Tears of a Tiger (9 page)

FEBRUARY 4

—Hey, B.J. Whatsup? Whatcha got for lunch?

—Nothin' much, Tyronio. Probably baloney again. I
hate
baloney sandwiches.

—Don't you make your own lunch? My mama told me a long time ago, “Tyrone, if you want lunch, you better make it yourself, ‘cause I got more important things to do!”

—Naw, man. My mama
loves
me—she takes the time each mornin' to make me a nutritious, delicious luncheon!

—Yeah, baloney sandwiches!!…Hey, Andy. Put your tray right here. You have to sit downwind of B.J. He's got baloney and mustard again. Where's Keisha?

—She went to the library to get a book for a report she's got to do. She'll be down in a minute. Tyrone, where's Rhonda?

—She's got a chemistry lab to finish. I do admire intelligent women. Say, Andy, remember when Rob was tryin' to go with that exchange student from Hong Kong because she was so good in math? Remember how she—

—Hey! Leave Rob out of this. He's dead, okay? I get sick and tired of you two always talkin' ‘bout Rob! Like you tryin' to bring him back or somethin'! What're you tryin' to do—make sure I don't forget that I'm alive and he's dead? Okay, you've made your point—he's dead! He's dead! He's dead! He's
still
dead! Do you hear me? I'm outta here.

—Man, I don't know how to deal with this. It seems like he ought to be gettin' better, but he's gettin' worse. I still have bad dreams ‘bout that night, but I'm learnin' to live with it. Andy keeps freakin' out.

—Yeah, B.J., I know where you comin' from. Maybe we should talk to his parents or somethin'.

—Naw, man. That's like talkin' to this baloney sandwich. Wait a minute, I got an idea. Isn't old lady Thorne always sayin' stuff like we should come and talk to her in the counselor's office if we ever have a problem?

—Yeah, but I can't stand her.

—Me neither, but she's got to know somebody who can give Andy some help. That's her job, ain't it?

—You're right. Let's get over there before the bell rings.

 

—I certainly am glad that you boys have come expressing your concern for your friend. What seems to be the problem?

—Well, Mrs. Thorne, Andy seems depressed all the time and gets mad at us for no reason. Sometimes he starts cryin'. A couple of weeks ago, he ran out of English class because we were readin' a play about some dead white guy.

—It was
Macbeth,
stupid. Anyway, Andy only seems happy when he's with Keisha or when he's actin' weird. And we didn't know who else to talk to.

—Now it's perfectly understandable that Andrew is having a difficult time adjusting to Robert's death. That was a very traumatic experience—for all of you, I might add. His behavior is really not out of the ordinary—anger, depression, even tears—are all positive signs that he is in the process of working it out. If he
didn't
show any of these signs, then we'd be concerned.

—But…but…it seems like…

—…like he needs help or somethin'.

—Well, I probably shouldn't tell you boys this, but he
is
getting some outside counseling. I tell you this in the strictest of confidences, because you seem to be so genuinely concerned. So you boys can relax and be assured that he is getting whatever help he needs.

—Well, thanks, Mrs. Thorne.

—Thank you, boys. Andrew should be proud to have such good friends.

 

—If she hada called me “boy” one more time, I was gonna smack her!

—When you do, smack her in the mouth—her breath be
kickin'
!

FEBRUARY 5

—Well, Andy, it's been a few weeks since we've talked. How've you been?

—Not bad. No real problems. I'm dealin' with the situation.

—That's good to know. I got the copy of the letter you wrote to Rob's parents. Thanks for sending it to me. That wasn't really necessary, you know.

—Yeah, I know, but I wanted you to know I got my stuff together.

—Did you send the letter to Mr. and Mrs. Washington?

—Yeah, I did. I wasn't goin' to at first. I was scared that it would upset them, but I finally mailed it. I didn't have the nerve to give it to them in person.

—Did they respond?

—Yeah, it kinda surprised me. Rob's mom stopped by our house. She cried, and she hugged me and she said she'd treasure that letter forever. I never will figure out women.

—What about Rob's dad?

—She said he forgives me too, but he's havin' a harder time dealin' with this. I can understand where he's comin' from.

—So what about you, Andy? Did it help you to write the letter?

—Yeah, I guess. I'm sleepin' better and I'm doin' better in school.

—No bad dreams?

—No bad dreams. Honest.

—Do you still blame yourself?

