Sweet Southern Nights (Home In Magnolia Bend Book 3) (21 page)

Leaning back, Eva closed her eyes. She was doing okay. No, better than okay. The man she’d loved for years had told her he was falling for her. A position was up for grabs at the station, which could result in a much-needed raise.

Kids were sorta expensive. And with Charlie finally getting settled in and Claren, who had sent her an apology via email, admitting she needed help and had to stay at the facility a while longer, things were on the upswing. Life was good.

Her phone on the counter buzzed again. Another voice mail.

Maybe she should check it. Maybe something was going on. Water sluiced off her body as she stood and grabbed a towel, drying her hands.

This message was from Jake.

Can’t make it tonight. Sorry.

Eva lowered the phone. What the hell kind of message was that?

Disappointment struck hard. Damn it. She wanted to curl up next to him on the couch and watch a movie, like she was his girlfriend. And then once Charlie was asleep, take him to her bed and show him how much she’d missed him. But this was a weird message. No teasing. No flirting. Maybe Jake had already changed his mind.

No. Something had to have come up.

She texted:

Everything okay?

Yeah. Will talk later.

Dripping on the carpet, she stood there naked, wondering if she should text back or let it go.

She did neither. Instead, she called him...the old-fashioned way. It took him a long time before he answered, and when he said hello it sounded empty.

“Hey, what’s going on? I thought we had a date with two rib eyes tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, but I have something I have to do. Can’t wait.”

Eva didn’t know what to say to that. Pry? Or...

“Look, Eva,” Jake said, clearing his throat, “uh, I think I was a bit premature in saying—”

“Wait. Are you joking?” she interrupted, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her. She shut the toilet lid and sank down. “You’re really doing this? A blow-off before we even start?”

“No, we, ah, it’s complicated, E.”

“No shit. That’s exactly what I told you, but you said a lot of things Sunday that erased my reservations about sleeping with you.” She growled the last part because at that moment she felt like one of those cartoon characters that turned into a blinking dumb-ass. “Did you lie to me?”

“At that moment I sorta felt those things,” he said, his voice so dry, so emotionless, so not like the Jake she’d always known. He sounded...bored?

So all along this had been about Jake getting a piece of her dumb ass? How many other girls had he lied to in order to get into their pants? She’d always thought him to be a gigolo, but she’d thought him an honest gigolo. What kind of man used the “L” word to get laid?

She pulled the phone away and looked down at it.

He had to be joking. He couldn’t have faked all that. She would have known, wouldn’t she? “I can’t believe this. I really can’t. So me having to take care of my brother, who was running a 104-degree fever by the way, put you off? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Um, maybe the distance gave me perspective,” he said, clearing his throat again. Like a guilty man. “You suggested going in that direction could ruin things, and the more I thought about it, the more I think you’re right.”

“Too late. We went that direction. Anytime you snap a condom off after being with someone, you’ve gone in a direction, Jake. I can’t believe you’re pulling this shit.” She was yelling at him and didn’t care. He’d lost his mind. He acted as if he was...lying. “Wait, are you scared or something? Did someone say something?”

A long silence.

“No. I’m sorry, Eva. I never meant to hurt you.”

“So don’t. I believed you. I still believe in us. Don’t do this.”

“But you were right all along,” he said, robotically. Like he’d rehearsed it. “We should just be friends.”

“You’re lying to yourself...and to me. I’m so disappointed in you.”

“I’m sor—”

She hung up on him. She couldn’t deal with the stabbing pain that had pierced her, blooming inside her like a disease, taking over her body. She tossed the phone onto the counter, clutched her stomach and leaned over, trying not to scream.

He’d dumped her. And, sweet Lord Almighty, he’d barely even picked her up.

“Oh, oh, oh,” she said, rocking herself, squeezing her eyes closed as tightly as possible. As if she could will it away. As if—

“Eva?” Charlie said behind the closed bathroom door. “Who are you yelling at?”

Damn. “Uh, no one.”

“Your voice sounds funny. Like you’re choking on water. You’re not drownded, are you?”

“No, honey. Go watch your movie. I’ll be out in a minute,” she said, pressing a trembling hand over her mouth. Her body shook with unshed tears, and tremendous pressure bloomed in her head, threatening to explode.

Eva pressed her fingers into dry eyes.
Well, there you have it, sister. You did this to yourself.

