Talk Nerdy to Me (27 page)

"Thanks,"
Eve said. "Manny's the cookie maestro, though. He's finished another five
while I'm still on my second one."

"Every
little bit helps." Rose paused and switched the bag of raisins to her hip,
as if she were carrying a toddler. "We promised two hundred cookies for
that bachelorette party Friday night."

"Two
hundred?" Eve stopped working and glanced up. Her next order of business
was squeezing pubic hair onto her cookie lady, and she couldn't do a good job
and talk at the same time. "How many people will be at this party?"

"Most
of the women in town, including me and Myrtle." Rose looked wistful.
"In Middlesex the whole community gets behind a wedding." Then she
brightened. "You could come to the bachelorette party, too!"

"Oh,
I don't think so." Eve wanted to save her evenings for the hovercraft.
"I'd feel funny going without an invitation."

"I
could get you an invitation. I'll bet Jill didn't think you'd be interested,
considering you're so busy with modeling and all. But you might as well go.
Charlie will be at the bachelor party for her fiancé' David. They're holding it
at the Rack and Balls."

Eve was sure Charlie had
spaced that particular social obligation. And Rose's invitation had put her
smack-dab in the middle of a dilemma. She didn't want to be thought of as
stuck-up. The whole point in moving to this small town was to be part of the
life here and lose that big-city glamour role. "My sister's coming to
visit tomorrow," she said. "I couldn't very well abandon her."

"Bring
her!" Rose beamed at Eve. "The more the merrier. Is she a model,
too?"

"She's
an economics professor," Eve said. "She knows everything about Wall
Street."

"Oh,
yeah?" Manny stopped decorating and looked up. "I dabble in stocks,
myself. Think she'd give me some tips?"

Eve
thought about what could happen if someone turned Denise on to her favorite
subject. "You have to know how to frame your questions. If you're not
careful, she'll give you a complete analysis of the New York Stock Exchange and
throw in an evaluation of Nasdaq for free."

"I
wouldn't mind. When's she coming to town?"

Eve
glanced at her watch. "In approximately nine hours." When she considered
how little housecleaning she would get done between now and then, her tummy
fluttered with anxiety. But if it came down to cleaning house or spending time
in bed with Charlie and his chaps, she had no trouble making the decision.

Manny
grimaced. "With luck we'll be finished with these cookies by then."

"Oh,
goodness." Rose patted him on the shoulder. "You can stop now. You
can all stop now. I'm feeling guilty. Myrtle and I shouldn't be keeping you
young people from your fun and games."

Eve
felt the heat climbing up her neck. Rose hadn't looked directly at her when
she'd made that comment, but she knew what Rose must be thinking. It was true,
except there would be no happily-ever-after part, and that was the part that
Rose was probably counting on.

Eve
decided to set the record straight and give the printable reason why Charlie
was spending time with her. Charlie's mother wasn't likely to cause her
problems if she knew about the hovercraft. "Charlie and I are collaborating
on a project of mine," she said. "We're trying to keep it under wraps
until I can test it. After that we'll try to market it, but for now, it's in
the experimental stage, so we only tell the people we can trust."

"You can certainly
trust me," Rose said.

"Me,
too." Myrtle came in through the back curtain. "I have no idea what
you're talking about, but I'm great at keeping secrets. Isn't that right,
Rose?"

"You're pretty good at
it, Myrtle."

"I'm
more than pretty good. I never told a single person that you had that tummy
tuck, now did I?"

"You
just did!" Rose blushed as she glanced around the room. "I assure you
it was minor. Extremely minor."

"It wasn't, but that's
neither here nor there," Myrtle said. "We're talking about Eve's secret."
She glanced over at Manny and Kyle. "What about these two boys? Can they
hear about this?"

"They already
know," Eve said.

"And
did they swear on a Bible that they wouldn't tell?" Myrtle gave both men
the evil eye.

"I
don't expect anyone to swear on anything." Although now that Myrtle had
brought it up, some kind of agreement might have been a good idea. It wouldn't
mean much if Manny and Kyle were the crowbar crew, though.

"I
think we should all swear an oath of silence," Myrtle said. "That's
how it is with secrets. You're supposed to take them seriously and swear not to
tell, but the problem is, we don't have a Bible. All we have is . . . wait,
I've got it! We'll say that the sack of raisins is really a Bible and swear on
that."

Rose
groaned. "Myrtle, for pity's sake. If I didn't know better, I'd think you
were mixing up old-fashioneds in the bathroom. We are not swearing on a sack of
raisins. That's silly and it might even be sacrilegious."

"Is
not." Myrtle stock her chin in the air. "I'm a very devout person.
Mostly. Don't think of it as a sack of raisins. Think of each raisin as a
nugget of wisdom from the Scriptures. Don't look at me like that, Rose Alice.
It's a perfectly good idea."

"It's
not, either, Myrtle Marie! We can't just say presto-chango, this bag of raisins
is a Bible."

"Why
not?" Myrtle put her hands on her skinny hips. "Jesus turned water
into wine. Lots of things represent other things in the Bible. It's called
being allegorical. So plop that bag of raisins up here and we'll all put our
hands on it and swear."

Rose
sighed and sent a glance of apology around to the group. "I can see you're
determined on this point, Myrtle. So we might as well, because you won't rest
until we do."

"We're
doing what with raisins?" Charlie walked over to the island, a wrench in
one hand. "I'm finished, by the way. The mixer works."

