Teased to Death (Misty Newman 1) (13 page)

"To buy a present—" I began again.

"Lies." The man said.

I put a hand on my hip. I was kind of up to my limit with his attitude. "Well, then. Are you a mind reader? Because how do you know I'm not here to buy a book for my sister?"

Donna's mouth fell open.

I'm sorry
, I mouthed to her.

"I
know
, because you're not one of the Society. I'm familiar with every individual who appreciates these sacred treasures in our town," he said.

I glanced around at the books, the
treasures
.

"Also, nobody who knows anything about these treasures would call them
books
. Or handle them so carelessly." The man stepped forward and lowered his hood. He cast a disgusted look at Donna.

Donna glanced in my direction, but I was much too distracted by the sight of the man standing before me. Not only did I know him, but I was pretty sure everyone in the town knew him as well.

"Father Olaf?" I asked.

The priest looked mildly annoyed. But even if I hadn't recognized him, the white collar would have given him away. "Yes. Misty. Donna, hello."

"Why did you creep up on us like that?" Donna asked. "Especially if you knew it was us? I mean, I volunteered at the bake sale yesterday, and I've got three kids in the parish school."

"What brings you here?" he asked.

"What brings
you
here?" Donna asked. "And why are you dressed like that? It's a bit…different than your normal robes."

"I'm Merlin." He shifted his eyes, seemingly a bit miffed. "I'm a bit disheartened you can't tell."

"I'm sorry. We definitely should have guessed. Your costume is fantastic," I said.

He looked mildly appeased.

"Why are you dressed as Merlin though?" Donna asked. "What is this place?"

"You should know. You found it. Speaking of—who told you about this place? It's not broadcast in the newspapers, available on the internet, or spoken about by anyone not in the Society."

"I uh…heard it through the grapevine," I said. "I don't really remember."

"Someone is spreading our secrets?" Merlin—or Father Olaf—took a step in my direction.

Reflexively, I took a step back. "I don't think they were purposefully spreading the word. I asked a bit, and it seemed like…uh, hearsay. Nobody really knew much about this place."

"
Who
is spreading our secrets?"

"Why does it matter?" I asked. "If it's just a comic book store, why does it have to be a secret? Wouldn't you want more people to know about it? Then maybe you'd have more customers."

"It is
not
'just' a comic book store!" Father Olaf raised his voice, speaking in a tone I'd never heard him use at church before. Normally mild-tempered and rather monotone, his inflection today was passionate and energized.

"Aha!" I pointed a finger in his direction. "If it's not
just
a comic book store, then what is it?"

Father Olaf stumbled over his words. "It's a special space for members who appreciate the art of—"

"Have you seen the girls for tonight?" Another familiar voice erupted behind Father Olaf.

Father Olaf appeared immediately agitated. "Quiet. Silence, we have outsiders in the house—"

"Oh, are
you
the girls for tonight?" None other than Alfie appeared behind Merlin, partially shielded due to a nearly frantic Merlin trying to block Alfie's view. Which is probably why the latter didn't recognize us upon first glimpse.

"No, they're—" Merlin began.

Alfie the Cop gasped. "Why aren't you wearing your masks?"

I looked to Donna, who looked as bewildered as I felt. What did the town priest and Alfie the Cop have in common? I couldn't think of a single reason why the two would voluntarily be in the same room except for Christmas Mass. Let alone a musty comic book room.

"They're
not
who you're looking for," Merlin said. It was no use. Alfie bobbed up and down behind him, determined to get a glance at the only customers in the place. They probably didn't see
outsiders
around here too much, based upon how the two were acting.

"Hi, Alfie," I called out, bowing my head and raising a hand in his direction. "It's me."

With a dejected grimace, Merlin dropped his arms, the majestic purple robe dropping to his side.

"Misty? I had no idea you were into cosplay." Alfie stepped around Merlin, his body still in the shadows. To my dismay, his eye held a curious gleam I'd never seen before. "That's very…cool."

"Cosplay?" Donna asked, looking in my direction.

"Don't look at me. I don't even know what that means."

"Costume play," Donna said.

"To the layperson, maybe." Alfie tossed a judgmental glance to Donna. "To
outsiders
like you, I suppose."

"Please, feel free to help me understand what it means then…to an
insider
." I pulled out two chairs at the sparse desk in the center of the room, taking a seat on the first and patting the second for Alfie.

