Tangling With Ty (11 page)

“Well, mostly for Suzanne because she cooks for me,” Nicole said, trying to tease past the sudden lump in her throat. She never quite knew what to do with emotion, with easy affection such as she was being offered.

“And I know you feel something for Ty—”

“Actually, what I feel mostly right now is irritation.”

Taylor lifted a brow. “Are you saying you don't like him?”

“Well, I—”

“It was all over your face when he got hurt, Nicole.”

“Because I'm a doctor! I hate to see
anyone
hurt, including a know-it-all Irishman.”

“You were beside yourself because it
was
the know-it-all Irishman,” Taylor pointed out. “So much
so that you even forgot your training. That was huge, you panicking like that. Huge and very unlike you.”

“You even took a day off,” Suzanne so helpfully reminded her. “Remember?”

“How could she forget?” Taylor grinned. “She discovered soap operas and cheesy old classic reruns. And she allowed herself to feel, to care. Didn't you, Nicole?”

What Nicole remembered most was the simple pleasure of that day. Sitting, for a change. And yes, watching TV. But most of all, she remembered the sight of Ty in her bed. Remembered thinking she could get used to that.

“Or was it so good you scared yourself?” Suzanne asked quietly.

“You guys have far too much time to think, you know that?” Nicole hugged herself, feeling…naked. “Yes, I care. Okay? I care about a lot of stuff.”

“How about Ty?”

“Yes, fine, Ty. Should I say it louder?
I care for Ty!
I care for him a lot.” She lowered her voice to a soft sigh. “So much that it terrifies me, and diving back into work was all I had. Happy now?”

Ty stood in the front doorway, eyes on Nicole, smile grim. “I'm a lot of things, actually.”

Nicole nearly swallowed her tongue. When the hell had he shown up? “Ty, I—”

“I don't have much experience with happy,” he
continued. “But terrified?” He pondered that. “Definitely. I'm definitely terrified, Nicole.”

Suzanne put her hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze. “It gets easier.”

“What does?”

“Why, love of course.” She smiled into his shocked face and reached for Taylor. “We'll just leave the two of you alone—”

“No!” Nicole softened her voice with effort. Her heart was pounding. Her palms damp. She wanted to start running like hell and never stop. Love? Who'd said anything about love? For God's sake, couldn't one lust for someone without the L-word coming into play? “Taylor—”

Taylor just laughed at Nicole's face. “Oh, sweetie, if you could see your expression. Well, girlfriend, you've been too busy for too long, you never learned to slow down and take it all in. Now it's happened without your permission, hasn't it? And you haven't a clue what to do with it. Poor baby.” She grabbed Nicole's face and gave her a smacking kiss. “Good news, Super Girl. You're smart, you'll figure it out.”

Okay, maybe Nicole had only recently realized what she was missing in her life. Maybe she'd only recently understood that life wasn't all work and no play, but she still hadn't reconciled it all, she still didn't know how to get more for herself, or how to…

How to face Ty, the man she'd foolishly thought maybe, possibly, hopefully could be the one.

He
wasn't
the one. He wouldn't ever want to be the one.

And he'd heard her shout how she felt about him. God. Talk about humiliation. “Taylor—”

But they were gone. Leaving her alone with Ty, who was looking at her with an expression she supposed mirrored her own terror. “Well.” She tried to smile. “My day is complete.”

He blew out a breath and looked at her. Really looked at her. “Something else is wrong,” he said.

“Besides you being here?”

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she muttered, a little cross that he could see through everything and find the lingering unease over the Dr. Watts scene. “It's just that work sucked and now—”

“Did that asshole try something again?”

She stared at him, a little shocked by his deep tone of instant rage. For her. “Everything is going to be fine in that department.”

“Sure?”

His voice was every bit as low and gravely and sexy as she remembered, and she remembered plenty. “Very.”

He drew another deep breath as if struggling for patience.

She knew the feeling. “So why are you here anyway?” she asked, more than a little defensively, crossing her arms.

