Sweetness in the Dark (3 page)

“We need to group up,” Paul yelled at the other two rafts in his party. This was their second day on the Middle Fork and at this rate they would be two weeks getting to the take-out. The other two rafts pulled into an eddy downstream and turned to see how much time they’d be waiting.

The day wound down and they had a few more miles to go before reaching their campground by Indian Creek. The Forest Service that managed this stretch of the Salmon River assigned camp spots and raft parties were responsible to be at their assigned place each evening.

Paul waited patiently. He didn’t mind the time sitting in the sun watching Amanda sunbathe. Amanda was the breath of fresh air that had swept into his life over the last seven months. Since his inviting her up to his apartment to discuss historical disease outbreaks, things had happened fast.

When he realized the first night that their talk had carried them into the early morning, Paul insisted that Amanda not drive home. He had fixed up his daughter’s bed for her and retired to his own room.

Paul had attended Amanda’s graduation party the next weekend after she received good news from her Master’s Thesis committee. That had solidified a lot of what both of them had been feeling. Their relationship took off from there.

A physical relationship followed whenever Paul’s children visited their mother. Strong feelings for each other soon followed, at least in Paul’s estimation.

But his ex-wife was a constant reminder of the ugliness of their divorce. The continued battles between them seemed to affect the children and he hoped this float trip would clear his soul of the wrath he often felt towards his ex.

Looking at Amanda helped clear out something. His feelings for her continued to grow and Amanda seemed excited about the float trip as her first chance to meet the family.

Paul had kept the two separate until he had a better feeling where things might lead. Amanda had made the right moves and things seemed serious. He knew he was taking a chance on having her meet his children, but Paul knew it had to happen sometime.

“Do you do this often?” Amanda asked.

“Do what often?” Paul asked.

“You know, float the river?”

“Oh yeah. We get up here to the Middle Fork every year. We make it onto the Snake River through Hell’s Canyon once in a while and we’ve been lucky to float the Selway almost every year. I’ve been floating Idaho rivers each summer for the last twenty-five years,” Paul said. And then he regretted it. He had paddles older than Amanda.
Don’t say stuff about your age, you idiot
, Paul thought.

At forty-two, the fifteen year age difference between him and Amanda bothered Paul. He knew younger women often went for older men because of the money, but he certainly didn’t have that kind of wealth. So he dwelled on why a younger woman would be interested in him. He was distracted from that thought when Amanda stood up and took off her life jacket.

“If we’re going to be sitting here for a while, I want to get sun all over.” Amanda said. She proceeded to get down to her very small bikini. Paul stared as she laid down on the aluminum storage box strapped to the raft frame that acted as her seat. “Could you put some sunscreen on my back?”

Paul reached for the mesh bag beside him that carried their sunscreen. Like everything else, it was lashed to the raft in case they overturned. He untied the bag, took out the bottle and squirted the contents onto Amanda’s back.

“Oh, it’s cold.”

Paul placed his hand on her warm back and started spreading the lotion around. She relaxed from the initial shock, although at ninety degrees outside, how the sunscreen could feel cool was beyond him.

“Could you get the back of my legs, too?” Amanda asked.

Paul finished her back and started on her legs. Long and athletic, they were already well tanned. She spread her legs as Paul worked the sunscreen up her thighs.

“Hi, Dad, keeping busy I see,” Matt said as he pulled his kayak into the eddy. He slid into a spot beside the raft and grabbed the side of the tube.

“Matt,” Paul stammered. Amanda stayed motionless as she relaxed in the sun. “We need to pick up the pace. We’re running out of sunlight in the canyon. The temperature will drop a bit when the sun goes behind the hill.”

“OK. Meredith and I have been surfing some great waves. We’ll pick it up.” Matt pushed off the raft, dug his paddle into the water and accelerated upstream to hit the eddy line. He leaned on his paddle and swung out into the current just in time to pick up his sister coming downstream. “Come on Meredith, that eddy is kind of busy.” Paul noticed Matt’s smile as he led Meredith down the river.

