Taking Chances (The Chances and Choices Duology - Book 1 of 2 - Contemporary Romance) (15 page)

I had requested a meeting with my ladies. Annie,
Courtney and I were sitting around the kitchen table, and the two of them were
having a rowdy discussion. They were supposed to be helping me sort out my
feelings, but it seemed they each had very different opinions about what I
should do.

They were on their second bottle of our favorite
soft red wine, and they were starting to get more vehement in their arguing. I
was drinking water because I wanted to keep a clear head as I worked through
the mess I had made of my love life.

“Seth is sweet and kind, and he really cares
about her. He’s the better long-term investment.” This came from Court.

“Long-term investment?” Annie nearly screeched.
“We aren’t discussing annuities here. We are talking about love. She has
passion with Sam.” She reached over to grab my hand. “You have to follow your
passion, Sweetie.”

“Passion burns out and then what are you left
with?” Courtney countered. “You need to choose the one that you can have a
future with.”

“Love isn’t meant to be solid and dependable.
It’s meant to be fun and exciting. If we find moments of pure joy, we should
cherish and embrace them, even if they are short-lived. You can’t deny your
reaction to Sam. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you are meant to be
with him.”

“She has passion with Seth. It’s just slower
burning than what she has with Sam, which means it will last longer. This hot
flash of lust with Sam will fizzle out in no time.” Courtney refilled their
wine glasses as she said it.

“So, what if it does?” Annie countered. “It will
be amazing while it lasts. There’s no guarantee that things will last with Seth
either.”

“It’s a lot more likely than her chances of
making it work with Sam,” Courtney countered.

I let them bicker, lost in my own thoughts. They
both made valid arguments. I had been struggling with the same points for the
last few days. I had hoped that the two of them would be able to help me figure
out the right answer, but they were like the two sides of my conscience that
had been warring it out.

I wasn’t sure if there was a ‘right’ answer. How
could I choose between kind, caring, grow-old-together love and hot, steamy
can’t-get-enough-of-each-other passion for each other? Which was better? Which
was right for me? Which did I want?

I returned my attention back to Annie and
Court’s conversation just in time to hear them come to an agreement. “One
thing’s for sure,” Court held up her glass to toast. “She needs to make a
decision soon and stick with it.”

“Here, here.” Annie clinked her glass with
Court’s.

I picked up my water glass and chimed in. I
fully agreed that I needed to make a choice for all of our sakes. The problem
was, I had no idea who to choose.

It was like having two fabulous, but very
different showcases on the ‘Price is
Right
’. Time was
quickly ticking away and I had to make my decision, but how could I pick?

I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted and
still uncertain about what I should do. I had spent the night tossing and
turning and making up my mind and then changing it.

First, I had decided to choose Seth. I had
always wanted to have a family, and Seth was the ideal person to make a family
with. He would be a wonderful husband and father, and I would be lucky to have
him. We would have beautiful babies that looked like him, and we would live
happily ever after.

Relief had swept over me. I had made a decision,
and I was going to stick with it. Then, I began to picture going to Davis
family events with Seth, and seeing Sam with a constant parade of leggy ‘I’ girls.
I pictured him ramming his fabulous cock into them while their perfect, fake,
plastic tits never moved. The thought made me cringe. I wanted that cock to be
ramming me.

I had sat up in my bed, sweating and feeling
nauseous. I couldn’t handle seeing Sam with those women, even in my
imagination. When it really happened, I would be desperate from wanting him. If
he showed the slightest bit of weakness in his resolve to avoid me, I would cave
into my desires and sleep with him. Seth would inevitably find out about the
affair and divorce me.

Okay, so I couldn’t have my ‘happily ever after’
with Seth because I wouldn’t be able to resist his brother. Since that was the
case, I decided to flip-flop my decision and choose Sam. There, the decision
was made, so I turned over and tried to go to sleep.

Sam and I would have a hot, satisfying sex life.
We couldn’t get enough of each other, and we would probably nearly kill each
other in our attempts to bang each other’s brains out. It would be fantastic.

Our life together would be mind-blowing, at
least for a year or two, but eventually, the passion would subside.
What will we have left then?
I tried to
picture us a few years down the road. I couldn’t imagine things working out in
the long-term with Sam.

