Watching her, Teagen wondered why she didn’t add herself to the list. This was the second time she’d mentioned Eli not loving her, but he must have cared about her. He’d saved her from starving and given her a place to sleep. He’d married her.
She shrugged so slightly Teagen felt it more than saw it. “On summer nights in the attic, I used to open the windows to the roof and look out at the night sky, but the stars never looked so big. Raising her hand, fingers wide, she whispered, “It’s almost as if I can touch them.”
Teagen watched her. She had to be in her mid-twenties, she was a mother, a widow, but there was such wonder in her. She reminded him of a blind person seeing for the first time.
When her hand came down, it rested once more on his arm as if that was the place where her touch belonged. “If I lived here,” she breathed deep of the summer night, “I’d come out here every night.”
“I do.” He didn’t add that it was part of the security routine all the McMurray men practiced. From this point they could see any campfires on their land.
She twisted so she could see his face clearly. “Could I come here again with you? Not every night, but just sometime before I have to go?”
“Of course.” The thought that she’d be leaving soon returned. Teagen frowned. “How long do you think before your relatives come?”
He felt her entire body tense.
“Not long. A few weeks, a month maybe. I didn’t have time to wait for their answer before I left Chicago.”
It occurred to Teagen that her relatives might not have gotten the letter. The mail wasn’t always dependable, or they could have moved. Or, in a land as wild as California, they could even be dead.
Teagen turned his horse back toward the house. They rode in silence for a while before he said, “If they take much longer than a month, it’ll be too late to start the trip back across the Rockies before winter. The journey’s going to be hard enough with three little ones in the summer.”
She didn’t say a word, and he guessed he’d frightened her, so he added, “If they don’t come by August, you’d better stay here until spring.”
“You’d let me?” she whispered as they neared the corral gate.
“It’d be safer for you and the girls.” He swung down and reached up to help her. “By spring you’ll be recovered from the birth. Staying here might be your only logical choice.”
She came so easily into his arms he gave no thought to resisting. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her body against his even before her feet touched the ground. “Thank you,” she said against his ear. “Thank you.”
He held her close, feeling her tears against his shoulder. Neither said another word, but he got the point. She must have been worried sick about her relatives not getting to her in time. The thought of being heavy with child and having to cross almost twice the distance she’d already come would be a troublesome burden.
After awhile, she stopped crying and pulled away.
“I’m sorry,” she managed with a little laugh. “Tears seem to be spilling out of me at every turn. I’m not like that usually.” She brushed his shoulder as if she could dust away tears. “I’ll try to make myself useful while I’m here. Now that I know I’ll be welcome if they don’t make it, I can relax. But I want to help out while I stay. I’m not much of a cook, but I can sew and knit.”
Teagen stepped away to unsaddle his mount. He wished she’d said she could shoot rather than knit. Outlaws are seldom stopped by knitting needles. But he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so he said, “You’ve already been a big help. You’ve managed to keep Martha so busy she hasn’t had time to pick on me. I swear, when Sage is gone, she bristles like an old porcupine in a hailstorm. Nothing I do, including disappear, makes her happy.”
“When is Sage due back? The way Martha talks about her, I can’t wait to meet her.”
“She should be back anytime now. She wanted to drive her own team home, but I wouldn’t let her. Sage thinks she can do anything a man can do, and the only thing that usually keeps her from it is when all three of us gang up on her.”
“Her three big brothers?”
“Right.” Teagen let his horse into the corral. “She rode down with Travis and his wife. Travis will be tied up at the capital for at least another month. Sage can’t stay tame that long, so I wasn’t surprised when she sent word that she’d be coming home. Since we all vetoed her driving, Travis will put her on the stage in Austin.”
“You all thought it too dangerous for her to come alone.”
“Of course it would be. A woman alone would look like an easy target, and there’s no telling how many bodies she’d leave along the road to prove that she wasn’t.”
Jessie laughed. “So, you weren’t worried about her, just the poor robbers.”
