Swift (27 page)

“Okay, if you’re up for it. But it’s covered in dust down there.”

“Sure.” I tried not to look too anxious as I walked toward the back of the library. It was such a relief knowing that I was not going to have to deal with anyone face to face.

Ms. Donaldson was not kidding when she said it was dusty down there. But she had left out the part about it being dark and putrid-smelling. I stuck my nose in the corner of my right elbow and used my other hand to sift through the first box. It was full of magazines and newspapers. All of them were about Marblehead and dated back from the early to mid 1900s.

Then I thought of something. Maybe one of the magazines or newspapers would give me a sign that the Harpers had made it back in time. If it would just mention one of their names, then I would know they had made it back safely. I began to dig, desperate to find anything that alluded to the fact that they had survived after crossing back in time. But as I reached the bottom of the box, I had found nothing of the sort.

What was I expecting to find? Was I really just hoping to find something to prove that they were alive and well? Would that really make me feel any better, knowing that they were there and I was here, separated by over a hundred years of time? Giving up, I pushed the box out of the way and sat back against the wall.

Then something drew my eyes downward. It was an old newspaper, lying on the ground beneath a box. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew that it held some meaning without even reading it. I reached down and pulled the paper close to my face in order to see it better. Everything in my world stopped. A tingling sensation spread throughout my body like wildfire. Then I began to shake, and I could do nothing to halt it. My breathing became rapid, and I was overcome by the yearning to get away as fast as possible.

I ran up the basement stairs, tripping over the first few, but finally making it back to the main floor. From the corner of my eye, I could see Ms. Donaldson, staring at me with her mouth hanging open. I would probably have stared too if I had seen me running like a crazy person toward the front door.

“Meredith, is everything all right?” I heard her shout to me just as I reached the double glass doors.

I didn’t answer. I pushed open the doors and continued running, not even bothering to look before I crossed streets or to stop when I saw people staring and beginning to whisper. I just ran, a part of me wanting to believe that if I just pretended to not have seen what I had, then it wouldn’t be true.

I didn’t stop running until I reached the front lawn of my house. My legs ached all over. My lungs burned. My heart pounded against my chest. I bent over and gasped for air, wanting the words I had just read to disappear, even though the words were engraved into my head forever:

Harper Family Perishes in Church Fire

Services will be held at Waterside Cemetery – July 1, 1905

The article said the fire had happened June 27, 1905. That was it; I had lost them forever. I had lost Blake forever. All the people who I had come to love were all going to be killed. My body went limp, and I fell to the ground.

“Meredith, Meredith? Sweetie? Wake up. Are you okay? What happened?” When I came to, Jack’s frantic face was staring down at me. He was shaking me and calling out my name. “Meredith, Meredith!”

I couldn’t concentrate, and I found it difficult to speak. “I-I must have passed out.”

With Jack’s help, I pulled myself up into a standing position. “Sweetie, you are not taking care of yourself. I know Blake leaving was hard, but—”

“Please, stop right there.” I breathed. He had no idea what he was saying and how much those words hurt. Just the hearing his name just then was too much.

“Ms. Donaldson called the house and said you ran out of the library in a hurry. She wanted to make sure you were all right. Are you—all right?” he asked, his eyes as wide as silver dollars.

“I’m fine,” I said just above a whisper. “I just ran home too hard. I was in the basement at the library and—I started to feel sick.” I knew without even looking at his face that he didn’t believe a word I had just said. But it didn’t matter now. Nothing mattered.

Jack helped me to my room and sat me on the bed. “Please, get some rest. Your aunt just left for work, and she is going to flip out when she hears that I found you passed out in the front yard.”

“Please don’t tell her. She will just worry more than she already does.” But I could tell there was no changing his mind.

“Just try and get some rest. We can talk about it later,” he said as he shut the door behind him.

I walked toward the window and pushed it open, allowing some fresh air in. I melted toward the ground and began to search my brain, trying to think of something I could do. Supposedly, I was this all-powerful witch that could bring people back from the dead. There had to be a way for me to prevent them from perishing in the fire. All I had to do was somehow get a message to them. I leaned my head back against the wall, trying to calm down so I could think more clearly.

No, no, no …
Please
don’t let that be Aunt Rose’s car pulling up, I thought when I heard the noise of an engine outside. As I glanced down to the driveway, I saw her getting out of the Grand Cherokee. Jack must have called her. Leaving the window open, I leaped toward the mirror. I shuddered when I realized what a complete and utter mess I was. Hearing her footsteps coming up the stairs already, I dove toward the bed and laid down.

“Meredith.” I jumped at the sound of the voice coming from the other side of my door.

“Come in,” I mumbled.

She opened the door just a crack at first, but then swung it all the way open. She was wearing a worried look on her face. “Oh, Meredith. Jack called and told me what happened.”

I sighed. “I told him not to. I knew you would just worry.”

“Of course I am going to worry about you. You have been a completely different person the last couple days. Is there something that happened when we were out of town?” she asked.

I swallowed hard. “No, nothing out of the ordinary.”

She exhaled loudly and sat down beside me on the bed. “If there is anything you want to talk about, please know that I am here for you. I want you to come to me if you are hurt, angry, or confused about something.”

I sat there, contemplating telling her everything, imagining feeling the weight lifting off my shoulders. But I couldn’t do it. “I’m fine, really. I just passed out … no big deal.” It was tough looking into her eyes and telling her that everything was all right when in reality I was having the toughest time in my life.