Would he be bored with me, and sleeping with ‘I’
girls on the side? Would he not bother with sneaking around and just leave me?

I visualized what Seth’s life would be like
without me. He would meet someone wonderful, who was deserving of all that he
had to offer. They would have a family and grow old together. In this scenario,
I wanted what this imaginary lady had, and, irrationally, I wanted to gouge her
eyes out.

I was appalled with myself. I had no right to
lay claim to two men, but that is exactly what I had done. I couldn’t see a way
for this to work out well. I was going to be consumed by jealousy when the twin
I didn’t choose moved on, even though I had no right to be.
What the hell was wrong with me?

I realized then that I needed to do some
soul-searching and work on myself before I would be ready to move forward with
a romantic relationship with anyone. Something was terribly wrong when I was
paralyzed about making a decision between two amazing men because I didn’t want
to give up the other one.

It was selfish and embarrassing, and I needed to
get over myself. I needed to give myself some space from this love triangle and
work through what to do.

I used our home phone to call Annie and ask for
a week off, which she gladly agreed to give me. I packed a small bag, said
goodbye to Buster (who gave me one tail thump upon hearing his name), picked up
a new smartphone at the cellular store and stopped by Joe’s to give Court a
goodbye hug. I texted both of the Davis boys and told them I was leaving town
for a week, and that I would be in touch when I got back. Then, I turned the
phone to silent mode and lit out of Dodge!

I didn’t go far. I discovered a small, lakefront
motel that was about a half-hour drive up the coast from Harbor Shores. Marta,
the friendly, matronly woman behind the front desk gave me a rate for the week and
an actual, metal key for my room’s door. It had been a while since I had seen
one of those, and I knew instantly that I had found the right place to stay.

My room was small, but clean and functional. I
unpacked my travel bag and took a walk along the lakeshore. I found some
colorful rocks along the way and placed them in the pocket of my hoodie. The
wind off the lake was clean and refreshing. If I couldn’t sort out my feelings
in this wonderful spot, then I was a hopeless mess.

I spent the week walking the shoreline, eating
in the diner two doors down from my motel and simply relaxing. It was nice not
to have anywhere to be at a certain time. Well, almost no place to be.

I had settled into the habit of having tea with
Marta in the lobby of the motel a few times a day. She was a lovely woman who
was proud of her numerous grandchildren, and I had seen pictures of all ten of
them.

Marta had been extremely tactful so far and only
asked polite questions about where I was from and my occupation, but today it
seemed that her curiosity was getting the better of her. When I refilled our
tea mugs and returned to sit on the lobby sofa with her, I was expecting to
hear more about one of her grandchildren’s latest antics; but instead she
patted my knee and asked, “What are you running from, Sweet Girl?”

“I’m not running.” I started to fib, but the
look she gave me told me that she could see right through me. “Okay, I am
running because I’m trying to stall having to make a decision between two men.”

“That’s a good problem to have.” She chuckled as
she said it, but then she turned serious. “I had two men who wanted me once, and
I’ve wondered every day since then if I ended up with the right one.”

Her words surprised me. I had expected some hogwash
about following your heart and knowing the right answer deep down. I didn’t
want to spend the rest of my life regretting my decision or even questioning
it.

“How did you decide between them?” I asked her.
Truly curious about how she made her decision and hoping for a better solution
than the flip a coin or
eeny-meeny-miney-mo
options
that I had been considering.

She answered me sadly, “I waited so long that
one of them dropped out of the race. Not making the decision became my decision
because I only had one option left.”

She was deep in thought as she continued. “I
loved my Harry.” I already knew that Harry was her late husband. She had tears
in her eyes as she continued. “We had a wonderful life and family together. I
wish that I had chosen him, though, instead of just taking him because he was
the last man standing. He deserved to be my pick.”

She gave me some advice then. “Don’t wait too
long, Honey. Make a decision and stick with it. Let the one you choose know without
a doubt that he is the one you want.” I nodded at her. Her suggestion made
sense, and it was what I wanted to do more than anything. It was just such an
enormous, important choice, and I didn’t want to screw it up.

I suddenly wondered about the other man. Did he
still pine for Marta? Had he moved on and built a life for himself? Was he
happy? As if reading my mind, Marta said, “Danny, the other boy, got married shortly
after Harry and I did. I think people call him ‘Dan’ now, but he’ll always be
my Danny.”

