Authors: Rachel Gibson
This has just been so much harder than I thought it was going to be. I dont take my own photos for the books, and I thought I could do this.
Maybe she had to immerse herself in the details and feel them in order to write about them. Hell, what did he know? He didnt even read books that often.
She looked up at him. I have to go. She grabbed her camera off the bar and walked around him. On her way out, she picked up her jacket and purse off one of the stools where shed set them earlier.
This evening had turned to shit and he did not know why. He didnt know what hed done or hadnt done. Hed thought shed take a few photos. Theyd have a drink, talk, and, yeah, hopefully get naked. He followed Maddie through the back and out into the alley.
Are you going to be okay to drive? he asked as he stepped from the back door.
She stood just inside the pool of light and fumbled to shove her arms into the sleeves of her jacket. She nodded, and her purse dropped to the ground by her foot. Instead of picking it up, she covered her face with her hands.
Why dont I take you home? He moved toward her, then bent down and picked up her purse. Hed been raised by females, but he did not understand Maddie Dupree. Youre too upset to drive.
She looked up at him through liquid eyes as a tear spilled over her bottom lashes. Mick, I have to tell you something about me. Something I should have told you weeks ago.
He didnt like the sound of that. Youre married. He put her bag on the hood of her car and waited.
She shook her head. IIm She let out a breath and brushed the tears from her cheeks. Im notIm afraidI cant She wrapped her arms around his neck and glued her body to his. I cant get the crime scene photos out of my head.
That was it? Thats why she was so upset? He didnt know what to say. What to do. He felt helpless and he slid his hands around her sides and held her. The skin across his abdomen got tight, and he knew what hed like to do. He figured it was a good thing she couldnt read his mind, but it was her fault, really. She shouldnt have pressed into him and clung to his neck.
Mick?
Hmm? Tonight she smelled like vanilla again and he ran his hands up and down her back. Holding her was almost as good as sex.
How many condoms do you have on you?
His hand stilled. Hed bought a box of Trojans yesterday. I have twelve in the truck.
That ought to be enough.
He pulled back to look into her face, her profile lit by the light at the back of Hennessys. I dont understand you, Maddie Dupree.
Lately, I dont understand myself. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought his mouth down to hers. And where youre concerned, I just cant seem to do the right thing.
L ate the next morning, Maddie stood in her kitchen and raised a steaming cup of coffee to her lips. She wore her white bathrobe and her wet hair was slicked back from her shower. Last night shed almost told Mick that Alice Jones was her mother. She should have told him, but each time she opened her mouth, she couldnt say the words. She hadnt been afraid to tell him, but for some reason, she just couldnt tell him. Maybe the timing was off. Another time would be better.
More than anything, shed needed him to help clear her head of the horrible images. Shed been to her mothers grave and she hadnt fallen apart. But standing in the exact spot where her mother had died, shed felt like someone had reached inside her chest and ripped out her heart. Perhaps if she hadnt seen the photos of her mothers blood and her blond hair stained a dark brown. Perhaps her world wouldnt have flipped upside down and she wouldnt have gotten so emotional.
She hated getting emotional, especially in front of other people. Most specifically in front of Mick, but hed been there and seen it and shed needed someone to hold on to and focus on when everything seemed so unbalanced.
Hed followed her home and shed taken his hand and led him into the bedroom. Hed kissed her in all those places hed said hed been thinking about. He set every nerve ending in her body on fire, and she knew she should feel bad about being with him again. It was wrong of her, but being with him felt too good to feel really bad.
Meow.
Snowball wove a figure eight between her feet and she looked down at her cat. How had her life come to this? She had a cat in her house and a Hennessy in her bed.
She set her cup on the counter and moved to the pantry to grab a bag of kitten food. A dead mouse lay on the floor and Snowball sniffed its tail. Shed moved the poison the night shed decided to keep Snowball, but that didnt mean the mouse hadnt eaten the bait. Dont eat that or youll get sick. She grabbed Snowball and carried her into the laundry room. Snowball purred and butted her head against Maddies chin. And I know for a fact you did not sleep in your bed. I found white fur on my office chair. She set the kitten in her Amazon box and poured food onto a little dish. I do not want to walk around with white fur on my butt. Snowball jumped out of her box and attacked her food as if she hadnt eaten in a week. Last night as Mick had walked from the bathroom, a smug, satisfied smile tilting one corner of his lips, the kitten had stalked him across the carpet and attacked his leg.
