Talk Nerdy to Me (37 page)

"I'm not sure that I want to
go to—"

"Sure you do." And Eve
really wanted to go there and see a couple of women who liked and admired her,
two people who believed she was going to succeed. She hadn't realized how nice
that felt until confronted with Denise's skeptical negativity. "I'll be
back in a flash and we'll go."

"I have a suggestion,"
Denise called after her.

"We're going to the Pastry
Parlor," Eve said as she walked quickly through the kitchen. "No
arguments."

"About the hovercraft"

Eve paused. Her sister was
nothing if not smart, and maybe she'd actually have something to contribute to
the project. "What about it?"

"You
should put a rubber bumper all the way around the bottom edge."

"Why?" But Eve had a
good idea what the answer would be.

"Because, sure as the world,
you're going to crash this thing, and a bumper might just save your ass."

"Right."
Gritting her teeth, Eve left to take her shower. She had to move the dry
cleaning back to her bed before she could do it.

When she
finally stepped under the hot spray with a sigh of relief, all she could think
about was that damned bumper suggestion of Denise's. It took her the whole
length of her shower to finally admit that it might be a very good idea.

Rick stared
across the table at Charlie, his expression one of complete disbelief.
"You're shitting me, Charlie."

"Don't I
wish. But not this time. Someone is definitely out to steal this hovercraft
concept from Eve."

Rick
pushed away his empty plate and brought his coffee cup closer. "But this
is Middlesex. People don't break into houses and steal things in this town. We
have a few speeders, a few more jaywalkers, especially during tourist season.
Right before graduation somebody always paints the water tower. That's the
crime beat around here."

"I
know." Charlie was having a hard time believing it himself. If he hadn't
seen Eve's back door and heard that ominous click of the front door closing,
he'd have Rick's same reaction to the news. "But considering that Eunice
could be the one, I wanted to clue you in."

"Thanks,
cuz." Rick gazed down into his coffee cup. "It's a damned shame,
though." He glanced up and grinned. "Because she may be crooked, but
she's also bent, if you get my drift."

"I
could see that for myself when she opened the door wearing black underwear and
a set of antennae."

"Was
that wild or what? And I don't care if she got her techniques from that Gonaug
dude or from
Penthouse.
She knows stuff, man. She
knows
lots
of stuff."

"I'm
sure." Charlie wondered if she knew how to market a hovercraft design.

"Like
for instance, she does this thing with her tits where she coats them with
something sweet and gooey. I know because she let me taste it. She claims it's
made by ' a certain kind of beelike insect on Trillium. So she puts it on her
tits and then she rubs them all over my—"

"I
get the picture." Charlie wasn't in the best of shape to hear Rick's war
stories. They only made him think about being in bed with Eve. "Listen, we
have to focus on the problem. You can't let yourself get distracted by
sex." And neither could Charlie. "It's not only Eve and her invention
I'm worried about. You could be a victim, too."

"Me? How?"

"I'm not
sure. Was there... bondage involved?" That made him think of leather,
which reminded him of his chaps.

"Oh,
yeah.
You
know how most people do it by tying each other to the bedposts?"

"Um, I guess."

Rick gazed at
him. "You don't know squat, do you? I can see it on your face. You've
never stuck your toe in the bondage game pool. Am I right?"

"Well,
I've... no, I've never done that." But he'd bet Eve would like to play.
Anybody who wanted to have him wear chaps to bed would definitely be
interested.

"Eunice,
she doesn't mess around with bedposts. She has eyebolts in her bedroom wall,
two at the top and two down by the baseboards. Sort of like a medieval torture
chamber, you know?"

"See,
this is what I'm talking about. This kind of extreme thing." Charlie
wasn't ever getting into eyebolts in the wall. Bedposts would be fine. Except
he didn't have any, and Eve certainly didn't, with her round bed. If he designed
a trapezium-shaped bed for her, though, he could put bedposts on it. Cool.

"Extreme
sex! Exactly. Charlie, you don't know what you're missing. There I was chained
to her bedroom wall, and you could have used my dick for a coatrack."

"You were helpless. She
could have taken your credit cards, your—"

"Actually, she did hang a
few things from my dick." Rick stared off into space, lost in his hot
memories. "She played ring-toss with these big hoop earrings she has, and
then there were the feathers. She used those to tickle my balls."

"She could have done
anything,
Rick!"

"I
know."
Rick's
eyes glazed over. "That's what makes it so damned exciting."

"Especially
when you discover she's stolen your identity. That would be very exciting.
Rick, will you pay attention? We have a thief among us, and I'm trying to
figure out who it is."

"All by
yourself?"

"No.
Eve's thinking about it, too. And I was hoping you'd be some help." But
after this lunch discussion, Charlie had serious doubts.

"What about the
cops?"

"No
cops. First of all, Eve doesn't want to answer questions about the hovercraft.
When she tests it, she'll be flying it without any kind of license, and she'd
rather do that quietly."

