Taking Shots (Assassins) (42 page)

“
It was.”

“
It could be like that all the time, you know.”

Scheming man.

“
It could.”

She then watched as he leaned against the sink, looking up at the ceiling. He had shaving cream all over his face, his razor in one hand as his other one moved, kinda like he was saying ‘Come on’ with his hand. She shook her head, going under the water to wash the conditioner out.

When she came out from under the water, he said “So do you want to move in? Or maybe we could look for another place, a bigger one.” She closed her eyes, why couldn’t it be an easy ‘Yes! I would love too!’ instead of her freaking out. She shut the water off, grabbing a towel as she open the door. She wrapped herself up in it as she stepped out. He was facing the mirror again, not watching her as she dried off, which was good because she was still a little naked shy around him.

“
I don’t know Shea, I mean like I said that’s such a big step. We’ve only been dating for two months.”

Shea turned looking over at her, only half of his face shaved, the other half white from the shaving cream, “I know, but you’re already here a lot.”

“
That was when I was busy but I’m not no more, so I could go home a decent hour now.”

“
But you haven’t left the condo since I left.”

“
Because I missed you, being with your stuff made me feel better.”

“
Okay, so when I’m home for good you’re not going to want to stay here?”

“
I don’t know Shea, why do we need to label it? Can’t we just go as we are?”

“
I mean we could, but wouldn’t it be easier to have all your clothes here, all your shoes? Some of the pictures you’ve taken?”

“
It would, but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

He made a face, “What does that mean?”

“
It means that moving in is taking a big step, how would I explain that to my daddy, or Papa, they are gonna wanna know where the ring is.”

“
What do they say now?”

“
They don’t know!” she yelled throwing her arms up in the air, losing her temper. He was so damn persistent; he couldn’t just let it be. “I mean what do you want me to do, Shea, say no? Cause I don’t want to, I just want to keep on as we are.”

Elli watched as Shea nodded, hurt filling his eyes. He turned looking back at the mirror to continue shaving. She stood watching him shave, waiting for him to say something.

“
Can you go get ready? We need to go.”

That was not what she wanted him to say.

She let out a frustrated huff and headed out in the bedroom, going into the closet. She grabbed her dress and her shoes out of the box before leaving the closet to lay everything on the bed. She went to the drawer that she had been putting her panties and bras in, and grabbed one of each, along with a pair of black sheer tights. As she got dressed, she couldn’t help thinking about their conversation. Elli didn’t want to fight with him while he was home, what was the big deal? He wanted her to move in, she basically already had, so what was the big deal moving in some more things?

Because she wasn’t ready, and Shea didn’t want some of her things, he wanted it all. He wanted to mix their things, make a home together.

No matter how much she wanted to make him happy, she just couldn’t do it. Even though she didn’t want to live in her house because she was lonely, the thought of moving everything out of it actually hurt. What would she do? Sell the house, so they could get a bigger one? Did she even want to truly live in Nashville? She would miss her porch, her flowers, and, hell, the whole house. She loved her house.

Why was being in a relationship so freaking hard? It seemed everything that meant the relationship was growing, made Elli almost break out in hives. Maybe she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. Maybe she needed to rethink this. She needed to go home, instead of staying here.

She should pack.

She pulled the sweater dress over her head, and sat on the bed, looking around the room that was filled with her and Shea’s stuff. A pair of her heels laid in the corner, along with one of her flats, the other one was on the floor beside his side of the bed. Her hair bows were laid across his dresser, while her bra’s that she had just washed hung on his mirror. Her iPod laid beside his iHome, and random pieces of clothes laid with his on the floor.

It seemed to all fit, like it was meant to be there. Her stuff mixing with his, but even though everything looked good together, it still made her nervous. Did he have a problem with it? No, he wanted it there. Elli couldn’t help but remembered how Justin and her things mixed so well. His house looked like something straight out of an expensive classic designing magazine, but he still had no problem kicking her out when he got mad, throwing her things out on the lawn. What if Shea did that?

Shea came out the bathroom, going into the closet. When he came out he was putting on a white shirt, before sliding on the fall colored striped sweater she had gotten him from Macy’s when she had went shopping for her dress. He fixed the bottom of the sweater, before looking up at her.

“
Thanks for the sweater, I like it a lot.”

“
It looks good on you,” she said when she found her voice, “real good.” He gave her a small smile before heading towards the door that led to the hall. “Hey.” He turned looking back at her, leaning against the door, “Are you sure you’re ready for us to move in together?”

He nodded before saying, “Yes.”

“
How do you know, though? Aren’t you scared?”

He shook his head, a small smile going across his face. “No, baby, not at all. Because I think-” he stopped, looking down at the floor, kicking the door frame. Then he looked up at her, his sky like eyes boring into hers, she actually had to catch her breath from being under his intense gaze.

“
Because I’m falling in love with you, Elli, and I want to be with you, always.”

Well, she sure didn’t see that one coming.

It seemed like hours passed when really it was only seconds as Shea looked down at Elli. She was pulling i
n deep, shuddering breaths as she looked up at him. He refused to look away, daring her with his eyes to do anything before answering him. He watched as she went to say something but stopped herself, still taking in the deep breaths.

Finally, when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, she said, “How do you know?”

“
What?” he asked, “How do I know what?”

“
How do you know that you’re falling in love with me? I just don’t understand it, I mean, how does one actually know when they are in love? Does it just hit them? Do you just know? I mean how does it happen? I mean-”

“
You’re rambling, Elli,” he said, closing his eyes as he like out a frustrated sigh.