Teagen took her elbow and started toward the house. “You don’t know my sister.”
“I can hardly wait.” Jessie matched her step to his. “You love her lots, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.” He slowed. “But she cried for an hour one time when we were target shooting, and Travis made her shoot a rabbit. Imagine what she’ll do if she has to kill half the outlaws between here and Austin.”
Jessie took the first step on the porch and turned to face him at eye level. “But you think she would go ahead and shoot them if need be.”
Teagen winked at her. “I’d bet on it.”
CHAPTER 9
TEAGEN LAY AWAKE HALF THE NIGHT. HE COULDN’T believe he’d told Jessie she could stay as long as she liked. When he brought her home from the trading post he’d figured it would be a week, two at the most. Now, if her relatives were delayed for some reason, it could be months.
Strange how the notion of having company for that long didn’t bother him near as much as he thought it would.
He looked up at the ceiling of his first-floor bedroom and thought of Jessie sleeping above him. She had no idea how her light touch affected him. Teagen wasn’t a man anyone got that close to. Except for Sage hugging him good-bye a few times a year when one of them left the ranch, or one of his brothers slapping him on the back now and then, no one touched him. He made a habit of staying far enough away from folks in town that he never had to bother with shaking hands. He’d always considered unnecessary contact a nuisance and thought of himself as strong enough to do without it.
But Jessie touched him like they were old friends.
About the time he fell asleep, he’d finally made up his mind that he’d have to tell her to stop such nonsense. They weren’t friends; they hardly knew one another. Even the little time they’d spent alone probably hadn’t been proper. She was newly widowed, and he had no plans of ever offering more than already given.
The next night after supper, when she entered the study for their talk, Teagen couldn’t remember what it was he’d been going to tell her.
She curled up with her feet beneath her skirts and rocked. “How was your day, Teagen?” she asked. “I was up getting the girls to sleep when you came in and ate supper.”
“Fine.” He settled back in his chair. “Rose visited the barn this afternoon.”
“To check on the cats.” Jessie smiled. “She has her rounds with all the animals. I’ve never seen her so happy, even if Martha wouldn’t let her name the chickens. She told Rose it was because chickens are too dumb to remember their names if they had them, but she told me she didn’t want Rose naming them because she didn’t like the idea of cooking Philip or Victoria for dinner.”
Teagen laughed. “Martha’s got a point.”
“I know, but Rose has so much fun. Eli wouldn’t let her have a pet, but she visited the print shop’s watchdog every day, and the lady who lived across the street let her play with her two cats. Sometimes, I swear, I can see her as an old woman with cats and dogs all around her. She loves animals so.”
“I guessed that,” he admitted, “but she came out to the barn to ask if I’d let her and Emily see one of the horses up close.”
Jessie tilted forward. “What did you say?”
“I said they should wait until Sage comes home. Sage would be the one to teach them to ride.”
“Fair enough.”
“But I did put them both on an old mare we have named Glory.”
Jessie was off the rocker and on her feet in a blink. “You shouldn’t have.” Her fists rested on her hips as she faced him. “They could have been hurt. Emily must have been scared to death. I’m surprised I didn’t hear her crying.”
Teagen watched her closely. He should have been insulted at her lack of trust, but all he could think about was how protective she was of her girls. He wouldn’t be surprised if she took a swing at him. Just the thought of it made him smile.
Jessie glared at him as if she questioned his sanity.
Teagen’s smile turned into a laugh. “Now calm down, little mother. I just walked them around the corral. Glory is too old and gentle to scare anyone.” He almost patted her shoulder, then reconsidered. “They were in no danger, and besides, it wasn’t Emily who showed fear, but Rose. Emily cried when I set her off the horse.”
“Really?”
“To a five-year-old, a horse can look awful big. Rose was ready to get down after we circled. But Emily asked if she could hold the lead rope, and when I showed her how to pat Glory’s neck, she rubbed her face against the mane the way Sage used to do. My sister used to say she was giving Glory a horse kiss.”
