“Let’s say we’re even.” She finally met his gaze, and he felt relief when he saw the stable, calm acceptance there. Even a hint of humor. This was a peek at the Jana of his dreams. The woman he knew she could be.
Darak hugged her again, loosely, placing a smacking kiss on her lips as she smiled.
“We’d better get ready. The Council still wants to see you, and now, we’re running late.”
He released her to look for his clothes while she straightened the shimmersilk creation he’d had made just for her.
“It was worth it,” she murmured as she brushed her fingers over the fabric. He heard her words, and they warmed his heart. “Good thing shimmersilk is such a forgiving fabric.”
She left him in the bedroom while she went into the bathroom to clean up. When she returned, he nearly gasped at how beautiful she looked in the dress. She was a gorgeous woman, but the dress he’d designed showed off the otherworldly crystals in her skin to perfection. She looked like some kind of creature out of legend. A polar pixie or magical moondancer come to life just for him.
And he was definitely enchanted.
* * *
They took Darak’s private shuttle to the Council compound. Few words were spoken between them, but she could feel his solid, silent support. A pleasant warmth continued to tingle through her body, echoes of the amazing feelings he’d taught her. And it seemed now she could read his expressions better than she could before. She could see behind the bad boy image to the more sensitive soul hidden beneath.
Or maybe she was just fooling herself. She wasn’t sure.
The Council compound was larger than she expected, and the Council Chambers themselves were daunting, to say the least. Thankfully, she would be questioned first by the much smaller contingent of Master Mages and those ranked above. They didn’t intend to subject her to the entire Mage Council. Not yet. Those of higher rank would determine if she needed to be questioned by the Council as a whole.
So, instead of facing hundreds of Mages, she only faced about fifty or sixty Mage Masters and a few Viziers. Jeri and Micah would be there, as well, along with one older woman named Elenor, the only other living Sha.
Jana had asked her sister to let the questioning proceed as it would. She didn’t want her little sister appearing to take her side against the Council’s most powerful delegates. Even though she was a Sha, Jeri was still an outsider, regardless of her marriage into one of the oldest and most powerful families on this planet.
The politics of power seemed to come naturally to Jana, which was curious. She certainly hadn’t learned that at home on Mithrak. She could only guess such lessons had been learned during her time spent under the control of the Wizard collective.
It was a startling realization, and one she hadn’t shared with anyone, yet. She knew things about the collective. She just knew them, without having conscious memory of them. Like the way she knew Jeri should tread carefully in the political arena where Jana was concerned. That wasn’t something a sixteen-year-old farm girl would have thought of. But the seasoned starship captain she had been in the collective probably would have known how to navigate such political waters.
She had led the armada against Liata, for heaven’s sake. She didn’t really remember doing it, only the terrible aftermath. It had been agony. And ecstasy. To be free of the collective whispering in her mind. Free, at last.
Darak ushered her silently into the Council hall. They were using the main chamber, which was round with individual, movable pods attached to the sloping floor. The stage was a small round circle in the center, and the seating pods lined the upwardly sloping floor. They could detach from their moorings to move down to the staging area—or anywhere else for that matter—should the need arise. This arrangement helped when members seated in various parts of the hall needed to take the floor to address the full assembly.
The large chamber was mostly empty today, with only the first few circles of seating pods filled, clustering around the center stage where Jana would stand under their scrutiny. She didn’t look forward to the next hours, but she understood they were something she had to get through in order to continue reclaiming her life. Being separated from the collective had only been the first step on a much longer journey. It was a journey she feared she must make alone.
Her sister Jeri couldn’t do it for her. Nor did Jana want her to. This was something Jana had to do on her own. The collective had stolen her will many years before. It would take time, energy, and a wisdom she didn’t think she had achieved just yet, to reclaim her individuality.
Darak had been a constant presence since she’d awoken aboard the
Circe
. He continued to plague her throughout her convalescence. And if she let him, she thought he might just move right in and overwhelm her fledgling existence. She didn’t want that.
It would be so easy to give in and let him rule her life. He might just do it, too. If she let him. All the signs were there. He was a dominant male. He liked being in charge—and if she were being honest, she’d admit he was pretty good at it. He had a good head on his shoulders, though she would never admit that to his face. Although she’d given in to his sexual advances, she wanted to maintain a certain amount of distance from him emotionally. It was her only protection, flimsy though it may be.
Darak escorted her right onto the stage where she would sit for as long as they wished, asking her questions and pondering her motivations. There was a single chair placed in the center of the stage. Darak scowled as he looked at it.
“I’ll get another chair. You are allowed an advocate to sit at your side, if you wish.”
She stayed him, touching his arm as he turned to summon another chair.
“No.” He paused, eyeing her critically. “I will face them on my own.”
“Are you certain?” His gaze spoke of support and concern. She was touched, but she refused to let it show.
Jana tried to take on the mantle of the starship captain she had once been. She didn’t remember much about those days, but if she had been able to lead an armada of ships—even while under the control of the collective—she must have something inside herself that could be called upon…some inner strength the collective had used and exploited.
Jana’s days of exploitation were over. She would die before she allowed herself to come under anyone’s power again. Now, she had to find those qualities that had made her useful to the collective and use them on her own behalf. The line in the sand had been drawn here and now. Here and now was where she had to find the resilience within herself to meet the challenge and stand tall.
And she would do it on her own. She had leaned on Darak long enough. Her wounds were as healed as they were going to get. Her emotional scars, she would carry for the rest of her days. The time had come for her to reclaim her life, starting here. Starting now.
“I must do this alone, Darak. Though I thank you for your support.” There. That sounded both serene and strong.
