From just a kiss.
No. Not just a kiss.
But
his
kiss
.
And he never,
ever
let me move anything except my mouth, my tongue.
I was pressed hard to his chest, my nipples grinding against him providing such a delicious friction.
I've mentioned that I wanted this man,
right
?
Okay.
Now the ante was raised.
I now
needed
this man.
Needed in a bone marrow kind of way.
And just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he stopped. Completely stopped.
And raised his mouth from mine.
Oh, hello?
Hot woman, turned on to the max, sitting right in your lap.
And you're stopping?
You're, like,
kidding
, right?
Which he totally probably saw because like I'm
so
not a poker player.
And this is where I totally lost it.
Ram, as his head raised up from mine, eyes opened and staring straight into my eyes, took his thumb and dragged it through the wetness on my bottom lip.
Holy
shit
.
While looking into my eyes the
whole
freaking time.
I don't know 'bout you if you'd be in this situation, but I ended up looking up at this amazing guy, who smelled unbelievably wonderful, who kissed me like it was a religious experience and then had dragged his thumb across my bottom lip and I was wondering which deity I'd made happy.
I couldn't breathe deep enough.
I could only stare, my blue to his brown.
"Wow," he said on a whisper.
"Uhm, yeah," I whispered back. "Wow."
There were a couple of beats before he placed me back into the passenger seat that I was supposed to have been sitting in the whole time.
And I was blinking slowly, remembering how his mouth felt against mine, when I probably should've been thinking about public safety and put my seat belt on. But, luckily he did it. And it was the click that brought me back to the here and now.
I don't remember the two block ride to the house, mainly because I don't think my brain was receiving any blood at all--it was pounding through my body, though.
Ram once again, carried me back into the house where he wished me and Aunt Estella a good evening before leaving.
All I could do was stand there in my pretty new nightgown and my borrowed, oversized robe and blink.
Chapter Six
It wasn't a bad week, as weeks can be when you're knee deep in tax returns.
Just a busy one. Busy, as in you're doing chair wiggles until there's a pause in the clients, then you can go to the bathroom.
It didn't help that I had what I call 'Ram-Brain'. I had to keep a firm grip on my thoughts, on what I was supposed to be doing, otherwise my mind would go straight back to that kiss.
That amazing kiss.
The kiss that was seared into my brain.
And when my mind would wander back to it, my eyes would glaze over and I got a stupid little grin.
How do I know how I looked when I was in the midst of Ram-Brain?
Teresa, my co-worker, made kind of a big deal about it as we were leaving one evening.
"Earth to Marianne, come in Marianne," she called over the cubicle wall.
"I'm here," I mumbled, sorting the papers on my desk so I knew what I wanted to do first thing tomorrow. "What can I do you for?"
"You just seem distracted. What do you have going on that is causing that silly little grin while you mentally check out?" I glanced up and saw Teresa smiling as she leaned against the cubicle wall. She was great to work with, breaking up the day with her teasing and laughter.
"Just a lot on my mind. But enough about me, how'd your day go?"
"Uh-uh, can't change the subject, Gibson. Spill!"
"No really. I have a lot on my mind with my apartment and Floyd still hasn't come home. Staying with Aunt Estella is a bit different and…"
Teresa held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, I got it. I just thought you had a man on your mind. Like that tall drink of water you were with the other night at Luigi's."
"Paul? Uh, no. We're friends."
"Uh-huh. I hold hands with my friends when we go to dinner, too. "
I just looked at her with my eyebrows raised.
"Just kidding!"
I laughed along with her but my laugh sounded a bit hollow.
I gathered the rest of my things as I called good night to the other accountants I worked with.
This time of year, our hours were killer since we had to meet with clients and do all the paperwork and computer entries either before the clients got there or after seven p.m. when we locked the door. Or, as I mentioned, the weekends.
I made my way back to Aunt Estella's since I still wasn't allowed in my apartment. Floyd still hadn't turned up. I had used my lunch break to call the insurance company that held my renter's policy and they said they would send an adjuster out, which was good. But they couldn't send him out until the police said it was okay to enter.
Geesh.
I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Only 8 p.m. Which meant I couldn't find an easy excuse not to go out with Paul tonight. It was supposed to be just for dinner, so I could go casual but I didn't have any casual clothes. I had three outfits I had purchased, and the dress I'd worn to Cait and Jake's party but they were a bit dressy, too business-like.
Sigh.
I made it to Aunt Estella's and was able to take a quick shower and redo my hair and makeup before making my way downstairs
to see Paul flirting with my aunt.
Incorrigible.
He even chatted up the Seniors.
"Wow, baby, you look wonderful," Paul said when I made my way into the front room.
"Mari, that dress is wonderful with your coloring," Aunt Estella offered with both hands on her cheeks. I knew from experience that was her way of controlling her blushes.
"I don't know, Paul. Maybe you should be taking Estella out instead," I teased.
"Mari!"
"Just saying."
"I'd love to, but I think Estella's heart is elsewhere. I'd probably just crash and burn," Paul said with a smile and a wink to Estella. But his words hit me just a little too close to home with the 'heart is elsewhere' business.
