But she wasn’t going down that road either. Not now, and maybe not ever again. The sooner she got the big lug out of her home, the quicker she could get back to feeling safe.
Candice had to admit that being around Blade didn’t panic her. It only made her more aware of him as a man. And now she knew her crush had gone to her head and caused her to have some pretty wicked dreams. It was downright amazing the way the mind worked.
She decided the best approach would be to keep things polite and friendly. “Would you care for something to drink?” There, that sounded normal and in control.
Blade took in her appearance. She’d put on a sundress, but it was long, sleeveless and unshapely. The shape of her body was hidden beneath the pale-yellow cotton. The way his eyes heated, she might as well be standing before him in a satin teddy. He smiled at her, slung an arm over the back of the couch and asked, “Got a cold beer?”
Candice had to stop from visibly cringing. “I don’t drink. Sorry.” Never again, she thought with trepidation. “Just soft drinks and lemonade, I’m afraid.”
“Nothing for me, thanks.” His head cocked to the side as his lips kicked into a crooked grin. Suddenly, Candice couldn’t think of anything but the fascinating way Blade’s features softened when he did that.
“I’d much rather you sit down,” he coaxed. When Candice only stared at him, his brows shot up. “I won’t bite.” She was sure he was going to add something to that statement, but he must have changed his mind because he went silent instead. Silent and watchful.
She moved forward and sat in the chair opposite him. No way was she going to sit next to him on the couch. That would be entirely too close for her peace of mind. She might have a panic attack. One embarrassing moment a day was her limit. Unfortunately, as soon as she was seated, he went right back to his earlier question.
“So, Lacey—being the good friend that she is—wouldn’t tell me why you…panicked at the gym,” he stated gruffly. “But I’m a nosy bastard and I won’t let this 18
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rest until I know why you freaked when those men flirted with you.” He leaned forward, and Candice could almost feel the heat in his eyes. The way he stared had her body rioting out of control. “So, out with it, Candy, because you said yourself that I don’t tend to give up until I get what I want.”
What she was about to tell him would probably have him running as fast as his feet would take him. The few men she’d opened up to about her date-rape had acted as if she’d somehow done something unforgivable. She hated for Blade, of all people, to feel that way, too.
“I have panic attacks whenever I’m around men.” She looked down at her lap and said, “For about a year now, ever since I was raped.” There, she’d said it. He would leave, and she could cry in silence.
“You were raped?”
Blade’s voice sounded harsh and cold, as if the idea left a bad taste in his mouth.
Feeling defensive, Candice went stiff and her voice dripped with icy venom. “Yes. And even though I’ve been to counseling, I still have a problem whenever I feel threatened or cornered by a man.”
Blade shot to his feet and spewed out a variety of curses, some she’d never heard before. His large, strong hands balled into fists of fury at his sides and his muscles bunched beneath his t-shirt as he paced away from her. Candice wasn’t sure what to do.
She sat as fear crept in, helpless to stop it.
“Blade?” she managed before her throat closed. He turned at the sound of her quivery voice. All at once, his anger seemed to melt away, and he knelt at her feet.
“Don’t do that, sweetheart. I would never hurt you. Never, I swear it. I’ve never had a woman fear me before. Please,” he begged softly, “I don’t think I could stand it if I thought you were afraid of me.”
She took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, calming her jittery stomach, then counted to ten. Finally able to speak, she asked, “Why did you get so angry?”
She’d begun to clutch at the skirt of her dress, and when she released the soft material, he held her hands gently in his own. “The thought of someone hurting you that
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way…” Blade closed his eyes tightly for a moment, then opened them, staring at her with unreleased fury lighting their icy-blue depths. “It makes me want to kill the filthy bastard.”
She didn’t quite know what to make of that. She’d never had a man feel anger on her behalf before. It was a new experience. And not all that unpleasant, either. “He’s in prison,” she said, as if that made it all okay. It didn’t, of course, but knowing that Lance couldn’t hurt anyone else helped ease the pain.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s lame, but it’s all I’ve got.”
