Taking Courage (15 page)

“She'd
like to meet you.” She set the frame back on her desk.

“You
told her about me?” He didn't come any closer, but Janna craved his touch, his
reassurance she was doing the right thing. His touch could remind her of all
the reasons she shouldn't go home again.

“She
wanted to know why I sounded different. I told her I'd met someone that makes
me happy.” Janna stood and walked around her desk. “This week has been
challenging, but it’s also been the best of my life.” She cocked her head at
him when he didn’t come closer.

“I
don't want to influence whatever is going on in that head of yours.”

“Why not?
I’d hoped you’d
have an opinion.”

“I
can't make any guarantees about us.” He let the unsaid words linger between
them. “I can't guarantee Keller will get the funding back.” He removed the gap
between them and rubbed her shoulders. “There’s a fine balance between control
and domination.” He lifted her chin. “I won’t force you to stay. You need to do
what is right for you. This is your opportunity to choose.”

“Okay,
but...” Pain stung the backs of her eyes. “Is that all you have to say to me?”

“I
have a million different things I want to say to you, but I want the decision
to stay to be yours.” He placed his hand over her heart. “I don't want you to
make it for any other reason than your own.”

“If
I choose to stay, do you want me to come tonight?” She covered his hand with
hers and dug her fingers in, securing him to her.

“I'll
be at the club tonight.” His gaze lifted to her eyes. “If you choose to stay,
we'll talk there.”

“But
I'm not ready for tonight. We haven't talked about what you’d expect of me.”

“If
you come, you'll be fine as you are.” He tried to pull away.

She
tugged back on his hand and waited until he returned his gaze to hers. “Thank
you.”

She
let him go and watched him leave, holding onto her own hand and the comfort his
touch left behind. She couldn't let him go or his inexplicable ability not to
pressure her.

Janna
sank into her chair and fought the urge to cry and throw things. All her life
she'd been pressured to do one thing or another. She didn't know what to think
about Simon's no-pressure approach, except it was full of pressure.

He
cared enough to want her to stay for her reasons and not his, but he didn't
know the whole story. Would he want the girl who was tearing apart the company
he worked for?

She
wanted Simon and everything her new life in Chicago offered, but how much of that
would be left once her father had his way? He'd pulled one string, and now the
funding for her project was gone. She had no idea how many more strings her
father had, but she wasn't willing to risk Keller's company.

Her
life would go back to an unwelcomed smothering of control. Her father stole her
choices and demanded control over her decisions while Simon dominated her body
and insisted her choices be her own. Both men showed their love, but only one
of them listened to what she wanted. Only one of them knew her.

Unfortunately,
her father was stealing her choice to stay. Janna grabbed hold of her neck and
let her eyes close. The pull of her hand reminded her of Simon's touch. She got
up and walked to the window.

In
that moment, she hated her father and even resented her mother. Put family
first had been branded on her from a young age, and where had it gotten her? Forced
into a life she didn't want. She rocked back and forth a few times and squeezed
her eyes shut.

Keller
hadn't fired her yet, but he didn't know how far her father would go. Even if
Marcus and Gina got this investor back, she was sure her father would find
another way. She couldn't put Keller through it. She pressed her forehead
against the cool glass and let her eyes close.

“What
do you want, Janna?”

She
turned and found Keller at her door.

“What
do you want?”

“It
doesn't matter now. My father's opened a
door,
and the
only way to close it is for me to go home.” Janna ran her fingers through her
hair and turned back to the ravine. “I'm sorry I put you through this.”

“Janna.”
The cold alarm
of his voice turned her around. “The only thing that scares me about your
father is the way he treats you.” He walked into her office. “I've built my
life around giving people what they need, and it's made me a lot of friends in
this city.”

“What
are you saying?”

“I'm
trying to remind you that the only reason to run home is because that's where
you want to be. I’m more than capable of holding my company together.” He grabbed
hold of her shoulders. “The choice is yours, Janna. Ask yourself what you're
willing to fight for, and then go fight for it.”

She
stood motionless for a long moment after Keller left her office. The day she
met Simon, she wondered if he'd fight for her. Today, she realized he'd given
her what she needed most. He’d given her something worth fighting for.

A
giggle bubbled up, and a realization struck home. Her father truly didn't know
her. He didn't know what she was capable of. Her father may have pushed all her
buttons, but the choice was still hers.

She
would stay and fight. She'd fight for her new career, and she'd fight for
Simon.

That
was her choice.

“How
are you doing?”

She
looked up to find Anne and Lydia at her door. The worry twins were back. “You
two have impeccable timing. I need your help.” In all the things her father had
taught her, he’d completely missed explaining water could be as thick as blood.

Chapter Ten

Simon
paced his apartment. He’d gone home after his conversation with Janna, knowing
he wouldn’t be able to get any work done. The pacing only stopped momentarily
while he opened his front door for Jake.

“Thanks
for coming over.”

“Of
course, but you better thank Lydia. She convinced me to check on you.”

“I
miss the days when I was enjoying watching you squirm over her.”

“I
bet.” Jake walked into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge.

“I
shouldn’t have left her alone.” Simon glanced at his clock, convinced the
minutes were moving slower.
“Keller and his crazy advice.”

“Don’t
second guess yourself.” Jake handed him a beer. “You told me yourself that
Janna needs to work through this on her own.”

“What
time is it? I think my clock needs new batteries.” He checked his pockets and
pulled out his phone and took a deep breath.

