“I . . . I don’t know what to say.” She hadn’t rejected it out of hand though, Gideon could tell that much.
Cal raised a brow in her direction and then over her shoulder at Gideon, who stood just beyond.
“As it happens, I like cock too.”
Cal threw his hands up in the air and Jules grabbed her bag. “Nice one,” Cal hissed as he followed her out the door.
Confused, Gideon got up and went after both of them. He didn’t have to go far; she’d walked down from the main house so she hadn’t made much progress.
“Wait, why are you leaving?”
She spun. “I can’t do this. I . . . I can’t always wonder if he’s in it for me, or for you. Or if you are. I just . . .” She tried to keep walking but Gideon moved in front of her, taking her arms.
Cal moved him over. “Baby, it’s you. Always and only you. He’s trying to make you happy. In all the years I’ve known him
nothing
sexual or romantic has ever happened. Nor have I wanted it to.”
Fuck
. Now Gideon got it. “He’s right. Stop thinking, even for a moment, that if it was a choice I’d do anything but choose you. What I’m proposing is that we share you. I look at Erin, Todd and Ben and I think I’d prefer that to anything else. I want to be with you and if that means sharing you with Cal, I’m willing to try it. And yes, in the interests of full disclosure, I enjoy men.”
“I have to think.” She stepped back.
He was fucking things up, damn it. “Don’t go. Forget I said anything.”
She tiptoed up to kiss him. “It’s more than that. It’s this whole night. It’s the way I felt when you kissed me in front of him. It’s the way I felt when you made the offer and said you liked men. It’s all a jumble and I need some space to think. Please, just back off, both of you, and give me some space.”
Gideon reached for her but she stepped back. “Let me drive you home.”
She heaved a sigh. “So glad you both listen so well.” She pushed past Cal and kept walking as they both watched her walk away.
“Jules, it’s your choice. I’m here either way,” Gideon called out.
She kept walking.
“Nice going, dickhead.” Cal stomped past him as he continued to watch her walk away.
10
C
al couldn’t believe the way his life had turned in the course of just a few weeks. He riffled through Gideon’s kitchen until he found a bottle of good scotch. If he smoked, he’d probably have lit one up too.
When he’d gotten up that morning it had been after a night of going back and forth about what to do. He’d gone to Tart full of resolve to win her but he hadn’t expected anything that had happened after the kiss.
Gideon came back inside fifteen minutes later. “I watched her until she got to her car.”
“What the fuck did you do?” Cal turned slowly, holding the tumbler of scotch so his hands wouldn’t shake.
“Me? What the fuck did
you
do? You kissed my girlfriend, asshole.”
Well, put that way . . . “Yes, but she’s not yours. She was mine long before you blew back into town and stole her.”
Gideon’s brows flew up. “I stole her? Really now? From who? You? A guy who could have had her for years but couldn’t be bothered to make a move until someone else treasured what you took for granted? I didn’t need to steal her. You neglected her. I saw what a wonderful woman she is. Don’t cry about it now.”
“You pushed her button, dumbass.”
“What? You should be grateful I’m not punching your teeth down your throat. She and I have been dating for nearly a month. What the hell possessed you to pull this shit now?”
Cal sighed. “Okay, so yes, I probably should be grateful you didn’t punch me. But that whole bit about liking cock pushed her away.”
“I had no idea it was an issue. It’s an issue
you
gave her, Cal. So you laid a kiss on my woman, came into my house and when I saw what was up I tossed out a solution. Again I’m asking you, why now?”
“I’ve loved Jules a long time. So long I guess I just took it for granted that when I was finally ready to stop lying to myself she’d be there. But I was too slow. I tried to let it go. I know you make her happy. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t just let her go without trying. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to propose a three-way.”
Gideon pushed past Cal and poured himself some scotch. “Yeah, well, look. I’m not an idiot. I know she’d have chosen me over you. She did that by coming over here and that makes it easier for me. I can’t lie to myself or to her. I see how you look at her. I see how she looks at you. You two have something deep and I know you well enough to understand you’re not going to just walk away. I don’t want to put her in a position of always having to make choices.”
