“I didn’t expect you to just jump in and say yes.” His mouth turned up in a sweet smile she had never noticed he had. His teeth were even and white, not false, something else she hadn’t noticed about him. Seeing his good teeth reminded her he didn’t smoke or chew snoose, which was a plus.
“I know you’re a practical woman,” he went on. “I knew you’d have to think about things.”
“But Lanny, I can’t honestly say I love you. I mean, I like you a lot. You’re a wonderful, honest person. I’d trust you with my last dime and I admire you, but—”
“Rissy, me and my first wife, rest her soul, didn’t have half that much going for us.”
Marisa had never heard Lanny’s marriage was unhappy. She stared down at the mug of coffee from which she hadn’t even taken a drink. “I just don’t know, Lanny.”
His expression became more earnest, his deep brown eyes more intense. “You’re in a lot of trouble here, Rissy. I know for a fact Raylene couldn’t find much money to put back. You’re not gonna be able to sell all this stuff for much, either. If at all.”
Dammit, it was hard having him—or anyone—know that. That bastard reality had just slapped her again. Marisa couldn’t hold back her anguish. Tears sneaked down her cheeks. “I know,” she said, feeling a hitch in her throat.
Lanny stood up and came around the end of the lunch counter, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at her eyes. He placed the crisp white thing over her nose. “Blow,” he said, as if she were six years old.
She pushed his hand away and wiped her nose on the back of her wrist. “You’re right about one thing, Lanny. Mama and I are in deep trouble.”
His thick arms folded around her, he pulled her against his chest and began to rub her back. He felt warm and wide and secure. Even with her nose plugged by tears, she could smell his cologne, but couldn’t identify the fragrance.
“Shh-shh,” he murmured. “Don’t cry, now. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She felt his big hand petting her hair and the vibration of his deep voice in his chest. “I’d take care of you, Rissy. You’d never want for anything.”
Rissy. The name she had been called as a child. “Oh, Lanny, I appreciate it, but it’s crazy to even think about—”
“Rissy, I don’t want just anybody for a wife. I want somebody I know and care about. I think, in time, you could care about me a little, too, and you damn sure know me. I admit it’s not like in the storybooks, but what goes on in storybooks ain’t the way life is. Sometimes folks just have to forget all that and do the best they can with what’s in front of ’em.”
She stepped away. “Where’s that damn handkerchief?”
His eyes smiled as he handed it to her.
She wiped her nose. “You know what, Lanny? I’m not gonna just say no. I’m gonna think about it for a few days. I’m gonna honestly think about it.” A nervous titter burst out. “Like you say, I’m in trouble. I can’t afford not to think about it, right?”
His mouth tipped into a smile that matched the one in his eyes. “That’s good enough for me. Tell you the truth, it’s more’n I expected.”
“Okay then, that’s the deal. I’m gonna think about it.”
He nodded. Awkward moments passed while they stood there. Then his hands came up to her shoulders. “Could I kiss you? I mean, while you’re thinking about it, I guess we could say we’re a-courtin’.”
“Okay,” she said.
His mouth tasted of mint, sweet and sterile, and she had no trouble kissing him back. To her surprise, he was a good kisser. When he lifted his mouth from hers, she looked up at him and smiled. “How about that breakfast, cowboy?”
She cooked him breakfast—bacon, eggs and hash browns—and sat beside him at the lunch counter drinking coffee while he ate. He shared snippets of his deal with Terry, though he didn’t tell her the price Terry had paid him for the XO. “He told me I could have a house in his subdivision,” he said on a deep chuckle. “But I said, ‘no thanks’. I can’t see me living in a subdivision.”
“Where do you see yourself living, Lanny?”
“Colorado, maybe. In the mountains.” Another sweet smile came her way. “What do you think? About the mountains, I mean.”
She had never been to Colorado, but the idea of living in the mountains had some appeal. She had seen them in the far, far distance all of her growing-up years. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”
“They build those log houses up there. They got trees. Real pretty.”
