Taming the Beast (23 page)

As Alan walked toward her, his blond hair seemed dull in the cloud-covered wood, his mustache ridiculous, his shoulders narrow. The skin of his face was perfect, unflawed—adolescently soft looking.

Even his stride wasn't as manly as Michaela remembered. He had no heroic limp to speak of at all.

Alan stopped midway between where Michaela unwillingly sheltered Elizabeth and where Hugh and Roderick still sat their mounts.

“I beg pardon for this, Lord Cherbon,” Alan said stiffly, with a bow to match, in Roderick's direction. “But I did call to your man—several times, actually—to stop. When we would start to gain on him, he would spur his mount.”

“
You called?
” Hugh said airily, eyes wide. “I'd no idea.”

“It is of no consequence,” Roderick growled. “Take your daughter and go, Tornfield.”

Lady Juliette urged her mount forward, her smile showing all two hundred of her big teeth. “Elizabeth, dear, you frightened us all so! Let us go home together—I am certain we can work everything out.”

“No!” Elizabeth shrieked from behind Michaela still. “You are not my mother! I hate you! I want to stay with Michaela!”

“Elizabeth!” Harliss snapped on a gasp. “That is a dreadful thing to say—you will apologize this instant!”

Michaela turned slightly to catch Elizabeth's reaction and, to her surprise, the girl looked properly chastised.

“I'm sorry, Nurse.”

“Not to me,” Harliss clarified, and her gray eyes sparkled, her gray teeth flashed behind tight lips. “To Lady Juliette.”

“I'm sorry, Lady Juliette.”

Juliette's smile faltered, but only for a moment. “It's quite all right, my dear. We still have some—”

“But I don't want to go back with them, any matter,” Elizabeth insisted, cutting off her stepmother's attempt at magnanimity, and turning pleading eyes to Michaela once more. “I want to stay with you! Don't you love me anymore? You didn't even answer my letter!”

“Elizabeth, Tornfield Manor is no longer my home, and your place is with your father and Lady Juliette. I am to marry Lord Cherbon and live here with him and Leo.”

“
And
Sir Hugh,” Hugh chimed in sunnily.

Michaela only threw him a black look.

Harliss got down from her mount and made to approach Michaela and Elizabeth. “Elizabeth, listen to me—”

On Hugh's lap, Leo whimpered and hid his face.

“Not one step closer, Harliss,” Roderick growled. “You're frightening my son.”

For an instant, a glimpse of the old Harliss soaked through the false exterior, but she covered it up again with amazing speed.

“Forgive me, Lord Roderick,” Harliss simpered. “Hello, Leo. Darling,
darling
boy.” Then she turned to Elizabeth again. “We've discussed this: Lady Michaela can not be your companion any longer. She has come to Cherbon to care for little Leo, there, and I'm sure you can see that he is very, very much loved by her. She is to be
his
mother, you understand.”

The explanation should have been benign, but Michaela felt the twist of words as easily as a knife. She knew they cut Elizabeth.

“But I had her first!” Elizabeth cried. She looked up at Leo and then back to Michaela. “It's because of him that you won't come back, isn't it? You love him more than me.”

Alan raised his face to the sky and sighed. “Elizabeth, don't do this.” He stepped forward and took his daughter's arm. “Come along, now. You have caused enough trouble, and we are going
home
.”

“It's true, isn't it?” The girl glanced back at the gray old hag as if for reassurance.

“Elizabeth, I
do
still love you. You are very, very dear to me.”

“But not dear enough,” the girl spat. “I'm not as dear as that sweet little
baby
, am I?”

“Ee-oh no baby!” Leo laid one palm against Hugh's cheek, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Hoo, Ee-oh no baby, wite?”

“Absolutely not,” Hugh cried in outrage. “You are a properly grown pain in my arse.”

“No baby.” Leo turned his glare to Elizabeth and stuck out his tongue.

