Authors: Mick Farren
‘I suppose you think you can get me to go with you? I suppose you think you can threaten me with violence?’
Jeb Stuart Ho stared steadily at the Minstrel Boy.
‘I could, but that isn’t the way that I operate.’
The Minstrel Boy laughed harshly.
‘That’s not the way you operate? I’ll tell you one thing, you won’t get me to go anywhere any other way.’
Jeb Stuart Ho shrugged.
‘I think you’ll come with me in the end.’
‘You think that? Is that what you think?’
‘I’m confident that you’ll guide me.’
‘Confident, hey? So what makes you so fucking confident? I like this place. I don’t have to move, I don’t have to think. I’m quite happy here, in fact I love it. I don’t see any way you could get me to leave here without holding a gun to my head.’
Jeb Stuart Ho shook his head.
‘I don’t think that will be necessary.’
‘You don’t, hey? You don’t think it’ll be necessary?’
‘I don’t.’
‘So what do you intend to do?’
‘I thought that if I explained the nature of my task to you, you might become more willing to guide me.’
‘Explain the nature of your task? You got to be crazy. Can’t you understand that I’m just not interested? I’ve had it. I’ve had it with the travelling and the concentrating. Knowing where you are don’t come easy. You have to work at it. There are times when it actually hurts. I don’t need it. I don’t give a fuck what high-minded mission you got. I don’t want to know.’
Jeb Stuart Ho waited until the Minstrel Boy had finished, then he spoke very softly.
‘I am from the temple. My task is an executive assignment.’
The Minstrel Boy sneered.
‘Is that supposed to frighten me? Is that supposed to fill me with awe? It might have done, years ago, but now I just don’t care. I’m never going travelling again. You’ll have to find someone else.’
‘You’re the one I need.’
‘I’m not the one you’re going to get. I’m staying right here.’
Jeb Stuart Ho stroked his chin.
‘You are a guest here. Perhaps your hosts would not be so anxious for you to stay here if they knew you had incurred the displeasure of the temple.’
The Minstrel Boy laughed.
‘For a temple executive you really don’t know very much. You ought to do a bit more homework. The One who rules this place don’t care whose displeasure He incurs. He don’t care.’
‘The temple is very powerful.’
‘So the temple’s powerful, He’s not interested. He’s not even interested that Wainscote is falling apart around Him. He just lies in His vault and soaks up energy from the fools at the party. If that ever stops, then maybe He’ll wake and move out into the world. When that happens, even the temple won’t be able to stop Him doing what He wants. He’s invincible.’
‘And you want to be just like Him.’
The Minstrel Boy shook his head.
‘That’s where you’re wrong. I don’t want anything, or, more to the point, I want nothing. I badly want nothing at all. You understand?’
Jeb Stuart Ho nodded.
‘I understand, but it seems a very negative attitude.’
‘That’s right. That’s exactly what it is. Negative. That’s for me, Mister Executive.’
‘So it would be no use outlining the importance of my task?’
The Minstrel Boy grinned.
‘No use at all, buddy. So you might as well move along, and let me go back to sleep.’
Jeb Stuart Ho looked sadly at the Minstrel Boy.
‘You’re putting me in a very difficult position.’
‘That’s really too bad.’
‘In the temple we strive to make every statement an absolute truth.’
‘So?’
‘On the other hand it is of paramount importance that a member of the brotherhood should not fail in an assigned task.’
The Minstrel Boy frowned.
‘I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.’
Jeb Stuart Ho sighed
‘I’m attempting to explain the awkward position you have placed me in by your refusal to cooperate.’
The Minstrel Boy began to get annoyed.
‘Can’t I get it across to you that I don’t want to know?’
Jeb Stuart Ho ignored him and went on.
‘By your refusal to cooperate, you are forcing me to go back on a previous statement.’
‘I should worry.’
‘Perhaps you should.’
‘Huh?’
‘I said earlier that I would not use violence or threats of violence to force you to cooperate. Your attitude and the importance of my mission make it necessary to reverse that statement.’
‘What do you mean?’
Jeb Stuart Ho slowly removed the .90 magnum from its holster.
‘If you don’t accompany me on my mission, I’ll kill you.’
The Minstrel Boy’s jaw dropped.
‘You can’t do that. It’s illogical. The brotherhood can’t go around behaving illogically.’
Jeb Stuart Ho trained the gun on the Minstrel Boy.
‘That’s true, but my analysis of the situation indicates that this is the only course. I think we have delayed long enough. You will get out of that coffin and put on your travelling clothes.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding.’