“I’ve seen pictures. It sounds nice.”
She got another huge smile from him.
After breakfast, he said he had to get to Midland on business. She walked with him to the front door. He leaned down to kiss her good-bye and his glasses bumped her temple. He tried again and their noses bumped. He gave her a shy grin. “We’ll get better at it. It’s not the most important thing anyway.” His whole head turned red in a blush and he cast his eyes downward, toward the floor. “I mean, it’s important and I like it and everything, but there hasn’t been anybody since—”
“No, really, it’s okay, Lanny. I know what you mean.”
He nodded without looking at her. “I’m fifty-five, but I’m pretty sure I can still—well, never mind. We’ll work it out.”
****
If life gets any more bizarre, I can’t handle it
, Marisa thought.
She plunged into making crusts for pecan pies, her mind darting all over the place as she measured equal portions of lard and butter. Though lard made the best crust, few cooks used it these days. Too unhealthy. But to her way of thinking, pie was already unhealthy, so what difference did a little lard make?
The emotions churning inside her felt like a kaleidoscope,
like none of what was happening around her was real, the same disconnect she had experienced the day a neurologist in Midland sat down with her and told her the cold, hard truth about Mama.
Until that moment, Mama had been Wonder Woman.
As she draped the crust into four pie tins and began to crimp the edges, her mind finally stopped on this morning’s event.
Now she had kissed two millionaires in her life.
And one of them wanted a wife and companionship more than he wanted sex. And the other? Well, who could guess what he wanted?
More importantly, what did she want?
A marriage of convenience? Was that phrase even used these days?
After being a part of the singles scene for so long, when it came to men, she no longer expected fireworks and bells ringing. She had long ago given up on ever seeing that knight ride up on his white horse.
Men had used her badly over the years. Mike in Midland, who had lied to her about who he was; Eric in Arlington, who had taken her money; Woody, who had cheated on her. Of course, all of it was her own fault. Much of the time she felt sorry for men and their weaknesses, which opened the door for losers to take advantage of her.
What of Terry Ledger and the energy that passed between them? His bad-boy good looks and take-no-prisoners attitude touched a slutty chord within her, to be sure. Him, she didn’t feel sorry for. What he aroused was a little earthier than sympathy.
Forget it, her practical side told her. Sex with him might be fun and maybe wild, but there would be no such thing as a relationship. He would end up hurting her worse than Woody had.
Lanny, however, was a different kind of man. Solid as granite. She had never heard a bad word about him. He was gentle and kind. If anything, he was too kind. Gossip had it that the distance between him and his children was a result of his having given them everything and expected nothing in return.
He had to be intelligent—he had graduated from Texas Tech. Yet, a college education hadn’t changed him. He was still the old-fashioned cowboy he had always been. To talk to him or see him dressed in his Wranglers and the snap-button shirts he made no secret of buying at Walmart, one would never guess the immensity of his wealth.
He did wear expensive boots and hats, Marisa had always noticed. It was an odd thing about real cowboys. Most of them spent more on their boots and hats than on the rest of their clothing combined, including wristwatches. Lanny could afford a Rolex for each wrist, but he wore a Timex. “What difference does it make?” he said when she teased him about it once. “All it’s for is to tell the time of day.”
And now that he had sold the XO, he was a whole lot richer.
I’m fifty-five, but I’m pretty sure I can still—
His deep blush and stumbling words came back to her. Sex. Did everything in the whole damn world, sooner or later, come down to sex?
Fifty-five. Twenty-one years older than her, only eleven years younger than Mama. Marisa had never had sex with a fifty-five-year-old man. Though his not having been with a woman since before his wife’s death would be incredible to some, she had no trouble believing it. He was that loyal.
I’d take care of you and Raylene, get her some professional help. Or whatever she needs
Oh, yeah. He could pay for the best of care for Mama and never notice so much as a dent in his checkbook. She had been managing Mama’s care on a day-to-day basis, but hadn’t a clue how long that would last. She had always known in the back of her mind that the time would come when Mama would need full-time attention, 24/7. There, Marisa’s thought process stalled. How could she quit work and stay home with Mama? How could she pay for institutionalizing her? She doubted that even working two jobs would cover the cost.
