“Don’t start something you can’t finish now,” he goaded making her laugh.
They finished with the truck and then moved on to the convertible. She finished it and put the plug back in, screwing the filter and everything tight. He was just about to tell her what a great job she’d done when oil flew all over as he fought to plug it again. He cursed and sputtered, but eventually got it back in. He glanced at her with oil all over his neck and cheek.
She was sorry. She was
so
sorry. But it was so funny she couldn’t help but laugh. She giggled in the way one does when they are fighting it. He laughed, too, and wiped as his face. “Ha, ha. He, he,” he said jokingly and reached under her arm to tickle her ribs. “Now who’s laughing?”
“I’m so sorry,” she said through her laugh and jerked. He continued to tickle her until she begged him to stop through her screaming giggles. Then she pulled a towel from under his leg up. She leaned over him as best as she could in the tight space that the jacked up car provided. “I am really sorry, you know.”
She wiped at his neck and worked to get it all. She felt his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed under her fingertips. But when she moved up to do his cheek, she saw the look he was giving her. He was solely focused and enraptured with her ministrations. She wiped the last drop away right next to his mouth. They just stood there looking at each other and she could take the questions no more. She leaned forward and kissed his chin. He gripped the back of her neck and she braced herself for lips, but it was his forehead to hers that touched.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said sweetly and let his fingers caress her neck. She pulled back and saw that he wanted to kiss her, he did. But he just wasn’t ready to do it for some reason. So she smiled and mouthed, “You’re welcome,” and leaned her head on his shoulder as he finished the car.
It didn’t escape her notice how his skillful hands took double the time to finish everything with her head on his shoulder and her hand resting on his belly.
* * *
The next few weeks were carbon copies of that beautiful, serene day. They ate together, laughed together, tickled and hugged and she got forehead kisses constantly. But at night, she still slept in his bed with him on the floor and he never, ever tried anything further.
Well, she thought, if this is what she had to live with she’d say she was doing pretty good.
Then one afternoon, Roger seemed to be on edge. His hands shook as he tried to work that day on a broken doorframe at the office, but his eyes scanned her constantly. She was beginning to be a little self-conscious about it by dinner time when nothing she seemed to do or say could make any difference with him. But then he pulled the biggest surprise of all.
“I’m going to run an errand real quick. I’ll be back in a little while, all right?”
“You’re leaving me here…alone?”
“Lock the door behind me,” he said and slipped his boots on. “Don’t let anyone in except me. I’ll be back soon.”
“Can I ask where you’re going?”
“The only place I can go right now,” he asked vaguely, but seeing her distraught face, he paused.
“Are you upset?” she asked and cleared her throat. “You’ve been weird all day.”
“I have,” he admitted. “I just can’t do this anymore, Amy. Something has got to give.” And then he was long gone, the truck’s peeling tires was all she heard.
What the hell did that mean? Something’s gotta give? The lump that formed in her throat at what he might mean by that was too much. She curled up in his chair, smelling him on the fabric and closed her eyes, waiting for her husband to return.
* * *
When he banged on the door at full speed about an hour later, she jumped and ran to see who it was. “Roger?”
“Open up, baby,” he said and she felt her heart lift a little. He sounded happy, but when she finally got all the locks done and she saw his face, he wasn’t happy. He looked like that broken man again and she shook her head. No, no, she thought. We’d made so much progress.
But when he slammed the door behind him and came at her, she wasn’t scared. She knew enough about him now to know that he’d never hurt her. And he didn’t. He fell to his knees at her feet, taking her hands in his. “Amy,” he begged, but for what she didn’t know.
Then he released her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his face to her belly. “Oh, God, please. Please forgive me. Please, please, forgive me.”
Amy stood stunned with her hand on his head. “Roger, what-“
“I have done nothing but lie to you and hurt you from the moment you got here.” He lifted his face to rest his chin on her belly as he looked up at her. He was crying and she couldn’t stop the gasp.
“Roger, what is going on? Where did you go?”
“I went to see Alex.” He smiled. “He told me he was in love with Elena. That he and Elena have been pretending, too.”
“What?” she asked and it all seemed to make sense, falling into place. That was why Elena had been so strangely happy on the phone that day.
“Amy,” he said, pulling her from her thoughts, “I was nothing. I was an empty shell. I was filled with lies I believed until you came and showed me the truth. You are the only person in this whole world – the whole world, Amy – who ever showed me that love was a real, tangible thing. That love was something you could grab onto even if you didn’t deserve it. That kindness wasn’t just an idea, but a face that’s soft and always smiling even when I was a bastard to her.” His arms tightened. “I love you, Amy. I know I don’t have the right to and I told you that I didn’t think I could love anyone, but that was a lie. I love you and it scares me to think about that, but it’s there to my core. Amy, you changed me. You changed everything about me. I’m inside out and I don’t ever want to be right again.” He smiled and nuzzled her stomach. “I don’t know if I could ever live without you. To go back to a world with no light or goodness.” He looked back up to her and she pressed her lips together and wiped his face with her hand. “I love you and I’ll do anything for you, including let you go if that’s what you want. I know you said you’d stay, but it was wrong of me to just keep you here for my own selfish reasons. You can leave at any time. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
She looked at the man who claimed she’d changed him from the inside out, but he’d done that to her. She was different, too, and it was because of him.
And she loved him. So she told him.
“I love you, too, Roger.” He stilled and waited, so she continued. “I forgave you the second that you left that door wide open for me to walk out through.”
He rose slowly and with purpose. He took her face in his rough worker’s hands. “And you didn’t leave then.”
She made sure the conviction rang true when she said, “And I’m not leaving now.”
“You’re staying? Not just here, but
with
me?” he tilted his head to the side and swept her cheek with his thumb.
