TakeItOff (12 page)

One of my last roadshows at a casino had so many mishaps
that it was a clear sign to me to quit! It started when one of the guys came up
with the brilliant idea of baking special brownies. Not with regular pot, but
the hydro kind. He had never baked special brownies before, and he got his
instructions on YouTube and proceeded to bake a standard batch. Or so he
thought. He ended up baking a batch that was four times more potent than usual.

Three of us had to take a plane to Dallas where I would meet
up with the rest of the crew. Then we would be off to Kansas City, and from
there would drive two hours to the casino. So I decided to eat a few brownies
on the morning of our trip. Not smart. I just seemed to lose track of time and
take forever to leave the house. We ended up getting to the check-in ten
minutes late and missed our flight. I had used my credit card and prepaid for
everything, which meant if we didn’t get to the show, I was out over three
thousand dollars! Luckily, we caught another flight four hours later, and
landed in Kansas City two and a half hours before show time. We still had to
gather a lot of luggage because of props and costumes and get the rental car.

By the time we loaded up and left the airport, we had
exactly enough time to get to the club. At this point, I was thinking, “Sweet!
We are gonna make it!”

Immediately after leaving the airport, the guys all dove
into the brownies. Little did I know, one of the guys had never done drugs. Not
even weed. Halfway through the drive, this guy asked to get out of the car to
stretch his legs. We were pretty cramped, so I understood. I begrudgingly
agreed. Five minutes later, we were back on the road. Another ten minutes
passed, and now this guy seems to be parched. No big deal, except we had no
water. So I tell him to calm down because we only had thirty minutes to go.

Miraculously, we got there only five minutes late. The show
was sold out. We were hurrying like there was no tomorrow. Except for this one
guy. He just walked off! After five minutes passed, the casino manager
approached me. “We have a problem!” she said. Now, I had a show that was
fifteen minutes late and more than five hundred screaming women waiting, and I
had to stop what I was doing to follow her down a long hallway. I saw the
dancer sitting on a chair surrounded by the casino manager, paramedics, police
officers and a few other casino workers. “He says you guys are trying to kill
him,” stated the officer.

“
Oh shit
!” I was thinking. “This motherfucker is
trying to get me arrested!”

I played it off as if I had no idea. I told them that we met
in Kansas City and I had no idea what he was talking about. The manager told me
to get the show going, and I left.

By the end of the show, the dancer was taken to the hospital
via ambulance, and we packed up ready to get the hell out of dodge! I was
worried the cops would find the rest of the brownies in the SUV. Luckily, we
made it to the hotel.

The next day, we went to the hospital to pick up the dancer
for our five-hour ride. When we got there, we discovered him lying in bed,
completely spaced out, with no IVs hooked up to him. He was still stoned! The
doctor was convinced that we were trying to kidnap him and threw us out of the
hospital. The guy’s dad ended up flying up to get him and take him home. It
wasn’t just his inexperience though. Those brownies were so strong I stayed
stoned for three days.

Outlaw Dave

No use in trying to convince those who have made up their mind
about male dancers. One day I was listening to the radio when a DJ called
Outlaw Dave started talking about male dancers and how disgusting they were. I
got furious, so I called in to the radio station and they put me on the air.
This was rush hour when people were going home from work. Houston had a big
market as well, and this was the number one rock station.

The DJ and I were going back and forth, and we talked for a
good ten to fifteen minutes. I tried to explain to him that male dancers are
not all the bad things he was saying on the air. After I got off the phone, I
tuned into the station and listened. The station took the conversation and edited
it to make me look bad. The way they edited it was hilarious—to everyone except
me and the other guys at the club.

For the next week, this was the hot topic every day on the
show. Outlaw Dave even sent his sidekick to the club I worked to try to get a
live on-air interview with the other dancers and waiters. The noise eventually
died down, as does everything, and over the years, I forgave but I never
forgot.

I later found out that Outlaw Dave had previously stripped
at the same club I worked at. He had put on a charity event at the club a few
years previously and had stripped onstage that night! I especially loved the
part where I was told he wore the smallest, most constraining thong. Ladies, you
ever wonder why we wear the elephant trunk bottoms to dance in? So our nuts don’t
look like peanuts! We need room for our cock and balls to breathe, and tiny
trunks look very stupid.

Armed with this new info about Outlaw Dave, I listened to
his station a few more times, hoping for the chance to call up and expose him
when the topic arose. It never did come up, so I figured it was over and went
back to my life as a stripper.

Fast-forward to the present. The incident is now eight or
nine years in the past. A movie called
Magic Mike
comes out and it makes
the art of male stripping relevant and cool. Our book is finished and awaiting
editing, we have done multiple radio, television and newspaper interviews
across the United States and Canada, and business is booming at my sports bar,
The End Zone. I figure I now have enough proof that male strippers can be more
than just dumb hunks, that they can be smart, morally upstanding and successful
entrepreneurs. I proceed to find out where he is working now. It isn’t easy. He
has gone from a number one rock station to a late-night local AM station.

