Switch Hitter (17 page)

Bent sat up, rubbing both palms over his face. Damn, he needed a shave.

“Good morning,” nurse flowers said.

“Mornin’.” He glanced at the man in the bed. He appeared to be sleeping, which was a good thing. Every couple of hours through the night someone had come in, woken him, asked stupid questions, looked at his pupils then told him to go back to sleep. At least he knew Bent was there. They hadn’t exchanged more than a few words all night long. They would talk later.

“Mr. Flannery’s sister is here. She’s in the waiting room talking with Dr. Sanderson.”

He took the hint. “I guess I should go talk to her, too.”

“I’ll look out for him while you’re gone. He’s doing well. No signs of complications from the concussion. We should be able to give him something a little stronger for the pain in a few hours.”

“I’m glad.” He covered Sean’s hand with his, reassuring himself the man he loved was alive. “If he wakes up, tell him I’ll be right back?”

“I will. There’s coffee at the nurses station. Grab a cup if you want. It’s better than the stuff in the waiting room.”

“Thanks.” He smiled at her kindness. “I appreciate it.”

Coffee in hand, he stepped into the waiting room. Dr. Sanderson, freshly shaved and wearing a lab coat over crisp chinos with a blue shirt, was talking to a dark haired woman Bent assumed was Sean’s younger sister, Siobhan.

“Good Morning,” he said, approaching. The woman turned. He knew he’d been correct. She was a full head shorter, but the sibling resemblance was striking. She was a female version of her brother, which meant she was beautiful. “I’m Bentley Randolph.”

She shook the hand he offered. “Siobhan Flannery. Dr. Sanderson said you haven’t left my brother’s side. I appreciate you sticking by him.” Her gaze seemed too astute then he remembered she knew about Sean’s sexual orientation.

“I couldn’t leave him alone, but since you’re here….”

“Dr. Sanderson assures me my brother is going to be fine, eventually, but it’s going to be a long road for him, especially with the hip injury.” She didn’t correct Bent’s assumption she would want him to leave, nor did she acknowledge it. He took it as a good sign.

“I figured as much.” He turned to the doctor. “This will end his career, won’t it?”

“It could. It’s a bad break—worse than the one he suffered a few years ago. As I was telling Ms. Flannery, the hip socket and pelvic bones are shattered. He could come back, but it’s going to take time.”

He wondered if they’d told Sean or if he remained unaware his life had irrevocably changed when he caught that pop up.

“At least he caught the ball,” he said.

Siobhan smiled. “He did. He’ll be glad to hear, if he doesn’t remember.”

“He isn’t going to want to hear the rest,” Bentley said.

“No, he’s not. He loves baseball. Not playing is going to take some adjusting if it comes to that.”

“Let’s just focus on getting him through the surgery for now,” Dr. Sanderson interjected. “We can deal with his post-baseball life once he’s back on his feet. He may play again. It’s possible, if he wants it bad enough.”

“Good to know,” Bentley said. “I won’t mention it then, unless he brings it up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Siobhan said, “but he’s going to bring it up.”

“We’ll deal with it when we have to. From the way it sounds, he doesn’t have much choice but to have the surgery, right?” He turned to Dr. Sanderson for his answer.

“No. Not if he wants to walk.”

A chill ran down Bent’s spine at the realization of how serious the man’s injuries were. “Then that’s our primary goal.”

Having done all he could for the time being, Dr. Sanderson excused himself to see to his patients from his private practice.

“You should go home, get some rest,” Siobhan said.

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“I’ll be here. If he wonders where you are, I’ll tell him I sent you home but you’ll be back. You will be back, won’t you?”

“I will.” He shifted his feet, looking around the empty waiting room. “Look, you should know….”

“No need to explain. I can tell. He means a great deal to you, doesn’t he?”

“I love him.” He was surprised at how easily he spoke the truth to a complete stranger, even more surprised she didn’t appear in the least taken aback by his declaration.

“Then go home, get some rest. He’ll still be here when you get back.” She smiled at her joke. Bent couldn’t help it, he smiled back.

“It’s not like he’s going to walk out of here, is it?”

“No. He may try to wheel himself out, but I’ll stop him before he gets far.”

“Come on,” he said, leading the way. “I’ll show you where his room is, then I’ll go get cleaned up. I need to make some arrangements with the team, then I’ll be back.”

Chapter Sixteen

Things hurt he didn’t even know he had. How was that possible? Even the slightest movement brought on more pain, enough sometimes he thought he might pass out. But nothing hurt worse than seeing Bentley hovering over him, suffering right along with him.

Damn him.

The man had been there every time he opened his eyes—except the last time. Siobhan had sent him away. Thank God. He could always count on his sister to have his back. Not so for the rest of his family, but Siobhan loved him the way family should—unconditionally.

They’d given him some better pain meds, allowing him to sleep for longer stretches of time. Though he was getting more rest, waking up took more effort.

Lying still, he listened. A game show, it sounded like, was on the television, the volume down low. Off to his left, the steady clicking of computer keys.
Siobhan.
Always working, though she swore the romance books she wrote weren’t work at all. It sure as hell looked like work to him, but then again, he did good to compose an email.

