Teach Before You Fuck (Before You Fuck #1) (3 page)

“Just like old times when I worked at Denny’s,” I said and reached out to hug him.

Jonathan lifted me up and gave me a big hug. He felt comfortable.

“It’s nice to see you, Laura,” Jonathan said, “I missed you.”

He smiled and it seemed genuine. My heart raced, which surprised me. I didn’t get excited like that very often anymore. It felt new, even though it was Jonathan.

“I’m famished,” he said and we hopped into his car, “Where’s a good place to grab dinner?”

“Let’s go to Swingers Grille,” I said.

“Well, you don’t waste any time,” he replied.

“It’s by a golf course, you ass,” I laughed.

Dinner conversation flowed over prime rib and wine. It felt like we were really catching up on a full year of an absence. I shared my passion for teaching with Jonathan and he seemed genuinely interested. He told me that he had been able to take some courses that would help him get accepted into the business program.

I was reminded that in person we had something that felt like a connection. I wondered if it was just a shared past as he told me all about his new friends. The people he knew now were completely different than me. All of his friends came from old money. I told him about Alex and he said he would enjoy meeting him sometime.

“He has cleared out of the apartment this weekend –“

“Laura, that’s not necessary. I’ve booked a hotel room for us.” I arched an eyebrow at him.

When we arrived at the hotel room, Jonathan immediately shut and locked the door while I explored suite. The room was on the top floor and had a little stairway going up to a lofted bedroom.

“Fancy,” I said, turning to him.

Then Jonathan grabbed me with an intensity I didn’t remember. He started kissing me. We fell to the floor, frantically kissing and pulling off each other’s clothes. I could tell there would be no warm-up this time, because we were so desperate to feel our usual closeness. I had my shirt unbuttoned and I had no bra on. My breasts were exposed and Jonathan started kissing and biting my nipples. He pulled off my shirt and then got himself out of his polo shirt. My skirt was still on and I attempted to get out of it.

“Keep the skirt on, it’s hot to fuck under a skirt,” he said.

I was undressing him and was reminded of the scent of his cologne and his skin. His body was just as cut before. He lay me back on the carpet and I felt the weight of his body pushing me into the plush of the carpet. His shirt was off and he started unbuckling his belt.

Jonathan pushed back up to his knees to pull his pants off and there was his cock. It looked bigger than I remembered. It was so long since I’d fucked him, fucked anyone actually, I’d forgotten what an erect penis looked like. It was pretty intimidating.

I pulled myself up and starting moving towards the stairs to make our way to the bedroom. Jonathan grabbed my hand and said, “Why don’t we do it right here?”

He pushed me face down on the stairs, pushing his chest on top of my back. He grabbed my hips, and lifting up my skirt, he pulled down my thong and pushed two fingers inside me. I flinched from the abruptness.

“Oh Laura,” he moaned.

I hadn’t fucked anyone in a long time and without foreplay, I didn’t feel ready for him, but he wasted no time moving his fingers inside of me. I moaned and then I felt the push of his dick entering me. His dick was like a hard rod and I moaned, “Ow, Jon…” I couldn’t say anything else because he reached his hand around to my mouth and covered it. “Don’t say a word, Laura.”

His dick was getting deeper inside me and then he shoved it hard, bringing tears to my eyes. Jonathan started thrusting and he took his hand off of my mouth to grab my hips and move my ass hard, back into his body. “Ow, ow, no...” I moaned softly.

“You know you love it, Laura,” he said.

Finally, my body warmed up and there was wetness as he thrusted his rock hard cock in and out of me. He reached around and started fondling my clit and then he pushed my head down and lifted up my ass. My chest and knees were forced gruffly into the carpeted stairs.

“Arch your back Laura,” he told me.

I arched, which backed my ass up so he could get deeper inside me. My ass slapped up against him over and over, each time I felt a mixture of pleasure and pain. He was hitting all the right places when he grinded into my body, but each hard thrust hit a place deep inside me that made my eyes widen with pain.

