Taming the Darkness: Love & Monsters, Book 2 (6 page)

“I think my vaccine had a lot of werewolf in it.”

She looked up with her eyebrows raised. “Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“No, but I guess it could have been.” He snorted a laugh.

She taped down the pad and leaned back to inspect it. “That should do. I’d be freaking out if I hadn’t seen how fast you heal. Those claw wounds are awful.”

“If I was human, I’d be dead. Or infected. Guess that wouldn’t be much different from what I am now.”

She frowned at him. “Do you really believe that?”

Victor shrugged.

“You said you tell the truth at night. So what’s the truth?”

“I hate myself. I hate having this thing inside me. I hate not having control.” It felt strangely good to say it out loud.

She dug in the kit. “You have some control.”

“Now, with you.”

Claire glanced up. “There you go with the puppy-dog eyes again.” Her scent changed and his heart sped up at the hint of desire.

“I’ll make those eyes all the time if they make you smell like that.”

“Oh, dammit. Can you smell everything?” Now there was a hint of fear.

“Closed space. Hard not to,” he said. “I’m not gonna jump you. Unless you ask me to.”

She glared at him and then shook her head. She poured more disinfectant on another cotton pad and leaned up to reach his face. The nasty had left claw marks across the right side of his face, barely missing his eye. Would it have healed if it got clawed out? Probably, but he didn’t want to test it. Besides, it would make him half-blind for at least a while. That would suck.

She dabbed at the slashes although they had stopped bleeding. “How would that even work? If your blood can infect me, then what about biting? Kissing?” Her tone was casual, but her scent and body language told a different story.

“My bite’s not infectious, or my claws or anything else. Just the blood.”

“How do you know?”

“They tested it. Had me bite a few people. None of them turned.”

She stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

Something jumped on the roof, claws scrabbling on metal. Claire jumped and then growled. “Fucking nasties.”

“They’re eating the one you killed. I can hear them.” He’d been listening to them, the sounds muffled by the metal surrounding them.

“I’m glad it’s him and not us.” She finished dabbing at his wound and took a smaller gauze pad out of the kit. She taped down two sides and reached for another pad.

Having her so close with all her conflicting scents had him on edge. Especially the smell of blood from the cut on her head. He closed his eyes and started humming. “And the mome raths outgrabe.”

“What the fuck are you doing now?” she asked.

“I named it.”

“What?”

He opened his eyes. “Project J. J for Jabberwocky. Thought it was funny.”

She stared at him. “Are you breaking down on me?”

He smiled. “Just as crazy as I was yesterday.”

“I can’t believe I signed up for this.” She finished taping the second pad where it overlapped the first, then she stood and backed away from him. “I think that’ll do for now.”

Victor looked down at his hands, turning them over to study his fingernails. They looked fine, but he wanted to be sure. He took the disinfectant and poured some into his palm, rubbing it all over both his hands. With nothing to wipe them on, he waved them in the air to dry.

“What are you doing?”

“Your turn. You have a cut on your head.” He took out a cotton pad.

“My head is fine, except for this lump, but you can’t do anything about that.” She peeled off her gloves and stuffed them in a plastic bag she was using for trash.

“Let me clean off the blood at least.” He poured disinfectant on the pad, fighting the urge to demand she sit and stop arguing. He really
could
control himself around her.

She stared at him for a long moment and then sat on the floor. Victor slid over to her, taking the kit with him. She eyed him warily as he started wiping at the drying blood near her temple. He followed the trail past her hairline and found the small cut. She winced just once, and only a little. Cleaning her cut was strangely calming, and the monster didn’t even react to the blood. “Probably don’t even need a bandage,” he said. Her scent cut through the sharp smell of disinfectant. Claire didn’t smell like anyone else. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said he wanted to roll around in her scent, to wake up with the smell of her still on his skin.

His control only went so far.

Victor leaned down and kissed her. She jerked back and stared at him with wide eyes, her scent confused. It was going to be last night all over again. Control. He had to control himself. It wanted to kiss her, to do a lot more than that. Victor fought against the images flooding his mind and backed away from her. The wounds in his side screamed a protest and he pressed a hand to the bandage. He bumped against the wall, couldn’t go any farther.

Claire stared at him, the fingers of one hand pressed against her lips.

Chapter Five

“What the hell?” she managed after a moment. Her heart beat so fast it made her a little light-headed.

“Sorry,” Victor muttered, his eyes downcast.

Claire wondered what she smelled like to him now. Was her scent as confused as her emotions? She felt torn in two—half of her was disgusted and wanted to stay as far away from him as possible, and the other half wanted to kiss him back.

Something big ran into the back of the AV, making it shake. She jumped and the chains hanging from the walls rattled. She looked at the back doors, waiting to see if it would happen again, if whatever it was might be able to get in. If something broke in, they would have to make a run for it, and their odds of getting back to the city alive weren’t good. There were too many of them out there and she and Victor were too far out. Why had she thought it was a good idea to come out so far? Oh, that’s right, so she could prove herself. She’d always wondered in the back of her mind if that streak of glory hound was going to get her killed. So far luck and her practical side had kept her alive, but this time she’d ignored her practical side and her luck might have run out.

She strained her ears, listening to the faint noises outside. Wet sounds, crunching and the occasional burst of aggressive noises. They were feeding on the big nasty she’d killed. Claire had been fighting them for years, and they still deeply disturbed her. A minute passed.

