Her hands moved restlessly in her lap. 'So along
comes Kade,' she said softly. 'A younger man than he is now, of course, but just as dynamic and just as attractive to the opposite sex. I think Drusilla saw him as the ideal man, like any other girl she had her dreams, dreams that in her case had never been fulfilled, and in Kade she saw the sort of man she might have married.' She gave a whimsical smile at this point. 'Imagine how she felt, Tanya, as sheltered a life as she had led, she suddenly found that her beauty was ignored, and no matter how she tried Kade continually kept her at a distance.'
Tanya swallowed. She didn't have to imagine, she knew, she had received exactly the same treatment from him.
'So before she knew it she had imagined herself head over heels in love with him,' resumed Connie, unaware of Tanya's thoughts. 'She used to think up little gambits to give her an excuse to go and find him on the farm. She made it her business to know where he would be at a certain time and just casually drop by,' at this Tanya gave a painful wince, and Connie's sympathetic eyes met hers. 'She wasn't herself, Tanya. It was a kind of madness that had possessed her, and I don't think anyone could have done anything about it except Kade, and he did.'
'He took a horsewhip to her, didn't he?' whispered Tanya, who felt that she had heard enough, and was beginning to feel sick.
Connie's eyes blazed for a moment before she said harshly, 'She didn't spare you much, did she? I know now who told yOu. It was Melanie Black, wasn't it?' she demanded, and before Tanya could answer she went on, 'That particular story isn't general property, and she didn't get it from Kade either. That little
besom has a way of ferreting out information, particularly if it concerns Kade, but it didn't happen that way,' she told. Tanya, who now had her eyes closed and sat hunched in abject misery. 'I can tell you the true story, because Drusilla herself told me, and you're going to hear it, there's enough mischief been done without adding lies to it.' She went on quickly before Tanya could attempt to stop her as it was obvious that she wanted to.
'I told you how she used to seek Kade out, didn't I? Well, she'd gone to the stables this time, just as Kade was about to ride out on his rounds of inspection of the orchards. She was in riding kit herself and she probably hoped he would ask her to accompany him, but of course he did no such thing. Drusilla was so piqued that she completely let herself go, and slashed out at him with her riding whip. It was sheer frustration that made her act so out of character. Kade caught the whip and threatened to use it on her if she didn't leave him alone.' Connie gave a grim smile. 'I guess he didn't wrap it up, the time had come for plain talk, and you know Kade, he doesn't mince his words.' She sighed deeply. 'The trouble was, one of the employees who was looking for Kade heard that last part of it and cleared off to spread the news. Kade quickly put a stop to that, though, and the episode was completely wiped off the records.' She shrugged. 'But you know how folk are, they relish things like that, although no one would dare to repeat the story for fear of losing their job, not around here anyway.'
She gave Tanya a curious look. 'What did you do to infuriate her? She could lose her job, you know, if Kade finds out.'
Tanya's eyebrows lifted in surprise, 'Melanie lose
her job?' she repeated with a slightly sceptical air. 'I thought she was Kade's right hand.'
Connie gave a grim nod at this. `So she may be, but anyone else could fill the same position given the years she's worked for him. She's not the only efficient secretary around, although she thinks she is. Well? You still haven't told me how she came to tell you something that ought to have remained buried in the past.'
Tanya pushed back a strand of her white-gold hair that had fallen across her forehead, with a weary gesture. She wanted to forget that part of it, but she never would; up until then her life had been full of expectation, now it was empty and echoed with bitter memories of the past. She was grateful to Connie for putting the record straight, not that it made things any easier for her, for in essence Melanie had told the truth.
Her wide grey-green eyes rested on Connie, but there was no light in them now, for they were haunted with sadness. Connie was waiting for an answer—she owed her that much at least, she thought. Tanya told her about how she had challenged Melanie's decision to fire Mr Davidson and how she had got him reinstated, ending tiredly with, 'I don't think she would have taken it so badly if I hadn't happened to be in the office and overheard Kade tearing a strip off her.' She shrugged her slim shoulders. 'I couldn't help overhearing, his office was open when I went into her office, and I wasn't able to get out fast enough.'
