Symphony of Light and Winter (31 page)

One final lick and he placed a kiss upon my swollen flesh and looked up at me. I was speechless.

“Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to do that?”

I tried to say no but nothing came out. He answered anyway.

“Would it bother you if I told you I thought about it every time we sat in the park together? I would have never taken your maidenhood because I wanted you to live a normal life first. But had I known that fiend would be the one…” He clenched his fists. “If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken you at the cabin that day and maybe none of this would have happened. I wanted to teach you about pleasure, about love. I smelled your need for me every time we met and I wanted nothing more than to lay you back and lick the desire from your skin, only to bring forth more.”

He didn’t force a response, just stood up, pushed my thighs together, and refastened the belt on the robe.

“Now where were we? Oh, that’s right. Breakfast.”

* * *

He insisted on feeding me my fill bite by bite. I wasn’t used to the pampering, so there was a special awkwardness to the experience I knew could easily become commonplace with us. But it would never be.

He busied himself with dishes as I made myself comfortable on one of the breakfast nook stools. I found it fascinating when he did mundane tasks because there was nothing mundane about him.

“Cyril, I didn’t get a chance to tell you I found the book.”

“That’s great, thank you.”

“Why does the book repulse Clarence and Overton?” I shifted and propped my elbows on the counter.

“It has to do with the magic it once contained and what it’s made of.”

The tone in his voice made me wary.

“What is the book made of? It looks like leather but the markings look just like the ones on your arm,” I said with much hesitancy, not entirely sure why I didn’t want to ask.

He came to stand beside me and grabbed both of my hands. “I tell you this not because I want your sympathy. I say it because it’s the truth. Do you remember how I told you my Goddess could be cruel?”

I nodded.

“She was angry when she found out I had been out of her control. She wanted a vessel for her eventual destruction spell, so she…” He squeezed my hands and bowed his head. “She made me remove the skin from my forearms to cover the book. She wanted the energy I was created from as a component.”

Oh God.

“Cyril, are you saying she made you skin yourself?” Indescribable fury and sickness pulsed through me.

“Yes.”

I wrapped my arms around and pulled him to me. He didn’t resist, but his words were distant.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“I don’t pity you, Cyril. It’s just you are so beyond comprehension, most times I forget you’re not immune to suffering.” I thought about all the suffering he endured in the amount of time he existed; about all the suffering that would happen tomorrow. Surely he could learn to live without me easier than dying a thousand deaths, or perhaps more, again.

“Every ounce of suffering was worth the reward.” He placed his lips on mine.

I savored the feel of his skin, but after a moment asked, “But why are they repulsed and I’m not?”

“Because only the person I belong to can use the book. It was her security measure. She didn’t want the other men to happen upon it and attempt to use the magic. I could because it is part of me. Giving you the book was a test. I can’t begin to tell you what that day was like for me. At first I was concerned you were her, reborn somehow, but as I got to know you and now that I’ve been in your mind, I know for certain you are not.”

“How do you explain this…connection between us then? I’ve felt it since the first time you touched me.”

He stroked my back. “I know. When I met you in the cemetery it never occurred to me you were the child I saved. I knew something was different, that you had my essence. You were so young I figured you weren’t capable of anything nefarious.”

“Little did you know I had a nefarious plan to seduce you.” I winked.

“You’re a woman who always makes her goal.” He pressed his swollen cock against my stomach.

“You weren’t exactly a hard sell.”

He raised an eyebrow, and then rubbed again, proving just how hard.

“You know what I mean.”

He smiled. “In all seriousness, when I read your mind, all the pieces fell into place. You restored the fractured thoughts. I was made from the Goddess, and by sharing my blood with you I gave you part of me and by default, her as well. You were an infant and on a cellular level your genetics were easily influenced at that stage of development. My power was at an all-time high because I had been storing it and had just absorbed Ruarc’s energy. It was also the eve of the winter solstice when energy is abundant and close to the surface due to the full moon. I believe the culmination of all that brought life to my desires. It was the perfect storm.”

“That explains why I’m not the Goddess, but what about us?”

“I believe I willed you to love me. I wasn’t strong enough to reverse the curse but I was able to alter it, allowing my desires to penetrate the magic. I don’t think your affections for me are your own and I hate myself for that. I know better than anyone what it’s like to be compelled. I would never wish that on anyone.”

I stared at him. “You’re serious? Tell me you’re kidding.”

“Linden, when I reached in and pulled you free from your mother, all I could think was I needed to save you because one day you would save me. You have. I’m complete now.”

“Because of that you think you willed me to love you? That I have no free will of my own?”

“Yes.”

“That’s so much bullshit.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Yes, I can. Because there are times when in spite of how much I love you, I fucking hate you. Would you like examples? If you were compelling me, I’d never have the desire to kick your ass, like I do right now. Proof enough, or would you like a demonstration?”

His chest shook against my ear as he laughed.

“Besides, Cyril dear, I was listening closely. Did I or did I not hear you say the book could only be held by you and the one you belong to?”

He raised a brow and gave me a suspicious stare. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

“Since the rightful title of ownership is held by yours truly, you couldn’t possibly compel me to do anything. I own you, the magical book says so. If anything, you should be angry that
I
might be compelling
you
. I was thinking about pancakes just before you made them. Hmm?”

The tickling started at my ribs, continuing without mercy.

I gasped for air between cries of laughter. “All right…all right! I give up! I’m compelled to love you until the spell is broken. You can keep your angst and guilt. But in the meantime, I am here, and until further notice, very much in love. What do you plan to do about it? “

I didn’t even register leaving the stool before my back slammed onto the bed. He loomed over me, his pelvis pressed tightly against mine.