What the hell? hed yelped and danced around as Snowball had dashed back under the bed. I cant believe I wasted money buying that damn thing a collar.
Maddie had laughed and patted the bed next to her. Come here so I can make you feel better after the big bad cat attack.
Hed moved to the bed and pulled her up so she knelt before him. Im going to make you pay for laughing at me. And he had. All night long, and when shed woken this morning, she was alone. Again. She would have liked to have woken and seen his face, his blue eyes looking at her, all sleepy and sated, but it was better this way. Better to keep a distance even though theyd shared a night as physically close as two people could possibly get.
While Snowball chowed, Maddie picked up the mouse with a paper towel and carried it to the garbage outside. She called a local veterinarian and made Snowball an appointment for the first week in August. Her low-carb granola bars had teeth marks on the outside of the box, but the bars looked okay. As she took a bite, her doorbell rang.
Through the peephole she gazed at Mick, standing on her porch, looking showered and shaved and relaxed in a pair of Levis and an untucked striped shirt over a wife beater. She ignored the little tumble in her stomach and opened the door.
Howd you sleep? he asked as a knowing little smile brought out his dimples.
She opened the door wide and he stepped in side. I think it was around three when I finally passed out.
It was three-thirty. He walked past her and she shut the door behind him. Wheres your cat? he asked as they moved into the living room.
Eating breakfast. Are you scared of a little kitty?
Of that Tasmanian furball? He made a rude scoffing sound and pulled a little stuffed mouse from the front pocket of his jeans. I got her some catnip to mellow her out. He tossed it on the coffee table. What are your plans?
She planned to work. Why?
I thought we could drive to Redfish Lake and get a bite to eat.
Like in a date?
Sure. He reached for the terrycloth belt and pulled her toward him. Why not?
Because they werent dating. They shouldnt even be having sex. Dating couldnt happen no matter how her stomach tumbled or her skin tingled.
Im hungry and I thought you might be hungry too. He dipped his head and kissed the side of her neck.
She moved her head to one side. She did have to eat, though. Why Redfish Lake?
Because they have a good restaurant in the lodge there, and I want to spend the whole day with you. He kissed the side of her throat. Say yes.
Ill need to get dressed. She pulled her belt from his grasp and turned away. As she entered her bedroom she called out, How far is Redfish Lake?
About an hour and a half, he answered from the doorway.
She hadnt expected him to follow her and she looked over at him as she grabbed a pair of underwear from a drawer. He leaned against the doorframe, and his eyes watched her, moving with her hands as she pulled up a pair of pink silky panties. His gaze felt very intimate. More intimate than when he kissed the insides of her thighs and his eyes turned that certain sexy blue. Intimate like they were a couple and it was normal for him to watch her dress. Like this relationship was more than it really was and more than it was ever going to be. As if there were a chance at tomorrows and the day afters. She raised her brows up her forehead. Do you mind?
Youre not going to get all modest, are you? Not after last night. She continued to stare at him until he sighed and pushed away from the doorframe. All right. Ill go get your cat stoned.
She watched him leave and tried not to think about tomorrow or the days after and things that could never be. She dressed quickly in a pink cotton sundress. She pulled her hair back in a claw and gazed in the mirror as she put on a little mascara and lip gloss.
In the harsh light of day, with her sexual desire sated and her emotions tightly under control, she knew she had to tell him she was Madeline Jones. He deserved to know.
The thought of telling him cramped her stomach and she wondered if he really had to be told at all. Last night she might not have been real tactful when shed brought up other women. Shed obviously made him mad, but the fact was, Mick Hennessy was no more a one-woman man than his father had been. Or his grandfather. Even if he wasnt seeing anyone else right now, he would get tired of Maddie. Hed move on sooner or later, so why tell him today?
If anything, she should clear up her mortifying outburst last night. She wasnt a woman who got all weepy and cried on a mans neck. Perhaps she hadnt broken down like some women were apt to do, but for her, it was a loss of control that embarrassed her. Even twelve hours later.
A half hour into their drive to Redfish, she decided to clear it up. Sorry about last night, she said above the country music filling the cab of Micks truck.
