“Yes.” Cody never liked talking about Bailey with her family. He wasn’t sure how they felt about Tim Reed, but he was her boyfriend. All of them knew that. “She and I talked. It was nice. Being together like that.”
Jim slowed his pace, his attention more fully on Cody. “She cares a great deal for you.” He looked like he might say something more, but he stopped himself. “Probably more than you know.”
“I…I like hearing that.” Cody wanted to say more too. He wanted to ask if Bailey cared so much, then why was she dating Tim. But that wasn’t a conversation he could have with her father. And the last thing Cody wanted was any awkwardness between them. Instead he shifted the conversation again. “Pray for my mom, will you? She’s acting funny. I’m worried about her.”
Concern clouded Jim’s eyes. “She’s still clean?”
“I’m not sure. The guy she’s dating, the way she seems nervous all the time. I think she’s about to fall.” He studied the ground for a few seconds. “There’s nothing I can do to stop her, but I’d like to try.”
Jim nodded, understanding. “I’ll tell Jenny. We’ll pray.” He put his arm around Cody’s shoulders. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
“I will.” Cody felt his emotions gather in his throat, a combination of the way Jim treated him like a son, and the certainty that his mother was about to suffer yet another crisis. He was so grateful for the Flanigans, for this time with Jim. As they reached the house, Cody hugged Jim hard. “Thanks. For letting me talk.”
“Stay for dinner.” Jim gathered the football and reached for the back door handle. “I’ll call Ryan Taylor. See if he could use another assistant through summer league.”
Cody could hardly believe it. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. You’re here all summer, right?” His smile was kind, compassionate.
“I am.”
“Okay, then. You might as well be on a football field.”
Cody grinned, again grateful. He hadn’t imagined Jim would make a phone call this quickly. Ryan Taylor had been the assistant at Clear Creek High when Cody played there, back when Jim was the head coach. It was a position he’d taken after his first retirement from the NFL. But when the Colts hired Jim, Ryan took over at the high school. Cody followed Jim into the house.
The scene was happy chaos inside—typical Flanigan stuff. Bailey and Jenny were unloading grocery bags while a tag team of Flanigan boys carried in one armload after another. Jenny spotted him first. “Cody! The boys said you were here!” She blew at a wisp of hair in her eyes. “You’d think we were stocking up for a month.”
Bailey exchanged a look with him then. She mouthed a quiet hi, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight streaming through the window. “The checker always gives us a funny look.” She pulled five oversized packs of eggs from a single bag. “‘You must run a daycare,’ they say, or sometimes it’s, ‘What in the world are you doing with all these eggs!’” Bailey giggled and put her hand on her mother’s shoulder. “What did we figure it was each week?”
“A hundred and eight eggs every seven days.” Jenny laughed. “Unless we have extra kids on the weekend. Then it’s more.”
“It was more when I lived here.” Cody moved into the kitchen and started unloading one of the bags lined across the counter. They worked together, while Jenny whipped up the great-smelling enchilada casserole and popped it into the oven. When the groceries were unloaded and the mess from two dozen plastic bags was cleaned up, when toilet paper had been taken to each of the Flanigans’ nine bathrooms, and cleaning supplies had been
distributed to the same, Cody motioned for Bailey to follow him into the piano room.
She did, and he was quick with his question. “I should’ve asked.” He studied her, looking for signs that she might be upset he was here. “Is Tim coming by tonight? I mean…it’s Friday.”
“No. He’s going to bed early.” Her eyes had a way of seeing to the very core of his being. “Still recovering.”
“Oh.” Cody nodded, hiding how happy that made him. “So…I can hang out?”
“Of course.” She hugged him quickly, impulsively. “I love when you’re here. It’s like…I don’t know.” She drew back, searching his eyes. “Like old times.”
He wanted to say that he felt the same way, that this was where he felt most at home and that she was the only girl he’d want to spend Friday night with as long as he lived. But he didn’t say so then or while they were sharing stories around the dinner table or later when they played Pictionary. As usual, Bailey kept them laughing through the game.
The word was
cadaver
and Bailey was drawing for Cody and Ricky. She started with something that looked like a boot, then she carefully added the detail of a spiky thing near the ankle.
“What’s that?” Ricky snapped his fingers, frustrated that he couldn’t think of the word. He was as competitive around the game table as he was playing football.
Across from them, Bailey’s brothers and her parents were snickering. None of them were drawing, so they all watched Bailey’s attempt at the illustration. Cody knew where Ricky was headed with his guess so he quickly shouted out what had to be the answer. “Spur, cowboy spurs.”