As Mama used to say, a bird in the hand, et cetera, et cetera...
She thought about the coming weeks, the uncertain future and the triple-digit temperatures. Could she take Mama and live as Lanny Winegardner’s wife, in a house in the mountains of Colorado?
Sure she could.
Chapter 16
Two days later Marisa was still weighing the pros and cons of Lanny’s proposal when Tanya strode into the cafe, her striped hair pinned up in a bed-head do that could seriously tarnish her professional reputation. She plopped onto a stool at the lunch counter and slapped down a crushed pack of Virginia Slims, a BIC plastic lighter and handful of change. Marisa picked up the coffee carafe and poured the obviously upset hairdresser a mug of Cowboy Breakfast Blend.
On closer inspection, Marisa noticed Tanya’s mascara smudged in dark half-moons under her eyes, her nose and eyes red. Had she been crying? In the year Marisa had known her, she had never seen her cry.
“Did you know Lanny sold his ranch?” The voice came across quivery.
As far as Marisa was concerned, if Lanny wanted someone to know he had sold his ranch, he should be the one to announce it. Even if she hadn’t had that feeling, these days, Tanya was the last person in whom Marisa would confide. The woman had chosen to not tell she’d had sex with Woody, even if it had occurred years before Tanya knew Jake or Marisa either. Marisa shrugged as she returned the coffee carafe to its element. “I heard.”
“That dude, Ledger.”
When Marisa turned back, Tanya had lit a cigarette. She blew out a plume of smoke. Like steam, Marisa thought. The two be-ringed fingers that held the cigarette were trembling. Marisa leaned a hip against the back counter, crossing her arms under her breasts, prepared to listen to her neighbor rant.
Tanya reached down the counter and dragged over the bowl filled with packets of artificial sweeteners. In the low-necked knit shirt she wore, the slope of her breasts shifted with each arm movement and allowed the lizard tattoo to sneak its head in and out of the neckline. Marisa had always been curious to know just how Tanya had managed to have that tattoo applied so strategically.
The hairdresser’s lips pulled into a sneer. “He’s not gonna have a ranch. He’s gonna have a fucking town for old people.” Her teeth clenched as she tore open a pink packet of artificial sweetener and dumped it into her coffee, followed by a package of dry creamer. She stirred with vigor, splashing coffee over the rim, then slammed the spoon onto the counter. “I don’t know
what the hell he expects me
and Jake to do.
Jake doesn’t know how to do anything but cowboy.” She lifted the mug to her lips.
The dilemma the sale of the XO presented for Jake Shepherd and Lanny’s ranch hands hadn’t yet crossed Marisa’s radar, but now it blipped like a jumbo jet on final approach. Lanny’s cowboys kept to themselves, rarely came into Pecos Belle’s. If they needed a trip somewhere, they went to Odessa, where they could combine the acquisition of necessities with a visit to the honky-tonks. Jake was the only one of them with whom Marisa
was acquainted and she knew
him only because he
lived in the RV park and was married to Tanya.
Neither the XO cowboys nor Jake and Tanya had ever asked Marisa to fight one of their battles for them. But then, Jake wouldn’t. He was too proud. “If I know Jake, he’ll come up with something,” Marisa said. “Maybe he has a talent you don’t know about.”
“If he does, he’s kept it hidden. He’s a forty-five-year-old loser, Marisa. A high school dropout. Hell, he probably dropped out before that.” She drew another deep drag from her cigarette. “Shit. Whatever. I’m not looking for him to start a whole new career.”
Jake might not be Einstein, but as far as Marisa was concerned, he was a good person. From his point of view, even rattlesnakes had something good to contribute. She didn’t like hearing his wife bad-mouth him. “There’s other ranches besides the XO. He could—”