“I have a job here.”

“Oh, yeah.” Now she felt just stupid. Of course he had a job here. What did she think, that he'd come to see her? How ridiculous that would be, how—

“I'll just get to it,” he said, and turned to the door.

Only he slammed it shut while still on the inside, closing them inside the apartment together.

Alone.

T
Y LOOKED
at Nicole, who stood there seeming a little confused.

Good, that made two of them.

“What are you doing?” she asked warily when he came close. “I thought you were going to go do what you had to.”

“I am.” He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and hauled her up to her toes so he could get a good look into the face he couldn't seem to stop thinking about.

She gasped. “But…I thought you meant work. You had to get to work.”

“Who said anything about work?”

“You— I—”

“There you go stuttering again.” He set her down but didn't take his hands off her. “I'm beginning to think you only do that around me, and you know what? I like it. But let's stick to the subject. I want to set the record straight between us.”

“Oh.” Her face cleared of all expression. She was good at that, he'd noticed, but then again, so was he.

“I see,” she said stiffly.

“I doubt it.”

“No, I do. You regret what happened between us.”

“Is that what you think?” He tipped up her face and saw that was exactly what she thought. “Is that why you left my bed?”

“Don't tell me you wanted to wake up with me.” She pulled her chin free of his fingers. “I saw the look in your eyes before you fell asleep. Panic, pure and simple.”

“What you saw was fleeting.”

“Because you fell asleep.” She closed her eyes.

“And I didn't blame you for it, so don't worry. I'm not the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with.”

He swore, then shoved his fingers through his hair and turned in a slow circle, trying to find the words. “Nicole, you're
exactly
the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with. You're smart, and sexy as hell. You're
amazing.
But I was lying there, holding you, still shaking like a leaf, damn it, from the most incredible…” He let out a disparaging sound, having no idea how to say it. “Look, what we shared was different. First of all, I've never come so hard in my life.”

She blushed, her expression one of surprise.

“But it wasn't just sex,” he said. “I know that sounds like a line, but it wasn't. What we shared was
a connection, a real one, and yes, damn it, it scared the living daylights out of me.”

She was very still. “Go on.”

Go on.
Hell. He licked his suddenly dry lips. “I felt closer to you than I have to anyone. Ever.”

The fist around her heart, the one that had been there since she'd first set eyes on him, loosened slightly. “Really?”

“I felt like you knew me.”

A warmth spread through her. “I did. I do. Ty, I do.”

“No.” Now he closed his eyes. “You don't understand.” He turned away, his shoulders stiff. “I came from nothing, Nicole. I was nothing.”

“No, never that.” Her heart ached that he pictured himself that way.

“You have no idea some of the things I did to survive.”

“No one would ever blame the child you were,” she said fiercely. “No one. And you shouldn't either.”

“I know.” Misery radiated off him, so that she was propelled forward, propelled to put her hand on his back. His muscles leapt at her touch.

“But I'm still that boy deep inside,” he admitted. “I'm still that wanderer. I still feel that need to keep moving. I…I started to feel that need again.”

Now her heart all but stopped as he turned back to look at her.

“You…you're moving on?” she asked.

“I've thought about it. Then I heard from my sister and I
really
thought about it.” There was nothing but truth in his eyes, the man who'd taught her the one thing no one else had ever managed, how to live outside the box. He was strong and smart and made her smile. He was passionate about work, about life, about everything in between. And unlike anyone before him, he made her feel the same way back.

“It'd be so easy,” he said. “Easy to pick up and go start over.” He lifted a shoulder. “New York sounded good.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat because it was so thick. He'd thought about leaving, walking away. “Ty…”
Don't. Don't go.

Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her jaw. Slid them down her throat and cupped the back of her head, tugging her a step closer. Mouth close to hers, his turned down in a grim, unbearably sad smile, he said, “But then I met you.”

He still looked so utterly intent on going that there was no logical reason why hope suddenly burned through her bright as the sun. “And…?”