He risked turning his head, found the neck pain to be bearable, and watched her type. She looked so serious, her brows knit, her lips drawn into a tight line. “What kind of scene are you writing?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice. He smiled as she caught her laptop before it slid to the floor. “Don’t do that!” she scolded, setting the computer aside then coming to stand over him. “You almost gave me heart failure.” Her words chastised, but her smile said she wasn’t going to hold a grudge. She never did where he was concerned.

“Hey, sis. What are you writing?”

“Oh. Nothing much. My hero is being an ass to my heroine. I don’t like him very much right now.”

“I could tell. You were scowling at the screen.”

“Maybe I was. I get carried away sometimes.”

He chuckled. The small action rocked his injured ribs, making his entire torso ache. “Ow,” he groaned.

“Are you okay? Do you need the nurse?”

“Hell, no! I just have to remember nothing is funny, and I’ll be fine. No laughing.”

“No laughing,” she agreed. “Seriously, can I get you anything?”

“No. Just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck, and about half of what’s been said to me since I got here, I haven’t heard.”

She told him as much as she knew about his injuries, which amounted to what Dr. Sanderson had told her when she arrived. Everything she said confirmed what he thought he knew.

“I was hoping I was having nightmares, but I wasn’t. My career is over. I won’t be coming back from this.”

“You don’t know that, Sean. It’s too soon to tell. Bentley said you would be out for a while, maybe most of next season, but he thinks you’ll be back.”

He closed his eyes against a different kind of pain. There weren’t enough drugs in the world to ease his heartache where Bent was concerned. While they had him on the operating table, perhaps they could sew up the rip in his heart, too. He opened his eyes and looked at his sister, wanting her to hear him. She had to understand. “Don’t listen to him. As a matter of fact, don’t let him back in my room. I don’t want him here.”

He’d stunned her. Clearly, Bentley led her to believe they were close. He hated to burst her happily ever after bubble, but there was no other way.

“But…he loves you.”

“He thinks he loves me. Did he tell you he has a fiancée? A female fiancée?”

“No. No, he didn’t.” She contemplated the news for a second. “But…why?”

“I know all the questions you want to ask, but I don’t have any of the answers. Look, we had a thing…for a while. He had a chance to man up, to choose me, but he didn’t. I told him we were through…what day is it?”

“Tuesday.”

God, he’d lost an entire day somewhere. “I told him on Sunday, before the game. He’s feeling guilty or something. I don’t know. I don’t care. I just don’t want him around. If he comes back, send him away, okay?”

He could tell she wasn’t convinced he was telling the truth, but she nodded. “Okay. I’ll do my best, but I got the impression he planned to be with you through everything.”

“Don’t go getting all sappy on me. You don’t know the half of it, and I’m not going to tell you. Just trust me, he might come back, but then again, he might not. He’s scared to death of his feelings. Once he gets home and his fiancée coaxes him back into bed, he might stay there.”

“But…he told me he loves you.”

“I’m sure he meant it, but he has another life, Siobhan—a safe one. One that doesn’t require him to risk anything. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster with him for years. I gave up. This—” He waved his hand to indicate his injured state. “—doesn’t change anything, except maybe to make me more certain breaking it off was the right thing to do. It’s going to take every ounce of strength I can muster to get back on my feet. I can’t waste any of it on a man who can’t make up his mind what he wants.”

“You’re sure.”

“I am. So, please. If he comes back, send him away.” The physical pain combined with the strain of telling his sister about his sorry love life took its toll. Closing his eyes, he tried to relax, but the pain was taking hold again, smothering him. “The surgery is tomorrow?”

“Bright and early.”

“You’ll be here?”

“I’ll be here as long as you need me. My work is portable. Where are you staying? Did you rent a house?”

“Not yet.” He named the motel he’d moved into then told her where to find the key to his room. “Doesn’t look like I’ll be going back there anytime soon. Can you get my stuff for me?”

“I’ll take care of it,” she promised.

He was drifting off to sleep again. At least he didn’t hurt when he was sleeping.

* * *

Bentley dropped his keys on the kitchen island then headed straight for the fridge. Who the fuck cared if it wasn’t yet noon? He needed a beer in the worst way. His body ached from sleeping in a chair all night, and the antiseptic hospital smell had given him a bitch of a sinus headache. But he was going back—just as soon as he showered.

He pulled a bottle from the refrigerator then pressed it to his forehead for a few seconds before removing the cap and taking a long swig.

“Good morning.”

He almost choked on the beer. “Christ, Ashley! You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to. I heard you come in.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her head between his shoulder blades. It felt good to be held. “How’s Sean?”

“Hurting. It’s bad, Ashley, really bad. There’s a strong likelihood he won’t ever play again.”

She tightened her arms around him for a moment. “I’m sorry. Does he know?”