And she had. She’d known Jake’s MO. Being with him, admitting her feelings, had been a huge risk and she’d crapped out, losing the entire bank. Yeah, Jake was a bastard extraordinaire, but she had known this could happen. But like every little girl in the world, she had believed a man could love her forever.

She blamed it on Cinderella and that Prince Charming crap spoon-fed to her as a child. Happily-ever-after, her ass.

Only one thing to do. Put one foot in front of the other. No time for pints of Ben and Jerry or crying jags or buying new shoes to alleviate the pain of a broken heart. She had Charlie to think of, and that meant pasting on a happy face, ignoring the steaks marinating, and going out for pizza.

She stood up, tossed the towel into the dirty clothes bin and wiped the smudges from under her eyes. She didn’t have the luxury of tears at that moment.

Instead, anger grew...and determination...and a hurt that would never go away.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

J
AKE
WAS
DRUNK
.

And he’d been drunk pretty much the whole weekend.

Seemed lying to Eva, breaking her heart and being thought of as a no-good rat-bastard made a man crave bourbon.

And scotch.

And Andy Gator beer.

“You know you’re too drunk to mow the yard,” Matt said from the rocking chair on the porch of the Beauchamp family camp. Matt came here on the weekends, when his wife came back to Magnolia Bend to visit their boys and stayed at the house they’d bought fifteen years ago. Sometimes she took them to New Orleans and her tiny apartment in the Vieux Carre, but most of the time she spared them the exposure to vomit, piss and tourists taking pictures with tired old mules tied to festive carriages. They’d been split up for eight months, and Matt had indicated that though he still loved his wife, he didn’t know how to mend what was broken between them.

Which made Jake even more depressed, so he took another swig of beer.

“I’m not too drunk. I’ve driven that tractor way drunker than this.”

“Sure, but the cutting job you did looked like you were hammered. Dad never forgave you for running over that confederate jasmine he’d planted by the boathouse.”

Jake gave a bitter laugh.

“So you gonna talk about why you’ve been the most morose bastard I’ve encountered in a decade?” Matt asked, sipping his coffee and staring out at the cypress trees draped with lacy Spanish moss. The lake was rough today, and not far from the camp lay the spot where Jake had taken Eva...where he’d said words he had to take back.

He hated himself for that.

“Nah, got nothing to say. Pretty much the way you feel about MJ.”

“I’m assuming this is about Eva.”

“And I’m assuming you should stay the hell out of my business. You had your say about me and her. I got the message.”

For a few minutes the only sound Jake heard was the creak of the rocker on the wooden slants of the porch. A mockingbird flew onto the porch and then immediately took flight again.

“I remember what I said,” Matt said with a grunt as he stood, “but also remember the advice came from a man who has no clue about women. Mary Jane was my first love, the first woman I ever slept with. Hell, the only woman I’ve ever slept with, so my knowledge of the fairer sex is shit. Just consider that.”

Matt passed him, snatching the keys to the old John Deere, heading to the metal building that housed all their dad’s toys—pirogues, an old Jet Ski and a multitude of tools.

Jake followed him because he was tired of wallowing in his own misery, tired of thinking about what he shoulda, coulda done. He’d done what Clint suggested. He’d unburdened Eva with the heartbreak that was sure to come from loving him. Everyone was right about him. He didn’t have the balls or the gumption to go after love.

Love hurt. And life had shown him as much. John’s wife had died, Abigail’s husband had cheated and Matt’s wife had left him.

The flipside to love was pain.

So why would he want to saddle himself with that particular emotion? He already had enough self-loathing rolling inside him. He’d already broken one man years ago and so the solution was quite easy—never feel anything more than casual concern. Well, at least for anyone outside his family. He couldn’t fake love for his family—that was as real as the sun every morning and the moon every night. But everyone else? Yeah, if he didn’t love and commit to people, he couldn’t let them down.

Like he had Clint.

Like he had Angela.

And like he had Eva.

He had so wanted Eva to be his. And when she’d said those things about believing in him...believing in them...he’d almost told her about Clint and his accusations. Her pain had broken his heart. And now he’d have to make his way through life missing the most important piece of himself.

“I can do the weed eating,” Jake said to Matt, grabbing the goggles and earplugs off the hook.

“No, you need to go sleep this off. I’ve been where you are. I’ve been sick over love. Booze ain’t gonna cure it. You’ve had your bender, you’ve probably examined what you’ve done—which I’m assuming is deny yourself Eva—and now it’s time to rest, shower and don the mask you’ll present to the rest of the world. And that’s no piece of cake, bro.” Matt sat a hand on his shoulder.