“And…for the first time I wanted someone to know about me, know my past. Accept it. We know we're different, Nicole. That I—”

She stopped him with her mouth on his. She knew his past shamed him. Just as she knew the man he re
ally was, a man with a heart and soul dying for acceptance and love, just like anyone else. He could hold people off with his easy charm and laid-back attitude, but he couldn't hold her off, not for another second.

He tried. Despite her mouth clinging to his, despite her arms wound around his neck, he hadn't touched her, not yet, so she pulled back and held his face in her hands. “Please want me, too, Ty, if only half as much as I want you.”

“Half?” He let out a half growl, half laugh. “
Half.
Hell…”

“It's okay, I—”

“I want you more than my next breath, damn it.” His arms came around her hard, lifting her up against him. “But you're supposed to know what's good for you. Nicole, you're supposed to send me away. You're supposed to stay away from me.”

“I won't. I can't.”

“Well, then God help the both of us.” His mouth came down on hers again, but he shocked her with unexpected tenderness, with an irresistible gentleness, coaxing and nibbling her into a hunger only he could sate.

As if she needed coaxing. After a long, wet, hot kiss, he lifted his head and stared at her. The hunger must have been all over her face because he groaned, and then his mouth slashed across hers again, and
this time when they tore apart for air, they stared wild and wide-eyed at each other.

“Not here,” she said breathlessly, staggering when he pulled back. “My bed.”

“Nicole—”

“My bed,” she repeated, and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward her bedroom before he could come to his senses and say goodbye. She didn't want goodbyes, and she was banking on the hope he didn't really want them either.

It was late and the room was dark. She flipped on the light switch, then hesitated. Maybe she should leave them in the dark, give them some place to hide.

No.
No,
she thought, turning back to him as she pulled her shirt over her head and watched his gaze flare with unchecked desire. She wanted to see him want her. Wanted to capture that and save it. Store it in a part of her heart to pull out when she needed.

After he was gone.

“Nicole—”

She wanted to cry at the rough, low voice, tinged with regret. He wasn't going to change his mind, not now, he couldn't. She unbuttoned her jeans and he swallowed hard.

“Wait, I—” His words broke off into a rough groan when she shoved the jeans down her hips and kicked them free, leaving her in a siren-red lace bra and a sunshine-yellow silk thong. Laundry day, damn it.
She never matched for him. But she couldn't worry about that now. To make sure he saw her, all of her, she turned in a slow circle, running her hands down her own body.

When she turned back to him, he was suddenly right there, so close she bumped into his chest. “Not fair,” he whispered.

“What's not fair is that you haven't started.” She tugged on his shirt. He raised his arms so that she could pull it off and toss it over her shoulder. The bruises on his ribs made her physically ache for him. “Are you okay?”

“Right now I am. I love your color choices today.”

She grimaced. “One of these days I'll get it together and pay attention in the morning.”

“No, I like it. Tough, cool tomboy on the outside, thoroughly unorganized siren on the inside.” His palms slid up her sides to cup her breasts, while she combed her fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth back to hers for the hot, wet, deep kiss she'd been longing for.

“Nicole.” His voice was hoarse, and he repeated her name as if he couldn't hear it enough. He kissed her jaw, beneath her ear, her throat, touching her everywhere his hands could reach. Then her bra fell to the floor, followed by her mismatched panties. “I don't want to hurt you,” he said.

“Then don't.” She opened his jeans and slid her
hands inside, squeezing his very squeezable butt. Not enough, but she knew he couldn't easily bend so she dropped to her knees to work his jeans down. She tugged off his knit boxers, too, her mouth watering as his impressive erection sprang free.

“Nicole—”

She took him in her mouth and he staggered back a step, then swore reverently as his hands entangled in her hair. His head fell back. She ran her tongue up his length, and he shuddered, but then pulled away and hauled her up to her feet.

“Ty, I want to—”

“Bed. Now.”