“Jonathan, it hurts,” I said and again Jonathan covered my mouth.

Finally, he started moving his dick back and forth faster, and further inside me, and when the pain caused more tears to come to my eyes, he came inside me. And then I realized that my body was squeezing around his dick in rhythmic bursts. I had climaxed. 

He fell on top of me, exhausted, which pushed me onto the stairs.

“I don’t want to take my dick out of you,” he said, while I was thinking how badly I wanted his cock out.

He must have sensed my feelings, “You know you wanted it too, Laura. You haven’t had sex in awhile, huh?”

“Yep,” I said, wanting to say that he had been rough with me, but then I thought he probably already knew that.

“Sorry Laura, if you thought I was rough. You fucking turn me on and I can’t control myself.”

Chapter Eleven

We made our way upstairs to the bed and I felt asleep, exhausted from the adrenaline rush and our intense fucking.

When I woke up I thought that maybe Jonathan wasn’t a good for me. I lay there and then I turned my face to look at him.
Could I wake up to that face every day? Could I marry this man when I turn thirty? I guess I could, if I had run out of viable options. We could have kids and he could provide for them. I wouldn’t have to work.

But wait, I like everything I’ve learned about being a teacher. I can’t wait to get in the classroom. I’m not ready to chuck it and just sit at home and wait for Jonathan to fuck me.

I pulled up the covers around myself and pushed my face into the pillow.
I should just get up and gather all my clothes and get the hell out of here.

I rolled over and fell asleep.

Jonathan and I parted that morning without fanfare. He leaned up out of bed to scroll through some messages on his phone, while I took at shower and got ready to leave. I had a few hours before I started work, but I didn’t want to hang out with him.

“Gotta go, Jonathan,” I said as I pulled on my skirt and top from the day before. I walked over to the bed where Jonathan was just reading through the headlines on his phone.

He looked up at me, “You’re leaving?”

I couldn’t read him. Did he want me to stay so he could fuck me again? I still was sore from last night and I knew from experience that fucking now would be pretty painful. I wanted to get some distance between him and so I could process what happened last night and decide what I should do next, if anything.

What happened between us was plain and simple pure fucking. There was no real love, but it was evident that we both got something out of it. Even though I always climaxed when I had sex with Jonathan, later I felt dirty. It was obvious that any pretense of a relationship was gone now. The problem was that when he liked it rough during high school, it was within the confines of us dating. Now, we were living different lives and he pretty much just took what he wanted last night. It was hot, which was probably why I climaxed, but as I walked out of the hotel into the bright sunlight, I felt a hollowness that I hadn’t felt before. And I didn’t want to feel that way again.

Chapter Twelve

During my second year, I threw myself into my studies. I was right that Alex and I made the best roommates. He was perfect in every way: he did dishes, he was not a slob, and he didn’t leave his stuff everywhere. The only problem with our arrangement was that it turned out that in the classroom, we were rivals. I should have known how much of a fighter Alex was in the classroom when I first learned about how he had persevered to get to college. We competed for the best grades in the class, but we even tried to top each other on papers we turned in.

I had to best Alex. I knew that I could. I worked hard and I ignored my love life. It would be too much of a distraction.

Every night Alex and I set up in the living room. We had two couches with a coffee table in the middle. We’d put on the TV in the background and leave some trashy reality show on mute while we stacked our books up and went at it. We’d read and quiz each other. When we had papers due, we’d crack open our laptops at the kitchen table and just go for it.

The only break I would take was to cook and bake, my other passion. I whipped up brownies for Alex or banana bread for me after taking tough quizzes. Dinners were either a quick stir fry or my famous baked pasta.

“You’ve turned me into a fat gay blob,” Alex joked.

“Yep, it’s my secret weapon: if you can’t get off the couch, then you can’t get to class and beat me on our exams,” I replied, laughing.

“I’m never going to land a man if I’m chunky,” Alex said, “When I go to the gym, no guy is going to fuck me in the shower anymore.”

