Read S*x and Secrets: Alpha Billionaire Forbidden Romance Online
Authors: Jani Kay
“That’s just wishy washy bullshit. I don’t believe in that crap.”
“You don’t have to believe in it for it to affect your life. It’s a universal law and it’s called the Golden Rule for a reason. I pity you Jake. Until you learn the lesson, the Mack truck of life will hit you time and time again. There’s no avoiding it. It’s how people learn and grow.”
I pushed to my feet and threw a ten dollar bill on the table. “I hope our paths never cross again.”
I walked out of the café with my head held high. I was proud of myself that I’d faced my fears head on and told Jake what I thought. It would have been easy to hide behind Levi and everyone else who helped me through tough times.
Already a weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt better as I walked the short distance back to my office.
I had one more fear to face. My mother.
T
he drive to see my mom was excruciating. Red and I had taken turns behind the wheel of the car and I’d been sleeping in the back for the past hour.
Beckham had to be the best boss on the planet. He’d given me three days off—assuring me that I could have more if I needed it—even though we had urgent work to deal with. He swore that he’d cope in my absence and teased that the company would survive without me. It was Red he was going to miss most. They’d been inseparable since the first day and guilt ate at me for dragging her along to help me, but at that point I needed her more.
I woke with a start as she cut the engine and called my name. “Monty, I’m going to check us in at the motel so we can freshen up before we go to visit Mrs. M.” Her voice was tender, as if she were speaking to a child.
Confused, and with my head still fuzzy from sleep, I sat up and nodded. My dress was crumbled and my hair a mess, not to mention the streaks of tears that had dried on my cheeks. I rubbed my nose and looked around. I hadn’t been to see my mother for five years and now I was about to tell her I was going to break my oath.
As soon as Red opened the car door, a wave of humidity hit me, and I remembered why I hated coming to this town so much. Too many bad memories that threatened to overwhelm me flooded back to my mind.
I watched as she walked to the reception area, her chin raised as if she was ready to take on anyone who challenged her. I counted my blessings for having a best friend like Red. She didn’t take crap from anyone and I was damn grateful that she was on my side.
Mostly southerners were known for their hospitality, but they’d just as soon stab a person in the back if they felt wronged. It was human nature, but it was so much more painful in a small community where everyone knew one another’s business. That was why New York was the only place for me. It swallowed me whole and didn’t care where I came from or what I’d done. Everyone was too tied up in their own little bubbles in the big city to really bother about their neighbor’s problems, and that suited me just fine.
I’d worked hard to become Montana Marx, top executive at thirty-three. As much as New York demanded from me, it had also rewarded me handsomely. I’d paid it back by becoming engrossed—no, consumed—with my new life, never looking behind me at the past on purpose.
Startled, I realized that I’d taken my demons with me. I’d thought I’d run away to escape them, but in reality they were there with me all the time, buried deep inside.
There was no escape. Our demons had to be dealt with or be part of our lives forever.
I found the bottle of water that had rolled under the front seat and gulped it down, even though my bladder was already pretty full and I’d need to go to the bathroom as soon as we got to our room.
Red appeared about ten minutes later, got back in the car, and drove a short distance to park in front of our room. As I got out from the back seat, the hot, humid air assaulted my skin and lungs, so we grabbed our overnight bags and quickly made our way inside.
The room smelled musty and damp, and the AC rattled against the wall, but at least the dank space was cold. Too cold. Goosebumps scattered over my skin as I placed my bag on the bed against the wall. Red could have the bed closest to the air-conditioner because her body was always hot while mine ran cooler.
We took turns in the shower and I changed into a skirt and top and flats. I didn’t want to navigate my way on heels when we got to the special nursing home Mom was in.
I’d bought her a teddy bear, flowers and chocolates. Everything I knew she loved, just to break the ice. She loved bears because she’d never had one of her own as a child, and her face always lit up when I got her a new one to add to her collection. Guilt-ridden that I’d ordered and sent gifts via online shopping for the last five years because it was easier that delivering them myself, I’d splurged on a limited edition bear that I hoped she’d adore.
