Sworn (12 page)

She was silent.

“Do you believe in destiny?” Benji asked.

It was another question Rachel hadn’t thought of before. She was impressed by these questions, which really made her think deep, deeper than she’d ever thought before.

“Yes, I believe that we have a destiny,” she replied, “and that we just have to believe in ourselves.”

As the ferris wheel began to rise, the cool air breezed through her hair. Rachel looked around at the beautiful view. She could see forever. She felt like she was on top of the world.

Rachel waited as Benji looked into her eyes. The bright blue of his eyes was piercing. She felt as if she could see his soul.

Benji looked down and then said, “Would you ever be with someone who is different than you?”

“What do you mean?”

Benji looked back at Rachel and touched her waist. She could feel his cold hand through her skirt.

“You’re cold,” she said.

Benji quickly took his hand away and put it into his pocket.

She wished she hadn’t said anything. She didn’t mean to push him away, and was internally beating herself up for saying anything. She wished he’d put his hand back and kiss her.

All of a sudden, the ferris wheel stopped. Rachel and Benji were at the very top. Rachel leaned over the edge and looked down at the ground below. Everything looked so small from this high up.

Rachel heard a snap and she suddenly jolted forward, as their car shook and swayed. She reached out and grabbed the metal bar to steady herself. Benji stood and looked up at the bolt that was holding their car in place. It was slowly sliding, and about to fall off.

 “Oh my god, oh my god, we’re going to die!” Rachel screamed.

“Stay calm,” Benji said, looking deep into Rachel’s eyes.

“HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE US!” Rachel started wailing, and a crowd of screaming onlookers gathered below.

Screams rose up from below, as horrified bystanders watched and pointed.

“Benji, quick, we have to do something!” Rachel screamed.

Rachel felt another jolt, as the car rocked again—and then suddenly fell about a foot.

Benji reached up and held onto a metal frame, outside of their car.

Rachel suddenly heard a SNAP, and the car began to fall.

She heard shrieks from below.

Suddenly, the car fell out from under her, and Rachel felt herself falling through the air. In that moment, her life flashed before her eyes, and she knew she was going to die.

Rachel felt a hand around her waist and felt herself being carried through the air. Benji was there, holding her. He lifted her up and put her safely into an empty car, behind theirs, and came in beside her.

Rachel looked down, and watched as their former car went crashing down to the earth.

Out of breath, stunned, she looked at Benji. He had just saved her life.

“How did you do that?” she asked, crying and shaky.

“What do you mean?” he said. “I just jumped to the next car and took you with me.”

“No. That’s not what happened. I saw it. We were going to die. What you did…it was impossible.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Benji said, trying to calm her.

“Yes, it was! Our car crashed below! We almost died! And you saved my life!” she cried.

“It really was nothing,” Benji said.

“Stop saying that!” Rachel said. “That was so scary. I was falling and then you grabbed me, around my waist, and lifted me into the next car. How did you do that? That’s not possible.”

Rachel looked Benji up and down, as if for the first time, with new eyes. Who was he?

The ride began to move again and Benji got quiet. He ended the conversation and said, “At least we are safe now.”

Rachel’s mind was racing. Who was this guy? How did he do that? It was as if he had supernatural powers.

Rachel knew he wasn’t normal and desperately wanted to find out more.

As the ride attendant let them out, people swarmed them on the ground. They all wanted to see how they were doing, and the people started at Benji in disbelief. Benji walked through the crowd, guiding Rachel in front of him until they got into the parking lot.

Rachel put on her helmet and sat on the bike, her stomach in knots.

“Who are you?” Rachel finally asked.

Benji started the ignition and they started off down the road. Benji didn’t answer. They rode home without speaking a word to each other.

As Benji pulled up in front of Rachel’s house, he said, “Can I see you again?”

Rachel didn’t know what to say. She was conflicted and confused. On one hand she really wanted to see him again, but on the other hand, she was scared.