Michaela could not help the chirp of laughter that escaped her. It was very poor timing, though, as Elizabeth glared at her with bottomless humiliation in her eyes, and her chest heaved with entrapped sobs.

“Very well, M-Miss F-Fortune. Good riddance to you!” She turned and flounced back to Harliss, who readily took the girl into her long, gray arms.

The pain of Elizabeth's rebuke stabbed at Michaela, but perhaps it was better for the girl to be angry now. Angry perhaps, but Michaela needed to ensure that she would be safe at Tornfield.

She reached out for Alan's arm as he turned to go. “Lord Tornfield,” she said in a lowered voice. “About Harliss—”

“Oh. Yes, of course.” Alan turned and bowed stiffly again in Roderick's direction. “Thank you, my lord, for sending Nurse to us. She has proven quite able and we are very pleased with her.”

“Harliss was not sent to you as a nurse, Tornfield,” Roderick said. “The woman was relieved of her position at Cherbon due to outrageous acts of insubordination, treachery, and the endangering of my own son.”

Alan looked shocked. He glanced back at Harliss, whom Michaela saw shake her head almost imperceptibly.

“I see,” Alan said, slowly.

Lady Juliette had the bad taste to add her opinion to an already-strained conversation. “Oh, well—you know, some humors are simply not compatible. She is working out quite splendidly for us, my lord.”

Michaela looked to Alan a final time. “I implore you, as a friend, and for Elizabeth's sake—”

“Leave it, Michaela,” Alan said in a low voice. “We're fine—as are you, apparently.” It sounded like an accusation.

“It was likely Harliss who urged Elizabeth to run away,” Michaela insisted in a whisper, but it was not low enough.

Alan shook his head and walked back to his horse.

“Is that what you think, Miss Fortune?” Harliss asked in an amused tone as she helped Elizabeth onto her saddle. She brushed her hands and then approached. Michaela stood tall, even when faced with the evil woman. “Perhaps you should ask Sir Hugh why he would suggest Lady Elizabeth ride her pony to the bridge with him, then, hmm? Perhaps it is not I who seeks to lure you from Cherbon, although it is true that I don't think you deserve such a grand prize, either. Perhaps someone else, someone who has given you advice on your situation, seeks to rid himself of your presence for his own benefit, and thought to use your weakness for Elizabeth to his advantage?”

Michaela looked over at Hugh as Harliss stood face-to-face with her. Sir Hugh looked decidedly uncomfortable, and Michaela became furious.

“Hugh?” Michaela heard Roderick say, but her attention was brought back to Harliss, whispering in her face words meant for Michaela's ears alone.

“I warned you not to trifle with me, Miss Fortune, and I am not finished with you, by far. With any of you,” she emphasized. “When you think to cross me again, remember this: cold water does not trouble me, and my arms are very, very strong.”

“You're mad,” Michaela said, hearing the tremble in her own voice. The woman made absolutely no sense at all, and it was terrifying.

“Yes,” Harliss hissed with a smile. “Quite. You must be, to bear what I have in my life.”

Then she turned and was scrambling up onto her horse like a gray insect.

“Good day, Lord Cherbon, Lady Michaela,” Alan Tornfield said. “Again, I apologize for any trouble.”

“Think naught of it, Tornfield,” Roderick answered. “Of course you are all welcome to attend the wedding. Next week, likely. I'll send word.” To Michaela's ears, the invitation sounded like a goad.

Alan nodded stiffly and then turned his horse and led the members of his household back down the woodland road until they had all disappeared.

It was Roderick's voice that stirred Michaela from her stare.

“See that Miss Fortune and Leo are returned to the keep safely, Hugh.” He looked to the sky and Michaela noticed it had gone cold, ash gray, the exact shade of Harliss's eyes. “A storm comes on quickly and I have business to tend to.” Then he spurred his mount into a gallop and was gone.

Michaela let her eyes pin Hugh Gilbert, who held a now-sleeping Leo cradled in one elbow against his chest. “You brought her here, didn't you? Elizabeth. For once, Harliss spoke true.”

