves. It worked, her glare turned Arctic.

Cary threw me a smirk as he walked out of the kitchen, dressed and ready for the night, but my eyes shifted to Dad when he said softly from the couch, "Sing
Wrapped Up In You
for me, would you, girl?"

I stared at the small, obviously fading body of my father on the couch, who'd just asked me to sing one of Garth Brooks' truly most cutest and loveliest love songs - for him. A song that spoke of
how his love for a special someone supports him through the hard times, and how without her love his life would be sad and lonely. It was a quirky song and not on my play list. It hadn't been written by Garth, but by Wayne Kirkpatrick, for Garth instead, so hadn't been one of my favourites. I did love some of the lyrics though, especially, "
How do I love thee, well let me see, I love you like a lyric loves a melody
."

I decided then and there that it would be one of my encores, a solo by me without the band, sung for my dying Dad.

"Sure, Dad," I said through a thick throat. "I'll sing it for you."

He grunted, leaned forward and picked up his Lipton Tea to drink, eyes on the TV before him.

It took the entire trip into Sweet Seduction in Ben's SUV to get myself under control. Neither Ben nor Cary said a word, Cary offering a small squeeze of my shoulder from the rear seat, Ben's eyes resolutely on the road ahead. By the time we pulled up outside the store though, my eyes were clear and my throat no longer thick. I'd had to think of all manner of things to get that way, and none of them had to do with my father, or Country music, or the song
Wrapped Up In You
. I think a little American football featured there for a bit and the comparisons - or not - between that sport and New Zealand's national game, rugby. It seemed to do the trick.

The band was already there setting up, Sweet Seduction closed to the public for a few hours - earlier than normal on a Saturday - but of course opening up at seven for early entry to the venue, pre-performance drinks and chocolate treats, and the show itself planned for eight. I walked in and found Gen and Kelly hard at work rearranging the coffee lounge area, Lucas the barista working behind the huge espresso machine - which would be switched off during songs - and Jane and Karla, the two additional Sweet Seduction staff, refilling the refrigerated chocolate cabinets and stacked take-away cups.

I shouted out - well not shouted, I was still being careful of my voice, but did wave and say loudly - "Hi!" Then headed over to the band, after thanking Ben. Who I noticed settled in with a coffee from Lucas in the front corner of the store, where he could see the street, the front doors and me across the room. I guess bodyguard duty didn't stop just because I'd entered the video camera inner sanctum of Sweet Seduction. That made me look up at the ceiling trying to spot the cameras, which I couldn't and it only pissed me off.

"You won't see them," Kelly remarked as she shifted furniture near the stage. "I work here Monday to Friday and I've still only found the one out in the dungeon."

"The dungeon?" I asked, puzzled.

"Music cave, dungeon." She shrugged. "Where the LPs and CDs are."

Oh. Cool.

"You don't mind them?" I asked, holding a power cord for Spike who was down on his knees trying to connect an amp.

"You get used to it. The first few days I knew they were there I constantly wanted to scratch my butt, but kept having to stop myself."

I felt myself smile. "And now?"

Kelly's smile back was mischievous. "Now, I make sure I have to adjust my bra strap at least a dozen times a day. Flashing only a hint of skin, of course," she added with a wink.

I laughed, I could just imagine whoever kept an eye on the screens at ASI trying to adjust the camera angle to get a better view and failing miserably because of Kelly's careful "flashing".