Tangerine Morning: Jezzica's Story (Serenity Cove Series) (23 page)

“Jezzica?” The voice was filled with panic. Jezzica looked over and locked eyes with her sister. Catylen rushed and knelt in front of her. “Thank God, you’re okay. I was so frightened. You could have died out there.”

“Caty, Zack is still missing. The horror is happening all over again.”

“Shh. I talked with the Coast Guard outside and they’re still doing a search and rescue. That means there is a chance he’s still alive.” She pulled Jezzica against her and held her like a mother comforting a child. “They’ll find him—they just have to.” Catylen began praying. Jezzica slid off the chair next to her sister, joining her words with Catylen’s. She and God weren’t on very good terms these days. She hoped He was listening.

Cuddled next to her sister, exhaustion took over. Her sister gently shook her awake. “Come on.” She led Jezzica outside. An ambulance waited with the back doors opened.

“I won’t leave. I have to wait.”

“Just come on.” She led Jezzica to the ambulance.

Jezzica lifted her eyes and there was Zack. Tears streamed. She tried to speak, but the words knotted in her throat. Catylen helped her climb into the back of the emergency vehicle. Jezzica laid her head on Zack’s chest. “I thought—”

“Miss, we need to take him to the hospital—he’s swallowed a lot of water.” The EMT assisted her out of the ambulance. Jezzica stood with Catylen as they drove away.

Catylen looked at her sister. “Maybe Doc should look you over, too?”

“No. I’m fine. Let’s go home.”

“After you shower and change, we’ll go to the hospital.” She placed her arm protectively across Jezzica’s shoulders.

“No. I’m just going to rest a while.” She couldn’t risk loving him only to lose him. It hurt too much.
I refuse to do it again.

Chapter Thirty-seven
 

How could this be God’s will?
How had Jezzica and I reversed from sixty to zero in the course of only a few hours?
Zack shook his head, desperate to believe that God was working His plan for his life.

“Hey, Zack.” Nicole strolled into his hospital room and tugged a chair closer to the bed. “I heard your boat capsized. How are you?”

“Other than going crazy laying here?”

“According to the news reports, it took the Coast Guard a while to find you.”

“They found me barely conscious, clutching one of the boat’s life preservers. I have no idea how I ended up with it.”

“Whatever happened, I’m glad you’re okay.” She smiled at him. “I’m not ready to lose a partner. How long before you’re out of here?”

“There’s a risk of pneumonia. It can’t be soon enough to suit me.”

“And Jezzica. How is she?” Nicole’s expression held a sincere caring.

“She was rescued quickly, and from what I hear she’s fine.”

“From what you hear? She hasn’t come to visit you?” She rolled her eyes.

Zack rubbed the back of his neck. “The whole episode really scared her yesterday.”

“Need a ride home when they spring you?” Nicole beamed another smile at him.

“No. I’m good. Everything’s arranged.” Zack was glad when Evelyn briskly rolled a wheelchair into the room.

“Sorry.” She motioned to Nicole. “I need to steal my patient for a few minutes.”

Zack looked at Nicole. “Thanks for dropping by. I’ll catch you later.” Nicole looked as if he’d dismissed her, and he had. He wasn’t going down that road again.

It surprised Zack how much effort it required, getting from the bed to the wheelchair. A chest x-ray would determine whether he was going home or staying.

Back in his room, his bed had been straightened and Evelyn helped him maneuver onto it. “Lunch should be here soon. And Doc will be in around two.” She left as energetically as she had arrived.

Zack returned to his earlier staring out the window, but before he could return to analyzing life, another visitor arrived. Catylen moved next to the bed and sat in the chair vacated by Nicole.

She smiled, nervously fidgeting with the rings on her left hand. “My coming here is crossing all kinds of lines.”

“I’m glad you did. How’s Jezz?”

“She’s in with Doc right now.” She must have noticed the concern on Zack’s face. “Just a precaution—she’s fine.” Catylen stared out the window, as though struggling with the reason for her visit.

“Caty, what is it?” Zack prepared himself to hear Jezzica wanted nothing more to do with him.

“Yesterday frightened Jezz. She found herself reliving a nightmare that almost killed her.” She folded her hands in her lap as though trying to control her nervous movements.

“If I’d set out to drive her away—I couldn’t have been more successful.” Zack shook his head. “Now there’s no recourse.”

“Zack, don’t give up on Jezz that easily. Give her time.” Her fingers found her rings once again. “I won’t say she’s in love—no, actually I will go out on a proverbial limb—my sister’s in love with you.”

“I want to believe that, because I’m crazy about her.” Zack looked out the window and back to Catylen. “So I should just wait?”

“For now. Let her come to you.” Catylen stood and leaned over, placing a kiss on Zack’s cheek. “Thanks for listening. Call, if you need anything once you get home.” She scooted out the door, leaving a ray of hope behind, and he would gladly take it.

Chapter Thirty-eight
 

Jezzica backed out of the driveway and guilt hit the pit of her stomach. She drove to the bookshop, ignoring the small nagging voice in her heart. With the grand opening just days away, a quiet Sunday morning provided the perfect time to attack her list of final touches.

