"Yeah, you know. Like when somebody takes a thing apart and puts it back together but has parts left over. Parts that were probably important but they didn't know where they went or what they even did to make that thing work?"
She glanced up at me and I saw something in her face that made my heart hurt.
"Are you feeling like a spare part, Crys?" I asked softly.
She nodded.
I was quiet as I thought.
I didn't know all that much about her since she played her cards pretty close to her chest. But from the things she said before and now with this 'spare parts' question I could tell she'd been hurt. Had her heart kicked in at some point.
"I don't think you’re a spare part, honey. And I don't think Cait, Leila or Frank do either. You're a bright, sassy, amazing part of my life. Someone who can see the shit I do and call me on it, which tells me that you are my friend, my close friend."
I thought for a moment trying to find the right words.
"Have you ever heard of Eleanor Roosevelt?" I asked.
"Sure."
"She was married to one of the presidents and she said, 'No one can make you feel bad without your permission.' Which I think you get, especially from the text you sent to Leila regarding her first day back at school."
Her eyes when they met mine were beginning to look wet.
"Okay. You can shut the fuck up now, Marianne."
"Okay?"
"Yeah. The true confessions portion of this evening is over."
We shared a smile and ordered dessert.
"How's Leila doing?" I asked.
"She's getting there, I guess. I know she played it off, but I think Dex hurt her a lot more than she said. Even on a good day he's a dick, but he's been even worse since he got rid of Leila."
"Would you have ever put the two of them together?" I asked smiling. They made a beautiful couple from just a looks standpoint but he did tattoos for a living and she was a college professor with a doctoral degree.
"Oh, fuck no! But, man, when I saw them together at the shop? Fireworks!" Crys laughed.
The bill came and Crys threw the coupon and a couple of bills on the table. Copying her I threw in a couple of bills myself. That was another reason why I liked going out with Crystal. There wasn't the fifteen minutes of figuring out who ordered what and then breaking out the calculator.
And, whatever was left over was the wait person's tip, which is always a good thing.
*.*.*.*.*
I kept slapping it and slapping it but the damn alarm clock wouldn't shut up. Grumbling I turned on the light and realized that it wasn't my alarm, but my phone that was making all the noise.
"Hello," I answered, my voice sounding as groggy as I felt.
It was the hospital calling about my aunt. They had been unable to get in touch with Greg Gibson and were notifying her next emergency contact and could I come down?
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.
The lady on the phone had not given any additional information but simply kept asking me to come down.
I drove like a madwoman to Grantham General, thankful that I wasn't stopped for speeding.
They said that Aunt Estella had been brought in unconscious and they're were doing tests to determine how extensive her injuries were. They had tried to contact Greg but, as usual, the rat bastard wasn't answering.
They had me fill out paperwork, pages and pages of paperwork, but my knowledge on my aunt's wants, medications and prior medical history was really limited compared to the questions asked.
This bothered me. Bothered me, a lot.
I saw officers Matthews and Reid and waved to them.
"What happened?" I asked.
"One of the neighbors called in around eleven complaining about screaming coming from Mrs. Gibson's house. We were tied up and made our way over maybe twenty to thirty minutes later. The lock had been popped and we found her unconscious in the kitchen. Looks like the house was trashed just like yours. Tim and the Chief are there now," Officer Matthew's explained.
"How's her condition?" Reid asked.
"I don't know," I admitted. "Think you have to fill out the paperwork to prove you're worthy enough to get that information."
They smiled before moving back towards the doors.
I tried calling Greg, but his phone just went to voicemail. The rat bastard.
I glanced at the clock as I tried to make myself comfortable in the plastic seat. They'd said they'd let me know when she was taken to her room.
I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Ram's hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, honey," I said sitting up and trying to move. I was stiff from sitting in one place too long.
"How's she doing," he asked softly, brushing my hair away from my face.
"Dunno. They said that they would tell me when she was done with the tests and they put her in a room."
"What time was that?" he asked.
"Uhm. Around one, I think." I yawned and glanced at the clock which was reading after four. "Let me go ask them again."
I was at the front desk, when I felt Ram's arm come around me, pulling me away. There was a terrible noise but I couldn't figure out what it was or where it was coming from until he shoved my face into his shirt.
It was me.
I was the one making that horrible noise.
Because I had just lost my beloved aunt due to massive head trauma.
Chapter Thirty
She was still sleeping the last time he checked and he found himself jealous she could. He had maybe slept two hours out of every twenty-four since the fight with his family. She had been sleeping for over sixteen hours now. And that was only after her tears had let up a bit. He felt so bad for her, but all he could do was hold her.
He had put her to bed as soon as they were in his house and she basically cried herself to sleep. He had slept a bit as well, but got a call out around two hours after they'd laid down.
As far as he could tell, she hadn't moved from the position he'd left her in.
Ram rubbed his forehead to try and alleviate the headache that had been pounding at different speeds and depths since that horrible night, that goddamn Saturday.