Jessie sat back down. “I wish I could have seen that. It seems like Em’s been afraid of everything since the day she was born.”
“Not of horses.” Teagen relaxed, glad Jessie had finally settled. “She asked me if I’d let her ride again tomorrow. She was shy, wouldn’t look me in the eye, but she wanted it so badly I could hear her voice shake.”
“You don’t have time.”
“I’ll make time.” He hesitated then added, “Martha and Sage have been after me for years to slow down and take a few minutes to do something besides work. Maybe they’re right.” He thought about it a minute and added, “But Em will need a proper hat to ride. As fair as she is, her skin will blister in an hour. Tell Martha to add one to the grocery list.” When she didn’t correct him, he added, “Might as well make it three wide-brimmed hats, though I doubt you’ll be able to keep one on the little one.” Before Jessie could argue, he added, “Did Bethie stay out of trouble today?”
Jessie shook her head. “We worked in the garden this morning. She found the only mud hole and looked like she must have rolled in it several times before we noticed. Martha made her undress on the porch before she’d even let her in the mud room.”
Teagen fought down a smile. “I know how she felt.”
He watched Jessie carefully, thinking she didn’t look so tired tonight. “It’s cool outside. Would you walk out with me before you turn in?”
“I’d like that.” She stood and reached for her shawl. “Is this one of the ‘things besides work’ you plan to do?”
“It is.” Teagen stood and offered his hand. He’d looked forward to seeing her all day long. One more day, he thought. One more evening talk before she goes.
He’d caught himself watching the bridge, not for outlaws who might be fool enough to storm the place with a dozen Apache just on the other side, but for Jessie’s relatives. He didn’t like the idea of anyone coming for her just yet. He told himself she needed more time to rest, but in truth he knew he was the one who needed more time.
They stepped off the porch and walked toward the dots of campfires near the bridge. He tucked her hand in the bend of his arm and slowed so that she didn’t have to hurry. “Life must seem pretty dull out here compared to Chicago?”
“No,” she answered. “We made bread today. I haven’t done that since my mother was alive. Because I had to open the store at eight, and I never closed before six, there was little time for me to bake properly. Now and then I managed a pie, but it was easier to trade the baker a book for a month’s supply of bread.”
“Did you do a lot of that, trading?”
“More than you’d think. Many of the merchants didn’t read, but they had children, and the measure of a wealthy man lies in the width of his wife and his bookshelf.”
Teagen laughed. “So you traded books for supplies with shopkeepers who couldn’t read.”
She nodded. “It made counting the till at night easy, and Eli, if he knew, never seemed to mind.”
Teagen was glad it was too dark for her to see his face. He couldn’t help but frown. How could Eli own the store, live with her, and not know what was going on? Teagen didn’t want to think about it. He refused to ask.
The sound of a child crying drifted through the night. Jessie turned around a moment before Teagen figured out where it was coming from.
Emily stood on the porch, hugging herself but too afraid to step out into the night. “Hello,” she cried. “Is anyone out there?”
Jessie let go of Teagen’s arm and ran to her. “Em, I’m right here. What is it? What’s wrong?”
Emily looked past her mother at Teagen. Her face seemed as white as the moon in the glow of the study windows.
“It’s all right, Em. I’m right here.” Jessie reached for her, but the girl pulled away.
“No,” she insisted. “I came to see Mister.”
Teagen took a step closer. He knew the girls called him Mister and had decided that was as good as any name. “What is it, Emily?” he asked, making a true effort not to frighten her.
She looked at him with a mixture of fear and hope. “Would you take me to say good night to Glory?”
Jessie began the word
no
, when Teagen cut in. “Of course, but it’ll be dark out near the barn. Real dark until your eyes get used to the night.”
She reached up to him in answer.
Without another word he picked up the thin little girl and settled her on his arm, then offered his hand to Jessie. “You want to come too?”
She shrugged. “Why not. The barn is as good a way to walk as any.”
Teagen felt Em’s little arm wrap around his neck while Jessie laced her fingers in his.