Tainted (31 page)

“Billy, no . . .”

But he'd already stripped off his shirt, moved to the stern; without even a splash he'd gone off the back. She watched him dive down, then quickly turned and stood at the wheel as the forward momentum of the boat brought it closer to Henry's and then past it, slowly gliding onward to the shore.

Where are they? I can't see them. Where are they?

The bow of the boat hit sand. Holly grabbed the anchor, jumped off onto shore with it, ran up onto the sand, all the time searching for them.

“Holly.”

She swung around to the right. Jack was sitting on a rock; she could just see him. About ten feet away from her. He held up his hand, waved. She threw down the anchor, ran. With every step she could see more, until she could see Katy.

Katy, curled up on his lap, her head against his chest.

“Katy! Katy!”

But Katy didn't raise her head. Katy didn't move at all.

“Stop right there, Holly.”

She was five feet away from them.

“Stop.”

The menace in his voice brought her to a halt. “What have you done to her, Jack? She's not moving. What have you done? Katy!”

“Don't yell, please. She's not going to hear you.”

“No, no. Please God, no.”

“She's not dead, Holly. She's asleep. Out for the count.”

“What have you done to her?”

He was dressed in jeans and the Lobster Pot T-shirt. They were both wearing the shirts he'd bought on their first date. He was sitting calmly on the rock. Holding Katy.

“Good work finding me, Holly.”

“What have you done to her?”

“Step back, Holly. I mean it.”

“What have you done to her?”

“I gave her a little sleeping pill. Told her it was a different kind of sweet—sorry—candy.”

“What are you doing? Jack, please. Let her go.”

“Can't do that. Not possible, I'm afraid.”

“What do you want? Tell me what you want. I'll do anything, Jack. If you let me have her, I'll do anything.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Of course you'd do anything.”

“I will. I promise. I'll help you escape. I promise.” She took a step forward.

“Not a good idea, Holly.” He picked something up from beside him. “I have a knife. I left the other one behind, but we took a trip to Walmart. Amazing how much they sell there. I mean, they have everything, don't they? Most of it's crap, but it is bloody cheap.”

“Jack.” She stepped back at the sight of the blade. “You're talking like a crazy person and I know you're not. I know you're not crazy. I know what you did . . . I know you felt you had to. You felt trapped. Like the wolf, right? Like the wolf you told me about on our honeymoon. Remember telling me? Remember Vermont?”

“Oh, please. You were right the first time. I'm not crazy. And you can't change anything by bringing up nice memories. The past is over, Holly. Do
you
remember? The past is jettisoned.”

“You said you still loved me. You said it on that message. If you love me, if you really do love me, you'll let Katy go.”

“True.” He nodded and her heart leaped. “But something else happened. What I mean is, I love Katy more.”

“Then let her go.”

He appeared to be thinking.

Please, please, please.

“But here's the problem. If I let her go, what happens? What's her future, Holly? No father, a mother who—well, I don't think you're going to have a normal life, if you don't mind me saying so. And I won't be around, will I? One way or another, I'll be dead. And she'll grow up and she'll become—she won't be Katy any more.”

“Is this that whole teenage mall thing you were talking about before? Katy getting tainted by life? I'll make sure she doesn't. You know me, Jack.” She paused.
Think. Think fast.
“You know I'm old-fashioned, right? That's what you liked about me. I'm not going to change, I won't let Katy change. You
know
me. You
love
me. You know I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. I'm her mother.”

“And I'm her father. I told her that, you know. She was so happy when I told her I'm her father.” He shifted position slightly, but she still couldn't see Katy's face; it was still pressed against his chest. “She grows up and finds out her father killed her great-grandfather. That her father killed two little girls. Shit, Holly,
I'd
take drugs or get off my head every night if that were my history.”

“But you're not her father.”

His face changed, his eyes hardened.

“I really wish you hadn't come here. It was a stupid thing to do. It's the Bad Boy's Island, Holly. You never come here, remember? Bad luck.”

“But you're not the Bad Boy. I know you're not. You don't want to hurt her. I know you don't.”

