Sweet Seduction Surrender (9 page)

I lifted my head and peered out into the hall. Still no Jason, but the TV was flicking through its channels every few seconds. How would he even know if I disobeyed him?

I don't know why touching myself seemed to be the only form of disobedience I could conjure up. Surely getting up off the bed made more sense. Even getting dressed, turning on the light. Taking a bloody cold shower would do. But I dismissed all of those notions as inadequate. He wanted me to obey that last command. Why else did he repeat it?

And, if I was brutally honest with myself - and there was no one here to see the blush that came at these next thoughts anyway - I was entirely too turned on. Who gets turned on by this sort of thing?

Obviously me.

I licked my lips, took one more quick glance out of the doorway, still seeing nothing there and hearing the TV channel surfing, so I slowly began to stroke a hot hand down my chest, pausing slightly at my breasts. My back rose, pressing my already rock hard nipples into my palms and I closed my eyes as my hands squeezed the flesh tight.

Oh, dear Lord that felt good.

My eyes sprang open to make sure Jason hadn't appeared or heard the small whimper that escaped my lips. But the TV would have been too loud and was still alternating channels, the abrupt interruption to sentences making it obvious he was still surfing out there.

I smiled at my defiance of his instructions. Captain Jason Cain was not in charge of me.

One hand travelled on reluctantly from my nipple, but there was a more urgent area needing my attention. Eyelids closed again, I let a long sigh out of my mouth, turning my head to the side as my fingers found their goal. My body shivered, then followed that up with a jerk as I started rolling my clit beneath my fingertip.

I could still hear the channels changing from down the hallway, so I didn't bother to open my eyes and check the room again. I just concentrated on what my fingers were doing, on the wetness beginning to coat their tips, on the swelling and throbbing that had taken up residence between my thighs.

This was so wicked and because Jason had forbidden it, so decidedly naughty.
But oh so nice.

A finger dipped inside, and I wished it was Jason's. Or better yet, his hard shaft. I pumped the single digit three times, then needing
more
I withdrew it and replaced it with two instead. I could have rolled over to my bedside drawer and retrieved my vibrator, but that seemed like too much of a deviation from Jason's instructions and I wasn't sure how much time I actually had left.

Needing to finish this, needing to get the release my body craved, I worked harder, blocking out everything else except what my hand and fingers were doing, and the building tension inside.

Half of me expected to be interrupted, for Jason to burst in and demand I stop. To pull my hand aside and and replace my fingers with his. It was an image that just made my body tingle with evermore urgent desire. I
wanted
him to catch me. Oh dear God I wanted him to take over. To punish me for my disobedience, to carry out the threat of spanking me like he'd promised.

This was why we were doing this, wasn't it? This game of cat and mouse.

I think I knew he was there, even though I didn't open my eyes, couldn't hear anything else but my laboured breathing and the TV out in the lounge. But my mind chose to ignore that sensation of being watched and finish what I - no what
he
- had started.

I came apart in a dizzying array of colours behind my lids. So unexpected considering the dimness of the room. I gasped, bit my lip, and then had to bury my face in the pillow beneath my cheek to stifle the cry that escaped my throat. I don't know if it was the imagined fantasy of having Jason watch me, or the fact that if he did catch me I'd be in for some trouble, no doubt. Or just the whole scenario he'd created. But the orgasm was one of the best self-induced I'd ever had.

Of course, despite his body not being the stimulant to bring me to climax, he had certainly been involved in the event. So, could it still be called self-induced?

I panted through the aftermath and slowly came back to the room. It was still dim, only a small amount of light from out in the hallway reaching the bedspread where I lay covered in a thin layer of perspiration: breathless, boneless, replete. But there was enough light to see a figure sitting in the armchair at the end of my bed. Elbows on his spread knees, his threaded fingers up to his chin as he leaned forward... watching. A more perfect position to observe my actions did not exist. Jason would have had front row seats to what I was doing, to my reaction to every stroke, every plunge of my fingers inside.

My eyes met his, he held perfectly still and stared back at me.

Then said, in that deep, rough voice that meant he was turned on, "Kate, Kate, Kate. What am I going to do with you?"

"Ah," I spluttered, shifting to a half sitting position on top of the covers, to better face the devil at the end of my bed.

I was suddenly unsure if I'd done the right thing. He looked immobile sitting there in the armchair across the room. Sure, I could see an obvious bulge in his jeans, but he wasn't acting on it. He was simply staring at me, with a soft shake of his head, as though disappointed somehow. I bit my lip, confused, then quashed that snivelling reaction and lifted my chin in defiance. Something crossed his face, flashed in his eyes. I refused to kowtow to it.

"This is what you expected to happen, isn't it?" I queried, making sure my voice was strong and level. Not a quaver in sight.

"No," he replied succinctly and my heart fell. "How can there be trust between us if you don't follow my directives?" he added.

Oh. I quickly redirected my thoughts from that unhappy revelation.

"So, what happens now?" I couldn't believe I was still anticipating a spanking for my actions. Not just anticipating it, but wanting it with every fibre of my being. Something of that desire must have shown on my face because Jason chuckled. It was a relief to hear him make a cheerful, if not slightly wicked, sound.

