Tears of Glass (The Jana Darren Saga Book 1) (2 page)

Jana Darren had the rather unfortunate habit of unintentionally sabotaging herself. Today was no exception. Five years of painstaking work finally convinced her superiors to take her seriously and grant her this promotion hearing, and now she was late. Taking the stairs two at a time, she tripped halfway up the flight and slammed her shin into the steel. Pain shot through her leg, and she gasped from the initial shock and bit back the urge to cry out. No time for petty injuries. If a freak accident along the way that left her limbless, Jana would still find a way to drag herself to this meeting.

Two minutes and one hundred seventy-six stairs later, she was breathing raggedly outside the door. Hearing Room 4. Her collar itched. The sterile hallway was too warm for comfort. Maybe it was just her. Jana inhaled deeply, lungs burning, and exhaled slowly to steady her breathing. Giving herself a quick once-over, mercilessly picking the specks of lint off the dark fabric of her blazer. When she bent down, the tight waistline of the uniform pants cut off her ability to breathe.
Damn these dress uniforms!
If she was going to be late anyway, there was no harm in looking presentable, at least. No matter how lax the military had become in the five hundred years since the Fall, that casualness did not extend to sloppiness. All pomp and ceremony, no bite.

"It's no big deal. Don't worry. You've got this," she repeated in a half-hearted attempt to calm her nerves. Jana wrapped her clammy hand around the cool metal handle. With one last, loud exhale, she turned the knob and entered the room beyond. The click of the door latch echoed throughout the room briefly, but it was with finality.

Jana's eyes didn’t immediately adjust to the stark contrast of this room from the bright hallway. There was a spotlight trained on a plain metal chair in the otherwise dim space. Darkness huddled in corners and stretched up the walls, clinging to them so Jana couldn't discern what the room itself actually looked like.

Is this what being in a cave is like?
The heels of her shoes clicked rhythmically on the floor as Jana marched with fake confidence to her place. The hairs on her arms stood on end from the chilly air, but Jana was hit by a blast of hot air as she reached the steel chair. Heart racing, she stood in front of it at attention and saluted crisply.

"Lieutenant Jana Darren, serial number 2-2-7-8-4-3-6, reporting as ordered." After a long period of silence, her heart sank. Nausea clutched at her.

"Take your seat, Lieutenant." Though she couldn't see his face, Jana knew from the gentle but firm voice that it was Major Davis speaking. Hearings required five board members, and Jana now knew at least one of them would be on her side. Dropping the salute, Jana took her seat with feet flat on the floor.
Keep your back straight. Don't let it touch the chair. Chin up, eyes straight ahead...don't look around, don't slouch, don't fidget. Stupid light.
She did her best not to squint. Her brown eyes watered from the too-bright light beating down on her. Jana's nose began to wrinkle in discomfort.
Not very professional.

"Miss Darren, you are four minutes and twenty-two seconds late." Was that disappointment she detected in his voice?

"No excuse, sir." Jana struggled to keep an even tone.

"Well, Lieutenant, as you know we are here to determine your eligibility for transfer to S-311M to be trained as a special team member." Lt. Colonel Buchannan had a voice like a broken whistle. Eleven years ago when Jana herself was a cadet, the woman was just a squad commander at the Academy.

Jana never forgot a person, even if she wanted to.

"Yes ma'am," said Jana more confidently than she felt.

"Why the desire to transfer?" It was another voice, and Jana was unfamiliar with the rock-grinding rasp of his tone.

"I wish to become a member of the S-311M CHAOS Team."

"The CHAOS Team? Excuse me Lieutenant, but as I was told, you are already part of the humanities agency here at S-17M. Why should we transfer you to 311?"

Beads of sweat formed at the nape of her neck from the heat of the spotlight, sticky and uncomfortable. Only inches away the respite of wonderful, cool darkness waited.
Torture.

"Sir, with all due respect, whilst the humanities and leadership training programs I have participated in here at S-17 have been exemplary, I have little field training. The operations here are limited to on-base. I want to expand my capabilities with field experience. I want to make a difference, sir. I want to help people." It was as honest an answer as she could give.

"I see." He paused before adding with amusement, "Don't we all."

"You seem to have done your homework on the matter. CHAOS is widely regarded as the best Tact Ops in the military," said Buchannan with a hint of approval. Her voice was irritating Jana, high pitched and wheezing. She could wheeze the entirety of Beethoven's Fourth and Jana wouldn’t care, as long as the commander was on her side.

"Let's be honest here, Miss Darren. You want to help people and that's very...
noble
. But I feel there's some ulterior motive."

"S-sir?"

"Miss Darren, two months ago you were given the privilege of S-17 ambassador as well as the opportunity to teach at the academy, and you rejected the offer. Now you want to transfer.
Why?”

Jana refused to be intimidated. She took a moment to regain her composure before continuing. "Sir, I didn't want to go back there. I learned a lot, yes. But please understand...I was in a difficult position at the academy." Her voice wavered. Hands shaking, Jana dug her nails into her palms. "This station is the only one I've lived in since I came to the military. I..."
Here goes nothing. He asked for it, give it to him.