You dont have anything to be sorry about. You got a little loud, but I like that about you. He grinned and glanced at her through the lenses of his blue mirrored sunglasses before returning his gaze to the road. Sometimes I dont always understand everything you say, but you sound real sexy while youre saying it.
Somehow she suspected they werent talking about the same thing. I was talking about getting all emotional at Hennessys.
Oh. His thumb tapped against the steering wheel, keeping time to a song about a woman liking chrome. Dont worry about it.
She wished she could take his advice, but it wasnt that easy for her. There are just certain girls Ive never wanted to be. One of them is the emotional girl who cries all the time.
I dont think youre an emotional girl. Air from the vents touched the dark hair about his forehead. What are the other girls?
What?
You said there are girls you never wanted to be. Without taking his eyes from the road, he turned off the CD player and spoke into the sud denly silent cab. One is the emotional girl. What are the others?
Oh. She counted them off on her fingers. I dont ever want to be the stupid girl. Nor the get-drunk-and-slutty girl. The stalker girl or the butt girl.
He looked over at her. The butt girl?
Dont make me explain it to you.
He returned his gaze to the road and smiled. Then youre not talking about a girl with a big butt.
No.
Oh, so I guess I dont ever
Forget it.
He laughed. Some women say they like it.
Uh-huh. Some women say they like to be paddled, but Ill never know the pleasure of either.
Mick reached across the center console and took her hand. What about being tied to a bed?
She shrugged. I kind of like that.
He brought her hand to his mouth and smiled against her skin. I guess I know what were doing after I get off work.
Maddie laughed and turned her attention to the scenery. To the pines and thick brush and the South Fork of the Payette River. Idaho might grow famous potatoes, but it also had spectacular wilderness areas.
At the lodge, they sat at a table that looked out at the blue-green water of Redfish Lake and at the snow-covered peaks of the Sawtooth Mountains. They ate lunch and talked about the people in Truly. She told him about her friends, and about Lucys wedding last year and Clares impending nuptials. They talked about everything from the weather to world events, sports to the latest West Nile virus outbreaks.
They talked about almost everything but the reason she moved to Truly. By tacit agreement they avoided talking about the book she was writing and about the night his mother had killed two people and then herself.
The day was relaxing and fun, and during those rare moments when Maddie looked into his eyes, her conscience reminded her that he would not be with her if he knew who she really was. She shoved it down and ignored it. She turned a deaf ear, and by the ride home, shed buried her conscience so deep, it was just a faint whisper that was easily ignored.
Like the tie, Mick said as he opened her coat.
I thought Id return it.
He put his hands on her bare waist and brought her against his chest. Theres something about you, Maddie, he said as he looked into her eyes. Something more than the way you make love. Something that makes me think about you when Im pouring drinks or watching Travis strike out in T-ball.
She put her arms around his neck and her nipples brushed the front of his polo shirt. Against her pelvis, he was enormous and ready. This was the part where she should tell him that she thought about him too, but she couldnt. Not because it wasnt true. It was true, but it was best to keep things platonic until he moved on.
Instead of talking, she brought his mouth down to hers and her hand slid to the front of his pants. What had started as a one-night stand had turned into more nights. He wanted to see more of her. She wanted to see more of him, but it wasnt love. She did not love Mick, but she liked him a whole lot. Especially when he laid her on his bar and, between the bottles of alcohol, she caught glimpses in the mirror of his long hard body moving, driving, pushing her toward a release that curled her toes inside her pumps.
It was sex. Just sex. Ironically, the kind of relationship shed waited four years to find. Nothing more, and if she were to ever forget that fact, she had only to remind herself that while she knew his body intimately, she didnt even know his home phone number or where he lived. Mick might say that there was something about her, but whatever that something was, it wasnt enough to want her in his life.
T he morning of Snowballs vet appointment, Maddie packed up her kitten and drove into town. August was the hottest month of summer, and the weatherman predicted that the valley would heat up to a scorching ninety-three degrees.
Maddie sat in an examination room and watched as veterinarian John Tannasee checked out her kitten. John was a tall man with hard muscles beneath his lab coat and a Tom Selleck moustache. His voice was so deep it sounded as if it came from his feet. He gently looked in Snowballs ears and then checked her bottom, determining that Snowball was indeed a girl. He took her temperature and gave her a clean bill of health.
Her heterochromia doesnt appear to affect her vision. He scratched her between the ears and pointed out her other genetic defect. And her malocculusion isnt so bad that it will affect her eating.