Paul hated this whole dating routine around his kids. He had avoided putting the two together until now. He started to regret his decision inviting Amanda along. But then Amanda picked herself up off her perch, stood up on the floor between the two cataract tubes and faced Paul. She slowly bent over and kissed him on the mouth. Paul forgot all about the kids as he returned the kiss.

“Almost got caught there, didn’t you? We could hang back and let everyone else get ahead, you never know what might happen out here in the wilderness,” Amanda said. The invitation was very explicit in her voice. Her eyes radiated softness and desire at Paul.

“I understand the offer, but can you save that thought? We are running behind. Maybe tomorrow we can be the laggards,” he said, ruining the mood.

Amanda smiled as she put on her life jacket. She made a deliberate move to struggle with the zipper as she reached her out thrusted breasts. Slowly, she pulled the zipper up and over them, hiding them from Paul’s view.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” Amanda said.

“Hey, I know what I’m missing. We’ll have private time tonight.” He pulled on the oars and got the raft out into the current. They quickly caught up with the others.

* * *

Around the campfire that night, Paul tried to focus on the entire party and not just Amanda. She was nestled beside him with her North Face polar fleece on to shield her from the cool up canyon breeze. Paul was still in his river shorts but had thrown on an ISE sweatshirt for warmth.

As the night went on, the others drifted off to their tents to sleep. Soon it was only Paul and his son Matt stoking the dying campfire. Amanda had announced she was cold and had headed to the tent an hour ago.

“Dad, you don’t need to hang here with me. I think someone’s waiting for you,” Matt said.

Paul was taken aback by the bluntness of his sixteen-year old son. “It’s OK. I’ve missed you while your mother and I were divorcing. That took a lot of time and energy away from you and your sister.”

“Look, Dad. You put up with Mom for too long on account of us. I know what she put you through. You deserve some quality time with someone special. Amanda seems to really like you. Go for it,” Matt said.

As he said it, a coyote howled somewhere on the ridge above their camp. Then a second and a third answered the call. Paul and Matt both looked up at the sound. As they were listening to the nightly chorus, a bright light streaked across the sky.

“What was that?” Matt asked.

Before Paul could even answer, another bigger and bolder green light splashed into view. The coyotes went crazy. The howling increased as the light grew brighter. Soon the whole heavens were alive with dancing green and yellow light.

Paul called everyone to come out and witness the spectacle. Slowly, the rest of the raft party crawled out of their tents to see the light show.

Amanda rubbed her eyes as she sat down on the sand next to Paul. “What’s going on?” She asked

“Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights, like you’ve never seen them,” he answered.

“I thought they were up in Alaska. What are they doing down here in Idaho?”

“I don’t know, but they sure are spectacular. Too bad we’re in this canyon and can only see about a third of the sky. I’m sure if we were up on top of the ridge, they would be stunning.”

They sat transfixed by the light show. Finally, as the night became late, they all began to drag themselves back to their tents. There was another 20 miles of river to run tomorrow, and everyone needed to be rested.

As Paul started to get up, Amanda held him in place. Matt headed off and soon the two were alone.

Paul turned to Amanda to ask why she had held him. The answer came quickly. She took his hand and with a blanket under her arm, led him down the long sandy beach to the secluded far end. Away from everyone else, she placed the blanket on the sand and turned to kiss him.

“With all this noise and lights, I sure couldn’t sleep. I think we need to enjoy the night,” Amanda said. “And I sure don’t want to go to Alaska to try. Too cold.”

* * *

The morning found him and Amanda fast asleep wrapped in the blanket. Luckily, the sun hit their end of the beach first and the heat woke Paul with a start. He sat up realizing where they were.

He quickly woke Amanda who complained at the interruption. She also suddenly realized where they were. They quickly slid into the river to wash up and raced back up the beach.

Dressing quickly, they noticed no one else was up yet. As Paul got the propane stove lit and got water on for coffee, Amanda stood sheepishly beside him as they both smiled at each other.

As the others rolled out of their tents, Paul and Amanda put breakfast on. The smell got the laggards up and going. While Paul began serving up the food, he noticed that Matt hadn’t risen yet. He walked over to his son’s rain fly and saw that his sleeping bag was empty. He started to look around when he noticed a figure climbing over the rocks on the end of the beach he and Amanda had slept on.