Darak looked at her oddly, but she didn’t acknowledge his questioning gaze with anything other than a small squeeze of her fingers on his arm. He stood a moment longer, holding her gaze while the room settled around them. The Mage Masters were organizing their documents, and one of the technical staff was setting up recording bots. The moment they were switched on, nothing would go unrecorded in this chamber. The idea made her uncomfortable, but it was just one more reason she needed to find her own balance in this uncertain sea. She couldn’t depend on Darak to guide her. Not in this.
“I will sit with Micah and Jeri.” He indicated the pod they sat in, just to her right, with a slight motion of his eyes as she removed her hand from his arm. “If you need me, all you have to do is crook your finger, and I will be at your side. You do not have to face them alone.”
“Actually, I do,” she disagreed with him in a polite but firm tone, a soft smile on her face, hoping he would understand.
Darak took both her shoulders in his hands. Before she could object, he bent to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. It almost felt like a benediction, but she recognized it for what it was. It was his way of staking his claim and declaring his support for her to all the gathered Talents, without speaking a single word.
He let her go as quickly as he’d taken hold of her, then stepped briskly to her right, to the pod where her sister and her new husband already sat, watching. Jana watched him go and caught the little wave Jeri sent her way. Jana nodded at her sister, then at Micah, acknowledging their presence as she took her seat.
The rustling in the chamber died down until one pod detached itself from the wall and floated down to settle in front of her. In it was a Vizier she didn’t know. She recognized his rank from the formal robes he wore in Council, but she didn’t know anything else about him.
“I am Vizier Balous,” he introduced himself, using voice amplification so everyone in the chamber could hear.
She noted the mic that floated near her head in an offhanded way. Little visual and sound bots floated around her as unobtrusively as such things could. Everything from this moment forward would be recorded from multiple angles for posterity.
“Greetings of the Vizier Council and on behalf of the Master Mages and our esteemed Shas,” the man continued by way of formal introduction to the proceedings. “Thank you for submitting to our questioning today. It is rare for us to be able to talk to someone separated from such lofty heights of power in the Wizards Collective.”
He paused, but not long enough for her to return the greeting. Instead, he started right in on the questions. He started by asking her to state her name and planet of birth. Simple stuff. Then, he moved on to the more painful moments in her memory. He asked her to recount the day she was taken from her parents and everything she could remember afterward. It wasn’t much. The collective had started whispering in her mind almost immediately, and it wasn’t long before her thoughts had been overridden by the will of the collective.
Balous asked her to describe how the collective worked. She didn’t always have sufficient words to explain the way the collective had taken her over, but she tried the best she could to make them understand.
When she claimed not to remember much from the time she was taken to the time she was freed, Balous pushed her hard. He alluded to the brief moments when she was free of the collective’s whispers in her mind so she could be used by the men who tried to breed her. There were moments during that line of questioning where she nearly broke, but Jana refused to let mere memories of the past hurt her. She’d worked long and hard with the mind healer on exactly that—and the new memories of pleasure that Darak had given her helped her overcome the trauma of the past.
She realized now that the violence that had been done to her had nothing to do with pleasure. Darak had shown her that. He’d helped her make that final connection only hours before. She could look on the repeated rapes now as something sick and twisted that had been done to her. Not something she had participated in. Not something she’d had any sort of control over whatsoever.
She wanted to see the men who’d hurt her pay for their crimes. She no longer feared them. She no longer loathed herself for what
they
had done. She had come a long way from the woman who’d been shattered along with the blue stone that had exploded in her hand. The intense questioning only brought home how to her how much progress she’d made in such a short time.
Much of it due to Darak. She looked over at him, sitting with her sister and Micah in the pod to her right as there was a pause in the questioning. He looked angry at the line of questioning and ready to do battle on her behalf. She smiled—just a tiny lift of her lips—and he went still for a moment, his fists gradually unclenching.
The moment out of time helped them both. He calmed, and his strength seemed to float across the yards that separated them, into her. The questioning had been going on for over two hours. They’d allowed her a pitcher of ice water and a glass to partake of as she wished, but aside from the occasional pauses while the questioner organized his notes, she was kept center stage, on constant alert. It was tiring, but Darak’s silent support gave her renewed energy. She faced Balous’ next questions with a clearer mind for having taken a moment to connect with her new lover.
Lover. Yes, that’s what he was to her now. Her first lover. The only real lover she had ever known. The men who had come before were criminals, not lovers. No, that distinction was Darak’s alone.
Balous let her sit quietly for a few minutes while he outlined the career of Commodore Jana Olafsdoter of the Wizards Collective. Apparently, the Council had an extensive file on her with all kinds of intelligence reports of her doings, complete with holographic recordings. There was even one of her being elevated to Commodore in a ceremony she barely remembered. Jana was fascinated by the footage and sat forward in her seat to study it as it was projected on the stage just in front of her for all to see.
“Do you recall this occasion?” Balous asked.
“Vaguely. I remember the uniform and the braid on the epaulets. My…yeoman…Marnie—that’s her standing behind me and to the left—had a hard time getting the new decorations on straight. She cut her hand very badly, and I—”
“You what?” Balous prompted when she broke off midsentence.
The memory that came to mind was just too strange. Jana remembered something of her powers before being cut loose from the collective that didn’t jive with anything she’d learned about herself since.
“I healed her.” Jana shocked herself with the admission. “It was a misuse of the power granted to me by the collective, which is why I think I can remember it now. It was my will that she be spared the pain and disfiguration of her injury. It was the real me trying to do something for a friend.” Jana was amazed by the revelation.
“Did you use the blue stone in your command staff to channel that ability?”
“No. It was something I could do by myself, without the stone.” She looked downward at her hands, realizing she’d had the power within herself to heal her friend. Why hadn’t she known she could heal? And why didn’t the others here tell her? Surely, Darak—or somebody—had already figured out where her Talents lie.