Cal scrubbed his hand over his face. He’d made a choice, one he didn’t regret in the big picture, but he’d done it without really thinking about Gideon and how much he loved Jules too. Oh, he got it on one level. How could you not love Jules?
He sighed. “I’m sorry for springing it on you. I can’t regret kissing her and making it clear I’m going to fight for her. But this outcome has hurt her and you. I do regret that part.”
“I need to go after her.”
Cal leaned back against the counter, watching Gideon pace. Goddamn, the man was beautiful.
“Let her be for a while. She has to process.”
“I don’t want her thinking I proposed the idea of a threesome as a way to get at your cock. Why don’t you tell me why she’d think that, Cal?”
“I didn’t realize the extent of it until earlier today. I own it. I think part of her believes I’d only truly be happy with a man. I tried to explain to her it wasn’t like that. And it isn’t. Cock, cunt, whatever. It’s about the person I’m with. For me, it’s been Juliet and because I waited so long she has doubts. And then you went and phrased it that way and it pushed her buttons.”
Cal levered away from the counter and began to pace. “I didn’t mean for any of this to spin so totally out of control. I don’t want to hurt her. Or you for that matter.” He paused, turning to face Gideon. “Did you mean it? About the threesome, I mean.”
Gideon looked Cal up and down, torn between wanting to punch him and wanting to comfort him. The need to run after Jules drove him, but he also knew Cal was right about giving her some space.
“Yes. She wants you. You want her. I’m not letting go of her, but I don’t relish her being in between us when you won’t stop fighting for her. It’s not what I’d imagined with her. But . . . it’s not something I hate either. In fact, well, she’s not the only one sexually attracted to you. You and I have been friends as long as she and I have been. It could work. I’m not an expert, but I know it’ll take a lot of work to get it right. We’d have to go step by step. I just think it’s a way forward. I look at Ben, Todd and Erin and I know they have something special. What about you?”
Cal sucked in a breath. “I don’t want her to doubt me. Do you understand that? I made a mess of this whole thing, I know. But it would break my heart to think she didn’t believe my commitment to her. You’re hot as fuck, I’m not denying that.”
Gideon’s heart sped a moment.
“If we do this, we need to let her make the choices and take the steps.”
Gideon nodded. “I agree. I’ll hold off on the punching for the time being. For now, let’s focus on how to get her back.”
• • •
“What’s going on?” Gillian walked in to Tart four days later with a look on her face that made Jules suck in a breath and steel herself.
“Um. A clue perhaps? What do you mean?”
Gillian put a hand on her hip and glared. “You won’t return my calls. Your texts are boring and lack even a basic amount of snark. Cal is moping around. Mary says you’re not here when she arrives in the afternoon and Gideon called my house looking for you. What in God’s name is going on?”
Jules sat in a nearby chair and told Gillian everything.
“Well, I can see why you needed the space to think. But why you wouldn’t come to me to let me help, I can’t imagine.”
“You have enough going on in your life. This is just . . . it’s . . . I don’t even know.”
“Don’t be daft.
Enough going on.
Sure, a wedding and a bossy fiancé and a teenaged son who is at turns sweet as pudding and then surly. But you’re my best friend, it’s my job to listen to you. Also, really to deny me the story of how two ridiculously gorgeous men offered to share you? Mean.” She fanned herself. “Well, are you interested? You know, in both?”
“The thing is—and I’ve been thinking on this nonstop since that damned kiss—I’m with Gideon. I chose him when I went to his place to tell him about the kiss. But then he was all, hey, take us both and now I’m torn.”
“Torn because you’d rather have just one than both? And if that’s true, that’s okay too, you know. I’m not sure I could manage two men at once. Adrian gives me more than enough to do.”
Jules wiped a counter down to keep moving. “Do I want them? Individually? Sure. Look at them! It’s more than their looks, of course. I’m falling in love with Gideon in a big way and I’d be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I denied how long I’ve loved Cal. But together? At the same time? I don’t know.”
“Is it the overabundance of penis? Or worry that they’re not interested in your parts best?”
Jules laughed and then hugged Gillian tight. “Thank God for you.”
“I say this about you all the time.”
Jules was so glad Gillian had come in. She needed this so badly. Needed the support and honesty she got from her best friend.
