“No, I’ll come with you,” she said firmly.
He eyed her, looking like he didn’t like the idea, “Dove I don’t–”
“I’m coming with you.” She wasn’t giving in. She wasn’t going to sit at his place worrying about him the whole time he was gone when she could be there with him, making sure he was okay and nothing happened. At least if he was going to use that time to do lines with Ty, she’d be there to bring him home.
He knew her tone and that there was no sense in arguing with her because it was one, a waste of time and two, he’d never win. So he gave in by putting the car into drive and heading towards the highway. Lennox watched out her window, her head swimming with questions; one in particular had gained her attention. One she hadn’t thought to ask until now. She had been around a few people who had done drugs, weed, and there was no reason for it other than it made them feel good. But she didn’t know why Caleb couldn’t just smoke weed, why he had to snort cocaine, why anyone would resort to that. They weren’t on the highway long when she finally turned his way and asked, “Why?”
He chuckled, “Gotta elaborate more , Lox.”
“Why do you– what made you– you know...” she trailed off, afraid to come right out and ask him, hoping he’d catch on.
“Start using?”
She nodded, “Yeah, how or why did you get into it?” Her body was turned to the side, looking directly at him as she hoped he would open up to her and answer some of her questions.
“A girl– well sorta– that’s what began the pot smoking anyways,” he began, his body leaning back in his seat, his armed stretched out holding the wheel, and his other hand holding hers. “I dated a girl in school, Sarah, and like I told you already, we were on and off a lot up until she moved before grade twelve. Anyways, after she moved, there was a part of me that was depressed over it so I went to a party, walked into a room where they were getting stoned so I joined them and told myself it was for just that night.”
“But it wasn’t, was it?”
He looked over at her watching him with no judgement on her face, only contentment and curiosity. “No, made friends with them, even against Em’s advise; we hung out every day after school and just got stoned and played video games. I spent my whole senior year stoned.”
“How did you get to cocaine; why that?”
He took a breath as he let go of her hand and grabbed a smoke from his pack and lit it, then rolling his window down he took a drag from it, blowing it out as he talked. “Half way through senior year, my relationship with my parents went to shit. They hated who I hung out with and they had already turned into assholes. Anyways, we were always fighting and I was always staying at Emerson’s. Then one day I was with my other friends and weed didn’t cut it anymore, it had lost its effect on me. So I asked around and was introduced to coke at a party about three months before graduation. I wasn’t going to do it– snorting shit up my nose, no fucking way– but a couple drinks later I was doing it and after that night that was it. It was all about finding a bigger, better high than what I was getting before.”
“So you do it because you like the high?”
“Something like that.”
“Has Emerson ever done–?”
Caleb shook his head, smoking blowing from his mouth, “Nope, never. He’ll drink alcohol but when it comes to any kind of drugs, he won’t touch them.”
“That’s good,” she said, having more she wanted to ask but she didn’t want to know the answers to them; she was too afraid they would hurt her and she wouldn’t be able to cover it.
She couldn’t help but wonder if Caleb ever thought about quitting and getting clean; never touching any kind of drug again. It was something she thought about all night as she laid awake next to him, her mind hyperactive with that thought, but now another thought was there, something he had said just a few seconds ago and she knew it was going to eat at her any chance it got; picking at her until she couldn’t take it anymore. If Caleb had moved from pot to cocaine because the high wasn’t there anymore, that it was too weak, what would happen if cocaine turned the same way? What happens when the high from coke no longer effects him, would there– is there– another drug out there, bigger and stronger, one that could give him a better high?
She watched as Caleb finished his smoke then tossed it out the window. Caleb smoking wasn’t a big deal to her, it wasn’t as if she had never been around it; both her parents smoked as she grew up but had long since quit. There was something about the taste of him, always fresh yet a slight smoky taste that hadn’t bothered her. As she watched him toss the butt out the window it occurred to her. “Weren’t you supposed to be quitting?” She looked down at the pack of smokes sitting in the cup holder then back at him with raised eye brows.
“I was.”