Rachel thought for a moment then said, “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

Rachel got off his bike and headed into her house in a daze. Her night was a blur and she didn’t know what to make of it. She couldn’t stop thinking about how she had almost just died. The scene played back over and over in her mind. Each time she thought about it, she felt her life flash before her eyes all over again.

As Rachel lay on her bed, motionless, she couldn’t stop thinking about Benji. She longed to touch his body and hold his hand. She wished she hadn’t turned him down. Thinking about how she made a mistake, she took out her phone and texted him.

Rachel: I want to see you again.

Rachel waited for Benji to text back, but he didn’t. Rachel worried that she messed things up for good and he was never going to talk to her again.

With her phone in her hand, she fell asleep, waiting.

*

Rachel ran, terrified. She was running through a field she didn’t recognize, and the sun was setting a blood red on the horizon and she was being chased by a flock of bats. The sun was setting a blood red on the horizon. The bats screeched, as they got tangled in Rachel’s hair. On the horizon she saw a small cottage and she knew if she could just make it there, she would be safe. But it was too far; the bats were closing in on her thick and fast. And even as she swatted at them, their claws scratched back, more and more coming at her.

She wasn’t going to make it. She was going to die a horrible death, smothered by an endless stream of these bats. As she felt her knees getting weak, she felt something tight and firm against her waist. It was a hand. She looked down and saw a leather sleeve; somehow, she knew it was Benji.

A second later, Rachel was looking down at the ground, and the endless flock of bats was now beneath her. They were swarming beneath her, eating a body on the ground, which she knew was a version of herself. She looked up, and realized she was flying through the sky being held tight in Benji’s arms. She looked over and saw his face.

“Where are you taking me,” Rachel asked.

“To some place beautiful,” Benji answered.

Rachel felt the strength of his grip, and knew, that somehow, with him by her side, she would be safe.

“Who are you?” Rachel asked.

Benji looked at her, and his face became a big ball of bright light.

Rachel suddenly sat up in her bed, out of breath, sweating. She touched her hair, still perfectly in its ponytail as she’d left it. She realized then that it was all a dream. Or was it?

Chapter Ten

All Rachel could think about was Benji. From the moment she woke up, getting ready for school and now, on her way to her first period class, she couldn’t stop thinking of him and their mysterious night together at Rye Playland.

She was kicking herself for not agreeing to a second date as he dropped her off, but at the time, she was too freaked out to realize how much she wanted to be with him. Now, she was even more upset because Benji hadn’t answered her text. It had been almost twelve hours since she sent it, and all Rachel could think about is why he hadn’t responded. She was analyzing and overanalyzing the situation. She also couldn’t stop thinking about her dream: it was all so real, and she couldn’t figure out what it meant.

As she walked down the hallway to her classroom, she made an extra loop around the hallways looking for Benji, but he was nowhere to be found. Rachel walked up and down the halls where the senior classrooms were, but couldn’t find him anywhere. She asked a few people if they knew where his homeroom class was, but nobody knew. Benji was illusive, and nobody could pinpoint his whereabouts.

Feeling like she had lost Benji for good, Rachel walked into Mr. Allen’s class right before the first bell rang. She sat down quietly next to Emily who had saved her a seat towards the back. Rachel didn’t even notice Rob in her class because she was too focused on her magical night with Benji.

She sank into her chair and began to doodle in her notebook. She drew a picture of Benji and her on the ferris wheel and then drew a picture of him on his motorcycle in his leather jacket.

As Rachel put the finishing touches on her drawings, something caught her eye outside the window. As Rachel looked up, she saw Benji standing outside behind to a pine tree that stood outside the classroom window. He was staring right at her, motioning for her to come outside.

Rachel didn’t know what to do. She knew there was a big exam in Mr. Allen’s class on Friday and if she missed this class, she wouldn’t be prepared. But she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to be with Benji, she had to meet him. Rachel raised her hand and waited.

“Yes, Rachel,” Mr. Allen said.