We drove in silence to the place my mother had been living since I’d taken off to New York. She’d refused to move away from the area she’d grown up in, swearing she’d never put foot in a large city.
As we drove through the gates into the large grounds, I swallowed hard. My heart drummed against my ribs, erratic and way too fast.
Red slowed down to walking speed, as advised by the road signs. She was never one to heed traffic signs, so I knew she was doing it for me, giving me a chance to catch my breath and let it all sink in that I was finally doing this.
“Ready?” she asked as she turned to me and flashed me a reassuring smile.
I nodded.
I’m fucking petrified.
I wanted for Red to turn around and take me straight back home.
Back to what?
Due to police investigations and the insurance people stalling, my apartment wasn’t ready yet. And if Levi had walked out of my life for good, he most likely wouldn’t want me staying at the loft any longer.
It wasn’t only that I had nowhere to go back to, it was also that I didn’t really have anyone to go back to. Red and Beckham were so into one another that I wasn’t going to cramp their style.
Levi
. I had to do this for him. And myself, of course. If I was very, very lucky, he’d give me another chance. A chance to show him how much I wanted to be with him. How much I loved him and how empty my world would be without him in it.
“Coming?” Red raised an eyebrow. I sat, frozen and stunned into silence. I hadn’t registered that she’d turned off the engine and was waiting for me to get out.
“Can we come back tomorrow?” I said in a small voice.
“Montana Marx, you aren’t fifteen. You’re strong and smart and you can do this.” Her voice softened. “I’m right here, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”
I reached out and laid my hand on her arm. “Thank you,” I choked out.
“You’d do the same for me,” she said, waving it off, but I caught her blinking fast before she turned her head away.
My mother had been expecting us, so she sat by the window waiting, dressed in her Sunday best, as she always called it. She was a lot thinner than the last time I’d seen her, but her cheeks were pink and she was smiling, so I took it as a good sign.
“Hey, Mom,” I greeted as I placed the gifts on the empty chair next to her and pulled her into a hug. Her skinny arms flew around my neck, and she buried her face against my shoulder.
“Oh Monty, it’s been too long, baby girl. I thought you’d never come back to see me.”
I gazed into her hazel eyes. They were set back into deep hollows and a pang of guilt ripped through me. “I’m sorry. I promise it won’t happen again.”
Promises
. Why did I always feel the need to make them?
“Mom, you’re fading away. Are you eating okay?” As I helped her into her chair, I couldn’t help noticing how frail she’d become.
“Don’t even get me started on that. The food is terrible. They overcook it and it tastes like cardboard. I can’t eat most of what they serve us. It’s a disgrace.”
For what I paid monthly for Mom’s care, the food should be five-star. I made a mental note to look into it and find out why they didn’t make sure my mother ate properly. It was always the same—the person doing the sales job promised the earth, but that was where it ended once the customer signed on the dotted line.
Red had gone to find something to drink from a vending machine and I found myself wishing she’d hurry up. I needed her moral support.
“Maybe it’s time we move you to somewhere nice closer to New York? Then I can come see you a lot more often,” I said, hoping she’d agree this time. We’d had this conversation before and every time she’d stubbornly refused.
“Will you really come and see me if I moved closer?”
My heart twisted with the way she looked at me, as if she was finally ready to relent. I hated moving her away from her friends, but that would mean it would be easier for me to visit.
There was so much to say that I didn’t know where to start, so I let Mom do most of the talking, listening to her stories about her daily life and how much she missed me. Nothing she told me was any different from what I’d heard before whenever I called her.
“Hello Mrs. M.,” Red said with a smile as she joined us, her hands full of cans of soft drinks and bars of chocolates. “Look what I found.”
“Red, you spoil me.” Mom grinned. “I still have some candy left from last time when you came to see me with that nice fella of yours.”
What?
Red pulled her shoulders to her ears and looked at me with an apology in her eyes. I couldn’t believe she’d withheld that information from me.
“Red?”
“I’ll explain later, okay? Just trust me.”
Annoyed, I scraped a chair closer and sat down, my brows knitted together as I fumed in silence.
