Her eyes went down then, as the prospect of his impending departure, and a future that was already moving them in different directions, stole over her in a horrible, swamping wave. She leaned back against the rock so that he could no longer see her face and tried to tell herself that this wasn’t as bad as it felt, but the ache in her heart wouldn’t be moved.
In the end she was the first to break the silence, though it took several attempts to push the words past the pain, and make them strong enough to be heard. And even then the emotion was catching so hard on her heart, it was as though it was trying to pull the words back. ‘I know … I know you don’t love me,’ she finally managed, ‘but I hope we can always be friends.’
She waited, keeping her eyes fixed to the ground and hardly daring to breathe as the seconds ticked by. Then she felt him reaching for her hand, and turning her to face him he looked far into her eyes. ‘Me too,’ he
whispered
.
He continued his gaze, and as she returned it she felt an ocean of tears rise from her heart. Then she found herself laughing at how silly he looked in that hat, and the tears overflowed. Oh God, he really was such a very, very special man and this was so very much harder than she’d expected.
He smiled and waited for her to look at him again, then leaning forward he put his mouth gently over hers. Her lips trembled, then a sob suddenly escaped from all the emotion that was caught in her chest. But it was OK. Everything was all right. She accepted that he didn’t love her, she truly did – she just hoped that one day someone might.
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Copyright © Susan Lewis 1999
Susan Lewis has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
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First published in Great Britain in 1999 by
William Heinemann
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ISBN 9780099534341