Jeb Stuart Ho took a step forward and thrust the gun under the Minstrel Boy’s chin.
‘Move!’
The Minstrel Boy began to scramble out of the coffin. He pointed an accusing finger at Jeb Stuart Ho.
‘You are going to regret this, my man.’
He tentatively swung his legs over the side and placed his feet on the floor. He tried to stand but his legs buckled and he dropped to the flagstones. He looked up at Jeb Stuart Ho.
‘You’re going to have to help me. I’m kind of weak. I haven’t moved in quite a while.’
Jeb Stuart Ho lowered his gun and bent down, extending a hand to the Minstrel Boy. The Minstrel Boy grasped the offered hand, and then suddenly jerked and twisted. He pulled at Jeb Stuart Ho’s arm. For a moment he swung off balance. The gun wavered. The Minstrel Boy kicked at Ho’s legs, but the executive turned on the balls of his feet, avoided the Minstrel Boy’s thrashing legs, and aimed a precise blow with the edge of his own foot. It landed under the Minstrel Boy’s jaw, and he rolled against the side of the black steel coffin, clutching his throat.
‘What in hell did you do that for? You could have ruptured my windpipe.’
‘The blow did exactly what it was supposed to do.’
‘Huh?’
‘It was a reminder. I sought to hurt you, but not cause any serious damage. If anything like that happens again I shall break one of the less vital bones in your body.’
‘Okay, okay.’
‘On any subsequent occasion I’ll do an increasing amount of damage.’
‘Sure, great, I give in. I’m coming with you.’
‘Just so we understand each other. Nothing must stand in the way of my mission.’
The Minstrel Boy got unsteadily to his feet. He was still massaging his bruised throat.
‘Okay, you’ve got a deal. I won’t cause any more trouble.’
Jeb Stuart Ho stood erect and watchful.
‘Then get dressed. We’ve wasted enough time already.’
The Minstrel Boy looked calculatingly at Jeb Stuart Ho.
‘There is one thing.’
‘What?’
‘I figure I ought to get paid for this job.’
‘You’ll be amply rewarded.’
‘How much?’
‘I guarantee the temple won’t turn down any reasonable request.’
‘Okay, that’s good enough.’
A small wash bowl was set in one corner of the bare stone room. Beside it was a simple wooden cupboard with a plain mirror set in the front of it. As the Minstrel Boy moved across the room, Jeb Stuart Ho noted that he was genuinely unsteady on his feet. He bent over the sink and splashed water on his face and neck.
‘That deprivation sure leaves you feeling bad.’
Jeb Stuart Ho looked bored.
‘That would seem adequate reason not to engage in it.’
The Minstrel Boy scowled.
‘I might have known you’d say that.’
The Minstrel Boy opened the cupboard, and took out a plain white cotton shirt. When he’d put this on, he removed a pair of grey pinstripe trousers from a hanger, and climbed into them. Next he pulled on a pair of high-heeled black boots, and tucked his pants into them. He turned to the mirror and dragged a comb through his dark, curly hair. He stepped back and admired the reflection of his pale, pinched face for a couple of moments. Then he lifted a belt that held five matched throwing knives, and strapped it around his hips. Jeb Stuart Ho glanced at him questioningly.
‘You don’t carry a gun?’
The Minstrel Boy grinned and shook his head. He patted the knives.
‘These will do me just fine. After all, I’ve got you to protect me, haven’t I? You’d be lost without me.’
Jeb Stuart Ho remained silent. The Minstrel Boy laughed and took a black frock coat from the cupboard. He slipped it on and brushed himself down. He clipped a miniature generator to his belt, and then completed his outfit with a wide-brimmed black hat with a silver and turquoise band. With a swift practised motion he tipped the hat over his eyes;, and grinned at Jeb Stuart Ho.
‘Okay, I’m ready. Where do you want to go?’
‘The city of Litz …’
‘Litz! I know Litz.’
‘There will be a problem in getting there.’
The Minstrel Boy laughed.
‘No, no, it’s a good distance, but there’s no real problem in getting there.’
Jeb Stuart Ho looked puzzled.
‘Then why do you laugh?’
‘Relief, I guess. Litz is, at least, halfway civilized. I began to think that you wanted to go to some weird place out in the fringes.’
‘It might come to that in the end, but Litz will do for now. Shall we get started?’
The Minstrel Boy sat down on the edge of the coffin.