Ignoring me, Red grabbed hold of a chair and sat down too, directly in front of my mother.
“That nice fella is my fiancé. Beckham Drake is a wonderful man and he makes me very happy.”
Mom leaned forward and patted Red’s hand. “That’s lovely, my dear.”
Red cleared her throat. “We’re getting married in a few months—”
Mom’s hand flew to her mouth as her eyes darted to Red’s stomach. “You’re not pregnant are you?”
Red laughed, but she wasn’t exactly amused. Yet her voice stayed calm as she spoke again. “No, not yet. Although we’d love to start a family as soon as we can.” She took a deep breath. “You really liked Beckham, didn’t you?”
“Oh yes, he’s so tall and handsome. You did well.”
Red grinned. “I’m pleased you think so. But here’s the thing . . .” She paused and looked at me for a long moment before continuing. “Monty here has met a man just like my Beckham. He’s crazy for her, and I think Monty likes him too.”
My mother turned to stare at me, her eyes wide with shock. “Is that why you haven’t been to see me in so long, Montana? Because of a
man
?”
What started off well was fast unravelling into a disaster. “No, of course not. I’ve worked hard at two jobs and getting a higher degree. I’ve never had a real relationship with a man. All because of a vow I made to you when I was a kid.”
“You know why, Monty. To protect you . . . so you never have to endure what I’ve been through.”
“I appreciate that and everything you’ve sacrificed for me more than I can ever express or repay. But I’ve come here to ask you to release me from that oath. I’m in love with a man, and I think I’ve just pushed him away because of my fears and it’s breaking my heart.”
Mom stared at me as if I were crazy. Her eyes were even darker in their hollows than before. “Monty, what have you done?”
Red intervened. “Mrs. M, I understand that you did what you thought was best for your daughter. Any good mother would do that and I admire you for it. But Montana is no longer a girl. She’s smart and tough, and she can take good care of herself. And what’s more, I guarantee that if you met Levi, you’d like him as much as you like my guy.”
“What does he do, this Levi?” Mom asked warily.
Again, Red jumped in before I could answer. “Oh he runs a family business with his father and grandfather. I heard his great-grandfather was from the south, just like us.”
“Well, when do I get to meet this man? Or are you ashamed of me?” Mom looked at me with hurt in her eyes.
“Mom,” I groaned. “Don’t be silly.”
“So then why didn’t he come with you, like Red’s fella did?”
“Because I told him I was never getting married or having children. Repeatedly. I think he got tired of me telling him and he left without a word.”
Mom turned to Red as if she didn’t believe me. “Is this true?”
Red nodded. “He’s a real catch. All the women in New York want him, but he only wants your daughter.”
Mom clasped her hands together. “So what are we going to do about it?”
I sucked in a breath.
We?
“What do you mean?” I asked cagily, not putting too much hope into it.
“Just what I said, my girl. If this Levi fella is half as good as Red’s man, you’re a lucky girl.”
Never in a million years did I expect to hear those worlds from my mother’s mouth. She’d drummed it into me that men were not to be trusted and only brought heartache.
Red winked at me over her head. “Close your mouth, Monty.”
I understood what Red had done. She’d softened my mother by introducing her to Beckham, appealing to her feminine side, the side that still believed in love and romance even if she denied it. If Red had told me before now, I would have laughed at her silly plan and told her it wouldn’t work, but she’d proven me wrong.
Red opened a can of soft drink and held it out to my mother. It was Mom’s favorite, and she eagerly took a few sips. I cringed at the amount of sugar it contained, but how could I deny her this small pleasure?
“Remember how I said I’d never live in the big smoke?” Red watched my mother gulp down a few more mouthfuls of soda and smiled. “Well, I have to admit it has its advantages, and I don’t regret the move. I really think you should consider moving closer to Montana. We’ll both come and see you more often if you did. You’ll have the biggest stash of candy ever.”
Funny how as we grew older we became more like children again. Mom’s eyes gleamed at the prospect. I wanted to kick Red in the shins for using tricks on my mother, but hell, it was working, and the best thing I could do was to shut up and listen.