“I think so. I don’t know. Maybe.” Had anyone told Sean? “I think the orthopedic surgeon told him, but he’s been in a lot of pain. They didn’t want to give him the good meds because of his concussion, but this morning they did another CT scan. The doctor said it was looking much better, so they gave him something stronger. He was asleep when I left.”

Turning, he took her in his arms and held her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I’ve got to go back.”

She nodded. “I understand. He needs you.”

“No. I’m sure he doesn’t, but I want to be there for him. I owe him as much.”

“Why would you think you owe him anything?”

The scene in the bowels of the stadium right before the game came back to him. Maybe if he had left Sean alone—hadn’t cornered him. Maybe. “We had an argument before the game. He was pissed. Hurt. I feel like I pushed him over the railing, in a way.”

“You didn’t, and you know it. It was an accident. He’s not the first player to fall into the dugout.”

“I know, but I couldn’t concentrate on the game, so I’d bet he was distracted, too. If I’d waited until after the game….”

Straightening, she looked up at him. “What happened? I thought it was over between ya’ll.”

He hated the worry in her eyes. Seems he was doomed to hurt those he loved. “It was over. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wanted to find out why he left without a word. Why he wasn’t answering my calls. Why he was avoiding me.”

“Did he tell you?”

He looked away. “Yeah, he did.” Everything appeared so peaceful in the backyard. The grass sparkled with water droplets not yet evaporated following the morning’s automatic watering. Beyond the yard, the pool shimmered as tiny waves spanned out from the circulating pump. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Why the fuck can’t you be ordinary?

He’d given up searching for the answer to that particular question. There wasn’t one.

She slipped her hand in his, tugging him toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go in the den.” When they were settled side-by-side on the sofa, her fingers were still entwined with his. “Okay. Tell me what he said. Why did he leave here?”

He shook his head. “You don’t really want to hear this.”

“Yes, I do. You’ve been miserable since he left. I want to know why he hurt you the way he did.”

Her hand felt good in his, soft yet strong. He didn’t want to hurt her, but she deserved the truth. “He said I didn’t stand up for us—him and me. He said he saw the look of disgust on your face when he kissed me. He said I’d made my choice when I didn’t invite him to stay—to be with us—you and me. He knew I made love to you afterward, then he asked me if….”

“If what?”

“If I thought of him while I was with you.”

She was still for a long time. “Did you think about Sean when you were with me?”

“I let him think I didn’t.”

“You lied to him.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Ashley. When I’m with you I think about being with Sean, then when I’m with him I think about being with you.”

“Did you want to ask him to stay? Did you want to make love to both of us?”

“Yeah, I did. But I saw the look on your face, too. You weren’t ready for it. Maybe Sean was right. Maybe you won’t ever be ready for it. He was right to leave.”

“What happened afterward? Did he say anything else?”

“No. He said we were through. I’d made my choice, and he’d made his. His meaning was clear. He doesn’t want to see me again.”

“But you rode in the ambulance with him.”

“He didn’t have much choice in the decision. He was unconscious.” He paused, seeing a replay of the accident in his mind. “I never want to feel that helpless again. I was scared out of my mind. I thought he was dead when I saw him lying there. All I could think was, he thought I didn’t love him enough to fight for him.

“Everything he said to me before the game was true, and I hated myself for it. I didn’t give the three of us a chance. I didn’t give you a chance to get to know him. I know you talked a couple of times, but you don’t really know him. I guess the kiss was a test—for us. We both flunked.

“You know, if he’d sat up in the dugout, I would have been so relieved, I would have kissed him in front of everybody. I don’t care who was watching. I swear I would have done it.”

“I’m sorry. I admit I was shocked. I suppose it showed on my face, but shock wasn’t all I felt. It took me a few minutes to get past seeing you kiss a man, but once the initial shock wore off, other feelings began to surface. I didn’t tell you what I was thinking. Maybe if I had, you could have stopped him from leaving.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That kiss was hot, Bentley. Seriously hot. It’s all I could think about when we were in bed together. You know how you tried to explain to me about it being different between two guys? I couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t fathom what you were talking about, but then ya’ll were kissing, and I saw it. I
saw
it. It scared the shit out of me, but yeah, I saw what you meant. There’s some serious chemistry between the two of you.”

“It didn’t turn you off?”

“Oh, hell no! I’m sorry. If I’d said something….”

He shook his head. “No. You weren’t ready. Sean was right about everything. Neither one of us was ready—except him. I hurt him, made him feel like he was on the outside looking in.”

“The kid looking in the candy store window with no money in his pockets.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No. They kept waking him up all through the night—making sure he was okay—the concussion…he knows I was there.”

“You need to talk to him. Tell him the things you’ve told me.”

“I will. He needs to get past the surgery first, though. For now, I just want him to know I’m there for him.”

“When he gets better…I think I’m ready, Bentley. I’ve been thinking about it, the three of us together. I want to do it. Maybe if you tell him that first….”

“Thanks.” Their hands were still clasped, resting on his thigh. He brought his free hand up to cup her cheek. “I love you. I always knew you were an incredible woman.” He brushed his lips across hers. “I don’t deserve you.”