"I never asked for this. I didn't have the choice, and for a long time I was content to go about my days without question. I knew there was nothing I could do about it. But I'm here, and I'm not going to sit back and watch my life pass by. They treat me differently because of my age, and I'm tired of it. I'm as capable as anyone here, and I want to transfer because I want a fresh start. I don't want to constantly be followed by what happened to me." It wasn't until she finished speaking that Jana realized how angry she was.

Silence filled the room. The most she could hope for was that they appreciate her honesty. Right now Jana wanted to rip off the dreadful jacket and fling herself into the glorious cold with her cheek pressed against the metal floor.

What she didn't want was their pity.

"What makes you think you're qualified for this undertaking?" The sympathy in the third man's voice bled through his words. "I'm concerned by your previous answer. Is the
job
really what you want?" His voice sounded familiar now; she'd heard it somewhere before.

A thousand answers flitted through her mind, none of them adequate. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, Major Davis interjected. "It's true, Jana's early enrollment to the academy was unprecedented, but she maintained top of her class. I didn't expect to have to remind any of you of
that!
"

Indeed.
Her admittance broke protocol and caused quite a fuss. There were those among the leadership that didn't agree. They couldn't argue with Senator Darren's decision, but that didn't require them to heed her every whim, either.

"She has worked under my supervision since her graduation. Her answers here have come as no shock to me, but I can assure you all she is more than capable. There is no one I would recommend higher for this."

For the first time since the start of the hearing, another man spoke up. "Lieutenant, as a member of the Central Humanities Agency of S-311M, you need to make life or death decisions concerning your team. Do you think you are up to the challenge?"

"Once again, with all due respect sir, and if you will allow me to speak frankly, I don't believe anyone can ever truly be ready for something like that before they experience it firsthand. Anyone who is foolish or cocky enough to think they are ready to make those decisions is going to get people killed. I'd like to think I'm the right person for this. I can assure you that everyone vying for this position believes the same thing, even if it's not true. But I do promise you that
I
am ready. I want this." Jana bit her tongue, literally. The tang of blood filled her mouth, but she might already have gone too far.

Her time was reaching its end, she could feel it. If she hadn't convinced them by now, it was never meant to be. It would be nice to get out of the itchy monstrosity they passed off as a uniform. Jana would have stayed under the blistering spotlight wearing three uniforms and a blanket until she passed out from heat exhaustion to prove how much she wanted this.

The review panel whispered amongst themselves for a few moments. "Lieutenant Jana Darren, it is the will of this review, in the case of your admission to the Central Humanities Agency of Military Station 311, that you be granted the requested transfer. Effective immediately, you are no longer a sanctioned officer of Station 17. Congratulations, and good luck in your new assignment."

Jana caught Major Davis on his way to his office. Calling his name, she jogged awkwardly in her unruly uniform to catch up to him. He stopped and turned, shuffling the folder in his grasp to his other hand.

"Sir, may I speak with you for a minute?"

"Of course. We can talk in my office."

As they turned down the administration wing, Jana peered out at the familiar strawberry daiquiri mottled planet and wondered what the new station's planet would be like.

"So why were you late? That's not like you."

"My apologies, sir. I misplaced my dress cover," she said, pointing to the blue cap.

"Where was it this time?"

"In the showers," she grumbled.

He sighed and shook his head at her, "How did it end up there?"

"You've got me. I'm just lucky I found it. You remember what happened to the last one."

Major Davis nodded solemnly. "May it rest in peace." He swiped his identification card and held the door open for her. "You know," he smirked. "At least this one didn't get you stuck in the door to the incinerator."

Jana wagged a finger at him, "That's because I didn't give it the chance! These little devils will be the end of me, mark my words!" In the center of the office was a mahogany desk with a big chair behind it. Wood was a rarity, and having it denoted authority. Countless hours had been spent in the overstuffed armchair in the corner next to the brass lamp, reading quietly while the Major worked. On the wall behind the desk was a map of the galaxy that, if you watched carefully, revolved slowly. The room was quiet, peaceful. It held no indication of the hustle and bustle of the military station outside its confines.

"I just want to thank you for everything you've done," she said. "It means everything to me."

"It's the least I could do. Besides, if I hadn't volunteered for the committee, how would they have remembered how famous my daughter is?" An impish grin crossed his face. Jana wasn't sure he realized what he'd just said, and couldn't find the words to express her gratitude.

"Well I can never repay you for it. I could never have gotten this far without you." She meant every word.

Her superior waved it off. "It's nothing. I just want one thing from you..." he trailed off, smile fading. The lines around his eyes when he smiled warmed her heart. He was the kindest person she'd ever known.

"What is it?"

"Promise me you'll come back to visit after you've settled in," pleaded the older man. He was a large man, particularly in comparison with her tiny frame. She loved him, and he'd always made her feel safe and cared for.

"I will. In my eyes, you've always been my father." Jana's own expression turned somber.

He cleared his throat. "That's enough. No need to get emotional." He was belying his own words, but it wasn't the time to point it out. "You'd better get packed! You only have a few hours before your transport."