“Why
don’t you sit down? We have a few hours yet before we need to be at the club.”

“I
should have followed her father and made sure he left town alone.” Simon sat on
the couch and took a swig of his beer. “He’s a real piece of work. I’m not sure
what I’ll do if she moves home.”

“I
don’t think you’re going to have to worry about that.”

“Don’t
be so sure.” He rubbed his knee. “I hardly gave her much reason to stay. I
didn’t treat her real well at the start of the week and haven’t told her what
she means to me. I probably don’t look like much of an alternative.”

“That’s
bullshit. There might have been a misunderstanding to begin with, but you two
worked past that and found a reason to get to know each other. Your feelings
for her are real, and I’d bet hers for you are, too.”

“I
have been looking out for her needs.” He checked the clock again. “I can’t
stand this waiting.”

“Let’s
order some food. We’ll watch the game while we eat.” Jake grabbed the remote.
“If there’s still time, we can hit the gym at the club before we go in.”

Hours
later, Simon entered the club after a long shower. He’d worked his arms hard on
the bag, but the ache wasn’t keeping his mind off of Janna. He lowered his
sorry ass onto a bar stool, ordered a bottle of water, and rested his head on
his arms. The wait was taking its toll.

*****

Janna
had positioned herself in the middle of a group of people who not only
understood her, but helped her with what she wanted most. This was what family
was all about, and in this moment she intended to question their fashion sense.

“You're
sure this is the right thing to wear?” Janna examined the sheer lace dress
Lydia and Anne had picked out for her.

“It's
perfect.” Lydia shifted the sack-like cover on Janna's shoulders. “It gives you
a little modesty, which will drive Simon crazy, and then he’ll remove it.
Perfect. I can't wait ‘til he sees you're here.”

“I
may need to take some of your courage to get through today.”

“Janna,
you have courage in spades.” Lydia knelt down and examined the hem. “I think they
use similar sheaths in the downstairs club.”

“Have
you been?”

“Not
yet, but we’ve talked about it.” Lydia stood. “I think we’re going tomorrow
night for couples’ night.”

“I
love your necklace.” Janna reached out and lifted the heart shaped lock that held
her chocker closed. It weighed more than she imagined.

“Thank
you.” Lydia's face lit up. “Jake picked it out. It was a gift at our ceremony
just a few weeks ago.”

“It’s
lovely. You’re a lucky lady.”

“You
are, too. Simon has been a great friend to Jake. I’m so glad he’s found
someone.” When Janna looked down, Lydia took hold of her hands. “Simon’s a
fighter, and I see the same in you. You’ve had to fight for each step that got
you here.”

“You’re
right.” Warmth lit her from within, and goose pimples rose over her flesh. “I
need to make a phone call before I go out there. There’s a door I need to make
sure is closed.”

“Now?”

“Yes,
now. I’ve waited too long actually.” Janna ran over to the locker she was using
for the evening and pulled her phone from her purse. She found her father’s
number and took a deep breath before pressing his number. All she had to do was
be open and honest.

“Janna,
I’m so glad you called. While I was traveling home, I had another great idea. You
should fly home tomorrow. I’ll hire movers to pack up your things and bring
them home. You won’t have to worry about anything but getting yourself home
where you belong.”

“I
am where I belong.”

“Now,
Janna, I’d thought you’d have come to your senses by now. You’re moving home.
Don’t wait until they fire you. You’ve only been there a week. You don’t even
need to put the job on your resume.”

“I’m
not coming home.”

“Janna
Marie Hall, I’ve had enough of this.”

“Dad,
I’m not coming home.” She cleared her throat. “You can either accept my choice
for my life, or we will be parting ways.” When he didn’t respond she added,
“The choice is yours, Dad. Do you want to be a part of my life or not?”

“You’re
staying.”

“Yes,
I’m staying.”

“I
think you’ll regret it.”

“I
understand how you feel.
Do you understand how I feel?”

“You’re
messing up your life.”

“It
is my life, thank you.” She took another big breath. “I’m glad we got this
cleared up. Tell Mom I’ll call
her
tomorrow.” She hung up and twirled around.

Lydia
stood beaming and speechless.

“I
can’t believe I just did that.” Janna fingered the collar of her dress. “I
can’t believe I just did that.”

“Are
you second guessing your decision?”

“No.”
Janna shook her head and felt the pinch in her cheeks as her smile settled in. “Simon
is here, right?”

“Anne's
out there checking right now. Just take a deep breath because it is almost
time
.”

A
sting of nerves flashed across Janna’s skin.

“He's
here.” Anne came running into the locker room.

“She
just told her father she wasn’t coming home.” Lydia bear hugged Janna.

“Wahoo!”
Anne wrapped her arms around her, too.

“Thank
you.” Janna pulled back. “I love knowing you’re here for me.”

Mistress
Charlie walked into the locker room, and the air shifted with the sharp sting
of nerves. If Janna had thought her first visit to the club had been important,
it didn’t even compare to the weight of tonight. That first night, Simon proved
to her she was submissive. Tonight, she wanted to be taken as
his
submissive.

Once
Mistress Charlie lined up all the trainees, Lydia and Anne wished her well and
assured her they'd be there if she needed them. There were three others in the
line-up, two more women and one man. Mistress Charlie reviewed their safe words
and set their boundaries for the evening. None of them were to leave the club
floor without talking with her first.