“I’m not feeling well, I need to go to the nurse,” Rachel said.

“Can you wait until after class? This is an important lecture. You really shouldn’t miss,”

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” said Rachel.

“You better get the notes from someone then,” Mr. Allen said, “your grade relies on it,.”

Rachel looked over at Emily who was staring at her in confusion. “You ok?” Emily whispered.

Rachel shook her head and immediately grabbed her books and her bag and left the classroom. She felt drawn to Benji like a magnet, and knew she had to be with him wherever he was -- even if that meant leaving class early and missing what could arguably be the most important class of the quarter.

As Rachel got outside, she couldn’t find Benji. She looked by the pine tree, but he wasn’t there.

She began to wonder if it was an illusion or if she had really seen someone. All of a sudden, Benji came around the backside of the school, holding a single black rose. He handed it to Rachel and said, “I had to see you.”

“I feel the same way, I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night.”

“Let’s go somewhere,” Benji said.

“But what about school?”

“I want to talk to you,” Benji said,  “Let’s cut school for the rest of the day, I bet nobody will even notice,” Benji said.

Against her better judgment she said, “OK, let’s do it.”

Rachel felt like a Rebel. She had never cut school before, but felt drawn to Benji and felt safe with him. She felt that no matter where he was, she wanted to be with him and that nothing bad would ever happen. Benji made the repercussions of cutting school worth it.

They began walking. He led her down a windy, dirt trail behind their school. She had never seen this trail, or even knew it existed. As they walked together, silently, Rachel knew this felt right, and she knew she was falling in love.

They approached the end of a path they came to a wide-open field, with tall beautiful trees surrounding it. Benji took off his leather jacket and put it on the ground for her to sit on.

As they sat there, Rachel on the jacket, and Benji sitting on the tall, wild grass, they looked into each other’s eyes. Rachel wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. She didn’t know if Benji was going to kiss her, but she felt like his stares were burning a hole through her heart. She so desperately wanted to know more about him. But she didn’t feel as if she could get close to him, truly close, until she knew more about him.

She finally broke their silence and said, “Who are you? I need to know more about you.”

He paused, longing to share. “I’m different than you?” Benji replied.

“What do you mean, different?” she asked.

“It’s hard to explain,” answered Benji. “And, I don’t think you would understand.”

“Well try,” she said. She was determined to know. She couldn’t let this go.

He looked away and sighed. Several seconds of silence followed.

“You and I…we come from different places, different backgrounds. We see the world differently. My world…is not the same as your world.”

“What does that all mean exactly? I still don’t understand you.”

Benji turned and looked at Rachel with a new expression.

“Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. Let’s not talk about this anymore, OK? I just want to be here with you, right now, in this moment.”

“How can I just be with you when I feel like I don’t even know you? Why won’t you tell me? What is it you’re hiding?”

Benji looked down at the tall grass below them. He refused to answer.

“I know what I saw,” Rachel said. “What you did at Rye Playland wasn’t normal. You saved my life. I would be dead right now if it weren’t for you. So I really need to know.”

“Anyone could have done that,” Benji said.

“IT’S NOT TRUE! STOP LYING TO ME!” Rachel yelled.

Rachel couldn’t help herself, she didn’t want to get into an argument with him and ruin their time together, but she felt such a burning desire to know, that she felt as if she couldn’t sit with him until he told her the truth.

Benji looked at her with sad eyes and spoke in a soft voice.

“I wish I could tell you,” Benji said. “I wish I could tell you everything. But I can’t. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

“No,” Rachel said getting more and more frustrated with their conversation. “I’m sorry. I really want to be with you. But I can’t, unless I know. I feel like there is just too much at stake for me, and it breaks my heart that you won’t trust me enough to tell me.”

Rachel stood up and smoothed out her skirt. She felt as if she were about to cry, and quickly turned away.

“Rachel, please. Can’t we just be happy with things as they are right now?” Benji said.

“I’m really sorry,” Rachel said, as she burst into tears and started running away.