Blade spoke with such tenderness. It stunned her that someone with such a hard exterior could have so much compassion. She had a feeling there was a lot about Blade that would surprise her. For the first time in a long while, Candice didn’t feel a terrible cloud hanging over her.
“It’s not your fault.” She tried a smile and observed their entwined fingers, wondering why she wasn’t pulling away, wondering why her fingers pressed against his seemed so right. “I’m learning to deal with it. I just…” She shrugged and tried to explain.
“I can’t be around men. I get very nervous, and it just snowballs from there.”
Very gently, as if afraid of spooking her, Blade said, “So, that’s what happened at the gym today?” She nodded. “I see. Do you want to talk about it? I’m a pretty good listener.” She bit her lip, skeptical, and he added, “Come and sit beside me on the couch.”
Her eyes must have conveyed her fear over the idea of being so close, because he quickly added, “I promise we’ll just talk. It’ll be okay.”
He stood and tugged at her hand. Candice let him pull her to her feet, then she sat next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and she almost shot off the couch. But his fingers began to massage, and she relaxed.
“Okay?” Blade whispered.
She nodded. It was strange to be this close to a man and not feel threatened. Dr.
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no matter who that man might be. Still, sitting there with Blade…well, she had to admit it wasn’t totally unpleasant.
“Do you want to tell me about it, sweetheart?”
Blade’s voice was whispery soft against her cheek, and she nestled into the crook of his arm so she couldn’t see his face. That helped her to open up.
“His name is Lance Markum. We worked together—before I came to work for your brother—and I’d had a mild crush on him. A bunch of the girls thought he was really something, but he’d asked me out and I felt special. I’d…I’d never been with a man before.” Thinking of it all over again, Candice knew she’d been naïve.
“I was so thrilled he’d chosen me. We went to a movie, then he brought me back to his apartment. He gave me something to drink. It wasn’t until the next day, at the hospital, that I found out he’d drugged me.” She shrugged. “I guess I was pretty naïve about the whole thing. He told me afterwards that he’d picked me because I’d be an easy mark and he’d enjoy popping my cherry.”
Blade’s body stiffened, so she finished. “Fortunately, that’s what kept going through my mind during the trial. He was so sure I wouldn’t prosecute, and I just kept thinking there wasn’t a chance in hell he was ever going to get another woman alone like that.”
She smiled when she thought back on Lance’s reaction. “The shock and panic on his face when I sat on the witness stand and told everyone what he’d done was worth every second of the humiliating cross-examination.”
“Christ, I’m sorry you had to go through that.” They were both silent a moment, then Blade prompted, “You had your family with you, though?”
She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. “I was adopted by two very loving people, but they died five years ago in a plane crash, which left me with this house. It was one of those commuter flights and they were going on a second honeymoon.”
Blade didn’t know what to say. This small bundle of nerves had endured so much.
He could easily take Lance Markum apart with his bare hands. He wanted to get him in a room alone and make him feel as helpless, as vulnerable, as he’d made Candice feel. That
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she’d had to deal with it all on her own made his heart ache for her. That Markum had stolen her virginity in such a vulgar way made him so mad a red haze of hate filled his vision.
Blade could never imagine what it must have been like having to face the slimy bastard in court. But he was so proud of Candice. Her strength boggled him.
“I’m sorry about your parents, sweetheart. And I’m sorry as hell for what that bastard took from you.”
Candice’s shoulders slumped, then began to quiver. She was crying. It made him feel helpless and weak when a woman cried, but Lacey had told him once that sometimes a woman just needed to shed a few tears if she ever wanted to feel good again.
So Blade held Candice close while she poured out her grief, and he waited. Once she was done, he was going to set a few things straight, as there was no way he was going to let her shut him out the way she’d done with the rest of the world. She had too much to give.
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“I want you to come with me tonight,” Blade stated.