I send him an email and get a response back in a short time,
asking me to call in at a certain time for the interview. My heart starts
beating faster. I think, “After all these years, I finally get retribution!” so
I decide to make the call.

I realize now that I had played that scenario over and over in
my mind as to what I would say to him, that somewhere along the line my anger
and my interest in vindication have died. The day arrives for me to call him. I
have been working at my bar all day and have already done three or four
interviews early that morning, and I completely forget about the call to Outlaw
Dave.

As I leave work and drive off in my truck, I look at the
clock and realize that I am minutes late calling in. I think, “Oh well, who
cares. I’m over it!” As soon as I think that, I find myself calling in. I immediately
get a voice on the other side asking me to hold. I can hear Outlaw Dave talking
on the air and now can hear him start to introduce me. My heart is beating
rapidly as I hear him tell his audience about our prior history together way
back in the day, and then he welcomes me. I gather my thoughts, take a deep
breath and start our live interview. With all of this information about him and
all the success I have been fortunate to have, I am completely ready for this
interview!

He starts out with a very nice, down-to-earth tone, one of
apology and regret. Before I can expose the dirt I have on him, he tells it all
himself! I am disappointed but still surprised and disarmed at how sincere he
is and how smooth and non-confrontational the interview is. He applauds the
success of my bar. He praises my upcoming book. He is a changed man, or so I
think. I enjoy the interview and we start to trade thank-yous and goodbyes.
Just before he takes me off the air, he asks, “What’s the name of your bar
again?”

I tell him, “The End Zone.”

That’s when he lands his last zinger. He asks if the name is
a reference to my rear end and before I can say “No, we are a huge football
bar,” he hangs up!

What a Way to Go

A few years ago, the local Houston news channel showcased a
one-hundred-year-old lady who was coming to our club to celebrate. The local
television news show did a ten-minute segment from the time she was at home
ready to party, to the limo ride, and then to the club. I was chosen to do my
cop routine with her onstage. The little old lady had more spunk than most
women one third of her age. She really seemed to enjoy the moment and
celebration. We were very careful to make sure she was not hurt and that she
had a great time. News channels all over the nation picked up the story and ran
with it. I had friends that saw me on their news channels, from Virginia to
Cleveland. The Jay Leno show caught wind of the story and invited her to the
show. Unfortunately, she passed away soon after her one hundredth birthday, but
we were glad to add some fun to her last year.

Taylor Cole and EC
author Kristin Daniels

Justin Whitfield

Chapter Nine:
Working Out—The Secrets

Justin

Ever wonder how strippers stay in such good shape? If you
take any guy off the street and have him eat, train and rest the same way we
do, he would easily, over time, become a better version of himself. Every time
a new rookie comes in, if he manages to make it more than a year, the gains in
his looks and abilities are huge.

Most people in the real world are too tired from work to
train, and if they still hit the gym, their bodies are already worn down from
work. Training too much becomes an issue because you are not letting your body
rest enough. Exercise. Nutrition. Rest. You must have ample amounts of all
three. As dancers, we get all the sleep we need. We may stay up late at night,
but we make up for it by sleeping in past noon.

When we wake up, we take a small brunch or protein shake,
and it’s gym time. Forty-five minutes to one hour is all you need. Four to five
days a week in the gym, EVERY WEEK! There is no vacation from the gym; it’s
part of your life. Seriously, after twenty years in the gym, I haven’t missed
more than five to six weeks. That was so I could recover from my knee surgery.
If you want a long dance career, consistency in the gym is a must! I’ve seen
many dancers try to dance past thirty, but they didn’t stay in shape. Hard
realization for them that they are no longer able to keep doing it.

After getting my certificate from The Cooper Institute for
personal training and being a national-level bodybuilding competitor for many
years, I’ve come up with an exercise and nutritional routine that is both easy
and effective.

Gym: Four days needed to hit all body parts.

Day 1
: chest/triceps

Day 2
: legs/glutes/cardio

Day 3
: back/biceps

Day 4
: shoulders/lunges

Day 5
(optional day): Do cardio for thirty minutes to
an hour. If you do only thirty minutes, do twenty to thirty minutes of weights.
Do whatever kind you want. Just lift and feel a burn!

Now let’s break down the days.

Chest
: Pick four or five different chest exercises. Do
three sets of eight to twelve reps each. This means if you are going to do
bench press, it counts as one of the five chest exercises, and you have to do
three sets of bench press for eight to twelve reps each set. If you go heavy,
you will hit fewer reps, thus if the weight is not too heavy, you will hit
twelve reps. Don’t cheat yourself! Reps without proper amounts of resistance
will not enable you to achieve your ideal look.

