Take Me Out (6 page)

Chapter 5

Self-Preservation

(Charlotte)

Charlotte Windsor

Men Don’t Matter!

I’ve decided to focus on myself. I don’t need any men in my life this summer. I am going to focus on being young, wild and free!

I have one last year of college and I won’t get involved with someone who isn’t worthy of my time. Here’s to being a strong independent woman!

Nearly a month had gone by and I did my best to ignore Bentley after the incident at the bar. We were no good for each other, but I couldn’t help but think about him all the time. He had e-mailed me several times but I didn’t even bother to read them. The moment we talked, my guard would be back down and I would end up getting hurt again. I could only hope he was hurting as much as I was.

My heart had been so heavy over the past month. Every time an e-mail alert went off or I saw him put up a new status on Facebook, a little bit more chipped away. I had never cared for anyone like this other than family. It was a feeling I could certainly live without.

I had gone out with Landon a couple of times, but we seemed like friends more than lovers. Once I said I was celibate his whole attitude towards me changed. I enjoyed his company, but it was nothing like the way I felt when I was with Bentley. Not to mention that no matter who I spent time with, I found myself comparing them to Bentley. The little bit of time I had spent with him had set an unrealistic standard for any other person in the future. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what would have happened if I had just taken the time to talk to him.

I could never figure out what it was, but Landon... there was something off about him. With my past, I’d become a very good judge of character. I could pin screwy people a mile away and despite his looks, he was a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

How could two men have made me so damn crazy when all I wanted to do was focus on myself? No matter what I was doing, Bentley was on my mind even though I hadn’t seen him in a month.

Shay had been trying to pull me out of my man-induced funk and we headed to Fenway for a night of beer and baseball. She always knew how to cheer me up. By the time the baseball game ended, with the Sox losing to Tampa Bay, I was more than ready to go home. Nothing was worse than a losing baseball game when you really needed that win to boost your personal morale --
especially to the Rays.

We headed out of the park onto Yawkey Way and my mood changed instantly. I’m not sure what it was, but something just clicked. With everyone partying around me, I wanted to party too. I had spent far too much time sulking over stupid boys. Thinking about just how much time I had wasted thinking about them fueled my fire. I was mad at myself for letting them screw with my emotions, for letting them take up so much of my time and for even caring in the first place.

Boston Beer Works was exactly the place to turn my mood around. Shay followed along like a lost child, not wanting to tell me
no
, since I was having a good time. It was late for her, but I’d been such a spoil sport lately. She wouldn’t dare complain.

“Are you sure you want to go out? Remember the last time?” Shay asked, a hint of condescension in her voice.

“I’m not driving and you’re here with me,” I pointed out, knowing Shay really did have my best interests at heart. “Come on, I wanna have a little fun! Tonight’s a night to let our hair down and really live!”

As soon as we walked in, I headed directly to the bar, placed my credit card on the counter and ordered a round of shots. Once Shay saw me start the tab, she knew it was going to be a long night. Not as discreet as she thought she was being, she slipped her phone out and called for backup. Half an hour later, Jake was by our sides. In an interesting change from his norm, Jake was alone. I knew that wouldn’t last long; there was no chance Jake would go home alone.

The bar was packed with the post-game crowd who had left the stadium. It was hot and muggy. Bodies were everywhere and every few minutes someone was grabbing my ass, thinking it was okay to grope random women. Any other night, I would have gone home but I was determined to make the most of the night and forget everything else on my mind.

I drank and danced, then drank some more. I flirted with any guy who came within ten feet of me. I was well on my way to drunk when I caught the smell of husky cologne and fresh soap. It stirred something inside me and I knew the man behind me who smelled that heavenly would be my next dance partner for the evening. I spun around, only to see Bentley staring at me, every bit as shocked as I was. “You smell good,” I screamed over the crowd. I turned back towards the bar, not waiting to hear his response.
Yeah, because acting like nothing ever happened was going to work just fine.
I was going to give it a good try, but I knew in my head it wasn’t going to work. I was an idiot.

“Bar keep, another shot and a beer,” I demanded.

Shay crept up next to me. “You want to leave now?” Her eyes drifted to Bentley and then back to me. I knew she was looking for a reason, any reason, to get out of there. She didn’t really care for the bar scene, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was playing a game and needed to win against Bentley.

“No way! I’m not letting any man ruin my night,” I proclaimed in a cocky tone. I was building up my liquid courage, something I hadn’t done often, not since outgrowing my younger, wilder days.

If I had a dime for every fake ID I’d had confiscated over the years, I wouldn’t need my father’s money. When I turned around, Bentley was directly behind me, looking upset. “Can we go someplace and talk?”

“Sure, I was just heading out to the dance floor.” Against my better judgment, I pulled him along behind me. Hell, all my judgment was gone by then. That’s what whiskey does to most people.

I danced my ass off while Bentley tried his best to keep up with me. I was shaking in all the right places, trying my damnedest to turn him on. When I felt his growing erection against my ass, I knew it was working.

Seduction was my way of trying to fix the situation-- a drunk’s temporary solution of course.

“Charlotte, please can we leave and go someplace quiet? I want to talk to you about what happened,” Bentley begged, placing his hands on my shoulders to keep me from dancing for a few seconds.

I leaned in close to him, knowing how much he wanted me. I licked his ear then whispered, “Was she good? Like really good?” I placed my lips right against his ear so I knew he could hear me. His breath hitched and I wasn’t sure if it was from my breath grazing the sensitive skin on his neck or if the words themselves stung. Part of me hoped it was because the words felt like knives to his heart, just like I had felt when Shay texted me the pictures of him. “Or just one of those one-and-dones?” I couldn’t help myself. This was a fight that had been brewing for a month and my drunken state made me ready to confront him.