Jake nodded, handing the safety tools over to his older brother. Thank God he had someone to talk to, someone who understood. Not like he could go to Abigail or John. They were so stinkin’ in love one could barely tolerate being around them.
So
not the people he needed at this moment.

“Thanks, Matt.”

Matt snapped the headphones on his ears and climbed onto the tractor.

Jake headed back to the cabin, knowing that tomorrow he’d have to face Eva. Their shift would be murder, but he had to do it...unless he called one of the other guys and talked about a permanent switch.

God, he’d hate not being on shift with Eva. He’d grown so accustomed to her face, to the smell of her lotion and the way she ate all the red loops out of her cereal first.

But if he were truly putting her first, as he’d convinced himself he’d done, then he had to finish it. No sense in subjecting her to his presence.

I’m disappointed by you
.

Yeah, a woman who said that would likely be glad not to share toothpaste and couch time with him at the station.

Jake pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Cooper Platt. The younger firefighter had asked about switching shifts with him before because he didn’t like one of the guys on his shift. Ernie was a bit of a blowhard, but Jake could deal with the older know-it-all. Coop, Eva and Dutch would do fine together on C shift.

And he could think seriously about another job...or getting out of Magnolia Bend. After the blowup with Clint and with Eva no doubt hating him, he finally had the catalyst to make a change. Well, a different change.

And it started with switching shifts.

For Eva’s sake.

* * *

E
VA
WALKED
INTO
PattyAnn’s bakery and spied Jenny in the corner. When Eva had finally got around to checking her messages after an unprecedented crying jag into her pillow that night, she discovered that Jenny had seen or heard something that Eva had to hear about. Jenny had begged to meet her for lunch, and with Charlie over at Abigail’s helping Birdie make globe cookies for Columbus Day, she had enough time to slip away.

Of course she looked like crap. After a much-needed cry, the hope of sleep had fled from her like a toddler in a mall, hiding in the circular rack of Never Gonna Be the Same Again, an imaginary store full of tear-streaked tissues, white wine and faded promises. But damn if her pink nails didn’t look nice.

“Hey,” she said, pulling out the old-fashioned wire chair that was shaped like a heart. Oh, the irony. “What are you eating?”

Jenny spooned another bite of custard into her mouth and moaned. “Egg custard. I swear this stuff has crack in it. I’m getting another one. You want?”

“Nah,” Eva said. “Just grab me a coffee. Oh, and hell, an oatmeal cookie. Here’s some money.”

“Save it,” Jenny said with a wave, striding to the counter. No one else was there. Sunday afternoon wasn’t a jumping time for a bakery, but Patty Shoemaker opened it from one o’clock to four o’clock each Sunday for cookies and ice cream. She claimed her father used to take her for long drives each Sunday afternoon, finishing it off with an ice cream, so she wanted all kids to have the chance for that memory.

Today she’d have to settle for being the go-to spot for two single gals who needed sugar to deal with heartache.

“Patty says it’s on the house for one of Magnolia Bend’s bravest.” Jenny set the plate in front of her. Eva waved a thank-you to the older woman and then bit into the homemade deliciousness. After pizza last night, waffles for breakfast and now the cookie, surviving Jake would likely net her a few extra pounds.

“So what’s up with you?” Eva asked her friend.

“Nothing much. Jamison French asked me out,” Jenny said, dipping into the fresh custard. “I hesitated because I thought he was into you.”

“We only went out a few times. He’s a nice guy but he wasn’t for me. I like them rough around the edges.”

“I know,” Jenny teased, with a quick lift of her lips. “So what should I know about Jamison?”

Eva hoped Jenny hadn’t called to pick her brain about Jamison. She was so not in the mood. “He doesn’t sweat, his breath smells like cinnamon and he has a set of rules for dating. Didn’t even try to kiss me on the first date.”

“Reeeeally?” Jenny said with a devilish grin.

“You kissed him?” Eva laughed.

“Oh, I did more than kiss him, but that’s a story for another day. A really kinky story. Those prim and proper guys always fool you.” Jenny’s eyes danced as she dove back into her custard. “But I didn’t ask you here to talk about Jamie and his really talented hands. I have a scoop on your Jakey.”

“Scoop?” Eva’s heart leaped at the thought of any gossip involving her...and Jake. No one should have known about them. They’d been surrounded by only birds, squirrels and silent cypress trees.

“So I was at Ray-Ray’s Thursday night and I overheard Jake and Clint getting into it.”