“I wasn't planning on hurting her—”

“Then let her go. Give her to me.”

“I was planning a nice swim. The two of us, into the water together. Look—look how calm it is. I wanted some time to sit, to think, to look at the horizon. Hard to do in this fog, but it's the principle of the thing, right? I know the horizon is out there, don't I? Besides, the fog is a kind of horizon too, in its own way. I just needed some quiet time. And then a swim.”

“A swim?”

“A nice long swim.”

“How long?”

He shrugged.

“How long?”

“I've been thinking about the Bad Boy. What it must have been like for him camping out here. I
channeled
him. He must have hated Shoreham so much. One fucking bicycle and that's it. That's the end of life as he knew it. One mistake. He's branded forever. People shun him. You know, I overheard a girl talking once in Bristol, at a bar, when I had my first—no, hang on—I think it was my second—yeah, my second new identity. She was talking with her girlfriends at the next-door table to mine. I was alone, having a pint. She was saying, ‘Remember that Choirboy Killer? The one who killed those twins? I saw some twins in the shop today and it occurred to me that he's out of jail now with a new identity and all and we're around his age and that some girl, somewhere, someone like us, might be hooking up with him right now and she wouldn't even know who he was. How fucking scary is that?' ”

He patted Katy's head as if she were a dog.

“What do you say, princess? Should we ask Mommy? Yes, I think we should.” He kissed Katy's head. “So how scary is it, Holly? Now that you know. I'm curious. Tell me. How scary is it?”

She could feel the tears running down her face, but she didn't wipe them off. She couldn't move.

What if Katy wakes up? What will he do if she—
“

And tell Billy Boy if he takes one step closer to me, I'll use the knife.”

“What?”

“He's behind me. Look—about fifteen yards behind me on the left.”

“What are you talking about?” She stared over Jack's shoulder. “I can't see anything, there's nobody—”

“He's there, Holly.” Jack didn't take his eyes off her. He raised his voice and called out, “Billy, I can hear you there. You know how if you're blind your hearing gets sharper? Well, one of the only advantages of jail is that it heightens your senses too. I can hear the proverbial pin drop yards away. I know you swam off the boat, Billy. Come a step closer and I'll have to hurt Katy. I don't want to. I hate blood. I really do.”

“Billy!” she yelled. “Billy, if you're there, don't move. Please. He has a knife. Don't move.”

“Drop the knife, Jack. Put it down,” Billy shouted.

“For fuck's sake, shut up. I'm talking to Holly. Leave us alone. You never could leave us alone. If you don't now, you'll force me to hurt Katy.”

“Don't move, Billy! I'm begging you, don't move.”

“Are you listening to her, Billy?”

“Yes. I'm not moving, OK? I'm not moving.”

“You said you wouldn't hurt her.” Holly was begging, pleading. “Did you ever love me? Ever?”

“I always loved you. I still do. He doesn't have a clue.” Jack tilted his head backward. “Billy Madison doesn't have a clue how happy we'd be right now, how happy we would have been
forever,
if he hadn't stuck his fucking nose in.”

“Then kill him. Kill me. Just don't hurt Katy.”

“I don't think Katy would appreciate me if I killed you. And to tell you the truth, I honestly can't be bothered with Billy Boy. He's insignificant, always was. I like that word insignificant. You wouldn't believe how much I read in jail. I read and I watched
Neighbors
. Great teenage years. Awesome, right?”

“Are you sure she's breathing? I can't see if she's breathing.”

“I can feel her heartbeat, Holly. Right next to mine.”

“What are you going to do? Tell me how I can fix this. Please. Please. Tell me how.”

“There's nothing you can do. You shouldn't have come.”

“You didn't mean to kill those girls, I know you didn't. It must have been an accident.”

“It was.” His face softened. She could see—what she'd said had made an impact.

“It was an accident. You didn't mean to. We can work something out, I promise. You wouldn't hurt a child on purpose. You wouldn't hurt Katy, not Katy. Let her go, Jack. Give her to me.”

His eyes narrowed. He was thinking again.