I smiled, trying to picture a young Marta with
Harry and Danny fighting for her attention. The similarities between our
stories were striking, and I had to know if she felt like fate had stepped in
or if she could have been happy with either man.

“Do you think you and Danny would have had a
good life together, if things had worked out differently?”

She considered for a moment before answering.
“Yes,” she finally answered, nodding. “We would have had a happy family life
together, but things turned out the way they were meant to be.”

What was left of the tea in our mugs had gone
tepid, so I rose to take them to the sink. After I washed them, I turned to ask
Marta a question before going back to my room. “Are you sure Danny is still
married?” At her perplexed look, I continued. “His wife could have passed away.
They could be divorced. It’s probably worth checking into.”

She sat there for a moment, pondering that
before responding. “Yes, I think that might be worth looking into.” We grinned
at each other, and I walked outside to return to my room. I had a good feeling
that Marta might soon be getting her chance with the one that got away.

My week at Marta’s motel had gone by quickly. I
had spent the time soul-searching, yet I still wasn’t any closer to having a
decision about which Davis twin was right for me. Before leaving, I promised to
call Marta soon to let her know what I decided. I didn’t mention it, but I
would also want to know what she found out about Danny. I secretly hoped that
this would be the right time for Marta and Danny to be together.

We gave each other a hug, and I headed home to
face the music. I wouldn’t be able to avoid Seth and Sam forever, or one of
them would likely give up on me, like Danny had on Marta. Or worse yet, both of
them could give up. This indecisiveness wasn’t fair to any of us, so I needed
to just make a decision and stick with it.

I fretted all the way home, making up my mind
and changing it numerous times.
This is
ridiculous.
I finally told myself.
I
don’t deserve either of them, so I should just let them both go.

I didn’t know if I had the strength to do that,
but I knew it would be best for all of us. The idea of facing either of the
brothers while I was with his twin was unfathomable. It would be awkward and
uncomfortable for all three of us.
They
really would be better off without me.

The fact that I had slept with both of them
would just cause bitterness and jealousy between them. They had already had a
fight because of me. I didn’t want to cause any more turmoil in their lives.

The answer to my dilemma had been staring me in
the face the whole time. I just hadn’t been willing to admit it because I didn’t
want to give them up. I needed to let them go, though. It was the healthiest
choice for all of us.

They would be able to move on with two different
women, and I could move on with my life. I had a perfectly happy, fulfilling
existence before I met them, so I could be content without them.

It would take a while to get over the heartache
of losing them, but it was something I needed to do for all of our sakes. It
would be so difficult to give them up, but I vowed to be strong and stick with
my decision.

When I walked into our house, Courtney asked me
immediately, “So, who is it going to be?”

“Neither of them.” She looked at me like I was
crazy, so I continued. “They are identical twin brothers, and I have slept with
both of them. There isn’t a good way to move on with either of them now. I
don’t want to mess up their relationship with each other, any more than I
already have. Besides, it would be so awkward to be around the brother that I
wasn’t with. I can’t have a future with either of them, and they are both
better off without me.”

“First of all, either of them would be lucky to
have you. There is no one better than you.” Courtney was adamant, so I didn’t
bother to argue with her. “Secondly, you’re all adults. People sleep together
all the time. Sure, it might be awkward at first, but you’ll all move on and
probably even forget about it eventually.”

I couldn’t imagine ever forgetting about
sleeping with Seth or Sam. “It’s just not in the cards.” I said to Court. “I
think we’ll all be better off, if I just let them both go.”

“I thought you really cared about them?”

“I do.” I answered simply. Then I added, “No one
said it would be easy.” I gave her a sad smile before carrying my bag up to my
room. Once in my room, I shut my door and texted Sam and Seth. I sent them both
the same message. “I can’t see you anymore.”

My phone buzzed with responses almost
immediately. Seth’s text read, “So, you’ve made your decision? Can we talk?”

Sam’s message said simply, “I don’t accept that.
I’m on my way over.”

I sighed and slid down to the floor. I had been
a coward to try to end things with them by text message. They deserved better,
and it appeared that they were both going to demand more. I just hoped that I
had the willpower to resist them in person. I silently vowed to stick to my
guns.