“Don't be silly,” Hugh scoffed. “And you haven't been following my advice, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Michaela sneered as she gained her own mount with some difficulty. “If I had, I doubt I would be getting married in a matter of days, or that Roderick would be spending so much time with his son.”

Hugh looked as if Michaela had slapped him. “It's a phase. It will pass. You don't know him as I do.”

“You're right, I don't know him as you do. And I don't think you know him at all.” Michaela nodded her head toward the road. “I'll follow you.”

Hugh arched a sardonic eyebrow at her, but nudged his mount forward all the same. “This should be amusing,” he muttered.

“Oh, I doubt you find anything about it funny in the least.”

Michaela was unwilling to let Hugh from her sight for even a moment, lest he try to cowardly escape from the discussion she was determined to have with him, and so she followed him to Leo's small but lavish chamber and oversaw him placing the boy in his bed for a late nap. Beyond the boy's room, thunder rumbled like a whispered promise of punishment yet to come, and Michaela knew Roderick was correct about the impending storm.

She watched Hugh's gentleness with Leo, the ruffling of his hair, the tucking of the thick coverlet securely under Leo's chin, nestling into the crook of Leo's arm a ragged, stuffed, appendageless doll. And even though she was furious at Roderick's closest friend, she realized that Hugh and Leo truly loved each other, and it made Michaela a bit sorry for what she was about to say to him.

But not sorry enough to not say it.

Hugh straightened from the bed and seemed to give an exasperated eyeroll to see Michaela still standing near the doorway.

“You don't give up, do you?” he whispered, and walked past her through the doorway.

She followed close on his heels, pulling Leo's door to softly after her. “Was it not you who told me to be relentless?”

Hugh walked down the corridor ahead of her and threw his hands over his head. “Absolutely no concept of context!” He glanced over his shoulder. “Very well, then—where would you give me your fierce dressing-down for whatever atrocities you believe I've executed against you, Miss Fortune?”

“Your chamber is closest, is it not?”

A score more paces and Hugh shoved open a door on the right side of the corridor. Michaela realized that Sir Hugh's room lay between Leo's and Roderick's, and she was not at all surprised. She followed him into the room.

All of the suites at Cherbon were lavishly outfitted, from the architecture itself to the rich furnishings, but Hugh's room was luxurious to the extreme. It seemed as if he had taken bits from all about the keep—from about the world, really—to decorate his private space, and Michaela imagined the room would rival many a royal chamber.

There were wide, upholstered benches and armchairs, their velvets glistening in the dim light and tossed over with rich throws and cushions; thick, sculpted rugs in vivid colors Michaela had never seen covered the whole of the floor, giving the room a close, hushed atmosphere, and she felt as though she was walking on a dense mattress. The bed was draped in what appeared to be bright silks, with more shiny cushions and throws tossed about and slinked over the edges of the mattress. Bright, polished weaponry—some pieces quite strange—adorned the walls, between elaborate tapestries depicting scenes of men in battle, of old Roman gods, of people in various stages of undress. Giant, dyed feathers and dried grasses stood in tall ceramic urns. The room had a sweet smell of lingering incense and Michaela had to admit that she was quite jealous of Sir Hugh Gilbert's home at Cherbon.

“I am rather surprised you took it upon yourself to help Rick mount a horse. Looking at you, one would not think you had the strength.” The man flopped down in one of the upholstered chairs, tossing one leg carelessly over the arm. He laced his fingers together over his chest and regarded her with weary amusement. Outside, the rain arrived on Cherbon with a roar.

“I likely don't,” Michaela answered. “Roderick mounted on his own.”

Hugh's eyebrows shot up. “Obviously he had a stableman assist him before you arrived.”

“No, we all—he and I and Leo—arrived at the stables together. I saw him mount. He seemed to do quite fine—why would you insist he need help?”

“I don't know why you're lying to me but—”

“I'm not lying to you! Ask him yourself.”