“I’ll be such a spectacular lover, even when you come to your senses you won’t be able to leave me. I’ll win your heart while I fuck you senseless night after night.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

We made love all morning. Not the frenzied passion of the night before, but slow and tender. Every touch communicated his love for me. It made the day harder to carry out.

I needed to do it. The plan had run through my mind a million times since my meeting with Lance. I had to do it for Olivia and Cyril. As long as I lived with him, I was ammunition for Michael, and the longer he remained undistracted, the closer he came to a way to destroy Cyril. If Cyril’s description of his purpose here on Earth was accurate, I owed it to the world to save him.

My hope was to find a way to sabotage Michael from the inside out. I’d go willingly. I’d play my part until I was able to find a way to stop him. My betrayal would hurt Cyril because I would leave without protest, but I had to have faith that if in the end we were to ever be reunited, he would find a way to forgive me. Grabbing the sheet, I rose from the bed.

“Don’t go.” He held onto the end of the sheet, keeping me from dragging it with me.

“I have to.” I leaned forward and kissed him. “I do still have a job.”

“Can’t it wait? It’s Sunday. Plus…” He groaned as he rolled away from me and leaned off the bed. When he sat back up he had a black satin box in his hand. He handed it to me.

“What’s this?”

“Did you think I forgot your birthday?”

I blushed like a schoolgirl as he placed the box in my hand. I forgot it was my birthday. I stopped acknowledging it the night everything fell apart.

“Go ahead, open it.”

I shot him a look of apprehension and cracked open the lid. Inside, on a pillow of red velvet lay a beautiful necklace. The transparent orb hung loose in an encasement of three delicate tendrils of woven vines. At the top of the pendant, the vines formed a loop that held a chain from which the charm was suspended. It was beautiful.

He took the box from my hand and removed the necklace. Placing the necklace around my neck, he secured the clasp.

“I have a confession to make.”

“What?” I asked as I rolled the pendant between my fingers.

“I destroyed something that belonged to you in a fit of rage.”

“Huh?”

“The necklace Michael gave you. It no longer exists. It was made from the same substance as the creatures he carved for you. Since it was part of him, your body rejected it. Your body knows you belong to me. I’m surprised you didn’t suffer greatly from copulating with him.”

“I did suffer greatly. I thought it was some kind of disease. Every test turned up nothing. It took a month to clear up. It was awful. Now it all makes sense. I really wish you had given me some kind of warning.”

“I never meant for you to suffer. I hoped to come back and be with you, but desperation made me a fool.” He was right. He had a way of fucking things up and that’s why I couldn’t involve him in the exchange with Lance. He’d be irrational and he might inadvertently bring forth the Apocalypse.

“I’m not mad about the necklace. I had every intention of getting rid of it. Where did you get this? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“I made it. I know your fondness for handmade things.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?”

“I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to stick around to find out.”

“You’ll have to forgive me for asking, but this isn’t made from any bodily fluids, is it?”

He laughed. “No, it’s a stone. I don’t need to decorate your neck with my essences when you’re already wearing it.” He cupped me between the legs. “Every time you grow wet, you’ll think of me and what I did to you. You will grow wet, I assure you. If you insist on going to work, you may regret it a few hours from now when I’m not there to ease the ache. You might be underestimating the power of my gift.”

“Are you saying I’ll be so horny I won’t be able to function?”

He shot a wicked smile. “It’s possible. If it gets to be too much, I’ll make an office visit. Just call me. Hmmmm…”

“What’s the hmmm about?

“Oh, nothing. Just picturing leaning you over that mahogany desk of yours, bunching your skirt around your waist, pushing your panties aside and fucking you so hard that I’d have to cover your mouth with my hand to keep you from screaming while your desire drips all over your office floor.”

I shivered. I swallowed hard and tried to speak. “Wow.” My face flushed with heat. “I’ll try to manage. Thank you for the necklace. It’s really beautiful. Very thoughtful of you.”

I turned to kiss him and hoped he would not feel the good-bye on my lips.

“Let me drive you.”

“No, it’s OK. You look busy here.” I glanced around the room at the items scattered about. “By the way, why did you steal my notebook?” Picking it up from the table, I shook it at him.

“I know how you like to journal and wondered if you had written about our encounter.”

I was about to say
you could have asked
, but the truth was I would never have complied.

“Besides, returning it would have given me another excuse to come see you. Let me at least clear the driveway so you can get to the road. I don’t trust your car in this snow.”

“Me neither. You have a snowplow?”

“Not exactly. But I do have a way of melting it.”

“I’m not going to ask. Go. Do your thing and let me get dressed.” Another quick kiss and he left the bed in search of clothes.

When he was out of sight, I went to the journal and opened it to a random page. He had once called it
The Book of Good Things
. The last time I wrote in it I asked for him to come back to me and he did. Maybe
…

Cyril,

I do not leave to hurt you, but rather to protect you. If you ever find this please know I hope my success is swift and we will be together again as soon as possible, whether it be in this life or the next.

I love you.

Linden

Please forgive me.

Chapter Seventeen

Soulless

The snow dissipated as I descended the mountain and soon encountered the city streets covered in cold, newly fallen rain. My heart thumped in my throat the entire drive. I called Clarence and told him I’d be by to pick him up, and was going to meet Lance an hour later than we agreed. I had no intention of following through with that plan. I already screwed up his world; I wouldn’t put Clarence in danger too. I planned on being long gone before he could be involved in any of it.

I didn’t park in my usual spot but rather in the garage under the hall reserved for roadies and equipment vehicles. With a deep breath, I turned the key and opened the door. There was no point in grabbing my belongings. I wasn’t coming back.

I didn’t go to my office.
It wouldn’t be my office any longer. I felt confident Overton, of all people, would understand my actions, and see the symphony got what it needed to survive. Under Clarence’s leadership, everything would be fine. At least that’s what I needed to believe.