Rotate free weights and machines. Ladies, do more machines
than free weights, but the free weights are important. Free weights are the
barbells and dumbbells. If you’re not sure of the many different types of chest
workouts, watch someone who looks as if they know what they are doing and
emulate. The key is to feel that burn that comes from the “pump”. Remember,
being in the gym isn’t enough. Lifting light weights is not enough. You need to
exert effort. You need to get that heart rate up. Most importantly, you need to
be CONSISTENT! Be in the gym every week. It needs to be a routine and
preferably at the same time each day.

Legs/glutes/cardio
: The MOST important workout for
the ladies! Start off by doing twenty to thirty minutes of cardio. This will
warm up your knees, joints and legs. Women, do lunges until you can do no more.
Lunges with about ten- to twenty-five-pound dumbbells in each hand and for
twenty to thirty steps forward for three to four sets. Do not do these in
place. Try to find a strip of the gym that will allow you to walk twenty to
thirty steps forward without walking into anyone or anything. Even the guys
will benefit more from lunges than from squatting. Most people aren’t aware of
the huge benefits of lunges. They will make your glutes look like you are
twenty-five again. Your hammys will be toned as well.

Back/biceps
: Do three or four exercises for your back
and two or three exercises for your biceps. Do three sets each time with eight
to twelve reps each set.

Shoulders/lunges
: Four or five shoulder exercises,
then burn out with lunges!

Daily cardio can be added. Dancers get plenty of cardio
working, so we tend to do less in the gym on the treadmill.

Nutrition

DO NOT call it a diet! No negative words. Diets always end
and good nutrition is a lifestyle choice. Here are some tips as to how we keep
our six-packs all year long.

Six days a week we avoid dessert, sugar, added sodium, fats
and grease. This doesn’t mean we cut them out completely, but we ingest only
small amounts. Day seven, Sunday, is cheat day! I eat anything and everything.
Sundays become so very special to you when you have waited all week to eat all
the bad stuff you had been avoiding. My abs will be completely gone by Monday
morning. This is mostly due to the excess sodium. Fat takes much longer to
settle and be seen on your body. Sodium makes you hold water and that effect is
why the abs look like they are gone. Cut out your sodium intake for a few days
and watch a little excess water weight disappear. That is a trick we use to get
leaner by the weekends.

If we go out to eat during the week, we order grilled
chicken or baked/blackened fish with brown rice or veggies. Sensible, healthy
meals. Avoid all cheap meals—that is, fast foods—due to the fact they usually
contain everything bad and nothing good.

Food Tips

1. Eat your meals in smaller portions and spread out your
food intake to five or six meals per day. This, over time, will help to get
your body burning fat faster. It helps to speed up the metabolism.

2. Do not eat anything two hours before bed. You need time
to burn the calories off before lying down.

3. Do not add salt to anything! Food has enough in it
already.

4. Do not use condiments that are full of fat. Mustard is a great
substitute for mayo. Ketchup is okay. Salad dressings are very unhealthy for
the most part, so try to use vinegar or a low-sodium/low-fat dressing. Some
dressings may have more fat than the meal!

5. Soda may contain more sugar than your meal. Drink water.
Drink lots of water. If water tastes too bland, add Crystal Light or sugar-free
Kool-Aid. Giving up that sugary drink is much easier than giving up that juicy
hamburger.

6. Instead of red meat, eat more fish and poultry. Also, eat
lots of vegetables, especially the green, leafy ones.

7. Supplementation is important. Take a fat burner before
the gym, and at least two to five meals per week should be protein shakes. One
scoop per day is enough for women. They do not need the same amounts as a man.

If you can’t remember all of this, just remember: Eat your
normal daily foods, but in a twenty-five percent smaller portion. That works
too. Your abs may not be as lean, but you will lose weight!

Exercise and diet are not an exact science. We are still
learning many things. It seems that every other year, there is this huge
popular diet, whether it has you cutting out carbs, fat, sugars or sodium. Just
remember, it’s called a healthy lifestyle for a reason. It’s a lifestyle. I can’t
help but to really try to emphasize that. The fad diets might work to help you
lose weight fast, but they are not usually good for the long term.

Quite frankly, there IS NO shortcut to a fit and healthy
lifestyle. I compare someone who is trying to change their bad eating habits to
professors weeding out freshmen in a college course. Terribly hard at first,
but after time, it becomes the norm and is nowhere near as hard. I like to use
the diet cola example. I used to think diet soda was the worst! I couldn’t
stand it. One time, I remember putting sugar in my diet soda because I was out
of regular cola. Now, after many years of eating right and skipping regular
soda, I love diet cola and hate the sugary cola! I hate it more than I used to hate
diet soda. It’s all about getting your body and mind acclimated to a healthy
life.