She didn’t love him.

“
I know! Because not only do you want me to move in, but you are falling in love with me! You couldn’t wait to drop the love bomb on me till after we were done with the moving in one?” she said standing up, and moving her hands with every word that came out of her mouth.

God, he loved her even though she drove him crazy.

“
What do you want me to say, Elli, I’m sorry? I’m sorry for feeling the way I do? Sorry for wanting to be with you every fucking moment of the day, for wanting only you? I mean what would you want? For me to be a fucking douche, cheating on you, not telling you I actually feel something for you? I mean for the love of God, Elli, what do you want from this? Is this relationship actually going somewhere?”

She moved her hand over her mouth as she looked down at the ground. He expected her to say something, not start crying. She moved from the bed, walking on insanely high heels to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. He let his head fall into the doorframe, hitting it a few times before walking over to the bathroom door.

“
Elli, why are you crying?” he asked, he heard her blow her nose.

“
Because you’re right Shea, I don’t know anymore. I mean first it was you being gone, now it’s the fact that I’m scared to move forward in the relationship while your hell bent on moving. I just don’t know anymore.”

“
Don’t know what? What do you mean?”

“
I mean that maybe we should take a break.”

Okay, that came from left field. Shea felt like she was hitting him with a hundred pucks, square in the chest, he braced his self against the door frame trying to control his breathing.

“
Okay, so I tell you that I’m falling in love with you, and you break up with me? Right before we leave so you can meet my parents.”

The door flew up and she stood there, the same height as him, tears streaking down her face, as she tried to keep the sobs inside her.

“
I don’t want to break up, but I feel like I’m holding you back, you deserve someone that will give you what you want, and I’m not sure I’m that person,” she said putting her hands on her chest.

“
Why do you fucking do this? Why do you over analyze; over fucking think everything! We are great together! If you don’t want to move in, fine. If you do; great, if you don’t love me, that’s fine, but I do love you, and I will wait for you to love me, Elli.”

Her lip wobbled, before more tears streamed down her face. “Don’t do this, don’t over think, just feel, baby, don’t you feel what I feel when we are this close to each other? Don’t you have fun with me? Don’t you miss me when I’m gone? Don’t you want me?” He cupped her face with his hands, her tears running over his big hands, she had such big tears something he couldn’t help but love, because even when she cried, he thought she was the most beautiful person on earth, “Tell me no to any of those questions Elli, I’ll let you break up with me, hell I’ll even help you pack, I’ll let you go, even though-” he took a deep breath, tears welling up in his eyes, because if she did say no, he was done for, “Even though it would kill me.”

Shea had never cried in front of a woman. Okay, well, he did cry in front of Grace once, and his mom was always there when he cried, but he had never cried in front of a woman he was dating, but he felt like the tears were about to fall. He tried so hard to keep them at bay because he didn’t want to seem weak, but she wasn’t saying anything, she was just looking at him, tears rolling down her cheeks onto his hands. He could except the fact that she didn’t love him, because he knew she would later, but the fact that she wanted to break up, no he couldn’t except that, wouldn’t except that.

She took a deep breath, and then said “I don’t deserve you Shea.”

His heart melted, “Of course, you do, baby.”

“
No, I really don’t, you’re too patient, too nice. You deal with my craziness, my insecurities, why Shea? Why do I deserve you?”

He smiled, moving his thumbs back and forth against her cheeks, “Because, I said so,” he said with a wink, “Now stop over thinking us. I’ll leave the moving thing alone; let you make the decision, okay?”

She nodded before wrapping her arms around his middle, nuzzling her nose in his neck, getting snot and tears all over him, but he didn’t care. He held her close, kissing her wet hair, inhaling her scent. They stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other until his phone rang. He pulled back a little pulling the phone out of his pocket.

“
Shit,” he said, “Its Grace.”

“
Crap, I gotta finish my hair!” she placed a quick kiss to his lips before turning back around going to the sink.

“
Hey.”

“
Where the hell are you?”

“
We’re running late.”

“
I mean Jesus, can’t you guys wait until tonight?!”

“
For your information we weren’t having sex, we did that earlier in her office.”

She let out a disgusted cry, “Wonderful, now if I’m ever in her office that’s what I’ll imagine.”

“
Hey, it was good stuff.”

“
Ugh, anyways, when will you be here? Mom is waiting…and she is not happy about it.”

“
Sorry, we’ll stay later, Elli’s doing her hair now, we should be out of here in…hey, baby, how long you going to be?” he asked Elli.

“
Give me fifteen, I promise I’m hurrying.”

Yeah right, fifteen minutes?

“
We’ll be over within the hour,” he said instead.

“
Fine!” Grace hung up, as he shook his head.

Damn women in his life drove him nuts!

Elli wanted to call Harper, not go to Grace’s house to meet Shea’s parents. She was still on edge from their fight, from almost throwing away the most amazing man in the world. She just didn’t understand what her problem was, why couldn’t she just let it go. Shea was not going to hurt her, but it didn’t matter how many times she told herself that, it still sat in the back of her mind.

Elli wasn’t happy with the way she looked either, she only had time to straighten her hair when she wanted to put big curls in, and she didn’t get to spend much time on her makeup, so she knew Shea’s family was gonna think she was a ugly, frumpy, gold digging whore not worthy of their amazing son. She was more nervous about meeting his family than she was about him meeting hers.