“I’m staying with you,” she confirmed and put her arms around his waist.
He smirked and closed the inch between them. “I’m going to kiss you,” he informed her, but waited for an answer.
“It’s about time.” She smiled as much as she could with his hands on her cheeks and saw his answering grin. It was the smile of the man who had hope of a second chance. She closed her eyes.
His lips were so warm she could feel the heat of them before he even touched her. And when he did, she was lit from her feet all the way up. She could feel a little of his scruff on his chin, but his lips were as soft as feathers. She felt feather light, too, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his arms encircle her waist.
When she felt the dining room wall at her back, she realized he’d carried her there. He pressed her gently and kissed her with a reverence that lacked selfish urgency. One hand stayed on her waist and the other returned to her cheek, barely grazing her skin with his fingertips. She was flashed with heat in waves down her body and pulled him closer with her hand grasping at his shirt front. She let her lips part and he dove into her mouth, his tongue sweeping through once. He groaned but then laughed against her lips. “You remember when I said that if I ever kissed you, I’d never stop?”
“Any girl would remember that line,” she said with a giggle.
“Well, it’s true for the most part, but if we don’t stop and go see Elena and Alex like they asked, I really,” he growled, “really won’t be able to stop tonight.”
“We’re going to see Elena?”
“Yep. She’s got the flu or something, but wanted to see you. You wanna or…you want to stay here.” He wiggled his eyebrows in jest.
“I wanna do both!” she laughed. “But I would love to see Elena.”
“You got it, sweetheart.” He kissed her palm. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Forgiveness,” he said simply.
“You’re not even the same man, Roger,” she said softly and touched his cheek. “That man is gone.”
“He sure as hell is,” he said and smiled. He whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you,” she whispered back and accepted his one last kiss before putting her shoes on by the door.
On the way to Alex’s he told her about the plan Alex had come up with to set the women free. She scooted in the seat next to him, enthralled with the idea and even more so of being a part of that idea.
He helped her from his side of the truck with his hands on her sides. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, then dragged his lips to her mouth for a quick, but thorough kiss. He groaned again and pulled back barely an inch. “Ready?” She nodded. “Let’s go,” he said against her mouth.
“Ok,” she said breathlessly, “yeah.”
He smiled as he took her hand in his and led her to the door. He knocked and a smiling Alex opened it. He hugged her to him and she saw Elena over his shoulder.
She ran to her friend.
Chapter 13
Amy was almost asleep when they pulled into the driveway from Alex’s. They’d spent hours there eating and going over the plan set in motion. Roger once again pulled her from the seat on his side and lifted her into his arms. He kicked the truck door closed and tried to open the door, but it would not be finagled. They both laughed and giggled as he juggled her and the keys and trying to open the door at the same time.
They practically fell through the door laughing, but stopped immediately when they saw their visitor. Roger set Amy’s feet to the floor and stepped in front of her. “Run into the bedroom, Amy.”
“No. Roger-”
“Amy, go, please,” he growled, never taking his eyes from his father.
She inched her way down toward the hall, doing as he asked.
“Well, what have we here?” his father said and smiled evilly. “Out kind of late, don’t you think?”
“Nothing wrong with going out late,” Roger said smoothly.
“You look pretty chummy.” His father looked at her. “And you look…just gorgeous, don’t you?”
“Father-” Roger started, but his father was having none of it. He was up out of his seat in a flash and Roger’s uncle, Ben, was storming toward Amy down the hall. He grabbed her arm before she could enter the room and dragged her back to watch as Roger’s father pinned him to the wall.
“Let her go,” Roger said. “Do whatever you want to me, but let her go.”
“So noble, my son is,” his father laughed. “Look at her,” he said. “Look at her! She’s controlling you. I can see it. This is why you have to break them right out of the gate. They’ll trick you and use you and make you think that you love them, but it’s all a lie. Until a woman is broken she can’t see clearly her purpose. You failed me. You’ve embarrassed your family name and shamed me.”
Roger huffed, his breaths fast. “You’re right. Father, you’re right. She did trick me.”
Amy didn’t have time to think if Roger was tricking his father or not, because the second that his father’s eyes lit and his grip loosened, Roger went for it. His fist slammed into his father’s chin and before he even hit the floor, Roger was coming for his uncle. The man was so surprised that Roger had actually fought back that his hands fumbled, causing Amy to fall from his grasp. She scrambled to Roger, who gently placed her behind him. His uncle, the weak tyrant of a man he was, held his hands up in surrender before Roger even took a swing.
“Come on, man. Don’t.”
“All the times I pleaded for you to stop,” Roger spat. “All the times that,” he pointed to his father, “that bastard sat and laughed while you hit me over and over again. All the times your steel toe boots cut into my skin… you want my mercy?”
His uncle was sheet white as he stared back. Roger looked over at his father who was watching Roger. “And your steel toes, too.” He lifted his shirt to show the scars on his lower belly, the ones Amy had seen and wondered about. She wanted to vomit at knowing exactly where they’d come from. She gripped his arm just because she needed to. “Your steel toes were the worst,” he continued in a rough voice, putting his shirt down and gripping her hand tightly behind him. “Get up and get out. You’re not welcome in my house again.”
“Roger. Son, I was only looking out for you. Instruction is hard to take sometimes-“
“Instruction?” Roger yelled and moved toward his father. He jumped to his feet, his old knees wobbling as he did so, and he cowered at the door. “You can keep your instruction. Now get out!”
His uncle scooted along the wall and shot out the door ahead of Roger’s father. He looked back and shook his head as if ashamed. But he left. Amy felt her chest bursting with pride, but would he be upset about what he’d done? Would he feel needless guilt?