“Fine! I will! Now get on with whatever you have to say before I throw you out of this room. You're terribly annoying, Miss Fortune, and I have had quite my fill already of annoying women.” He sighed and leaned his head back against the chair, his eyes closing as if already dismissing her.

Michaela felt there was no need to dance around the subject. “Why do you hate me? What have I done to offend you so, Sir Hugh, that you would set out to sabotage not only my own efforts at Cherbon, but Roderick's very future at his family home?”

“Oh, spare me,” Hugh muttered.

“No, I shan't,” Michaela insisted with a frown. He wasn't going to quip his way out of this. “You lured Elizabeth Tornfield here with hopes that she might persuade me to leave Cherbon, didn't you?”

“You're paranoid, Miss Fortune,” he scoffed.

“I am not! You gave me advice under the guise of ‘helping me,' and each time I followed it, Roderick moved farther away!”

Hugh held up both palms and raised his eyebrows. “Then you obviously executed my advice incorrectly. Proof that you are no woman for Roderick Cherbon,” he said simply.

“I am the
only
woman for him,” Michaela insisted. “And how dare you think to take upon yourself the machinations of his life! You are supposed to be his closest friend!”

“I
am
his closest friend.”

“No! No, you're not!” Michaela stepped toward him, her fists clenched at her sides to keep from throwing something at him. “A friend would seek to aid Roderick in gaining everything he desires, everything he needs—not plot against him to keep him weak and miserable.”

Hugh laughed. “
You
are the interloper here, Miss Fortune. I have known Roderick for more than three years. I have been through battle with him, sickness, seen him over Death's very threshold and back again. If there is one of us in this chamber who knows what Roderick needs, well”—he looked her up and down—“it is certainly
not
you. I know you've fooled yourself into thinking you might one day come to love him, but in truth, all you will be good for is making him miserable.”

“I already love him,” Michaela said fiercely.

Hugh seemed more than a little shocked for several moments. But he recovered, and his smug look returned. “You may
think
you do, but you don't truly know him. He is a wealthy novelty for you, and perhaps a bit of a charity. But for myself, for Leo—the three of us have a history together. You can never surmount that. You're an outsider.”

“Perhaps I was when you departed for Tornfield, but no longer,” Michaela challenged. “He's sought
me
out in your absence, confided in
me
.”

Hugh smirked. “Really? And what great secrets did he impart, hmm? What he wanted for his din-din?”

“He told me about Aurelia. That Leo is not his son by his blood.”

“Well, that
is
impressive, I concede. But it's hardly something that you would not have learned eventually, any matter.” Hugh shrugged. Then his eyes narrowed, and a wicked gleam came into them. “Has he told you he will never make love to you?”

Michaela's face burned. “Yes. But I believe I can change that. It's only…only reluctance due to—”

Hugh laughed uproariously. “You can't change that, ducky! Trust me, that condition is most permanent.” His face sobered. “You think you've got him though, don't you? That you and he and Leo are going to be one jolly family, and Miss Fortune will right any little trouble Lord Cherbon seems to have, isn't that it? Thank you so very much, Sir Hugh, for devoting your life to this man and his son, but now that I'm here, we have no further need of you. Good day and good luck. Well, I will tell you now, Michaela”—Hugh rose from his chair suddenly and advanced on her—“you will
never
do it. You can
never
know the man he was before Heraclea—how unlike his father he was when he came to battle.”

His very stance before Michaela seemed to challenge her. “Did he tell you, when we engaged, all of us were nearly starved, our supply routes having been cut off for weeks? There were few horses left for the soldiers to fight on because we
ate them
, Miss Fortune. We were ambushed in our camp, in the dark of night. Most men were slaughtered before they could gain their feet and flee, and the ones who did escape—myself and two generals included—could only do so because Roderick mounted his own horse and rushed into a band of attackers alone. A score of Saracen soldiers on horseback, armed with lances and swords, swarmed 'round him like beez-z-z-z.” He let the last word draw out maliciously. “I watched it—weaponless, helpless! They dragged him from his horse and only left him because they thought him dead. Roderick Cherbon's last act of selflessness saved my life.”