Bailey shook her head, but she motioned that they were close. This time she drew a very pointed arrow aimed directly at the spur-like thing. Her efforts lasted another ten seconds before time was up. She groaned out loud and threw her hands in the air. “I drew it perfectly.”
The laughter from across the table was getting louder. Everyone but Bailey’s team had already seen the card.
Bailey gave them a silly look as if she were offended, then she held up the picture so Cody and Ricky could see it better. She pointed to the object attached to the ankle of the boot. “It’s right there. Cadaver. Clear as day.”
Cody looked at Jim and Jenny, both of whom shrugged. At the same time Justin and BJ fell onto the floor laughing. “Seriously?” Cody shifted his attention to Bailey. “The word’s cadaver?”
“Wow.” Ricky smacked himself on the forehead. “Even I know what a cadaver is.” He was half laughing, half frustrated. “Really, Dad? Can’t she be on
your
team?”
“What?” Bailey studied her drawing. “That’s not a cadaver?”
Jenny was the first one to have sympathy on her. “A cadaver’s a dead body, honey. Not something you attach to your boot.”
“Unless,” Cody laughed out loud, “unless you’re in the wild west, dragging a dead body out of town on your boot.”
Bailey frowned at the photo. “A dead body? Seriously?”
“Cadaver!” Ricky had given up getting any points for the round. He patted his sister on the back as if he felt sorry for her. “Don’t you ever see those police shows? They’re always talking about some cadaver or another. No one ever says anything about boots.”
Even Bailey laughed this time, and the night continued with all three teams close until the very end, when Jenny, BJ, and Connor won. “Just because Connor’s the best drawer in the family.” Ricky shrugged, careful not to get down because of the loss. “At least we get to watch the best movie ever.”
They did that, too, celebrating with the Titans and wiping tears at the end when one of the star players was killed in a car accident. It was a night unlike any Cody had experienced for far too long. He wanted to say he’d be back every Friday, but that wasn’t possible. Instead he savored the memories they’d made
that night since he couldn’t know when he’d have another chance like this one.
Before he left, Jim found him at the kitchen sink getting water. “I talked to Ryan before the movie. He said he’d love to have you. They’ll be out on the field at three o’clock Monday if you can make it.”
Cody remembered just a blink ago when he was one of the players suiting up for summer practices, dreaming of the fall ahead. Now he’d be dreaming up plays and play-breakers. He couldn’t wipe the grin from his face if he wanted to. “He doesn’t mind?”
“He’s glad. He said he could use a quarterback coach.” Jim patted Cody on the shoulder. “You were one of the best at Clear Creek High.”
The compliment was the perfect ending to a perfect night. They talked a few more minutes about Ryan’s coaching style and how Cody would be wise to watch a lot at first. When they were finished, Bailey walked him to the front door. He nudged his elbow against hers as they walked down the hallway. “Glad you’re not going into forensics.”
“Maybe I should.” She cast teasing eyes at him. “At least now I know what to call a dead body.”
“And what not to call a set of spurs.”
“Right.” She laughed out loud. “That too.”
They reached the door, and Cody had to fight an overwhelming urge to kiss her. Was this what it would be like dating her? Being part of the Flanigan family night after night? He couldn’t imagine anything better. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, it was tempered by the greater reality. Bailey had made her choice—at least for now. And he wasn’t that guy.
“I had fun tonight.” He slipped his hands in his back pockets and took a step closer to the door.
“Me too.” Bailey came closer. “You should come over more often.”
He wanted to ask her about Tim. What would her boyfriend think of Cody hanging out with her family on a Friday night? But it was pointless. Nothing about Bailey and Tim made sense, so asking her about him would only confuse him more. Instead he smiled. “We’ll see.” He tried to back away without hugging her. The nearness of her was more than he could take—especially after being with her all night.
But she closed the distance and put her arms around his neck. Her hug lasted longer than any she’d given him since they’d found their friendship again. “Come back, Cody,” she whispered near his ear. “I need you. We all do.” She eased away, but only far enough so she could look into his eyes.
With her this close, he could feel her kiss on his lips, imagine what it would be like with her in his embrace. But before he lost all control, he gritted his teeth and slipped free of her grasp. “I’ll try.” He worked to keep his expression even. “I need you guys too.” He stepped out onto the porch and gave her a single last wave. “See ya, Bailey.”