“There are chubby chasers, Alex. Don’t lose hope!”

“How come you don’t gain weight, Laura?”

“I think being anxious changes your metabolism. I’m nervous, therefore I burn calories,” I said.

“Please tell me that you are not holding out for that high school preppy jock— ”

“Don’t even say his name. I’m not holding a torch for him. I don’t want to see him again.”

“Ok, girl. you got it. No need to bite my head off!”

Chapter Thirteen

The years went by like that. Alex and I pushed ourselves, we studied like machines, and it paid off. We were top of our classes, sometimes he was first and sometimes I was. It was a virtual dead heat for class president, but then he ended up winning during the recount. I was okay with that. He could focus on the club, while I picked up some more hours waitressing.

Alex and I stayed in and focused on our studies. We were big dorks, but we had our reasons. We were both damaged. Alex told me that even though he knew he was gay, and his family knew it as well, he just didn’t feel ready to get out there and date.

“Laura, there aren’t that many gay guys here in Normal. I’m waiting for someone special and there aren’t any here.”

I didn’t want to push him because he had finally laid off asking me to get out there and date. I wasn’t waiting for my prince charming or anything, but I wanted to fully heal from Jonathan before jumping into something new.

Alex and I still went out and partied with friends -- and we would throw keggers at our place, too. Alex had a magnetism about himself that made people flock to him. Being black and gay, he stuck out. And because he was funny, smart and kind, he was memorable. Everyone wanted him as their friend.

I was also going back home to visit my mom every so often. My mom was entirely independent, but because she didn’t have a partner and I was her only kid, she really needed to see me every few weeks to feel that family connection. She loved hearing Alex stories, both ones from his past and ones from our partying on campus. She wanted me to have fun, but she didn’t push me to find someone.

“You’ve got the rest of your life to find that perfect person. It doesn’t have to happen in college, sweetie,” she advised me, “I want to meet Alex.”

It just never seemed to work out to have Alex come home with me. He had his own family to consider. They needed his support, too. His mother lived with Alex’s younger sister and they didn’t have a lot of money. He didn’t work while he was at school, but they needed his support in other ways.

When we were on campus, we would go to various schools and do observations. Then we started preparing for our student teaching externships. We were both excited to finally get into the classroom, teach actual children, and work with teacher mentors. We received student teaching placements by our families, which eased the financial burden of that semester as well as made our families happy. I missed Alex quite a bit that semester, but I was incredibly busy as a student teacher.

We started out the semester introducing ourselves to the students and playing the role of classroom assistant. But every week we took on more of the teacher’s work so that by the end of the semester we were teaching the class independently. Our teacher mentor would watch us and act as a classroom aide.

I realized how much work it was to be in charge of a classroom of 22 first graders. I also was reminded that I loved interacting with kids. They were quirky and fun at that age. I also got exposure to bilingual students and children getting special education.

 Alex and I wrapped up our student teaching experiences and came back to campus within days of each other. Seeing him again, I ran up to him and we hugged each other while he swung me around. He was my best friend and I needed him in my life so much.

We knew we only had a short while together before our college years would wrap up and we’d be off on new adventures. But we had to get out there and interview. Who knew where we’d end up our first year of teaching?

Chapter Fourteen

No matter how many years of wanting to be a teacher and four years of preparation and student teaching behind you, the interview process is something no college student really wants to face. Sure, I wanted a job, but it just sucked to go in front of potential employers and explain why I wanted to work at their school.

Luckily Illinois State set up a teacher job fair for its graduating seniors. The school of education rented out the largest space at the student union where each school with open positions could set up a table, conduct mini-intro interviews, take resumes, and hand out literature.

Alex and I were prepared for that day. We both wore suits and had 30 copies of our resumes. If I ran out, I could head over to the nearby computer lab and print out more.

My heels clicked on the walk towards the union and Alex laughed.

“Work it, girl,” Alex said, “Damn, wish I had some bitchin’ heels.”