“It wasn’t like that,” he sighed. His shoulders slumped forward slightly as he leaned down so he was looking me in the eye. “Nothing happened. Since the night I stayed with you, I haven’t seen anyone else except for her that night. And I walked out on her because I realized it upset you.” He might as well have been on his knees begging me. As much as I wanted to, I wasn’t sure I could believe a word he was saying. His reputation didn’t allow for me to think he was the type of guy who would stop sleeping around after simply sharing a bed with a girl for one night.

I knew I was being bitchy about the situation. I mean, everyone had a past and I couldn’t hold his against him. Maybe he really had changed. If people held my shitty choices against me, I would really be screwed in life. Plus, I’d been seeing Landon. Granted, I never groped him in public, but I’d been with him the same night Bentley had been with the bimbo in the bar.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered in his ear. It was time to talk and a crowded bar wasn’t the place to do that.

I headed towards the counter to collect my credit card, Shay and Jake, before he got himself into as much trouble as I was determined to get into before the night’s end. Shay watched carefully as we walked to my apartment, making sure Bentley didn’t make any unwelcome advances. As protective as she was being, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried out some of her karate moves on him.

“Why did you invite him back to the apartment?” Shay hissed in my ear, making sure she was quiet enough that Bentley couldn’t hear her.

I didn’t have a good answer for her. “I need to see where this goes, I guess.” If I’d been honest with myself, I would have realized I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I just wanted him there with me.

The entire thing was going to be a disaster, another reason I had ignored him for a month. The moment I saw him my guard was down. By the time we reached the lobby of our building, I was exhausted. It had been a long day and I’d had way too much to drink. It was all catching up with me and I needed to either go to sleep or pass out, I wasn’t sure which. I just hoped it wouldn’t be preceded by me throwing up.

When we finally got into the apartment, I dragged Bentley down the hallway to my bedroom. Shay grabbed Jake’s arm and they both stiffened a bit as they watched us walking down the hall. Shay knew better than to get in my way, but I was sure, by the time morning came, she would want all the details.

I looked Bentley in the eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up,” I warned as I pulled him through my door. Privacy was my goal. Nothing more. Then again, in my alcohol-induced haze, jumping his bones didn’t sound like a half bad idea.

“Charlotte, please let me explain.” He looked my way, but couldn’t force his eyes to meet mine. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “I was confused. I’ve never felt like this in my life. I never had any feelings or respect for women, my mother screwed that up a long time ago.” That was a refreshing thought. At least he was honest about the fact that he didn’t respect women. His admission left me speechless.

He sat on the edge of my bed, resting his elbows on his knees. “But when I was with you, here, all I could think of was being here forever. It scared the shit out of me. I knew I had to get away and do what I’m best at. Meaningless sex. Before I could even take that girl home, you e-mailed me. That night, I sat here, outside your door, but you never came home.” Before I could challenge his statement, he responded to my skepticism. “Ask Shay. She came home and saw me sitting here.” Shay hadn’t told me. Had I known that he’d gone to such lengths to make things right
that
same night, I might have let him explain sooner. I certainly wouldn’t have deleted his e-mails without reading them.

It got uncomfortably quiet in my room as I tried to digest what he had told me and he tried to force himself to keep talking. “You ignored me, for weeks. I left and went to New York and made a stupid drunken mistake. I promise you if you give me a chance I’ll never hurt you.” As he talked, I felt tears forming in my eyes. If he wasn’t being honest and sincere, pouring out his heart to me, I was beyond gullible and deserved whatever came my way.

“Bentley, I don’t need your excuses. We weren’t dating or exclusive. You don’t have to explain your actions to me. I’m just some girl.” I lowered down onto the bed next to him, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks as I placed my hand on his leg. Feeling the warmth of his thigh against my palm gave me hope that everything was going to work itself out. If we both allowed it.

“That’s the problem, Charlie,” he snapped, taking off his baseball cap to run his fingers through his hair. “You aren’t
just some girl.
You’re different. That’s what started all of this, the fact that you’re
not
like every other girl I’ve spent time with. Please, just give me a second chance to prove that to you?”

I wanted to give him a second chance, but could I put myself back in that position? The worst that could happen was that I would find out again he was a shit bag. It wouldn’t be the first time I discovered a guy was an asshole.

“I guess I can try.” I shrugged as I looked over at him. A smile washed over his face as he looked over at me. He pulled me off the bed, spinning me around like I had just said
yes
to marrying him or something.
Room spinning. Bad idea.

“I won’t fuck it up, I swear,” he promised as he planted quick kisses along my jaw.

“I really hope not,” I sighed. I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t screw things up between us again, but even he admitted he wasn’t good at dealing with women. It would be something we both had to work at. Together.

I looked over at him. His blue eyes looked like the ocean on a clear day. His lips were almost touching mine and I couldn’t have pulled away if I wanted to. As soon as our lips met, I was in Heaven. His kiss was soft and sweet. As nice as those gentle kisses were, I needed more. He realized that from the way I was feverishly kissing him back and he deepened his kiss. Our tongues meeting in frantic licks.

While locked in our passionate kiss, his hands started to explore. Slowly moving from my hips down to my ass. Then back up and landed right on my breasts. I melted under his fingertips. His touch felt impatient. I tugged on the t-shirt he was wearing, breaking our kiss to move it over his head and onto my floor. As much as I wanted him, I could feel Bentley holding back.