“But—”

“I'd play the hero and toss you on it,” he said in a thrilling rough voice. “But—”

“Your ribs.”

“My ribs,” he agreed, following her down to the mattress. Lying at her side, he touched her feet, ran his hands up her calves, over her knees…then met her gaze as he wrapped his palm around her thigh.

“Careful of your ribs—” Her words ended abruptly when he splayed open her legs.

Staring down at her with such intense heat she felt herself go up in flames, he let out a slow breath. “I won't hurt myself, I won't have to. You're already killing me.”

Very carefully, he shifted his weight. His intent be
came clear when she felt his warm breath high on her inner thigh. “Careful—”

“Shh.” He kissed her quivering, slick flesh, and suddenly her skin felt tight, her chest too small to hold her heart. Then he kissed her again, and writhing on the sheets, she cried out.

“I want you.” His gaze locked on her as he slid a finger into her body. Her moan of pleasure meshed with his. “I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone.”

“I want you, too.” She barely managed to put the words together, but sensed how much he needed to hear them to ground him here, to this place. To her. “I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, Ty. Love me.”

“Like this?” Sliding his hands beneath her, he put his mouth on her, and with one slow, sure, knowing stroke of his tongue he nearly drove her right out of her living mind. Then he sucked her into his mouth, and he
did
drive her right out of her living mind. While she was still trembling with the aftershocks, he came up to his knees, wrapped his hand around his erection and buried himself deep within her.

Then he went still as he uttered one concise and perfectly descriptive oath.

She was just about crazy with the need for him to move within her.
“What?”

“Condom,” he growled, and pulled out of her, his
sex glistening with her own wetness. She watched him grit his teeth as he got off the bed, searched out his wallet, opened a foil packet, and stroked a condom down the length of himself.

“Hurry,” she said.

“This isn't the emergency room, Dr. Hot Pants. There's no hurry.” And he proceeded to prove it to her by slowly, far too slowly, entering her again, watching her with hot, hot eyes as he did.

Oh, he destroyed her, completely destroyed her. Arching her hips, she tried to pull him in, faster, harder.

“Slow,” he whispered, running hot, openmouthed kisses along her jaw, her throat, pulling a patch of her skin into his mouth to suck.

But she needed all of him and she needed it now. She needed that to ease her tight chest, to soothe her fear that she'd wake up and he'd be gone. “Ty—”

But he couldn't be rushed, so she slapped her hands to his tight butt and tugged. Still no go. He was a solid mass of muscle, with a mind of his own.

He held her like that, on the very edge. She would have been furious at the way he mastered her body if he hadn't been right there with her, head back, jaw clenched in a grimace of passion, just as on the edge as she. Then, when she was nearly sobbing in frustration, he thrust deep, stretching her, filling her. The penetration was so powerful and complete they both
cried out, and then again when he withdrew only to plunge back in. His grip on her hips tightened as he stroked harder, deeper, his powerful body crushing her to the mattress.

Legs tightening around his waist, she moved with him, slowly at first, as he'd wanted, but the pressure built until her heart beat in her ears in tune to the thrust of his pumping hips.

Intense pleasure gripped her, shoved her over the edge as lights exploded behind her eyes and shudders rippled her body, robbing her of breath. Vaguely she felt him bury his face in her neck and groan out her name as he followed her over, but all she could do was cling to him, lost, as hot wave after hot wave continued to take her.

Ty collapsed to the side, hauling her with him. They lay still like that except for the sound of their racing hearts and uneven breathing.

Nicole concentrated on the physical, which was incredible, and refused to think of anything else. Then Ty kissed her shoulder and pulled back so he could look into her eyes. “Okay?”

“Definitely.” She might have said fantastic. Euphoric. Better than she'd ever been. But he got out of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. She stared at the ceiling.

When he came back out, he stood by the bed, still
naked, looking down at her with those depthless eyes. “Should I go?”

Go? The thought made her heart clench. No. No, he shouldn't go. To show him, she lifted the covers, held them open.