Michaela's throat was so tight she could barely force words through it. “But did you not also save his? By taking him to Aurelia?”

“What I did was no noble act. I had already lost everything, I had nothing to go back to. No home, no family, all my friends were dead, save the man who had saved me. Roderick was the only sane thing left to cling to. Him, and then Leo.”

“You saved Roderick's life so that you would have someone to support you?”

“I wish it were as simple as greed! I took him to Aurelia so that he might live, yes, but I needed him to live so that I could spend the rest of
my
life trying to repay him for what he did. My life, at last, had meaning, purpose.” Hugh stepped closer to Michaela. “Every move Roderick makes, every word he utters, every curse at me, every slight now for you, stems from that battle. From what he lost when his father forced him on that pilgrimage. Roderick was never like Magnus—the man who drove Dorian mad, mad enough to kill herself, leaving her only surviving child in the clutches of those
monsters
. And now Roderick reckons it was he who had it wrong all along—his father was the man in the right.
I
am the only one who can change that, for
I
am the only one who knows what he's been through.”

“Noble sentiments, Sir Hugh,” Michaela said. “But I don't believe it. Roderick needs a woman—a wife. He needs softness in his life now, and I can—”

“You can't be his woman, you stupid bitch! He won't let you!”

“He will in time!” Michaela insisted. “Because
I love him
, Hugh! I've told Roderick as I will tell you: they're only scars! I don't care—”

“They're not just scars, Michaela!” Hugh roared, and Michaela thought she saw a welling of tears in Hugh's cold eyes. “His leg is
gone!
”

Michaela went stone-cold in an instant, and chills overtook her skin. “Why…why would you say such a thing, Hugh?”

“Because it's true.” There
were
tears in Hugh's eyes—cold, angry, resentful. Guilty. “A handsbreadth below Roderick's left knee—
nothing
. Gone. No foot, no ankle, no calf.”

“That's impossible,” Michaela whispered.

“
I was there
when they took it.
I held him down
.”

“But he walks! His boots—”

“His left boot is a construction. Wood, wool—leather straps to above his knee. That's how I know you lied to me when you said he mounted his horse alone—what's left of his leg and the boot he wears has not the strength to see him into the saddle, and to mount with his right is impossible; his left leg has not the flexibility to raise up and over.”

“But he
did
mount alone, I saw him!” Michaela felt she had been flung back into one of her nightmares.

“You likely saw what Rick wanted you to see, is all. And that is why he will never make love to you. He is not whole. He feels he is no longer a man—can't mount a horse properly, can't fight. He would never let you see him like that. Only me.
Only
…me, Miss Fortune.”

“But he”—Michaela swallowed hard. “He's destroyed his walking stick. He no longer uses it! Since you've been gone—”

“I don't know what game you play, but I will not allow it to continue,” Hugh growled, and for the first time, Michaela knew a growing fear of this handsome, lanky man. He was furious with her. “You don't deserve a man like Roderick Cherbon, and I will not let you have him!”

Michaela huffed a nervous laugh. “Why, Sir Hugh, it sounds as though you yourself are in lo—” Michaela broke off abruptly as Hugh Gilbert's face paled and he turned away from her.

She brought a hand to her mouth for a moment, as the pieces fell into place.
“You're in love with him,”
she whispered.

After a moment, he glanced over his shoulder at her, although his eyes fell short of her face. A slight, sad smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “Guilty,” he said quietly.

“Oh my God.” Michaela walked past Hugh to sit upon one of the upholstered benches. Her legs would no longer support her. “Does he know?”

Hugh laughed. “Of course not. What kind of fool do you take me for, Miss Fortune? I know that any affection Rick holds for me is not…is not of the same nature as my own. But I don't care. I only want…” He trailed off with a wave of his hand.