“Like a fight?”

Jenny nodded. “Mmm-hmm, and it was over you.”

“Me?”

“Clint was cold as ice. Just frosty. And Jake was himself, all smiles when he entered.” Jenny jabbed a spoon at her. “I’m not a big gossiper but since this was about you, I felt I should retell it.”

“Of course.” Eva unconsciously leaned closer. “So...”

“Well, I couldn’t hear everything, but the gist is Clint told Jake to stay away from you.”

“Stay away from me?”

Jenny nodded eager as a golden retriever with a tennis ball in its mouth. “Yeah, and he was terrible to Jake. Said you were too good for him and that Jake would only hurt you. Said Jake should be unselfish for once in his life. Can you believe?”

Eva swallowed hard and nearly choked on a crumb of cookie. She went into a coughing fit, and Jenny thumped her a little too hard on the back. “Wait, wait, I’m okay.”

Patty sat a glass of water down in front of Eva and she gulped it, coughed once more and said, “Are you shitting me, Jenny?”

“I know. Clint sorta looked sexy being all protective like that. I’ve never seen him be so commanding. So is he into you, or something?”

Eva ignored that question. “What about Jake? How did he act?” Hope and anger simultaneously grew inside her. She knew something had to have happened. Knew it.

But why would Jake chuck all they’d had because of Clint? Was Jake playing at martyr?

No. He was a moron.

The man had let Clint apply his trademark tool of guilt to hammer the lid on anything Jake felt for Eva. That dumb-ass thought he was saving her from himself.

And Clint?

How dare he presume to know what she deserved or didn’t?

So flipping presumptuous of him to meddle in her love life. Of course she’d never told Jake his friend had suggested something more with her. Jake wouldn’t have known that Clint’s words were motivated by jealousy as much as his supposed concern. Like always, Clint had manipulated Jake.

“I gotta go, Jenny,” Eva said, pushing back from the table.

“But what about your coffee? You didn’t drink it.”

Eva stilled, pressing her hands onto the table. “Tell me about Jake afterward.”

“Oh, well, he didn’t stay. Matt sat down for a few minutes and chatted with him and then Jake, looking like he lost a puppy, got up and left. So is there something going on between you and Jake? Like romantic?”

Eva bit her lip. “Well, to be honest, I had hoped. We’d been flirting with the possibility we were made for each other, but then Saturday night he didn’t show up for the dinner we’d planned. He blew me off.”

Jenny smiled. “Yeah, I can see you two being right for one another. Jake’s that kind of guy, you know. He’s looking for something. Oh, sure, he’s stomped around this town, hooking up with women, talking a big game, but all that happened to him after that accident has just eaten away at him. People don’t see it, but I do. I guess sometimes the same kind of people recognize in others what they know lies in themselves. Jake’s been hurting for a long time, but maybe he’s been waiting on that door to crack so he could slip inside to you.”

Eva felt gobsmacked by Jenny’s observation. But as soon as her friend had uttered those thoughts, Eva was certain Jenny had nailed Jake...not in that way...but in his psyche. Jake had been masking his guilt and pain by donning a mask of sunny indifference.

And Clint had erased it as if it was a chalkboard. One swipe of guilt had taken away Jake’s chance for happiness.

Eva’s chance for happiness.

Eva grabbed Jenny’s hand. “Thank you for telling me what happened. I needed to know that.”

Jenny squeezed her hand. “I didn’t know you felt that way about Jake. But with that in mind, I think you have some work to do, friend.”

“And that’s why I don’t have time for coffee. I’ll see you later, and until I figure this out, don’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

Jenny pretended to zip her lips and then she picked up Eva’s remaining cookie. “Go get your happy, girl. I’m gonna finish this cookie before I go rock Dr. French’s world again. Making a man mewl like a kitten is powerful stuff.”

For the first time since yesterday, Eva laughed. Jenny had just given her hope. First, she was going to Clint’s to kick his ass seven ways to Sunday. Then, well, she’d have to pick up Charlie. But come Monday when she and Jake reported for their shift, Mr. Beauchamp was going to find out that letting everyone dictate who he is and how he feels was as stupid as jumping off a cliff with no parachute. No matter what, a person shouldn’t be defined by what others expect him or her to be. Jake expected to be unreliable because everyone told him he was.

God, men were stupid.

But maybe she was, too.

She could be grasping at straws in thinking that Jake wanted more...but then again she knew Jake. She’d been his friend and the woman who loved him for over three years.