He recognized his son and the fishing pole he carried. In his other hand were fresh trout Matt had caught. As he walked up the beach, Matt waved at his Dad.

“Can I throw these on for breakfast?” Matt asked. He pointed at three nice fish on his line.

“Sure. I’ve doled up breakfast for everyone. I’ll get the oil out of the box,” Paul answered.

Matt took the cast iron skillet and poured in oil. Turning up the heat, he rolled the fish in some flour and dropped them in the pan. The fish sizzled as the smell wafted over the camp.

“So, Matt, out early?” Paul asked.

“Early bird catches the worm,” Matt replied. His son looked at him with a satisfied look. “It was good fishing out there, Dad. I missed you but I didn’t want to wake you.” He smiled at his dad.

Paul turned red at the knowledge that his son had walked by as he slept on the beach with Amanda.

Amanda looked at Paul. “Paul, we need to get you lathered up with sunscreen today. You got too much sun yesterday.”

He turned even redder as everyone turned to look at his red face.

“OK, let’s get things packed up. Another day on the river. Today we hit Middle Fork Lodge. A chance for cold beer for anyone so inclined,” Paul said as he cleaned up from breakfast. The rafts were soon packed and out in the current. As Paul pulled on the oars, he realized that his arms felt like lead. The lack of sleep suddenly hit him as he tried to maneuver for the small riffle they had to negotiate. Another full day of white water rapids lay ahead and he was already dead.

This is the reality of older men with younger women
, he thought. Paul knew he had to hold it together. Amanda sat and looked just as energetic as ever.

“Today might be a good day for you to learn how to row,” Paul offered as they passed a small rapid.

“Tired, huh? Those lights never stopped. I don’t know how you even got up this morning,” Amanda said.

Paul realized Amanda knew and didn’t seem to mind, but letting her row some today still seemed like a good idea. He moved off his spot and Amanda sat down. Paul stood up behind her and started to teach her how to read the water.

She immediately pulled on the oars and lined the raft perfectly for the small rapid ahead. With two quick strokes she pulled away from the rock to the right. Amanda then had the raft in position for the small ledge drop.

“Sure, now you tell me you know how to row.”

“My family is from Idaho, also. I’ve been running rivers with my dad since I was twelve,” Amanda said. “Why don’t you lie down on the box and get some rest? I’ll wake you if something big comes along.”

Paul laughed and rubbed his hand through Amanda’s brunette hair to mess it up. There was still a lot they had to learn about each other. As he lay down to nap, he wondered why she was so interested in him. Whatever the reason, he would enjoy it as long as it lasted.

Paul woke with a start when Amanda touched his arm. The other rafts were pulling into Middle Fork Lodge and tying up. Amanda pulled for shore to join them. Matt came up behind in his kayak.

“Finally get some sleep Dad?” Matt asked. The smile on his face said it all.

“Your dad couldn’t sleep very well last night with all the commotion going on,” Amanda answered.

“Yeah. I had a hard time falling asleep myself,” Matt said.

Paul looked at his son.
What did he mean by that?
he thought.
This was all a mistake
. He looked at his son who only smiled in response.

“Hey, Paul,” one of his professors from ISE said. “You said they’d have cold beer here. They said no such luck.” He and his wife were avid rafters and they had spent many days floating together.

“Well, their fridge must be out,” Paul said. “I’ll check.” Paul climbed out of the raft and tied up to the post provided. He walked up into the small river front store that the Lodge had established. Although expensive, because of the air plane ride into the lodge, rafters could usually purchase items like ice and cold beer.

“So no cold beer today?” Paul asked. “Can we buy some ice then?”

“Nope. All our fridges went down last night. About the same time that those Northern Lights kicked up. In fact, our short wave radio is out and our generator went down also,” the store clerk said.

“Well, I’ll be,” Paul’s fellow professor said.

But Paul didn’t saying anything. He was thinking. He recalled his long talks with his brother, John Ewing, professor of astrophysics at the University of Oregon.