Candice had no idea what he was talking about, but she was terribly embarrassed over her breakdown. How mortifying that twice in one day the handsome hulk had seen her in hysterics.
“Come with you?” She swiped at her swollen eyes. Trying to regain her dignity, Candice started to stand.
“Wait,” Blade said, holding her firmly against him. “Just hear me out before you erect your little shield.”
That got her back up. “I do not have a shield, Blade Vaughn,” Candice said. “And let go of me.” She was surprised when he did release her. She had to admit a twinge of disappointment that he’d ceded to her request so easily, but she was very glad he wouldn’t force her. She stood, facing him and glaring. Unfortunately, he was so incredibly tall that her standing had only put her at eye level with him, which wasn’t good for her equilibrium. As Blade’s lips kicked up at the corners, she melted into a puddle of desire and lust. He was just too good-looking for her peace of mind.
“You definitely have a shield,” he teased. “And it goes up anytime anyone gets too close.”
She crossed her arms under her breasts. “If you’re trying to ask me out, then you aren’t doing a very good job of it.”
“I’m asking you to come with me to a family cookout.”
Sheer terror replaced her ire. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“You know half the people already, Candy, so don’t go getting all jumpy on me.”
It had been a long time since she’d done anything sociable, and she wasn’t confident how she would react. It would be awful if she panicked in front of friends and coworkers.
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Blade pried her arms apart and took one of her hands in his own. He stared at their fingers as he rattled off who would be there.
“My mom is cooking, and I know you like my mom.” His deep, tender voice transfixed her. Obviously Blade took her silence as a sign that he could continue pleading his case. “Merrick and Chloe will be there, no doubt making goo-goo eyes at each other.
Nick and Lacey, as well, driving Mom crazy with their ‘we aren’t in a rush to marry’
bullshit.” He made a sad face as he murmured, “And me. All alone and forlorn because the one woman I want to spend the evening with turned me down flat.”
Had she actually thought he wasn’t a sweet-talker? My goodness, he could entice a nun out of her habit! “Okay, I’ll go,” she acquiesced. Blade’s smug expression forced her to add, “But I’m only agreeing to a cookout, nothing more. Understood?”
He held up both hands in mock surrender. “Understood.” He gently pushed her backwards and stood, too, towering over her and making her feel small and vulnerable.
He was so large. If he ever thought to force her, no amount of training in the world would be able to stop him from having what he wanted. She trembled.
Blade’s smile dropped. “Candy?” She only stared at him, unable to speak.
“Sweetheart, it’s just me. I would never hurt you,” he whispered. “I would rather cut off my own arm than cause you pain. I swear it.”
She knew that, she really did. The Vaughn family was all about principle and honor.
Candice had gotten to know Merrick through Chloe, and Lacey as well, from having her as her personal trainer. She did trust Blade, but he was still a man, and that irrefutable fact made her uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Blade. It’s not you.” She shrugged, angry for feeling so weak. “I guess I’m not ready yet.”
Blade touched her cheek with his palm. “Don’t back out on me, Candy. Go to the cookout. Let’s start with that, then if you’re still uncomfortable around me, I’ll understand.” He dropped his hands, clenched them into fists at his sides, and admitted, “I’ll hate it like hell, because I want you. I refuse to lie to you about that. I want you like crazy, and I have for a long time, but I will respect your decision. Understood?”
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She blinked then blinked again. He wanted her. Wow, now that was a lot to think about. What would it be like to make love to him in real life instead of just in her dreams?
In her dream world, Blade was virile and possessive and sweet, everything a man should be. How different would the real-life Blade be, Candice wondered, suddenly feeling warm and uncomfortable.
Oh my, he really was something. So dark and hard, and his mustache was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. Especially when he smiled. A surge of feminine awareness flowed through her. How bad could a cookout be? She would be among people she knew. People she liked and respected. Maybe this was just what she needed. And just what her doctor had ordered.