"You want me to punish you, don't you, Kate?" I held his gaze. "And just for that, I won't"

Disappointment washed through me, quickly followed by belated relief. Ah, there's my self-preservation at last.

He rose from his seat and started walking languidly toward the side of the bed, his fingers undoing the top button of his jeans with casual ease. My heart did a little happy-happy-joy-joy dance inside.
Finally!

"Did it occur to you," he said, as his jeans met the floor and he toed them and his boxers off. His stiff erection met my hungry eyes as he came to rest at the side of the bed. He didn't come closer, just started stroking himself before me, letting me get my visual fill of all of him. Every single long, thick splendid inch of him under his well practised strokes. "That to have delayed your gratification until I arrived would have been better? Phenomenal even."

My eyes darted up to his, but quickly returned to what he was doing next to the bed. I'm not going to apologise for that, there was no way I could pull my gaze away from this spectacular vision for long.

"Kate," he chastised, making me lift my eyes reluctantly back to his face. "Eyes up here," he ordered and I gave him an incredulous glare in return.

He smirked, but didn't say anything more until he was sure I wasn't going to look away. It was hard not to, the man was gloriously naked before me, palming his erection and stroking it teasingly knowing exactly what the action was doing to my pulse. I kept my gaze resolutely on his face, even though he'd stepped closer and I could hear the soft sound of him pleasuring himself inches away.

"For this to work we have to trust each other implicitly," he said softly. But the soft edge in his voice was a disguise. The real meaning was hidden in the depths and weight of each word.

Of course trust was a prerequisite for any relationship, and him saying that we needed it did send tendrils of delight through my frame. But there was more here. Just like every other time. He was trying to tell me something, in his Jason Cain obtuse way. It was beginning to get through. Maybe repetition really does work.

Still.

"What are you really saying, Jason?" I asked, holding his gaze.

"I think you know, Kate. You're a smart woman. The question is, the only question that counts, can you do it? Can you take the risk?"

For once I just wanted him to come out and say the words. Why couldn't he? Was he embarrassed by them? Unsure of how I would react? Jason was taking a risk of sorts revealing himself to me in this way, but the risk was tempered with reticence. If he didn't actually say the words themselves he could deny ever taking the risk in the first place, when he eventually crashed and burned.

But that wasn't the crux of my dilemma, was it? Could I be the woman he wanted me to be? Jason Cain was a dominant and he wanted a woman in his life who would fit the role. I'm not entirely sure how far this all went for Jason. Did he want a pure submissive in his bed? Or was there some give and take? He was giving me glimpses, but not enough to make an educated decision in the end.

My eyes trailed down his body. Over every curve and dip across his broad chest. I longed to reach out and touch him, to lay a wet trail across that perfectly tanned skin with my tongue. To work my way down his torso, teasing with nips and bites, then quickly following up with soothing kisses. Watch goosebumps appear in my wake and know I could make his skin tingle like he does mine.

I'd wanted Jason for so long. I'd dreamt of him offering himself to me in some way. But in none of those fantasies did it include this scenario. To give up complete control to him, in return for ecstasy in his bed. I wasn't at all in doubt that that's what I would receive. Jason had been going easy on me this past day, introducing me bit by bit to his world. Never so much as to make me run screaming, only enough to entice me further into his web.

The fact I was using a spider as an analogy to describe Jason Cain was not lost on me. In a way I did feel a little trapped. Because how could I turn away from this? How could I not reach for what I desired when it was offered, when I'd had a small delicious taste, even if it was offered with caveats in place.

I knew so little about a dominant and submissive relationship. And part of me believed that Jason wasn't a true dominant, in the very strictest sense of the word. How could he be, when he'd been so casual in sharing that role up until now.

Or maybe, I hadn't been in charge at any time at all. Maybe, he was that good at making me feel I was, when in fact he controlled everything.

"You're thinking too much, Kate," he whispered, reaching one hand forward to cup my chin and tilting my gaze back up to his face.

He'd stopped stroking himself, but his erection was still sitting proud and long and hard between us. Clear evidence of what I did to him. It sent a thrill through me knowing I turned him on to that degree. But could I do this?

Could I take the risk he was asking me to take?

"I'm not sure," I finally admitted. He deserved an honest reply. "I've never done anything like this before."

He nodded in understanding, then said, voice soft like a caress, "I'm not sure I could be any other way."

And there you have it. The stalemate. I clearly wasn't ready to take that leap of faith, to risk. And he clearly wasn't capable of moulding himself to anything other than who he was. I admired him for knowing himself so clearly, but I was a little angry that he couldn't explain as plainly to me exactly what he required. An oblique reference to dominance was not enough for me to go on. He expected me to fill in the blanks.

"Where does that leave us?" I finally asked, feeling my heart getting wearier.

"You haven’t ruled it out completely," he said, still cupping my chin with one hand. "I can only assume you're afraid to take that next step."

I nodded, it was true. I still wanted him, I still ached for him. But I was... confused. Reticent like his admission was to me.