“No big deal? Listen to yourself, Meredith. Have you taken a look at yourself? You are a mess.” She took in a deep breath. “But if you are not ready to talk to me, I will just have to accept that. Just please know that whatever it is you are feeling at this moment, it will change. It will get better.”

“I know.” I pressed my quivering lips together, fighting back the tears, knowing that it would not get better, knowing that it was only going to get worse, way worse.

“By the way, Jack told Ms. Donaldson that you are sick and at home resting. But I think you owe her more of an explanation, when you’re up to it.”

I nodded.

“Would you like me to bring you up something to eat? It may help you feel better.”

“Sounds great.” I forced a smile.

She patted my arm and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

I am a horrible person, I told myself. Look at what I am putting them through! They don’t deserve this. If I could just find a way to warn the Harpers and let them know to avoid the church on June 27 ...

Then it came to me. The spell books Abby had left for me, maybe they would tell me how to get them a message or something. It was a long shot, but worth a try.

I jumped off my bed and began to search my room for my backpack. When I had left the Harpers’ yesterday, I had put the letters from Abby and Blake and both spell books in there. I threw the covers off my bed, checked in my closet, and under my desk. Then I gasped, realizing the last place I had seen my backpack: It was sitting next to my purse under the counter at the library.

Dammit, I thought. Somehow I have to get out of the house and get to it. But how can I? Not right now. Aunt Rose will definitely be on guard for the rest of the day. There was no way she would let me out of here without demanding to go with me.

As I sat on my bed, I formulated my plan. Just then, there was another knock at my door.

“Come in.”

Aunt Rose entered with a tray full of food. Her eyes were red, and it looked as though she had been crying. She set the tray on my desk and made her way over to my bed. I felt horrible that I was causing her all this pain.

“Aunt Rose, I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting and—”

But she cut me off by putting her hand up. “Please, Meredith.” She fought back her tears. “Jack was cleaning out the closet to make room for his stuff and … and … he found something.”

She was still talking nonsense as she pulled out a folded-up piece of pink paper. My heart stopped as my mind flashed back to my father waking me up in the middle of the night. My sister and I had met in the hallway and then walked down the stairs to see my mother scribbling a note on her favorite pink stationary before she hid the note in the spice cabinet.

“My mother …” I wanted to say something more, but nothing came out.

“Yes, your mother left this note for me.” She began to unfold the crumpled piece of paper that my mom had left all those years ago.

She handed it over to me, and I began to scan the page.

Rose,

Thank you for your friendship over the years. Thank you for always being there for me and for the girls. I’m sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye, but there is one last favor I have to ask of you. Please take care of the girls and keep them safe. Again, I’m sorry.

     Love,

     Emma

I sat there, unable to speak. If I had read those words a few weeks ago, they would have just added to my confusion as to what was going on that night. But since I had found out who I really was and what my parents were possibly running from, it made all the sense in the world. My mother and father had not expected to live through whatever or whoever they were running from that night. My mother had made plans for who was going to take care of us before we even left the house. Folding the letter back up, I placed it down on the bed.

Aunt Rose closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from coming again. “Meredith, I know that things have been a little crazy lately. But I just want you to be happy. That is all your mom would have wanted, too. So ... do whatever you need to do in order to figure out what that is. You are more than welcome to stay here as long as you want. It is your house, after all.” She took in a deep breath and looked me in the eyes.

It was painful for me to see the hurt and despair in her face, like she had failed me, failed my mother whose last request was to keep me safe. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted to tell her it was all okay and that she had nothing to be sorry for, but the words never made it out.

Aunt Rose got up and began to walk toward my door.

I couldn’t let her leave. Not without saying something. “Aunt Rose,” I breathed out.

She stopped and turned toward me.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” I smiled, hoping that she could understand what I was trying to say.

She smiled and walked out.

When she left, I reread the letter.
Take care of the girls
, it said. Then I wondered, was Charlotte supposed to survive, too? Whatever my mom and dad had known was coming for us, had they expected to die and hoped both my sister and I would survive? I wished I could remember more of that night. If there was only a way to see what had happened to cause my dad to swerve the way the police had said he did. He must have seen something.

After finishing the food Aunt Rose had brought up for me, I patiently waited until they went to sleep before sneaking out. Before I left, I contemplated leaving a note, just in case she woke up and found me missing. But I decided against it, because what would I have said?
But there was one person who I felt I owed a phone call to …
a phone call that was long overdue.

“Roger?” 

“Mer, hey what’s up?”

I smiled. It seemed as though I had woken him up.

“I just wanted to say hi and see how things were going,” I said.

“Things are good … you know girls, sun, and summer. Can’t get much better than that. I do miss you though. When are you going to come see me?”

My stomach turned and I couldn’t believe it. He really had no memory of me being there last week.

“Soon. I promise.” I sighed. “Get some sleep and I’ll call you in a few days.”

I hung up the phone and fought off the tears. There was no time for emotions right now. Time was running out and I had to get to the library for the spell books.

Chapter Twenty-Two

There were no lights on in the library, but a faint glow was coming from Ms. Donaldson’s apartment upstairs. I pulled out the key from my pants pocket, thankful that I hadn’t kept it in my backpack. I inserted the key into the lock and gently turned it to the right. It made a popping noise that I had never heard before that night. But I guess there had not been any other time where I had actually made a point to listen. I opened the door just enough for me to slip through, hoping to avoid the screeching noise when it closed. I crept toward the counter, my heart pounding, my mouth dry, and my body shaking.