Talk to Me (27 page)

While thinking of what it means to inspire others, I started thinking of special people who've inspired me.

IN THE LINE OF FIRE

A woman named Rudrani Devi was booked for a life reading with me, but I didn't realise that she was about to help me look inside of myself as much as I had hoped to hold a mirror up for her in her reading.

When you walk down the street you never know who you will cross paths with or how you will be affected by the encounter. People who are forced to suffer the trauma of losing loved ones to violence are an example to us all of how the human spirit can rise above the hatred that brews in the dark hearts that willingly take from us our most precious loves. Rudrani Devi is a woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was that fatal moment that forever changed who she is, providing us all with inspiration. As you read her story, let Rudrani's spirit inspire you to live the life that you were meant to live.

RUDRANI'S STORY

No one could have prepared me for the events in Mumbai, India, on Thanksgiving of 2008, dubbed by the press the ‘Mumbai Massacre of 26/11'. However, when I look back on it now, I wouldn't have changed a thing. As a survivor, I'm here to tell you that God has an amazing capacity to give us what we want, even if it doesn't look like it at the time.

Travelling to India with some long-time friends for a meditation retreat in November 2008 was a once-in-a-lifetime journey that would end in terror and tragedy. After a beautiful day visiting ashrams and sacred holy shrines, I was sitting in a five-star hotel restaurant which was open to the lobby, having dinner with my friends. Minutes after we'd sat down, terrorists came around the corner with automatic rifles and opened fire. I was shot at point-blank range in the right arm and right leg and left to die among the other victims. Two of my friends were executed, while two others were severely injured. I was bleeding profusely from my right leg and it was determined later that I had lost four units of blood—the body only holds seven. As I lay there, I made my peace with God, but then I heard the voice of the Divine Mother telling me to ‘watch and trust'.

Suddenly, kitchen staff called out to us, saying that if we wanted to survive we had to come at once. I couldn't get up, so I held out both my hands in the direction of the voices and said, ‘Drag me!' One of the wait staff ran out of safety to pull me by my wrists across the carnage to the staff door of the kitchen. Inside the barricaded door I had a brief moment of feeling safe, but then bullets riddled the doorframe and a hand grenade came flying through the service window. Fortunately for all of us, it was a dud. We finally managed to make it out the employee entrance and after several attempts at flagging down a cab I was transported to Bombay Hospital. There I waited hours for surgery to remove a bullet that had lodged next to my femoral artery. If it had pierced the artery, I would have bled out in moments.

The terrorist attack lasted nearly three days, took the lives of 185 people and severely injured or maimed another 500. Although I was told I might never walk again, I felt lucky to be alive. It would take 26 months of rehabilitation on my shattered leg before I could walk. Within the first ten months, my husband of six years left me, my holistic healthcare clinic closed its doors and I became estranged from the organisation I had been a part of for 23 years. You would think I might have been better off dead, but with great tragedy came great liberation. I lightened my load in many ways and became more of who I was meant to be, an authentic loving soul. I appreciated my very breath and I knew in the deepest recesses of my being that it was pure magic and a miracle that I had survived.

I already knew this intellectually before my experiences in Mumbai, but I had now learned firsthand how connected we really are to Spirit. There is something about a horrific experience that literally shakes you to your core and affords you the luxury of knowing how close you really are to your higher self, to love, to God/Goddess, basically to the universe. In fact, it's not so much about ‘being closely connected'; it's more about ‘being', period! When I floated above my body and could see what was happening, an amazing thing took place. I communed with all the other souls that were leaving their bodies and we came to the agreement that we had all chosen to be there as the beautiful children of God that we were. Even the terrorists were a part of that, although in their dense bodies they wouldn't have known it. Although all the other souls transcended, I remained behind and reconnected with my body. If it had not been for that experience—which I look back on now as a ‘divine appointment'—I may have suffered the rest of this lifetime with post-traumatic stress disorder.

It took time for me to realise it, but afterwards, everything in my life changed for the better. As a holistic health practitioner and vibrational healer, my work became more multidimensional. Now when I sit to do remote sessions, I go into the deepest trance and can facilitate on multiple levels that just weren't available to me prior to the incident. Now it is as simple as crossing a string. Oddly and joyfully, the most horrific experience of my life has brought me to the most connected outcome and a sense of peace beyond what I could have ever imagined. This is what it means to be, feel and accept unconditional love. Everything is as it should be, for how can it not be? It is what is
happening
. I came to a place of deep acceptance and that is truly to know peace within. Now, I am free!

DIGGING DEEP TO FIND GRATITUDE

After hearing from Rudrani about the horrifying experience of watching her friends being executed and nearly losing her own life, nothing in my life seemed so hard anymore. Often tragedy causes us all to count our blessings and mix up our own energy, which in turn lightens our hearts. Without reflection, spiritual growth would be a slow process; there is much to be learned from our past and also from the tragedies that change people whom we empathise with.

I've read people who lost loved ones in the Twin Towers on 9/11 and who now work to help others who have suffered the same loss. I read a woman who, when she was a small child, survived an attempt on her life by her own mother, who successfully killed her other children before taking her own life. This woman became an emergency operator so that she could help others. There are so many people out there who have been through unimaginable circumstances but, like Rudrani, they find a gleaming thread of beauty to pull them out of the darkness that they refuse to let engulf them. Inspiration is all around us; all we have to do is open our eyes and connect with it. Charity brings us together, because we're needed by someone. For all those out there who don't know what their purpose is, all you have to do is extend your hand and someone will gratefully take it. Be someone's inspiration and your purpose will become clear.

Acknowledgements

I
want to acknowledge some courageous, spectacular people who have touched my life as well as my family's life. I'm so grateful to have been graced by them all.

Bill Austin, who passed in 2010 from a terminal illness. He was the morning show host on
Beth and Bill
—99.9 KEZ in Phoenix, Arizona. He had an infectious laugh and he touched too many lives to count.

Michelle Stark, who passed in 2010 from cancer. She had a beautiful voice, an angel's face, and a husband and two daughters who adored her.

Dr Jim Hayes, who passed in January 2011 from pancreatic cancer. He was truly a loving, intelligent human being with a great golf game to boot.

Elvia Van Es, who passed from a brain tumour. She had a lot of spunk, and was a shining star. She reminded me of the best parts of my dad's family, so she felt sort of related to me—comfortable, like family should be. She loved margaritas and, most especially, her family. Only the good die young, right?

Deidre, my nephew's mother, was full of young, radiant energy and was extremely thoughtful, always writing me thankyou cards. She died in a tragic accident. I know she'll love and protect my nephew Michael and his little brother—always.

Obviously, thank you to my handsome husband, Joe, and our three gorgeous girls, whom I couldn't live without. They've endured this roller-coaster ride with me, and they still have a sense of humour.

Thank you to my mum, Tiena, who reminds me that all that matters is what a person thinks of himself or herself, and that you can't live your life for other people.

Jaena—You're like a sister to me. Thanks for your friendship and never backing down.

Thank you to Patty and John S., Amy Berberich, Tania Thomas, Patty and Chris Flores, ‘Juke Kartel' (Toby, Tommy, Dale, Jay and Todd), Terry D., Tom McMullan, Rodney Smith, Draden Medina, Dr Ole Alcumbrac, Mary Grassl, Rich Berra, Tim Hattrick, my friend and attorney Josh Binder, my publicist Valerie Allen, Adrianne Curry, Steve Stark, Pat and Duffy, and all our friends in Pinetop. I went through a moment of introspection recently and you all were there for me, and accept me for who I am. There are no words for how grateful I am. Thank you.