She didn’t answer him, not until he reached his car. As he opened the door, he heard her say, “You don’t get it, do you?”
He stopped and turned toward her. “What?”
“Nothing.” She crossed her arms in front of her and moved back into her house. “Bye, Cody.”
He waved again, climbed into his car, and drove slowly down the driveway. What a great night. His game with the boys, and his great talk with Jim. The fact that Ryan Taylor wanted him on the field Monday afternoon. Laughing with Bailey. The apartment he shared with his three roommates would feel lonely indeed after so many hours with the Flanigans. The night was perfect. He pictured Tim Reed waiting at home for Bailey.
Okay, almost perfect.
The closer he got to home, the less he thought about the night and the more he thought about Bailey’s last words. What
could she possibly have meant?
You don’t get it
? She was wrong if that’s what she’d really said. Of course he got it. No matter how wonderful their time together, or how well he fit with her family, Bailey had a boyfriend. Period.
What else was there to understand?
C
HASE STEADIED HIS NERVES AS HE
drove the few miles from his house to the Ellisons’. He was dreading the next few hours and excited about them all the same. He’d never felt more right about anything in his life.
Once he got home after the premiere, once he walked through the door, the strangest thing happened. Kelly and the girls were in the backyard, so they didn’t hear him come in. He set down his bags and walked to the back of the house. He stood at the kitchen sink and watched them through an open window, listened to their happy laughter, really studied them.
Kelly was taking turns pushing Molly and Macy on the swings, and all three of them giggled and talked as they played together. As Molly’s swing slowed down, she reached back and took hold of Kelly’s hand. “You’re the best mommy in the whole world.”
“And you’re the best little Molly.” Kelly kissed the top of their daughter’s head.
“That means I’m the best Macy, right Mommy?” Their blonde little one leaned back, grinning at Kelly. She still looked pale, but clearly she was feeling better. “Right?”
“Of course.” She kissed Macy’s head next. “You’re both the best daughters ever.”
“And don’t forget about Daddy.” Molly looked from her mother to her sister. “He’s the best daddy too.”
Chase strained closer, wanting to hear every word.
“Yes.” Kelly set one hand on each girl’s shoulder. “Daddy loves you very much.”
That’s when it happened. Macy said something she might not have meant, but something Chase was convinced he was supposed to hear. Her smile fell away and she looked truly sad. Scared even. “Sometimes…I forget what Daddy looks like.”
The comment almost dropped Chase to his knees. His four-year-old daughter sometimes forgot what he looked like? Was that what making movies was doing to his family? He stood breathless, watching the scene play out.
“Honey,” Kelly was quick to his defense. “You know what Daddy looks like. He’s home almost every weekend.”
“But he’s busy when he’s home.” Molly’s expression fell too. She reached out and took hold of her sister’s hand. “On the ’puter.” She looked at Macy. “Sometimes I forget his voice.”
Chase felt a piercing shock, and sudden tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. Molly too? She was six this year. If she couldn’t remember how he sounded, then he was doing something wrong. There was instantly no doubt in his mind. Kelly told the girls they could video chat with their daddy more often. “Then you won’t forget so easily.”
Chase had heard enough.
Standing there in the kitchen the answer was suddenly so loud it might as well have been blared through a loudspeaker right in his face. Pastor Hastings and his team had believed Chase to be at the top of a list of candidates to replace the youth pastor. Not because the team was unaware of his work in Hollywood. To the contrary. Because they were very well aware of his work, and the way it had taken him away from home week after week after week. Perhaps the email wasn’t something to be dismissed as a crazy idea, but rather God throwing him a life rope.
Before his little girls didn’t know him anymore.
Chase wiped at his eyes and moved to the back patio door. His heart was heavy, but a bright ray of light shone through the
shadows that had gathered there. He opened the door just as his girls turned to see him.
“Daddy!” They cried out his name at the same time, flying off the swings and into his arms. Kelly walked up more slowly, her eyes warm and full of love. She wasn’t angry with him or disappointed. She would defend his work in Hollywood even when their daughters were painfully honest about the cost.
But in that moment he knew something as clearly as he knew his name. His days of leaving his family were over. Someone else could help Keith change the world through the power of film. His mission field was here with his wife and daughters. As a youth pastor, he would be around them all the time. Kelly could teach Sunday school, maybe help out at the church office in future years when the girls were at school.