She looked at him, waiting for him to say more but nothing else came as he signalled over and made the turn down the back road that eventually lead to Ty’s. “And you’re not anymore?” she asked puzzled.
“No,” he sighed, “not anymore,” he said blatantly annoyed.
“I was just curious, wondering why–”
“Because I changed my mind, okay? I don’t wanna quit so drop it would ya.”
“Okay, sorry for asking.” She shifted in her seat until she was facing the front again, looking out at the dark road illuminated by the headlights.
The rest of the drive to Ty’s was silent. The radio played an old rock song at a louder volume than usual as Caleb steered the car, leaning further over away from her, his left hand resting on his lap, his right steering the car instead of holding hers. She wasn’t sure what his problem was or why the sudden mood change but he wasn’t the only one in the car who was mad. She propped her head against her fist as her arm rested on the ledge of the window, her head angled away from him as she looked out her window into nothing but darkness.
They came to the driveway of Ty’s and turned onto it, driving up to the front of the house and parking. Caleb wailed on the horn then waited. Her head turned an inch; her eyes were on the door expecting to see Ty come jogging out of his house and hop into the car but that didn’t happen. A few lights were on in his house but the door stayed close and no one came out so Caleb wailed on the horn again.
After a few seconds Caleb unbuckled his seatbelt, roughly tossing it aside. “Fuck, I’ll be back,” he grumbled then threw open his door and got out, jogging to the front door and banging on it, waiting,
Lennox watched as the door opened and Caleb moved inside, the door closing behind him. As it closed the sound of her cell phone ringing in her purse made her jump and she quickly dug it out and answered, “Hello?”
“There’s our girl,” both Londyn and Tatum called through the phone, their voices echoing as they both laughed. “What’s going on? How’s your weekend going?”
“Oh not much, just in the car waiting for Caleb,” she looked back at the door to see it was still closed with him inside, “how about you guys?”
“Not much, other than we miss you? When you home?”
“Later in the morning then I work a closing shift; coffee before I have to work?”
“You read our minds. We wanna know all the details of your weekend with Caleb,” Londyn said in a sing song voice right before Tatum talked over her. “Did you guys do it– I bet it was hot– he looks like a biter.”
“Tatum,” they both said at the same time.
“What, I was just asking the question you wouldn’t,” she said defending herself.
Lennox heard a door close and looked up to see Caleb and Ty walking towards the car, “Guy’s I gotta go, Caleb’s back. Coffee tomorrow at two at Wigs.”
“Sounds good, have fun Lenny,” Tatum said.
“Thanks, talk to you tomorrow,” she said almost in a rush then hung up her cell phone and tossed it in her bag as the back door and Caleb’s door opened at the same time, both getting in and slamming their doors behind them.
“Hey,” Ty said, settling into the backseat.
Lennox looked over her shoulder at him, “Hey,” she said, unable to help the thoughts of how he looked like a drug dealer the way he was dressed and how he was settled in the back. She wasn’t sure if it was because she already knew or if it was his baggy jeans with his three sizes two big hoodie he wore with a backwards white baseball cap that screamed drug dealer; she couldn’t decide.
Caleb put the car in drive and shot forward, speeding out of his driveway then heading back the way they came. From the corner of her eye she could see him fidget every few minutes whether it was running his hands through his hair or over his facial hair or just moving around like he couldn’t get comfortable in his seat. He swept his hand under his nose a few times, quickly, as his head moved from side to side before he rested it back against the head rest.
She knew why he had gone inside and why it had taken them a few minutes to come back to the car, she wasn’t surprised; she would have been more surprised if he just knocked then walked back to the car. “Where we picking up?” Caleb’s voice echoed through the silence as he looked back at Ty through his rear view mirror.
“Burrow Street, apartments on the end,” Ty leaned forward, his head popping through the middle, “So, you selling any of that shit yet?” he asked.
“Nah, not yet, just tested it,” Caleb said, and she saw him look at her from the corner of her eye, like he was expecting her to react at their conversation but she didn’t, she just continued to look out the window at nothing, thinking there was nothing to say, even if she wanted to; he had given her the option to go to his place and wait but she said no.
