Tales Of A RATT (33 page)

On the island, they used to have the airport, but that's been moved. They have a really nice golf course out there; the Nautical Inn, which is my favorite place to stay when I'm in town; a few hotels; a big campsite; and all these homes that people live in or lease.

It's just unbelievable out there. There's all these coves that are absolutely gorgeous. It looks like the Blue Lagoon everywhere you go, with it's crystal clear, deep blue water.

You can go upriver from the bridge, you're in the heart of the Colorado River. The river meanders down from Laughlin where Davis Dam is, which holds back Lake Mojave. You go up Lake Mojave, which is another incredible lake, seventy five miles to Hoover Dam, and on the other side of Hoover is Lake Mead.

There is a sixty-five mile stretch from Lake Havasu to Davis Dam, and it's nothing but incredible river canyon systems. The water is crystal clear blue, and ice cold year round. But, when you're on the lake, the lake runs really deep. So the surface water from June until October is somewhere like 82 degrees.

Just beautiful.

Back in 1975, when I went out there with Iris, Chuck and the gang, it was amazing, but there were a lot of bikers out there then. In those days, in Arizona, you could carry a gun. You could wear it on you; which attracted a certain kind of person.

Bikers had pistols in holsters, and some of these guys had rifles stuck down in their bikes. It was like the Wild West, so a lot of these guys were really intimidating. I didn't really like that end of it.

I went again in 1976 with some friends to the stretch of river south of Parker Dam. It's called the Parker Strip. Parker Dam, which is the dam that creates Havasu, is a huge, beautiful thing. The water gets sucked into the dam and pumped downstream. Parker Dam is about 200' high, and the stretch from Parker to the next dam is about thirteen miles. That's the Parker Strip, which was a crazy party scene.

My buddies, "Good Time" George, and Ron Welty, drummer of The Offspring, both have houses out on the Strip.

I remembered all of those sights, and when we needed to get away, Havasu jumped to mind.

I took the family out there in 1990 and fell in love with the place all over again. We started going out there all the time.

I had my Wave Runners for about seven years, just putting thousands of miles on those things. We used to run all the way up to Laughlin on the runners, no problem. It was just a great time.

My buddy, Mike Anthony, who was the bass player for Van Halen, has a townhouse up there on the lake, right by the London Bridge. He paid $143,000 for the place, and the things worth about $1.3 million now. I've done a lot of partying up there with him and his family over the years.

I've got my whole Havasu Crew that I run with up there. Mitch and Jenna, I've known Jenna since she was about sixteen years old. She's now been with Mitch Brandon for ten years, that's how I met him, he's one of my best friends. He bought a huge house out there, so we stay with him a lot. There's Mark and Christine Valdez and their kids; Joy Carter; Mike and Lisa Valdez and their kids; "Good Time" George Eastom and his girlfriend Summer; Ron Welty, the drummer for Offspring, who has a place right by the dam, so he can do the lake or the river. He's a great guy.

We do jam sessions at Mitch's house several times a summer. We just set up on the patio overlooking the lake and then have at it.

The sunsets are amazing, there. It's like the sky is on fire. Then, when you ride at night, the air is still around the low 90's in temperature. It's warm and soothing as you drive through it. That's a really comforting sensation as you watch the full moon rise at the bottom of the lake.

I've raised my children on this lake, that's how I feel about it. Cruising around that place, it's hard to imagine anything could ever be wrong in life.

I love it so much that upon the untimely death of my ass, they are instructed to take my ashes and scatter them in my five favorite coves in Lake Havasu. So, if I die next year, anyone who reads this and goes to Havasu, you'll be swimming in the Blotz's ashes.

How sexy is that?

One night, we were all partying over at Mike Anthony's condo. It overlooks the London Bridge and the channel. He's got a balcony, and outside the front door, there is a huge porch area where he has a Jacuzzi. We were all in the Jacuzzi, and were getting shitty, drinking. I was camping over at Crazy Horse, which is a big campsite out there.