Rick nodded. "Smart.
Okay, let me get the players straight. You think it might be either Eunice or
the sister, Denise. And there's the off chance that it's the gay guys out at
the Christmas tree farm. How am I doing so far?"

"Better."
Charlie decided he had to level with Rick. "Don't take this wrong, but
Eve's suspicious of Manny and Kyle, too."

Rick laughed. "That's
a good one."

"You
can't blame her. They were there Monday night when we were talking about this
as being a potential gold mine. I don't know how much you're paying them, but
they might see this as a shortcut to some fast money."

Rick
smiled and picked up his coffee cup. "You don't have to worry about Manny
and Kyle."

"How can you be so
sure?"

"They
have their eyes on the big picture. They want advancement in their field. They
wouldn't louse that up with something like this. It would be professional suicide."
He took a sip of his coffee.

"I hope you're
right."

"Cuz,
you can take that to the bank. Kyle and Manny aren't suspects. But I have a
plan."

"Yeah?"
Charlie was hesitant, but ready to listen. Right now he could use a plan, and
sometimes as kids Rick would surprise him with a halfway decent idea. "It
doesn't involve explosives, though, does it?"

"Hey, will you ever
let me forget that? Sheesh."

"Not
likely. When your cousin and best friend decides it would be cool to build a
bomb, and he's thinking
cool
idea
and you're thinking
juvie,
not
to mention the end of all hope for a scholarship to MIT—let's just say that
sticks in my mind."

"I wasn't really going
to build it," Rick said. "I only said I was to give you a mental
wedgie. Worked, too."

Charlie
didn't want to concede that point. "I didn't think you'd really build
it"

"Did, too. And you
thought I'd drag you into it, somehow."

"Yeah, yeah. So what's
this idea of yours?"

"I go
undercover."

Charlie didn't get it.
"I thought undercover was when nobody knew who you were. You're as
well-known in this town as I am."

"Yeah, but they don't
know I'm a spy, now, do they?"

"A
spy?" Charlie groaned. "I'm afraid to hear the rest of this."

"It's simple, but
elegant. I seduce
both
Eunice and the sister.
What's her name again?"

"Denise,
but I think this plan has huge flaws. For one thing, Eunice seems to do the
major part of the seducing when you two get together."

"Only
because I let that be the case." Rick waggled his eyebrows. "I can
take charge if I want. Those eyebolts work both ways."

"Dear
God. Forget I asked for help. This is a disaster in the making. And as for
Eve's sister, she—"

"Leave
her to me. I'll get her to reveal her secrets. Eunice, too. I'll handle both of
those suspects for you. But as for Ed and Darrell, you're on your own. I'm not
seducing them. I have my limits."

Chapter
Twenty-two

Rick
decided he was in the wrong damned profession. He should have taken up acting.
Charlie had completely bought his fixation on sex, although it wasn't totally
an act. Whenever he focused on sex, he forgot about Peterson for a while. So
he was willing to take on the challenge of seducing Eve's sister, just for the
distraction factor.

But
he'd promised Peterson he'd report in, so he finished his coffee and excused
himself. "Gotta take a leak," he said.

"Sure. I'm getting
some pie and coffee. Want some?"

"Pie
would be great, but I'll skip the extra coffee." Rick had the shakes as it
was. After going into the single-stall bathroom, he locked the door, pulled out
his cell, and dialed Peterson's number. "It's me."

"Does he suspect you
of anything?"

"No."
Rick swallowed. "But you took a chance last night, staying to watch. They
heard you leave."

"That
was my reward." Peterson's tone was smooth and unhurried. "God knows
if you'll make this spaceship pay off. I need to take whatever benefit I can
from this
sorry situation, because I doubt you'll come up
with the money. I'll get some consolation from watching you die, but not
enough."

Rick
clenched his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. 'The hovercraft will pay
off. I have an appointment in New York on Monday." He tried to calm
himself by looking at the framed
Playboy
centerfolds
covering the bathroom walls.

"Yes,
well, before you go rushing off to that appointment, you have some business to
take care of."

"What's
that?" Rick's heart beat so fast he wondered if he could be having a
stroke. Even staring at Miss July's 36DDs wasn't helping.

"You
have to destroy that prototype in the garage, of course. Make it look like she
blew it up by accident."

"I
don't…I don't think that's a good idea." Rick dragged in a breath.
"Somebody could get hurt."

Peterson
sighed. "That's not your concern, is it? Your concern is to destroy the
evidence that someone else created this concept you're selling."

Rick
tried frantically to think of an alternative, but Peterson was right about
getting rid of the hovercraft. Maybe he could steal the whole thing and then
torch it. Except he didn't know how to do that. Somebody would be sure to
notice him leaving Eve's garage with that big purple saucer.

"Either
you promise to destroy it or I'll have it done," Peterson said.

"No,
no. I'll do it." Rick didn't dare turn Peterson loose on something like that.
Only a smoking, gaping hole in the ground would be left after Peterson blew up
the garage and probably the house right along with it.

"And
soon," Peterson said. "They're obviously close to brushing it"