Jana nodded, smiling.
Daughter.
Instead of closing the door behind her, she turned to him and asked, "Have you ever had children, sir?" Not once in all the time she'd known him had they talked about family.

She always assumed it was for her benefit.

For a long moment he didn't answer, and Jana took another step out of the office. "A son," he responded softly, "but we had a falling out years ago. We haven't spoken since."

"I'm sorry.” Her heart was heavy. "He didn't know what he was missing out on."

Daughter
. No matter how many times it echoed in her mind, the word sounded foreign. The longer she dwelled on it, the more obscure it became. Eventually she began to doubt herself that it was a word at all.

Jana danced around the room humming to her own tune, tossing things in the various suitcases strewn about. She had few pictures, but a great many books. Some had plastic pages, some synthetic paper, and only a handful of wood-pulp volumes. At a young age she'd reveled in the escape that books offered an otherwise smothered child.

Jana frowned, eyes shifting between the suitcase on the floor and the mountain of awards on the bed. The junk only got in the way, but it was still a reminder of how far she'd come. A heap of plaques and trophies marked each step of her journey so far, starting with early admission to the academy at age twelve.

People liked to bring that up a lot. That's what she got for having a senator for a father. That, and the faint white scar that ran the width of her abdomen. She grabbed the awards by the armful and piled them into the bags.
Almost done.
Just as she was snapping the last latch closed, the bedroom door whirred open.

"My, my, isn't this an interesting sight?"

"Shut up, Joey," she grunted and hopped off the luggage to hug him. More than a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier, they made quite the spectacle.

"So you're leaving me, huh?" Going on to bigger and better things, all that jazz?"
Amazing how fast news travels.             

"You know it's not like that." Jana wrung her hands together.

Joe just smiled as he plopped himself on her bed. "Aw, honey, I was kidding. Here, I've brought you something." A small square package in bright paper flew across the room to her. Jana grimaced. Joe had compelled her to accept his presents over the years, though she hated the guilt of receiving gifts of any kind. He had once gone so far as to steal her card key and seal it in a puzzle ball. Lured to the academy level of the station and left stranded, unable to access the upper floors, Jana had no choice but to accept his
gift.

In retaliation to that little stunt, she'd taken him to one of the simulator levels of the station and barred the door behind him. For six hours, Joey was subject to what Jana now referred to as "Operation Mousetrap". The battle raged from there, finally ending when the station director put his foot down. He came to fetch a report from Joe's office, blissfully unaware of the tidal wave of polyfoam waiting on the other side of the door. When confronted, Jana tried arguing that he was a casualty of a long and bitter conflict.

It didn't work.

Shaking the parcel didn't give any clues. "What is it?"

"Open it and find out. Joey grinned. Jana sat cross-legged on the floor, gift in hand.

"Do you know who was at the hearing today?" he asked coyly.

"David, Buchannan, and three men I didn't know," she rattled off distractedly, still trying to rip off the giftwrap. "How much wrapping did you put on this thing?" she asked, now using her teeth to tear it open.

"Enough to keep you busy for a while. Do you want to know who else was there?"

Jana froze and looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "
You
know who else was at my hearing?"

"May-be," he toyed in a singsong voice. Jana lunged at him with a menacing growl, trying to land a punch. She couldn't hurt him if she wanted to--at least not physically. The battle was pathetically short-lived. Seconds later, he held both Jana’s wrists behind her back, one-handed. The other was wagging a finger in her face.

"Okay," she breathed, blowing stray bangs from her eyes. "Who else?"

"General Kevin Montle."

"The commander of S-17," Jana nodded. That was expected.

"And there was Colonel Ryan Vacero, the head of the CHAOS team."

"And the third?"

"One of the Inner Councilmen of the government."

The members of the Inner Council took great pains to conceal their identities. No one, aside from the other members, knew their identities, only that they were senators. For their decisions, they used a man named Robert Hamilton as the face and voice of the government. In a way, that made him more powerful than they were.

"Wha--oh my God!"

"You don't believe in God."

"Well, someday I might," Jana replied evenly. "Why was a Councilman there? That's not normal procedure."

"Well it's not every day the youngest graduate of the Academy ever--not to mention the best looking--asks for a transfer."

Going back to the half-unwrapped package on the floor, Jana tore into it again. It took a few seconds, but she finally pried it open.

"Joey, it's wonderful!" A picture. Specifically, a picture of the two of them hugging, both smiling warmly at the camera. It was old, taken while Jana was still a cadet.

"I know it's your favorite picture of us. I thought you should have it."

"Thank you so much..." The photo was imprinted into the glass, the background a moving scene of windswept trees and fluttering orange leaves; totally fabricated of course. It was taken on the simulator level. No one had been allowed to set foot on-planet since the government came to power five hundred years ago.

When Jana boarded the transport, Joe was there to see her off. He was serious now. "I had better hear from you soon. Let me know how things are going, okay?"

"Of course."

One of the crew loaded her luggage onto a dolly and wheeled it to the ship. Jana tried to put on a brave face. Scanning the docking bay, Jana realized Major Davis was absent.
This would be so much harder if he were here. He probably knew that.

At 311, she would be able to start all over, and that was something Jana desperately needed.