"Can you give me 'til the morning to give my answer?" I asked, stalling for more time with this man. Clinging with my fingertips if I had to.

He frowned slightly, I knew the hesitation for what it was. He was about to deny me that luxury. Jason Cain was not someone who gave an inch. He'd asked a question, I'd been unable to answer it immediately. To him the matter was as good as closed.

I couldn't have that. I needed more time. I wasn't sure of my answer, which meant my answer could still be a yes. I just needed more information,
more time
.

My hands gripped his hips and without giving him a chance to pull away my lips wrapped around his erection tightly. And I took as much of him as I could manage in my mouth, more than he expected, I think.

"Fuck," he breathed out. "Kate!" His hands automatically fisted in my hair, exactly the response I was after. "Oh, Kate. You are playing with fire, baby."

His hips started rocking, but I knew he was still holding back. That didn't bother me, it was enough for now that he wasn't stopping this at all. And the knowledge that he didn't want to scare me lifted my heart and replaced the weariness of before with brilliant light.

He groaned when I started playing with his sac, fondling the balls within firmly. Jason seemed like the kind of man who wanted to
feel
. He moaned, rocked harder, held my head still with his hands and started to really fall into the moment. Still holding a little back, but now more just a natural consideration than a calculated thought.

"Oh God," he breathed out above me. "Where did you learn that?" he asked in an almost pained whimper when I grazed the length of him with my teeth, then sucked hard on the way back up, adding a little tongue flourish at the tip.

I hummed my incoherent answer and received a loud and long moan from the back of his throat.

His movements were a little frantic now. His control was slipping. I think it surprised him more than it did me. Whatever I was doing was more than Jason Cain had bargained for and I took absolute delight in that fact. There was control here. Even though he held my head still with his grip in my hair, and he measured the distance he rocked into my mouth. Even though everything was done at his pace, at his direction. His reaction to my touch, my method of arousing him with my lips, to
me
, was something he had absolutely no control over in the end. It was all mine. My control over him.

And that realisation made me want to take that risk, because no matter how dominant Jason ended up being, I would always hold a measure of control over this man.

He pulled back creating a popping sound as the tip of his erection came free of my pursed lips.

"Oh, Kate," he breathed, following me down on the bed. His lips trailing over my collar bone, sucking on the sensitive flesh at the side of my neck, as his hand found one breast and began playing there. "My turn," he added, as he continued to move his large frame down the length of my body, soft kisses and nips making me squirm.

He spread my thighs, lifting one above his shoulder and then the other up as well. Then with one small smirk up at me he dipped his head between my legs and took his sweet time showing me exactly what the word payback means.

The first orgasm rocked through me making me gasp and shudder and cry out his name, but he wasn't nearly satisfied with that. He got up on all fours, commanded me to "stay still" and then reached into my bedside drawer.

And OK, so the blush that coated my cheeks wasn't as noticeable in the dim light of the room, but I could feel it, and I was sure he could feel it across my entire body, when he came back holding my vibrator in one hand.

"Thought you could hide this, huh?" he murmured, ducking his head again to between my thighs.

I whimpered in reply as he began to suck on my over sensitised clit, expecting him to slip the vibrator inside any moment. It didn't happen, and the longer he took the more I wanted it. His stimulation at my nub was welcomed, but because of the promise of what could happen, it wasn't enough.

"You want more, Kate?" he asked huskily against my thigh as he lay a delicate kiss on the skin there. "Here?" he asked, slipping the tip of the vibrator in between my folds, but not entering me yet. "Or 'round here?" he asked, as the vibrator slid through the dampness, coated in my free flowing juices, to end up between my butt cheeks at the other entrance.

"Jason," I warned, wanting and not wanting at the same time.

"It's OK," he purred, "Just a little, not far. Just at the edge. We'll start slowly, baby. Ease you into this."

This was it, his last attempt to get me to commit, to say the words. To take the risk.

I closed my eyes, felt him
everywhere
. And whispered in a husky voice that couldn't possibly be mine, "OK. I trust you."

He made a growling sound and dipped his head again, sucking and licking and making me writhe, and arch my back, and beg openly for more. He concentrated on my clit and the front of me for several delicious moments, adding a finger, then another and starting to pump to a rhythm he decided would work. It did work. An orgasm approached in lightning speed and just when I thought it would slam into me, knock me sideways, sweep me completely away, he switched on the vibrator, ran it through my soaking folds again and then pressed it into my butt an inch, no more.

Oh thank you God, fuck! I don't care to swear harshly, but this moment deserved the expletive, I will not lie. In fact for several long, drawn out, utterly ridiculously sensational seconds - or maybe minutes -
fuck
was on repeat in my head.

It wasn't until Jason turned the speed down on the vibrator, twisted it slowly and pulled it out, that I realised I'd said all those swear words aloud. I was not embarrassed. There was nothing right now that could embarrass me. I was beyond such superfluous emotion. I was in another dimension. I was further out than cloud nine.

"Kate," Jason whispered as he rose above me. "I know you're tired, and I'll let you sleep soon. But I need you, baby. Roll onto your stomach."