‘Just hold on a minute. A trip to Litz isn’t just a short stroll. We need to plan the thing out.’
‘We can’t walk?’
‘No way. If we walked, I’d go insane before we were halfway there. We’ll need lizards.’
It was Jeb Stuart Ho’s turn to look puzzled.
‘Lizards?’
‘Sure, lizards. They’ll get us there, and all I’ll have to concentrate on is letting them know where we want to go. They’ll find their way there without any help.’
‘There are lizards in this place?’
The Minstrel Boy nodded.
‘Sure, there’s a bunch of them stabled in the lower levels. Nobody’ll notice if we take a couple.’
Jeb Stuart Ho raised a dubious eyebrow.
‘Will no one object if we remove something that is their property? Might they not become bitter about it?’
The Minstrel Boy shrugged.
‘What if they do? We’ll be long gone before that happens. In any case, I doubt if anyone will notice. Nobody hardly ever leaves here. I just hope someone’s remembered to feed them recently. Lizards are okay, but they have a tendency to get mean when they’re hungry.’
He pushed his shirt cuffs out from his jacket with a sharp hustler’s gesture, and jerked his head for Jeb Stuart Ho to follow him. They left the bare room with its steel coffin, and started down the endless corridors of Wainscote. It was almost like a dress rehearsal for the coming adventure. Jeb Stuart Ho was already totally in the hands of the Minstrel Boy. The builders of Wainscote had employed no recognizable logic in its construction. He knew that he could easily wander for days before he found his way out. He carefully watched the Minstrel Boy’s back for any sign of a trick. He didn’t altogether like the situation, but he realized there was no other way.
They descended five flights of stone stairs. It was like dropping into the vaults of the earth. The ceilings became covered with trails of dark green slime that hung like stalactites. Jeb Stuart Ho and the Minstrel Boy had to duck their heads to avoid it brushing off on their clothes.
Jeb Stuart Ho noticed that as they went lower and lower, a smell somewhat like ammonia got stronger. At the bottom of the fifth set of stairs it became almost overpowering. Ho glanced at the Minstrel Boy.
‘What causes this smell?’
The Minstrel Boy scowled.
‘Lizards. They stink something cruel. Nobody ever cleans the pens.’
‘Why not?’
The Minstrel Boy looked at Jeb Stuart Ho impatiently.
‘Why should they bother? Who gives a fuck? Like I said, nobody ever goes anywhere.’
‘But they are living creatures.’
‘So?’
Jeb Stuart Ho gave up. It was obvious that the Minstrel Boy’s mind worked in a very different way to his. They reached the bottom of the last flight of steps. The smell became almost overpowering. Ho raised his cloak to cover his nose and mouth. The Minstrel Boy grinned at him.
‘Bad, isn’t it?’
They walked through a high stone arch and into the lizard stables of Wainscote. Jeb Stuart Ho looked along the row of stalls that housed the huge creatures. Despite his training to expect anything, he couldn’t help being awed by the huge beasts. Their bodies alone were twice as high as a man, and their long necks extended to almost twice that again. As the two men approached them they shifted uneasily, and made deep bleating sounds. One of them swung its head round. It stared at Ho and the Minstrel Boy from dark moist eyes. Its thin reptilian tongue flicked in and out like a whip. Jeb Stuart Ho glanced at the Minstrel Boy.
‘Are you sure you can control these beasts?’
The Minstrel Boy laughed.
‘Sure. Nothing to it. Why? Are you nervous or something?’
‘No, I was just wondering.’
‘Don’t worry. I know all about lizards.’
He walked over to one of the largest, a huge dark green monster, and slapped it hard on the rump.
‘Lizards are no problem.’
He ducked under the heavy chain that closed off the end of the stall. He made a shrill whistling noise between his teeth. The animal inclined its head, and the Minstrel Boy began to scratch it vigorously on the nose.
‘See? No trouble at all. We might as well get saddled up and start moving. There ain’t nothing to hang around here for.’
He pointed to a row of saddles hanging from some short beams that jutted from the opposite wall.
‘Bring over two saddles and two sets of harness, and I’ll get a couple of these monsters hitched up to go.’
Jeb Stuart Ho walked over to the rack and picked up a heavy wooden saddle. The leather girth was attached to the seat with huge decorated silver studs. It must have once looked magnificent, but now it was filthy and covered in dust. He wiped off the worst of it and hefted the saddle over to where the Minstrel Boy was standing, still scratching the big lizard. He put it down, and went back for another one. The Minstrel Boy gestured towards the rack.