Maddie understood what hed meant by heterochromia, but, Malocculusion?
Your cat has an overbite.
Maddie had never heard of such a thing in a cat and didnt quite believe it until he tipped the kittens head back and showed her Snowballs upper jaw was a bit longer than the bottom. For some strange reason, the kittens oral affliction made Maddie kind of like Snowball.
Shes bucktoothed, Maddie said in astonishment. Shes a hillbilly. She made a follow-up appointment to get Snowball spayed so that she couldnt produce any more big-headed hillbilly cats, then she and Snowball drove to the grocery store.
Behave, she warned her kitten as she pulled into the D-Lite Grocery Stores parking lot.
Meow.
Behave and maybe Ill get some Whisker Lickins. She groaned as she got out of the car and locked the door. Had she just said Whisker Lickins? She was embarrassed for herself. As she moved across the parking lot, she wondered if she was destined to become one of those women who doted on their cats and told boring cat stories to people who didnt give a flying crap.
Once inside the grocery store, she loaded up on chicken breasts, salad, and Diet Coke. She couldnt find Whisker Lickins, so she tossed in Pounce Caribbean Catch. She wheeled her cart to the front of the store and register five. A clerk by the name of Francine scanned the Pounce while Maddie dug around in her purse.
How olds your cat?
Maddie looked up and into Francines long face surrounded by eighties Flashdance hair.
Im not sure. She just showed up on my deck and wouldnt go away. I think shes inbred.
Yep. That happens around here a lot.
Francines eyes were slightly googly and Maddie wondered if she was talking about the cat or herself.
I heard theres a second suspect in your book, Francine said as she scanned the chicken breasts.
Pardon?
I heard you found a second suspect. That maybe Rose didnt shoot Loch and the waitress and then herself. That maybe someone else came in and killed all three of them.
I dont know where you heard that, but let me assure you it isnt true. There is no other suspect. Rose shot Loch and Alice Jones, then turned the gun on herself.
Oh. Francine looked a bit disappointed, but that could have been her uneven eyes. Then I guess the sheriff isnt going to reopen the investigation and call that Cold Case show.
No. There isnt a second suspect. No Cold Case show, no movie deal, and Colin Farrell isnt coming to town.
I heard it was Brad Pitt. She scanned the last item and hit total.
Good Lord. Maddie handed over the exact cash and grabbed her groceries. Brad Pitt, she scoffed as she put the bags in the backseat.
When she got home, she fed Snowball brightly colored shaped fish and cooked herself lunch. She worked on the timeline for the book, writing down events as they unfolded minute by minute, moving them around, and tacking them to the wall behind her computer screen.
At ten that evening, Mick called and asked her to meet him at Morts. Her first instinct was to say she would. It was Friday night and she wouldnt mind getting out, but something held her back. And that something had everything to do with the way her stomach got light at the sound of his voice.
Im not feeling well, she lied. She needed to put some time and distance between them. A little breathing room. A break from what she feared was becoming more than casual sex. At least for her.
In the background she could hear the muffled sound of the jukebox competing with several dozen raised voices. Are you going to be okay?
Yeah, Im just going to bed.
I could come by later and check up on you. We dont have to do anything. I could just bring you soup or some aspirin.
Shed like that. No, but thank you.
Ill call you around noon tomorrow to check up on you, he said, but he didnt. Instead he showed up at her boat dock, wearing a white Cerveza Pacifico T-shirt, a pair of navy blue swim trunks that hung low on his hips, and driving a twenty-one-foot Regal.
Howre you feeling? he asked as he stepped into her house through the French doors.
He removed his sunglasses and she gazed up into his handsome face. About what?
You were sick last night.
Oh. Shed forgotten. It was nothing. Im over it now.
Good. He gathered her up against his chest and kissed her hairline. Change into your swimsuit and come with me.
She didnt ask where they were going or how long shed be gone. As long as she was with Mick, she didnt care. She pulled on her one-piece swimsuit and tied a blue wrap with red sea horses around her hips.
Arent you getting tired of me yet? she asked him as they walked toward his yellow and white boat.
His brows lowered and he looked at her as if the thought hadnt entered his head. No. Not yet.
Mick gave her a tour of the lake and some of the truly spectacular cabins that could not be seen from the road. He handed Maddie a Diet Coke from the cooler and pulled out a bottle of water for himself.