“When you get some, gotta let me know. I’ll buy a ball from ya.” Caleb didn’t say anything, instead she felt his hand cover hers and squeeze it softly, as if asking her to look at him. Hesitating, she rolled her head in his direction and her eyes found his dime sized dark ones. They were becoming more familiar to her; the once vibrant azure eyes no longer bright but glassy and unnatural.
“Dove,” he said, in a tone full of magnitude she had never heard before and it didn’t take long for her to figure out, “Me too, Caleb,” she coincided, wondering if he saw it, the look she was unable to hide. She may not say anything but she couldn’t hide the feelings that showed in her eyes, showcasing the torment and concern she felt.
The drive to the apartment was short as Caleb drove over the speed limit and before she knew it they were parked across the street of what she thought was a decent looking apartment in a decent looking neighbourhood. The back door opened and Ty folded out then stuck his head back in and said, “Five tops, man.” He shut the door and jogged across the street and into the apartment where he pushed a button for the buzzer and waited for the door to open.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, unsure of exactly what they were doing.
“Just picking up something for Snake,” he told her, not looking at her.
“A drug deal?” she asked in a hushed voice as she looked around the neighbourhood, taking in all the cars that surrounded them, hoping none of them were ghost cop cars.
“You don’t have to whisper,” Caleb mocked, looking at her with his sexy half smile.
“Why can’t Snake do it himself?”
“It’s one of Ty’s guy’s so he’s doing the picking and taking it to Snake.”
“Why are we here then?”
“Ty or Snake don’t drive, so that’s where I come in.”
“That’s–”
“Later,” Caleb cut her off as Ty pulled open the door and jumped in and slammed the door.
“Go.”
Caleb didn’t question him, just put the car in drive and pulled away quickly. Lennox looked in her side mirror, paranoid, making sure no one was following them as he turned off the street and headed the way they came and got back on to the highway, heading in the direction of Caleb’s.
“Everything good?” Caleb asked.
“Yep, we have to go to the corner of Arlington Ave; that strip mall across the street is where he’s waiting,” Ty said, snapping his cell phone shut and tossing it on the seat next to him, putting his head back.
“Got it, I’m parking down from it and we can walk to him– Lennox stay’s here,” he said firmly, shooting a look at her that said not to argue even though she was perfectly fine sitting and waiting for them parked far away with the doors locked.
Arlington Ave. wasn’t far from Caleb’s. They pulled into a bright parking lot just after nine thirty with a gas station in the middle and a lounge on the opposite end. There was a small group outside smoking and two people at the gas station but other than that the place was deserted.
“‘Kay, cars running, doors stay locked– all doors– and you don’t leave the car,” he said firmly. “Won’t be long, just dropping then we’re gone; ten minutes tops.”
Lennox nodded, frozen to her seat as he leaned over and brushed his lips over the side of her cheek before he threw his door open and followed Ty briskly down the street then around a corner. As they rounded the corner all she could think of was cop cars coming out of nowhere and busting them with whatever it was Ty was taking to Snake.
The minute they left Lennox hit the lock button and all doors instantly locked, making her feel a little more safe. She turned the dial on the radio, not finding anything she wanted to listen to and going back to the rock station. She looked around in the direction the guys had left but didn’t see anyone walking back then turned back around and looked at the clock; it may have felt like twenty minutes but only three had passed.
Looking from the clock to the way they walked every couple minutes, Lennox finally saw someone round the corner and head in her direction. She wasn’t sure if it was Caleb because it was only one person. Her stomach tightened as the person came closer and she was finally able to see it was, indeed, Caleb. As he approached the car she reached across and unlocked his door for him. She watched him intently as he pulled his seatbelt on, then looked at her after sensing her watching him.
“Where’s Ty?” she asked, thinking the worse, that maybe he was being chopped up into tiny bits then being fed to the dogs.
“Staying with Snake; he’s gonna give him a ride,” he said as he put the car in drive and peeled out of the parking lot.