We were talking about running on the water at night, because I had put lights on my Wave Runners to run at night.

Someone goes, "Blotz, go get them! I dare you to ride your shit through here at night.”

"I'm sorry. Did you say you're daring me?”

Never one to turn down a dare, I hopped in the car and drove across the street to where my Runners were beached. I got on one of them, stripped down buck-assed naked, and rode all the way around the island back to the channel and Mike's place.

There's two ways you can enter the London Bridge area. If you're coming from the bottom of the lake, you enter one area, and if you come from the river you enter from another into Havasu.

I drove around to the top entrance. It's a "no-wake" zone, obviously, but there are never any cops on the lake at night. So I went by there, full speed, ass out in the breeze. I was flipping those guys off with one hand, and steering with ... well, imagine, if you will.

I went back and dropped the Runner off at the campground. I got dressed, and came back to the party to the sound of thunderous applause from all of my disciples, traumatized, though they might have been.

The Wave Runners eventually gave up the ghost, and it was time to trade up. At first, I got a 21' open bow Seaswirl lake boat. It was nice, but had limited partying capacity.

Now, I have a 27' JC Tritoon deck boat. It's really nice and seats 16 people. You're never going to set any boating speed records in the thing, but it goes as fast as you need it to, 38 mph, and it does it with a baker's dozen, plus three, of your best friends on board.

Every Fourth of July it's time to gather for the fireworks. They always shoot them off from the beach at The Nautical, there on the island, so you'll go out on the water, and there's literally hundreds of boats out there, just bobbing lightly. The red and green lights from the boats look like a huge Christmas tree floating across the lake. It's amazing.

When the fireworks start, you couldn't ask for a better show. They shoot them off right over your head.

That's the way to celebrate Independence Day!

There're so many party stories that you can't pick one over the other. But, that's what we do out there. We just stay clear of the cops. On busy weekends, they bring these out of town guys in, and they are just a bunch of neo-nazi assholes. You have to watch your step around them. But, that's the only rub to the place.

So that's it. I've been happily doing Havasu for the last eighteen years. But, I went to the boat show last week, and I'm getting the itch for an ocean boat again. So, maybe there will be a sequel to Ramboat: First Blotz.

Be that as it may, Lake Havasu will forever be my favorite vacation spot.

Commanding the SS-TriToon on Lake Havasu in June 2009.

Entertaining the troops, Havasu June 2009.

My dog, Jack the River, doing what he loves best; fetching anything that looks like a ball.

It really does look like a different planet.

Wally Verson, who was our tour manager for years, was in management now. In 1996, he met with Stephen, Warren, Juan and I at Warren's house about getting the band back together.

Wally was a strange bird. On one hand, he was pushing us all back together, which was good for our future, but on the other hand, he would pick at the wounds in the band. That kept old beefs from healing, which was going to absolutely be necessary if we were going to make another run at our music.

Wally really got into Warren's head. That kept Warren from wanting to jump back into it.

Stephen and I had to form some sort of strategy. We called Robbin, because we were going to do it with or without Warren. We were like, "King, we want to go out, do some business, play some RATT music and fucking live it again.”

We weren't intentionally dealing Warren out, but we weren't going to wait around either. You know? If you're not wanting to do it, then see you. Step aside.

We figured that King would be able to step in and take care of the problem, then we could pick up another player.

We were horribly wrong.

In 1994, Robbin Crosby was a full on heroin addict. He was mainlining junk, and drinking so much booze, he hardly knew who he was. King was a man being rapidly consumed by his demons, and by a sickness, that in the mid-nineties was the plague of modern man. HIV.

He had this beautiful house in the Hollywood Hills that he was hanging onto by a thread, yet it was constantly being over run by these derelict, junked out friends of his. He had a crew of cotton shooters that would hang at his place for days and days chasing the dragon.

I was never up there with all those people, but I talked with a couple of the guys who had been, and I heard all the stories. It was sub-human.