—Yeah, I guess I always will, but I'm learnin' to live with it.

—I think if you had said that you no longer felt guilty, I'd be worried. I see quite a bit of improvement in you, Andy. You have progressed from a state of “wanting to die” to the much more positive outlook of “learning to live.” That's encouraging.

—Do I hafta keep comin' here? I ain't nuts. I know what I'm doin'. I got my act together. Whatcha think?

—I tell you what. I think we can cut these sessions to an as-needed basis. I want you to call me if your life starts to get “unbalanced” in any way, or if you have any problems whatsoever, and we'll see what we can do to get things straight. You call me, anytime, night or day, you hear?

—Yeah, I hear you. I'll call. I promise. Thanks, man. Later.

—Peace, Andy.

FEBRUARY 6

FEBRUARY 10

—Hello, Mr. Jackson? This is Ms. Blackwell, Andy's English teacher. I'm calling because I'm concerned about Andy's performance and behavior in class.

—I see. I appreciate your call. What seems to be the problem?

—Well, academically, he's really slipping. He's missed four of the last six homework assignments. One of those was a major writing assignment—an essay on the importance of friendship. He's failed the last two quizzes, and we have a test coming up next week that I'm afraid he won't be ready for.

—You know, Andy never has made the grades that my wife and I expected of him. Every year I get calls from his teachers, saying he's not doing his homework, and he's failing tests. He's too old for me to spank. What do I do?

—I'm not sure what your course of action should be. You know him better than I do—I only see him once a day for fifty minutes. But surely some parental encouragement on your part would be helpful in reminding him that he's really only hurting himself. I believe that Andy has the ability—he just needs the desire to get it together. And as a black teacher, it really bothers me to see bright African-American young men like Andy waste their potential.

—I understand where you're coming from. And I appreciate your concern. Do you know some counselor there told him he'd never make it in pre-law?

—I believe it. Of course, to be perfectly balanced, we have plenty of teachers and counselors who are fair and would bend over backward to help Andy, but lately, even his behavior has been working against him.

—How do you mean?

—Well, he's been doing a lot more “acting out” lately. He's always been a cheerful, good-natured kid, with very few inhibitions, which sometimes does not lead to the best classroom behavior. Let's face it. That's teacher talk for: Andy will stand up on a table and sing “God Bless America” at the top of his lungs if he's giving a report on patriotism. The kids love it, and most of the times the teachers at least tolerate it. But lately, he's been doing mean, even dangerous things. For instance, last week he shot a bottle rocket out of a teacher's window, and yesterday he was sent out of my room for spitting on the floor; he was sent out of another class during a test. Andy ripped up a student's test paper and threw it in the trash—
before
the student had even finished the test and turned it in. There seem to be more of these kinds of incidents lately, not at all like the Andy we know and care about.

—I heard about the bottle-rocket incident, but the others are new to me. Couldn't it just be normal teenage stunts that we all do in high school?

—Perhaps, but I see other things in his personality that concern me. When he's not causing noticeable disturbances, he's somewhat withdrawn. He's stopped combing his hair, he slumps in his seat, and he keeps his head down on the desk unless I constantly remind him to sit up and pay attention. Is he getting enough sleep at night?

—From what I observe, kids that age forget to comb their hair half the time anyway. And with all the new hair styles that the kids are coming up with, there's no telling what he's planning to do with his hair next week. And, as far as I know, he's getting plenty of sleep. He doesn't have an after-school job because of basketball. He's in his room most nights by eleven o'clock, and from what you say, he's not using a lot of his time to do homework, so that doesn't seem to be a problem. Besides, he never was a “morning person.” He doesn't really get moving until noon.

—Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm concerned. A couple of weeks ago, he ran out of the room in tears in the middle of a discussion about the suicide of Lady Macbeth. Let me ask you this—and please don't misunderstand my intentions or think that I'm trying to intrude into the personal life of your family—but wasn't Andy seeing a counselor about possible problems that may have been caused by his involvement in that accident?

—Yes he was, initially. But the counselor has told me that he feels that Andy is adjusting quite well to the situation, and we will be discontinuing those sessions on a regular basis. I appreciate your efforts, but I feel that you might be overly concerned about a situation that is under control.

—I see. Well, thank you for your time. I hope Andy is able to get himself together and pass English this quarter. I'd hate to see him fail.

—I'll talk to him. You'll see an improvement. That's a promise.