Most of all they could be a family again—something he hadn’t realized he’d given up until now. That night in their bedroom he told Kelly what he’d seen when he came home, what he’d heard. And what he planned to do. “I’m not going back to Hollywood next week,” he told her. “I want to be home, Kelly. I’ve been praying for an answer about how to handle the time away and God gave me one. It couldn’t be any clearer.”
She shook her head, not believing his words at first. Then a hesitant smile grew until it filled her face. “I never…never would’ve asked you to give this up,” she told him. “But I’ve been praying too. I want you home so badly, Chase. Someone will make those movies. God will find the right person.” She hugged him for a long time. “I remember when we first got married, how you wanted to teach kids about God.”
“I figured the mission field was God’s answer to that desire.” He kissed her, a kiss that shared the promise of all that suddenly lay before them. “Until now.” He would’ve thought he’d have more angst about the situation. That he’d feel at least a little torn. Instead he felt nothing but peace. He stroked Kelly’s hair and he
thought about what his daughters had said. “You know what’s scary?”
She looked into his eyes, loving him. “What?”
“I had forgotten what they sounded like too. Their little voices, the way they laugh.” A shiver ran down his arms, and the image of Kendall flashed in his mind. “I almost lost it all, Kelly.” He pressed the side of his face to hers. “Thank God I came home when I did.” He breathed in deep and laughed out loud. As he did he swung Kelly around. “You know how I feel?”
“How?” she laughed like she hadn’t since he started working with Keith.
“Like life is just beginning for us.” He let his smile drop off a bit. “I’m sorry, Kel. I didn’t know how much time it would take and I…I hurt you in the process.” He put his hand on her cheek. “Forgive me?”
“I have.” She leaned in and tenderly kissed him, letting her lips linger as if to convince him. “I forgave you a long time ago. I knew if any change would come, it would have to come from God, not me.” She smiled and her eyes lit up the way they’d done when she was a new bride. “And now it has.”
He could hardly wait for morning to call Pastor Hastings. That call, too, had confirmed everything he now felt about his future. “I’ve prayed about your offer,” he told the man. “I’d like to accept the position. I think it’ll be good for me and my family.”
“I expected your call.” The pastor was a serious sort, and his tone now showed not a bit of surprise over Chase’s acceptance. “God told me you needed this change.”
Chase choked up, and he coughed to find his voice again. “The funny thing is, a long time ago it was my dream to be a youth pastor.”
“Yes.” There was a smile in the pastor’s voice. “God told me that too.” He paused. They talked about getting Chase’s ordination
papers in order, and Pastor Hastings grinned. “When would you like to start?”
Chase’s mind raced. He could hardly start the job while Keith was taking meetings in LA, assuming Chase would be back at it come Monday. “Can I have a week?”
“Of course.” Pastor Hastings was almost matter-of-fact about the news. “I’ll share your acceptance with the team.” His tone warmed. “We’re excited to have you aboard, Chase.”
“Yes, sir.” Chase’s mind raced. Was he really doing this? Changing directions so completely when everything in Hollywood was going so well? He blinked, clearing his mind. “I’m excited too.” He thought about telling the news to Keith. He was excited and terrified at the same time. His friend would certainly struggle to understand any of this.
The next part was the best of all—telling the girls. Sunday before church, Chase helped Kelly make scrambled eggs and slice up fresh fruit. Over the meal, Chase set his napkin down and grinned at his precious daughters. “I have news for you.”
“I know.” Molly looked nervous. “You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”
Chase swapped a long smile with Kelly, and under the table he reached for her hand. He turned his attention back to Molly. “No sweetheart, I’m not leaving.”
Macy clapped her hands together. “You’re staying home an extra day! Goody, Daddy. We can play hide-and-go-seek, okay?”
Chase and Kelly laughed. “Yes, sweetie. We can play hide-and-seek as much as you like.” He reached across the table with his free hand and covered Macy’s fingers with his own. “Daddy’s not going away anymore, honey.”
Molly’s mouth fell open, and Macy tilted her head, clearly confused. Molly’s question came first. “But…you have to be in Lollywood for the movies, right?”
He smiled, but he bit his lip. This was a serious moment, and he needed his girls to understand the change about to take place in their lives. “I’m not going to make movies anymore.”
“So you can stay home and play with us?” Macy’s eyes lit up.
“Sort of.” Chase couldn’t contain his excitement. As crazy and uncertain as the change might seem to anyone else, he had not one bit of regret over this decision. “Daddy’s going to work at church. Teaching the kids.”