She turned the key in the door of the bookshop, and again awareness crowded her thoughts. She relocked the door, and drove to the church. Stepping out of the car, voices rose in songs of worship from inside the main chapel. She quietly opened the door and tiptoed down the carpeted aisle, laying her hand on her sister’s shoulder. Catylen nudged the girls and they scooted over, making room for Jezzica. With great effort, Jezzica forced her attention to the service.

She relaxed as the children’s choir marched on stage. They performed “Jacob’s Ladder,” and she smiled at all of the little hands making climbing motions in the air. The group paused, and then lifted their sweet voices in imperfect harmony, singing, “Jesus Loves Me.” A warm peace warmed her like a fire on a cold evening. Tears washed down her face. Catylen reached over and held her sister’s hand.
How had I forgotten the most important thing—He loves me
. The little voices finished, “for the Bible tells me so.”

Stifled, almost unable to breathe, Jezzica stood and forced herself to walk—not run—out the door she had entered only a short time earlier. She drove home, and jogged down the steps onto the sand. Instead of continuing into a smooth run, she settled onto the old weathered bench. She stared at the waves leaving strips of white foam on the shore.

Dr. Ellie strolled over, and sat on the wooden bench next to her. They both watched the water repeatedly flowing on and then receding off the shore. Several minutes lapsed before Jezzica broke the silence.

“I blamed God for my husband’s death. I doubted His love and He still loved me enough to put it in my heart to go to church today.”

Dr. Ellie nodded. “The Bible compares His love to a parents’ love for their children. The point being, He loves us with an even greater love. No matter how far we roam—He still calls us by name.”

“I listened to the children sang “Jesus Loves Me,” it all came flooding back. All the verses and songs I’d learned in my childhood.”

“He knew how to reach you, right when you needed it most.” She reached for Jezzica’s hand. “Father, thank you for the way you speak to our hearts. That like the shepherd who seeks, even risks his life for one of his sheep, when we’ve wandered away from You, You reach out, call us by name, and draw us back.”

Gratitude rose within Jezzica. She remembered the prayer she’d prayed with Catylen while the Coast Guard searched for Zack. “Father, thank you for saving Zack’s life.” She bit down on her lip. “And please forgive me for turning away from you. For doubting your love.”

The two women sat quietly, staring at the sea. Dr. Ellie shifted her position and faced Jezzica. “Want to talk about Zack?”

“I’ve decided to close that door. I have my family and my shop—I don’t need anything else.”

“You are blessed. But is that enough for you? You’re refusing the chance to love and be loved?”

“I’m turning down the risk of being hurt again—it’s too painful.”

“If we allow fear to dictate our lives, it paralyzes and prevents us from living our lives to the fullest. Come by my house tomorrow and we’ll talk a little more.” Dr. Ellie rose from the bench and Jezzica walked with her toward the cottages.

At the foot of Jezzica’s stairs, Dr. Ellie gave her a hug. “Do some thinking about fear. How has it influenced your actions and decisions?”

“Around noon good for you?” Jezzica shaded her eyes with her hand.

“Perfect.”

Jezzica placed the toe of her shoe on the first step. “Thanks for today. It meant a lot to me, and I really do want to work through this.”

“And you will, I promise. See you tomorrow.” Dr. Ellie waved and moved toward her cottage.

Jezzica hurried on up the steps. She grabbed a bottle of water and headed to the bookshop.

She unlocked the door, and a glow of satisfaction shone in her eyes. What if she’d allowed fear to keep her from buying the shop? Maybe it was Dr. Ellie’s earlier question that had her analyzing fear. She recalled the first time she’d walked into the bookshop and found Samantha out back with her dog, Goldie. She’d trembled, asking her if the shop was still available. But the strongest fear waited to launch its attack until she had bought the business. Anxiety had riddled her with concern. Could she really make a go of it? That question remained to be answered. Determination drove her forward. And then there was selling her house in April Springs and moving to Serenity Cove. There were moments she had struggled to breathe. The known was so painful that the unknown became her saving grace. The only way to survive was to start over, away from the way of life that had belonged to her and Geoff, as a couple.

The fear paled in comparison. The situation with Zack was different. Instead of trying to move forward, she would be risking having her heart ripped out, again. The boat incident proved her point, didn’t it?

The shop door opened. Jezzica cringed as Nicole looked around. “It looks great.”

“Thanks we’re opening on Saturday.”

“Can we talk?” Nicole stood there in her uniform, looking more angelic than police officer. Her sassy blond hair and startling blue eyes held no hint of a woman capable of shooting someone in the line of duty.

“Sure. As long as it isn’t about Zack.” Jezzica led the way to the upholstered chairs flanking the new fireplace. “What can I do for you?” Her matter-of-fact tone stopped short of being rude.

“I’m sorry, but we
need
to talk about Zack.”

“Nicole, you’re crossing major lines here. It really doesn’t concern you.”

“Just so you know, I’m going to make a play for him—big time.”

“And that would interest me—why exactly?” Jezzica swallowed her rising anger.