Don't say a word, Billy. He's going to let her go if we don't say a word.

He stood up, carefully, holding Katy with one arm, the knife in his other hand, took a step toward her.

He's going to give her to me. Katy. My baby.

“We're going around in circles here, Holly. I'm tired. So bloody tired. That whole thing with Henry . . .” He shook his head. “It was messy. Wrong. It shouldn't have happened.”

“I know. I know you didn't mean to hurt him.”

“I didn't want to have to hurt him. He gave me no choice.”

“I'm so sorry, Jack.”

“Really? So am I.” He took another step forward. She held out her hands. For Katy. He was going to put Katy in her arms.

“Hang on.” He hoisted Katy with his left arm so that her face rested on his shoulder. “That's better.”

“Jack?”

“We're going for a swim now. If you or Billy come within five feet of us—no, make that ten—ten feet of us, I'll use this knife. You won't want to see that, believe me. I hate blood. It's so messy. Henry's boat after a big fishing trip? It made me want to throw up. It's better this way. We'll go for a swim. You won't have to see anything messy. There won't be anything messy.”

Billy came charging out of the fog, running at Jack, who whirled to face him, at the same time raising his knife, pointing the blade straight at Katy's head.

“Stop right there, Billy Boy.”

“Stop!” Holly screamed. “Stop!”

He did. He stopped on the sand, put his hands up.

“Don't do it. Jack. Don't hurt her. I won't interfere any more. You can go away, you can escape. We'll let you leave the island, we won't tell the police. I can drive you anywhere you want to go. Put her down.”

“What are you like?” He smiled, a rueful, twisted smile. “As if I'd want to escape without Katy. But you wouldn't understand that, would you? You're her father? That's a joke. You were right to run away. You should have stayed away. I'm tired of this. I'm hot. We're going for a swim. Ten feet or I'll use the knife.”

“Don't kill her, Jack. For God's sake, please, please don't kill her. You love her. If you love her, let her live.”

“Holly, God doesn't come into it. I learned that a long time ago. God's been on vacation for centuries. I'd let Katy go, I really would. Maybe she would have a decent life with you. Maybe she would stay innocent and sweet, the Katy she is now. I don't think that's possible, but—”

“Then let her go, let her—”

“But the problem is this. She's part of me now. She's mine. And I can't die without her.”

He turned, headed for the water, Katy in his arms.

Billy was standing beside her.

“Don't move. Don't move an inch,” she ordered him.

In case you run over a deer, sweetie. It can happen so easily on our road. In case it doesn't die. You'll have to put it out of its misery and I might not be here to help. Here it is. I'll teach you how to use it.

She reached into the inside pocket of her jacket, pulled out the gun, took off the safety catch.

He was wading in, the water was up to his thighs, his back was to her. She took a few steps toward him.

“I told you—ten feet,” he shouted, but she took another step closer.

He swung around to face her. The water was just above his waist.

“She's going for a swim, Holly. That gun's just stupid.”

He took Katy off his shoulder, put her in the water, his right hand on her head, pushing her down.

“Let her go!”

She took another step toward him, raised the gun, her hands shaking crazily, pointed it at his head. She had to keep the bullet high, away from the water, away from Katy.

“This is silly.” He said it as if they were having an argument about what to have for dinner.

She fired. He didn't move. Not an inch. She'd missed. She realized she must have unconsciously closed her eyes when she fired and the shot had gone way up in the air above him.

Katy's body was thrashing underwater; Jack's hand was still on her head, pushing it down.

She moved another step forward, pointed the barrel directly at the top of his chest, willing herself to keep steady and to keep her eyes open.

“I want you to know something, Holly.” Jack smiled at her. He smiled straight at her. The same smile he'd had on his face when he'd raced her on the beach and turned to kiss her for the first time. “I don't mind.”

Henry, help me do this.

She pulled the trigger.

He kept smiling. He was still smiling and she thought she'd missed again until she saw a burst of blood come from the middle of his forehead.

Jack fell backward into the ocean; Katy's head surfaced. Holly ran to her, ran splashing through the water, her heart exploding.