"Thank
you, Charlie." Rose smiled at him. "And the raisins are your aunt
Myrtle's brainstorm. She thinks we should all swear not to reveal the secret of
Eve's project."

"On
a bag of raisins?" Charlie looked confused. "What am I missing?"

"You're
not missing anything," his mother said. "It's your aunt Myrtle who's
missing a few slices from her loaf."

"Hey!"
Myrtle swatted at her sister. "I'm trying to make sure Eve's secret
doesn't get spread all around town. Do you have something against that?"

"Not
a thing." Rose positioned the sack of raisins on the butcher block and
placed her hand on it. "I solemnly swear not to reveal Eve's secret to
anyone outside this room."

"Mom."
Charlie sounded concerned. "You're swearing on a sack of raisins."

"Just
go with it," Rose said. "Myrtle wants us to think it's a Bible, and
once she gets like this, it's pointless to argue with her."

"This
is a very good idea," Myrtle said. "You'll see. It's the symbolic
nature of this that is important." She started to put her hand on the bag
and then she snatched it back. "Hold it. Is anybody else in on it? What
about Rick?"

"He
knows," Eve said. "And so does my next-door neighbor, Eunice
Piven."

"The
alien abduction lady," Myrtle said. "She's a good Pastry Parlor
customer, so I'm willing to trust her. And Rick's not a blabbermouth. I didn't
raise him to be a gossip."

"I
just thought of two other people who might have heard something." Charlie
glanced at Eve. "When we were talking about this at the Rack and Balls
Monday night, do you remember the guys who came in?"

"Yes. I didn't know
who they were, though."

"Darrell
and Ed," Charlie said. "They own the Christmas tree farm outside of
town."

"And they're both
fruits," Myrtle said.

"Myrtle!"
Rose glared at her sister. "I've told you a million times not to say it
like that. The word is
gay."

Eve
met Charlie's gaze and could guess he was picturing her damaged back door, a
door that could easily have been pried open by two guys who worked outdoors all
day at their Christmas tree farm. "They might have heard something about
the project, but it's hard to believe that they would—"

"I don't know,"
he said quietly. "Anything's possible."

"Darrell
and Ed stay mostly to themselves," Myrtle said. "I don't think they
would talk. Still, it's too bad we don't have everyone here to swear an oath of
silence."

"You'd
need a bigger bag of raisins, Aunt Myrtle," Charlie said solemnly. Then he
winked at Eve.

Myrtle
glared at him. "Are you making fun of my raisins, Charles Edward Shepherd?"

"Nope."
Charlie laid his hand on the bag. "I solemnly swear not to reveal Eve's
secret to anyone outside this room."

Eve
melted. She was a sucker for a guy who went along with whatever craziness his
relatives foisted on him. "Should I swear, too?"

"Why
not?" Myrtle said. "We don't want you going around blabbing about
this."

"I
won't, except that I just thought of the other person who knows. My sister
Denise."

"The economics
professor," Manny said.

"Right. But she's not
a problem." Eve hoped that was true. She would have a much better idea
after Denise arrived. Picking a spot right next to Charlie's hand, she laid her
hand on the bag of raisins. Her pinkie touched his thumb. "I solemnly
swear that I won't reveal my secret to anyone who doesn't already know about
it."

"See,
that's a better thing to swear," Myrtle said. "Maybe we should start
over."

"No!"
said Manny and Kyle together, slapping their hands on the bag. They each
recited the pledge in turn.

"Then
I'm the last." Myrtle laid her hand on top of everyone else's. "I
solemnly swear, on this bag of common raisins, which has been transformed
through the miracle of human inspiration into the embodiment of the Holy Word
of God, that I will never reveal, on pain of death, or whatever punishment is
deemed most fitting for the—"

"Myrtle!"
Rose bumped her hip against Myrtle's. "Cut the dramatic monologue and take
the pledge."

"I
swear I won't tell." Myrtle lifted her hand. "There. It's done. Okay,
Eve. Spill your guts."

While
Eve described her hovercraft to Rose and Myrtle, she tried to gauge Manny and
Kyle's reaction to see if talking about the hovercraft made either of them
squirm or fidget. Guilty people tended to do that.

Manny
and Kyle sat quietly, giving nothing away. Either they weren't guilty of breaking
and entering, or they were experts at hiding their guilt. Their expressions
were impossible to read one way or the other.

Too
bad. She'd still like to pin the theft of her notes on them. They were
strangers in town, so if they were the culprits, her idealized picture of
Middlesex wouldn't be smashed to smithereens.

In
any case, she was getting a kick out of talking about her project. She tried to
keep her explanation as free of technical jargon as possible, and references to
Michael J. Fox and the hover boards in
Back to the Future Part II
s
eemed
to help Rose grasp the concept. Myrtle, however, never looked the least
bewildered.

When Eve finished, Myrtle
bounced with excitement. "I've read up on this! Biofuel is the wave of the
future!"

"I
hope it is," Eve said. "Maybe my hovercraft will help pioneer that.
It will be a toy at first, but once people see that they can power a vehicle
with something other than fossil fuel, they might want to expand the
concept."

"What
about powering it with used cooking oil?" Myrtle said.

Eve was startled. She
hadn't met too many people who were versed in this subject. "It would
work, too. I haven't considered that for my project because I don't cook with
oil, myself, and I..." Then it dawned on her that she was standing in a
bakery. Used cooking oil would flow from this place like water. She looked at
Charlie.

"I thought of
it," he said. "But I wasn't sure if you wanted to get other people
involved."