He couldn't get it out of his mind and couldn't believe that he had talked to his father like that.
That wasn't him.
That wasn't how he was raised but he felt like he had no choice. Respect was a two-way street and it was obvious that, at least in his father and uncle's eyes, Ram was not old enough to make his own decisions or lead his own life.
Ram shoved all of it aside and tried to concentrate on the here and now although his brain was mush.
He made his way to the kitchen to make another mug of tea.
He had to be awake and alert in case he was needed but he was just so goddamn weary.
"Honey?" he heard her call down the hall.
"In here,
Pyari
," he said adding more milk and another tea bag to the saucepan. He knew how much she loved the tea and found it soothing.
"Hey, honey," she said making her way to him wearing the shirt he had worn yesterday, looking adorable with her hair askew and barefoot as she came straight to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her eyes were still swollen and the end of her nose pink but she seemed better than she had been.
He engulfed her and rested his head on top of hers.
"You okay, honey?" she said, pulling back to look at him.
"I will be,
Pyari
."
Ram saw her smile, recognizing one of her own expressions coming out of his mouth.
"How about you?"
"I will be, honey," she murmured softly.
She pulled away just as the tea was coming to a boil and Ram saw her heft herself up to the countertop and make herself comfortable.
"What's going on, Ram?"
"You mean regarding Estella?"
"No, honey. What's going on with you?"
He didn't say anything as he concentrated on pouring the tea into the mugs. Their eyes met when he handed her the mug and his were the first to disengage.
"I've got a lot on my mind, MG," he finally said.
"Uh-huh."
"Uhm, things that don't concern you…"
"No, Ram."
"Pardon?" He leaned back against the countertop, mostly in shock. Marianne never told him no.
Ever.
"I said, no."
He caught her eyes and saw that she was serious, deadly serious.
She took a deep breath and a sip of her tea before continuing.
"We are not going to have that kind of play between us. That's not who we are and that's not the kind of relationship I want to have -- and I don't think you do either."
Her words swirled around the room before she went on.
"From practically the moment we met, we've had a connection. I don't feel that connection now. Do you, honey?"
"No," he couldn't deny it. But he was afraid that it was because of what his family had done that made her less open to him.
Made him less open to anything.
"I love you, Ram. And I think you know that. I think you've known that for quite a while."
"Yes. And I think you've known I love you, too, for a long time."
"Well, yeah," she replied with a smile. "The first time you whispered that 'may tumpsay pea - yar thingie, I got Leila on the case. And, you could've knocked me over with a feather, you big Asian - Sub - Continent galoot!"
He threw back his head and laughed.
When he had calmed down, he made his way to her. Placing himself between her legs and running his hands up her thighs, he lowered his lips to hers.
"You talk in your sleep,
Pyari
," he whispered against her lips.
"No, I don't, honey. I talk when
you're
asleep. Big difference." He felt her lips curl as she smiled.
And they leaned into each other in the position they both loved to be in, the two of them, their lips lightly pressing, the quiet settling in around them.
Ram broke first, wrapping his arms around her and dragging her off the counter as his lips opened and pressed firmly to hers, his tongue invading. Moaning as he felt her tongue twirl against his with her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs around his waist.
He couldn't move fast enough to his bedroom, couldn't get undressed fast enough, couldn't fucking wait for her to be naked.
He needed her, fucking
needed
to be with her.
Inside her.
But as he finally felt her skin against his, her breasts pressed against his chest, his hips cradled between her thighs, he slowed down.
His heart didn't want fast, his cock wasn't overruling and demanding immediate release.
He just needed her.
To sink himself inside of her.
Their lips met and fused again and again, before leaving to kiss every available inch of skin that had not been touched or tasted in, what felt like, forever.
Hands caressed, touching, dragging, holding.
They explored and rediscovered, their soft murmurs and moans the only noise in the room, in the house.
But, their body's need for connection overcame the relearning.
"I need…," he heard her moan as her legs lifted to grasp him high on his waist.
Ram lifted his hips and rested the hard length of himself against her opening, holding very still, enjoying the heated wetness and the sense of anticipation they'd created.
"Please, Ram," she begged, her voice breaking.
And he slid into her in one long move, deeply. So deeply his balls were pressed up against her.
"I love you,
Pyari
," he moaned against her neck as his hips took up the rhythm, a rhythm from time primordial. And the feelings that ran from his hard cock to his brain, his heart, were of connection and caring, longing and love, of celebrating being one while still being two.
He raised himself up on one arm so he could watch as their bodies joined, watch her body react to him.
"Ohmigod, Ram," she gritted out her body bowing with her release and he had the urge to speed up his hips, driving into her, working to find his finish. And when it hit, he felt as if it were an earthquake happening inside him, knocking loose all the rocks and debris that separated the two of them.
"Holy hell, Ram. Was it my imagination or was that the best?" she whispered with a note of awe in her voice.
He smiled and rolled onto his back, pulling her against his side. His heart was still slamming around in his chest but he was feeling a peace settle in alongside it as it slowed.