"Ready, baby?"
"As I'll ever be. See you later, Auntie."
"Have fun you two."
Paul gave Auntie one of his killer smiles and I watched as the red crept back into her cheeks.
"You really do look great," Paul whispered as he opened the passenger door.
"Thanks, Paul. So do you."
And he did. He was wearing jeans with a t-shirt with a v-neck sweater paired with a blazer. Which, combined with his sandy good looks, made him look like a male model.
I felt a bit over-dressed in my rust colored, fitted sheathe that I'd paired with my brown ankle boots and gold jewelry. But, as Momma always said, better to be over-dressed than under.
"How's your week going?" Paul asked. And we chatted back and forth as we made our way to Luigi's, where we were seated right away. He was taken aback to hear about Floyd, whom Paul had met when he had picked me up at my apartment.
"I was surprised at you staying at Ram's, baby."
Oh geez.
First salvo launched.
"I was, too. But it made sense at the time because waking up my aunt wouldn't have been a good idea."
"You could have called me, Marianne." Wow, Paul actually used my name. He must still be upset about it.
"You're right. I could've. But it was late and I was shaken by the whole thing."
He didn't respond to that but was quiet, so I went on.
"Plus, Paul, you only have a one bedroom. So either one or the other of us would have been on the couch."
"It wouldn't have had to go that way. I have a big bed. Room enough for two."
Okay.
See?
There it is, right out there on the table.
Even if he did say it with a smile and Paul has a killer smile.
"Sure you do, Paul. But we both know that's not what I needed that night," I said smiling back as I sipped my red wine, trying to use the wine glass to block my expression.
"I don't know, baby. I've heard it's a great way to get rid of stress."
"I wish you wouldn't call me that."
"Call you what?"
"Uhm, baby. I don't like being called that."
"You don't like being called baby?"
"No, Paul, I really don't."
"Why didn't you say something before?"
"I did. The first time we went out."
"You did? "
"Yeah, I did."
I watched as Paul processed this as our dinners were served. He seemed a little bit more involved in our conversation, particularly my end of it, than he had the other couple of times we went out.
"So, baby's out. Any other names you'd prefer?" He really was gorgeous when he smiled like that and I could imagine that a fair number of Grantham women would give a body part to have that smile directed at them.
While I could enjoy it, it still didn't get my motor running.
"Get creative. You're the Detective." I giggled, I couldn't help it.
"I really like your laugh, Marianne," he said softly.
"And I really like your…uhm…ravioli!" I speared one of the mushroom ravioli squares from his plate.
His laughter was contagious and I saw that even the wait staff were grinning as they heard it. I was glad that I was able to divert a moment that might have morphed into an area I wasn't really willing to explore with him.
Our plates were being cleared and I excused myself to go to the Ladies Room before we left. I had only been gone a few minutes when, on my way back out, I saw Paul talking with our waitress with his phone out. As I got closer to the table, I heard him say, "I'll give you a call, baby. Maybe we can do something later."
The waitress glanced up and realized I was standing behind the booth. She looked embarrassed although she had no reason to be. I was embarrassed and I didn't have any reason to be, either. So I smiled at her and got a tiny smile back.
Paul finally raised his eyes from his cellphone and saw the direction that his soon to be conquest was looking and turned towards me.
"Oh, hey. You about ready to go, ba...erm…Marianne?"
"You betcha." I said with a slight smile. I wasn't annoyed because Paul was, well,
Paul
but I also was not in the mood to discuss it. What kind of guy does that? Especially after the 'you could've called me' late night visit. Confusing behavior.
But my internal scoring system gave him points for curtailing the 'baby'.
Conversation was stilted on the way back to my aunt's house. I was tired. It had been a long day and while I enjoyed Paul's company, it just wasn't the same as with Ram. There just wasn't that electric connection between us like I got when I was with Ram.
But Ram had never asked me out. I know I'm repeating myself, which should show you that I really wanted him to ask me out!
Paul turned off the engine of his truck and turned to me.
"I'm going to take off, Marianne. I have a lot to do before I can turn in," he said.
Excuse me? It sounded like he thought I was going to invite him in.
"Thanks so much for dinner, Paul."
"Glad you liked it."
And I saw him lean towards me. Uh-oh. I think he wanted to kiss me. We had done that a couple of times and he was a good kisser. Firm, with a hint of wetness.
But he wasn't Ram.
Ram who, even when I remembered it, made my toes curl with his kiss.
I accepted Paul's kiss and I was right. He kissed good. It was…pleasant. But no full body shivers, no 'I can't think straight because all the blood has rushed out of my head and into my body'.
No spark.
I broke away from Paul's kiss and grabbed my purse.
"Marianne? Are you busy next week?" Paul said as I leaned back over to my side of his truck.
"I'm not sure yet. With all the stuff I've got going on…" I opened the door and stepped out. "Thanks again for tonight, Paul. Dinner was great."
He gave me a chin lift and called, "I'll call you and see if we can set something up."
To his credit, he did stay and watch until I made it into the house. I turned and did a little wave after I opened the door. I couldn't see his response, if any, caught as I was in the beams of his headlights.