“It’s busy eating,” Victor said.

“Do you think it can get in here if it tries again?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.” She turned to him.

Victor shrugged. “Not gonna lie just to make you feel better.”

Claire almost smiled. The force was supposed to have gender equality, but many of her male partners and colleges tried to
protect
her by hiding how bad things were or even by outright lying. Victor might try to physically protect her, but he wasn’t going to coddle her like some of her partners had. “Good, I’d rather have honesty.”

“Told you I was honest at night.” A glint of humor lit his eyes.

“What’s it like for you at night? What goes on in your head?”

He looked at the floor. “My thoughts jump around more. It’s been better the last few days, but it’s hard for me to keep a train of thought. Scent is more important, and sound. And instinct. Instinct drives me, to fight, to kill, to…” He glanced at her, then away.

“Fuck?” She suggested, her stomach fluttering.

“Yes. No. To mate.”

“What’s the difference?”

He met her gaze, silent for a long moment. “I don’t want something to fuck, I want
you
.”

It was bizarrely romantic. She shifted toward him and took a deep breath. The impulsive side was winning.

Victor also took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “My control only goes so far. Tell me to stay away or do something about it.” He opened his eyes and she saw the challenge there.

Her heart rate kicked up again and the practical voice in her head got quieter. She slid a foot toward him. Another. Shifting to her hands and knees, she crossed the short distance between them. Victor watched her intently, his breath coming faster. She leaned up on her knees, now only inches from him.

“Stay still,” she said.

Victor nodded. Oh, God, she couldn’t believe she was doing this. Claire licked her lips and watched his pupils dilate. Slowly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He trembled under her touch and it made her bolder. She urged his lips open and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Nothing in the kiss made him seem like a monster, even his groan was entirely human. He leaned a little toward her, just with his head, and kissed her back.

Victor broke the kiss. “Claire.” The whisper had a hint of growl beneath it. “I want you.”

“So you’ve said.” She leaned back, watching his eyes. She was starting to get used to his mismatched gaze. She was starting to get used to a lot of things.

“Even if I was worried about losing control, I’m too hurt to fuck you. So if you want to take advantage of the situation, feel free.” He shifted a little and winced, as if to demonstrate.

The practical side surfaced. “But you heal fast.”

“Not Wolverine fast.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “My face will be okay in about an hour. My side won’t be okay until probably dawn. The nasty got a few organs.”

She felt sick thinking about the damage those long claws had done. “Oh, painkillers. Shit, I should have thought of them sooner.” For herself too. Her head was still pounding and the bruises from the seatbelt ached. “Um…do they work on you? Or did the vaccine change that?”

“They work. I just need more of them.”

Claire dug in the first-aid kit for the bottle of aspirin and also pulled out the carefully packaged morphine syringes. He held the syringes up. “Should I use this instead?”

“You want to get me high?” He smiled.

She rolled her eyes.

He pressed a hand to his side and the smile faded. “Give me the morphine.”

She opened the package and pulled the cover off one of the needles. Victor held out his arm. She stuck the needle in, just like she’d been shown in first-aid training. After a moment, he sighed. “That’s better.”

“You should have asked for it sooner,” she said as she pulled out an aspirin for herself.

“Didn’t think of it. I’m easily distracted.” His smile this time was dreamy.

Claire took a pill and washed it down with water from a bottle. She considered how much she hurt and took a second pill. She couldn’t imagine what Victor was going through. “Have you been hurt this bad before?”

“Not this bad, although since I’ve been altered I’ve had some nasty injuries.” He chuckled and repeated, “Nasty. Nasty injuries from nasties.” Morphine didn’t make you silly, so that was just him.

“What did you do before this?” She settled down with a few inches of space between them.

“I was evening shift. Before that I worked in the weapons factory after putting in my four months in the night shift.” Tension leaked out of him as the morphine continued to work.

“Were you called back in, or did you choose to come back?” All able-bodied people, with few exceptions, could be called back into rotation on the force.

“I chose to. I got restless not going out to fight them.”

She smiled. “I hate to admit it, but we’re a lot alike. Sometimes I take a few months off to keep myself sane, but I keep coming back. I have to know I’m
doing
something, and working in a factory or a greenhouse just isn’t enough.”

“Not much glory there either,” he teased.

She straightened, her bruises protesting. “You keep bringing that up. You got a problem with me?”

“No problem with glory hounds, as long as they don’t step on me to get to the glory.”

“You’re my ticket to the glory. If I step on you, no glory.”

“That’s not reassuring,” he said.

“How about this—I don’t step on my partners. I might be a bit of a glory hound, but I’m not an asshole about it.” She shifted, uncomfortable at having to defend herself.

“Fair enough. If this project fails, they’ll kill me. Throw me out like a defective weapon.”

“You mentioned that the first day.” Part of her had agreed with the idea then. Only a few days ago, and so much had changed. “What about me? Would they get rid of me to cover up the whole thing?”

Victor shrugged and winced. “They might. They were willing to put you in a cell with me, send you out alone with me, knowing I could turn on you. You’re not exactly precious to them.”

The thought chilled her. “So now that I’m not worried about you eating me, we have to worry that if we fail we might be killed by our own people. Great.”

“But we’re not gonna fail, are we?”

She looked around pointedly. “We’re trapped in the back of a broken AV and surrounded by nasties. They might not consider this a success.”

“We’re still alive,” he pointed out.