Set in the cloudless August sky, the relentless sun warmed Maddies skin. At first it felt nice, but after an hour, trickles of sweat slid between her breasts and down the back of her neck. Maddie hated to sweat. It was one of the reasons she didnt exercise. That and she didnt believe in no pain, no gain. She was a believer in no pain is a good thing.
Mick dropped anchor in Angel Cove and shucked his white T-shirt. Before the Allegrezza boys developed this area, we used to come here to swim every summer. My mom would bring us here and later Meg or I would drive. He stood in the middle of the boat and looked out at the sandy shoreline, now dotted with big homes and docks filled with boats and Jet Skis. I remember lots of bikinis and baby oil. Sand in my shorts and my nose peeling like crazy. He kicked off his flip-flops and moved to the back. Those were some good times.
Maddie dropped the wrap from her hips and followed him. They stood side by side on the swimming platform. Sand in your shorts doesnt sound like a good time.
He laughed. No, but Vicky Baley used to come up out of the water in a string bikini that kind of slid around, and she had this amazing rack that
Maddie shoved him and as he teetered, he grabbed her wrist and they both went into the lake. He surfaced with a loud, Whaaaa, thats cold, while Maddie surfaced, trying to catch her breath. The icy water stole the air from her lungs and Maddie grabbed on to the ladder at the back of the boat.
Micks quiet laughter skimmed along the rippled surface as he swam toward her.
She pushed her wet hair from her eyes. Whats so funny?
You, getting all jealous over Vicky Baley.
Im not jealous.
Uh-huh. He grabbed the edge of the swimming platform and said, Her rack isnt as good as yours.
Gee, thanks.
Droplets of water fell from a strand of hair touching his forehead and ran down his cheek. You have no reason to be jealous of anyone. Your body is beautiful.
You dont have to say that. My breasts arent
He placed a finger on her lips. Dont do that. Dont dismiss what I feel as if Im just saying something to get into your pants. Im not. Ive already been in your pants and youre amazing. He placed his free hand behind her head and gave her a kiss that was all hot mouths and cool lips, drips of water and smooth gliding tongues.
When he kissed her like that, she felt amazing.
I missed you last night, he said as he pulled back. I wish I didnt have to work late tonight, but I do.
She licked the taste of him from her lips and swallowed. I understand.
I know you do. I think thats why I like you so much. He smiled at her. A simple little curve of his mouth that felt anything but simple. It pinched her chest and stole her breath and she knew she was in trouble. Big bad trouble, with a way of saying things that made her feel like she was drowning in his beautiful eyes. She dunked herself under and came up with her head tilted back and her hair out of her face. We both work inconvenient hours, she said and climbed up the ladder. She stood on the back of the boat and squeezed water from her hair. But it works for us because were nocturnal and can sleep late.
And because you want me. He climbed out of the water.
She looked at him out of the corners of her eyes. At his hard chest muscles and the line of wet, dark hair trailing down his abdomen and belly and disappearing beneath the waistband of his swimming trunks. True.
And Lord knows I want you too. He pulled up the anchor and put it in a side compartment. Then he moved to the captains chair and looked over at her while she tied her sarong around her hips.
What?
He shook his head and started the motor, a deep throaty churning of the prop. The boat rocked from side to side and Maddie took the companion seat. For several more seconds, Mick gazed at her before he finally looked away and pushed the throttle forward.
Maddie held her hair with one hand as they shot across the lake. Conversation was impossible, but she wouldnt have known what to say. Micks behavior was a little odd. Shed thought she knew how to read most of his expressions. She knew how he looked when he was angry, when he was teasing and charming, and she certainly knew how he looked when he wanted sex. He was oddly quiet, as if he were thinking about something, and didnt say much until they stood on her deck twenty minutes later.
If I didnt have to go to work tonight, Id stay here and play with you, he said.
You can come back later.
He sat in an Adirondack chair facing her and pulled the sarong from her hips. It fluttered to her feet. Or you could come over tonight when I get off work. He placed his hands on the backs of her thighs and brought her between his knees.
To Morts?
He shook his head and nibbled the side of her leg. Throw some stuff in a bag and come over to my house. I know you like to fall asleep and have me gone in the morning, but I think weve moved beyond pretending this is nothing more than sex. Dont you?