“Gideon loves you. I admit that I’ve got a natural bias toward Cal. I’ve known him longest. He’s like family. But since I’ve met Gideon he’s been nothing but good to you. And you do deserve to be happy. If you can’t imagine being with them both, then don’t do it. Cal will get over it. He’ll have to.”
“What kind of flesh-and-blood woman with a pulse
wouldn’t
imagine being with them both? I’m only human, Gillian. I’ve imagined it all right.” So much her wrists hurt from masturbating so often.
Gillian grinned and cocked her head. “Have you thought about talking to Erin? I know she can be sort of bold and wild, but she’s a wonderful listener. She puts a lot of work into her relationship with Todd and Ben. It can work if you do it right and you have the right combo of people.”
“Honestly if you were telling me this story, I’d yell at you to get out of here and jump both men. You’re very patient.”
“You love them both. I know this about you. You’re thinking this over because it would change everything. No matter what decision you make, everything will be different. There’s no way around it, I’m sorry to say. Once Cal kissed you, things were thrown onto a wholly different path.”
“I know.” She paused and then blurted it out because she needed to say it. “It was a really, really good kiss. If he’d kissed me like that six months ago, we’d be happily together right now. He’s quite a dumbass for a man who looks as good as he does.” Jules chewed her lip a moment and then just said it. “I’m afraid Gideon will think the same thing about his kisses and they’ll get sick of me. It’s stupid and petty and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Gillian made one of her polite little growls of annoyance. “He’s a fool for waiting so long. As for the kiss? I’m glad. I mean, I figured it was. You two, well, there’s years and years of built-up stuff between you. But back to the threesome thing. I don’t think this is about them both secretly being totally gay and then they’ll find out and dump you. I can understand why you’d worry. But they both want
you.
I’m telling you the total truth when I say I’ve watched Cal watch you for years. He’s in love with you, Jules. Not with anyone else. Same with Gideon.”
“So you think I should give it a try? The, um, threesome thing? I mean, we didn’t make rules. It’s not like it has to be all double penetration all the time or anything. Or any.” She shuddered. “That just seems sticky and messy and not entirely pleasant for the person who is being stuffed full of cock.”
Gillian blushed and then laughed so hard she started to choke.
“I’m with you on that. So why not, you know, have a conversation with Gideon and Cal about this? You can’t avoid them forever. They’re pretty alpha dudes. They’re only going to be patient so long before they come to track you down.”
“I asked them for some space and some time. They left me alone for a day.” She laughed. “In the four days since there’ve been several phone messages. The last one was Cal telling me he was going to hunt me down if I didn’t stop ignoring him.”
“He’s adorable for a boy with so much cheek.” Gillian winked.
Yes. He was. And yes, she needed to confront this whole thing like a big girl.
• • •
Cal showed up at the farmhouse on Friday. Patrick led him though the house to the kitchen where Gideon had been making a pot of tea.
“I’ll bring this through in a bit. I’m just letting it steep.” Gideon spoke to Patrick, who snorted.
“I have plans, boy. I’ll see you later on.”
“You’re driving?” Gideon had been trying to wean his grandfather away from driving, at least on the city streets instead of on their land.
“No. I’m off to Ernesto’s place. His daughter should be here any moment to pick me up. She’s a pretty one. Don’t wait up.”
Gideon watched out the window until a car pulled up and then his father got in and left. Then he turned back to Cal.
“Have you heard from her?” Meaning Jules. He’d called and left voice mails but she hadn’t responded.
“No.” Cal’s expression was as frustrated as Gideon felt.
“Have some tea. There’s a fresh pot.”
But then his phone rang. Her number. Gideon picked it up quickly and hoped he didn’t sound as forlorn as he felt. The time away from Jules had only convinced him of how right they were for each other. He’d missed her like crazy.
“Will you be around later? I wanted to talk to you.”
“Can I come to you? Or do you want to come out here? Granddad’s gone and I’m in the big house with a pot of tea. And Cal, he just showed up here, but I can make him leave if that’s what you want.”
Cal flipped him off, but Gideon knew he’d leave if that’s what he thought was best for Jules. Despite the idiocy of that kiss in the alley, it was totally clear to him that Cal adored Jules.