Connie nodded sagely. 'That must have hurt her pride,' she commented, with a certain amount of satisfaction in her voice. 'But it's about time someone stopped her gallop. I know for a fact that she's got rid of several of the old hands long before they were due to
retire. It's been a case of you either get on with the secretary or you were out, she's gathered a nice bunch of cheer leaders around her as a result.' She nodded her head again. 'She's had it all her own way up to now, and it's gone to her head, but I wouldn't mind betting she's doing a bit of nail-biting now for ripping into you like that, she must be terrified that Kade will find out she's blabbed.'
Tanya's mouth set in a firm line. 'He won't find out from me,' she said grimly. 'The less I see of him the better. If he's such a good manager he ought to have known what was going on in the offices,' she added cryptically.
Connie gave her a surprised look, then pursed her lips in a disapproving way. 'He's a busy man, Tanya, as long as the work is carried out that's all he worries about.'
'Precisely!' Tanya bit out. 'The man's a machine! I doubt if he has any personal sentiments on anything.'
'Now you've no call to talk like that,' exclaimed Connie quickly. 'As for being a machine, you're not talking about the business, are you? It's my guess you're thinking of your mother!' At Tanya's quick glance away from her searching eyes, she continued, 'Would you have expected him to have an affair with his employer's wife? If you did, then you don't know Kade. Your father helped his father out years ago when a big holding of his stocks crashed. Your father stood surety for him, and he's never looked back from that day to this. He owns the largest chemical complex in the country now, but he would have been finished years ago if it hadn't been for your father. That's why Kade chose to work for him, he felt he owed a debt, and he
respected him too much to indulge in any underhand affair, no matter what.'
Tanya's eyes searched Connie's honest ones. `Do you think he loved my mother?' she asked her.
Connie shook her head firmly. 'No, pet, he didn't. She told me this herself, and it's a thing a woman usually knows, no matter how much they might try to fool themselves. Whatever Kade said to her that day, it pulled her round. I found her sobbing her heart out in the laundry room where she thought no one would find her. She told me she was ashamed of herself, she'd been a fool, and didn't think she could ever forgive herself for giving way to such madness. She must have made her mind up then to go away.' She gave Tanya a small smile. 'She had her pride, you know, and I guess she just couldn't live with it. Your father had probably guessed what was going on, but he must have known that he could rely on Kade's integrity, and he loved your mother enough to hope that things would settle down again,' she sighed. 'But it wasn't to be. Within a week she had left, and taken you with her.'
Tanya ate very little supper that evening. She hadn't been able to face dinner, and an understanding Connie had let her off without scolding her. She had very little sleep that night, her mind was too active. She felt desperately sorry for her mother who must have known so much unhappiness, and now she was able to understand why she had never remarried. She had made not one, but two bitter mistakes in the past, and was not likely to risk a third. As for Kade, Tanya's feelings remained the same. She felt that he could have put an end to the miserable situation much sooner than he had—or failing that, have left himself. If her father had been
given a choice in the matter he would surely have wanted to keep his wife and child beside him, for Tanya couldn't see how he could have remained ignorant of what was going on, although it was hardly something that could be discussed openly without a great deal of embarrassment on all sides, so in Tanya's eyes it had been up to Kade to move out.
Her lips twisted wryly at this thought. Not Kade, she thought, he was so used to women falling over him that it would never occur to him that a woman had her pride too. She could see only too well his reasoning on the matter. If the woman had made a fool of herself over him then he had no sympathy with her, and if the woman was married, then the sooner she learnt that her place with with her husband, the better. He would have no other thoughts on the matter, and it would never occur to him to feel pity for them. He was utterly ruthless and as hard as nails, and she wondered how she could ever have imagined herself in love with him.