Molly was on her feet now, her eyes so wide they could see the whites all the way around them. “If you work here, you can tuck me in at night!”
Peace and joy spread through him, assuring him he would look back on this time decades from now and know—absolutely know—it was a gift from God. “That’s right, baby. Daddy’s going to be here every night to tuck you in.”
She danced in circles around the dining room. “Daddy’s staying home…Daddy’s staying home…my daddy’s staying home!”
Macy joined her then, grabbing hold of her sister’s hands and dancing with her. “Yay! Daddy’s staying home!”
Kelly was laughing and crying at the same time, dabbing at her tears as she watched their girls celebrate. Chase stood and helped Kelly to her feet, holding her close, rocking her to the sound of their daughters’ laughing and singing and dancing.
“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.” He whispered to her. Then he kissed her softly. “My girls will never have to wonder what I look like again.”
“There’s just one thing left to do.” Kelly framed his face with her hands, and a ripple of concern crossed her otherwise joyful face.
“What’s that?” Chase was so happy, so sure this was the miraculous answer he’d prayed for; he couldn’t imagine what might cause Kelly any concern at all.
She hesitated, studying him. “You have to tell Keith.”
The memory faded, and a ripple of fear stirred the otherwise calm waters in his soul. Because now that’s exactly what he was going to do. Kelly offered to come, but Chase asked her to stay home with the girls. He had joined forces with Keith in Jeremiah Productions. Now it would be his responsibility to tell Keith he was moving on. When he wasn’t playing hide-and-seek or taking the girls to the park and the zoo, Chase had prayed all week that his friend would understand. That their friendship could survive his decision to leave.
Chase turned onto Keith’s street, drove past four houses, and parked. His stomach was in his throat by the time he reached the front door.
God, give me Your peace. Help Keith understand I’m not crazy, that this is the best thing I can do for my family. Please, God…
My son, anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. Go forward now and do what you know to do.
The answer that resonated through him came from something he’d heard from Pastor Hastings halfway through the week. They’d talked several times since Chase’s acceptance. Chase had a feeling they were going to be close friends, that the older man would become an important mentor to him and his family.
He knocked and waited. Scripture was clear about the list of sins, choices people made that separated them from God. But something sometimes overlooked was the admonition from James, chapter four, where God reminded people that sin was also knowing the good one was supposed to do, and not doing it. Chase was convinced without a doubt of the good he was supposed to do. He was being called back to his family, to a life of leading the kids of their church. Back to his first calling, really. If he didn’t respond, he would be in error. Certainly Keith would understand that.
His thoughts were still racing as Keith opened the door. He looked tired and worn down. “Come in.”
Chase followed him and saw that Lisa was already sitting in the living room. She, too, looked concerned. Clearly the two of them were expecting bad news. The whole room felt weighted by a layer of awkward tension. “Lisa…” He nodded at her.
“Hello, Chase.” She stood briefly. “Can I get you water? Coffee?”
Keith took the seat next to his wife and crossed his arms. He didn’t look angry. Just confused.
“No, thanks.” Clearly Chase had let too much time go by without explaining himself. They couldn’t go another moment with things feeling this strange between them. He felt sorry for the pain he was about to cause. With a heavy heart he sat opposite the two of them and leaned his forearms on his knees. “Let’s start by praying. Would that be okay?”
“Sure.” Keith looked at Lisa and then back at him. His tone was kind, despite his clear frustration. “We have no idea what’s coming, buddy. You go ahead.”
Chase closed his eyes and gripped his hands together. “Dear God, You’ve brought us here for an important meeting. We ask that Your Spirit of mercy and grace fall on this place, on each of us. That understanding would reign and love would prevail. Thank You for my great friends, Lord. Be with them and with me this night. In Your name, amen.”
A quiet round of amens followed, and in the silence afterward, Chase grabbed onto God’s strength. The time had come for him to explain himself. “A strange thing happened at the premiere.” He decided to downplay the temptation from that night, and focus instead on his family. After all, that had been what caused him to make the change. He drew a long breath, steadying his voice. “There we were,” he looked at Keith, “top of our game. But at the end of the night I felt like someone I didn’t recognize. For a lot of reasons, I guess.”
He told them about asking God for a way to reckon his family life with his life as a producer and director, and when he told them about seeing the footage of him and Kendall on the red carpet, an understanding filled Keith’s eyes. As if from that point on he could see where Chase was headed. Chase continued, telling them about coming home and hearing his little girls talk about not remembering what he looked like, what he sounded like.