Before she fell asleep that night, Tanya promised herself that before another six months had elapsed she would take over the reins of the farm—and if that wasn't possible, she would employ another manager to help her run the business. The second probability would suit her better, she decided drowsily; she couldn't see herself undergoing training from Kade, not now, and not ever!
THE following morning when Tanya sat down to breakfast there were violet smudges under her eyes, and when she refused the cooked breakfast that Connie placed before her and said that she only wanted a cup of coffee, Connie placed her plump hands on her waist and said sternly, 'It's no use dwelling on the past, Tanya. What's done is done, and no amount of wishful thinking will change things, you just remember that.'
Tanya nodded curtly at this kindly meant scolding, but it didn't alter her feelings one iota. She hated Kade for what he had done to her mother. There were ways of telling someone you weren't interested, and she ought to know, he had used the tactic on her when she was only a child, and was still using it, but there was no possibility now of her making a fool of herself over him. 'Melanie said Kade had other businesses to attend to, is that right?' she asked Connie.
Connie gave her a straight look before she answered, 'I guess so. He's a business man when all is said and done. I did hear he'd bought up several fruit farms the other side of the valley—why?' she asked abruptly.
Tanya gave an offhand shrug, 'Oh, he did say something about my running the business later on,' she said. 'I gathered he's got plans to move on, and of course there's his father's business too, isn't there?' Her brooding eyes rested speculatingly on the coffee jug.
'And you can't wait for that to happen,' remarked
Connie shrewdly. 'Well, I wouldn't count on it. Sure Kade's got other interests, but it's here that he spends most of his time. He could have got out years ago if he'd a mind to. It's also true that his father wants him back in the family business, but it's what Kade wants that matters.'
'Oh, yes,' replied Tanya cuttingly, 'I've learnt that much by now.'
'Off on a crusade to avenge your mother, are you?' demanded Connie.
Tanya's eyes were wide as she stared back at Connie and the hurt that was mirrored in them made Connie move quickly to her side and give her a slight hug. 'I told you how it was, pet,' she said, with a soothing note in her voice. 'And it was the truth. Don't take it out on Kade, for sure as sure, you'll regret it. He had a bad time, too, and you'd do well to remember that.'
Tanya stared down into the dark liquid depths of her coffee and gave Connie a weary half-nod, but said nothing, and Connie gave her another hug. 'Leave well alone, pet, and let the future take care of itself. You're home now, and that's all that matters.'
It was all very well Connie saying that she should let well alone, Tanya thought, as she set off for the office that morning, but her world had been turned upside down and she didn't see how it would ever be set right again. She had been walking around wearing rose-tinted spectacles, but now they had been taken away from her and had left her blinking in the harsh sunlight. It would take some time for her to adjust herself to this new world of brutal fact that she had been thrown into.
For the first time since she had arrived back at home
and started work in the offices, she was grateful for the fact that Kade had made certain of her keeping out of his way by assigning her work in the outer offices of the firm. He was not likely to seek her out on any occasion, and in the light of her awakening she was hardly likely to seek him out.
She sat next to a girl who was handling export slips and tried to listen to what she was telling her about the procedure carried out at this particular juncture of sales, but her mind would wander off on its own channels of thought and they had nothing to do with the intricacies of the export trade.
When Mrs Rodgers told her that Mr Kade wanted to see her in his office, Tanya's first reaction was one of panic. She didn't want to see him, it was too soon, she needed time to adjust herself before she faced him, but it appeared she wasn't going to be given that time.
As she walked through the corridors of the outer offices and through to the main section, she wondered if he had found out about Melanie's indiscretion, but couldn't see how. She did not see Melanie confessing and throwing herself open to his wrath, particularly after what had happened the previous day. Perhaps he wanted to tell her he had decided to leave the firm? At this thought hope soared high in Tanya's heart. Oh, if only it was that, and that he would take Melanie with him. But he would, she was sure of it, just as sure as Melanie had been herself. It had been her manner towards Tanya, for she was too clever to risk upsetting someone she thought would be her employer in a few months' time, and her attitude towards Tanya had never been what might be termed as 'subservient'.