"Not an
insider
." Alfie shook his head sadly. "To the Society."

"The correct term is
kospure
, from Japan," Merlin said.

Alfie nodded. "Let me explain."

He moved forward from the shadow cast by Father Olaf's cape, and to my surprise—and sadness—Alfie was dressed in nothing more than a pair of leggings so tight I feared it was bad for his circulation. A Superman cape hugged his very white, very flabby chest, which was on full display.

I immediately regretted my decision to offer the chair next to me, as Alfie strode confidently into the room, puffing out his chest like an excited little penguin who'd consumed enough food to hibernate for a year.

"Here at the Society, we are avid fans of comics, obviously. But in addition to an appreciation for the physical books, we are
more
than that. We transcend the pages. We bring the characters to life." Alfie proudly pointed to his chest, standing all too close to me, while Merlin tried to disappear in the background. "Superman, you see?"

"I see," I said, wishing I hadn't. I was tempted to shield my eyes, but I needed information, and I didn't want to risk offending the proud penguin who had answers to the questions I needed to ask. "And Father Olaf here, he's part of the Society too?"

"If you mean Merlin, then yes." Alfie gave a smug nod at Father Olaf, who looked as if he would like to disappear into his robe and make this event go away forever. At least from our memories.

"Who else is a part of this Society?" I asked.

"That's classified information," Merlin spoke up from the shadows. "You never told us why you're here."

"On that note, where were
you
tonight between four and eight p.m.?" I asked, my eyes narrowed at Alfie. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten to ask immediately, but in my defense, I'd been a little distracted by the neon-red Speedo he was wearing. The amount of skin showing was very unnecessary.

"What does it mean to you?" Alfie stuck up his nose a bit. "I was at work."

"Were you?" I raised my eyebrow. "Because someone mentioned that you didn't answer a call this afternoon, so…you might want to reconsider your explanation before the cops come talking to you."

"I
am
the cops." Alfie jutted his chin even further out, but I saw his eyes shift nervously to Father Olaf. "Why would they need to talk to me about anything? And especially something you'd know about before me?"

"They'll be talking to you about a break-in at my house." I crossed my arms. "If you don't have a more solid alibi by the time the cops show up, you'll be in a wee bit of trouble, I might think."

"But it wasn't me. Why would I break into your house? Why would you even
think
that?"

I shrugged. "I've been wondering the same thing. But believe me when I say there's already enough evidence to justify asking you a few questions. And don't get any ideas—someone already knows about it, just in case something else should happen to me in the meantime. Someone who can
do
something about it."

"It wasn't me," Alfie said, softer this time.

"All right, fine." I stood up. "Donna, he doesn't want to talk. Let's hit the road."

"But what about…" She paused, giving me googly eyes. I knew that meant "what about the questions we came here to ask?" I shook my head. I had a new, better idea. And it all revolved around Alfie thinking that the main reason I'd come here was to get his alibi and give him a warning.

"I've said all I had to say." I gave Donna a look that said "let's go," and I started walking toward the door.

"Wait," Alfie said, raising a hand. "I was here. I promise you. Don't tell anyone—he can vouch for me." Alfie nodded at Merlin, who bowed his head as if he was wishing for the zillionth time he'd stayed at home today.

I spun slowly back to face Alfie. "You were here…when you were supposed to be working?"

Alfie looked miserable, and I almost felt bad. Maybe I'd ease up on him after getting the info I needed. "Please don't say anything. I could get in serious trouble."

"Yes, you could." I nodded solemnly. "Why were you here?"

"This costume doesn't make itself." Alfie glanced down at his Superman attire.

He was right. It looked like a five-year-old might have crafted it. At least Merlin's robe looked like it was made from some high-quality fabrics.

"Donna. Phone," I whispered. It was loud enough that I was certain everyone in the room could hear me.

"What do you need a phone for?" Alfie stared at the iPhone Donna handed over, as if it were a bomb instead of a pink-cased cell.

"What do you think I need it for?" I asked, raising it as if I were about to dial a number. What Alfie couldn't see, was that the lock screen was still on, and I could only access the emergency dial and the camera. I chose the latter. It'd probably be faster.

"Don't call, please," Alfie pleaded. "I'll help you. Tell me what you need."

I hesitated, first taking a moment to snap a picture. I'd tried to be subtle, but failed miserably. The flash exploded brightly, and Merlin bent in half, shielding his eyes with his robe sleeves.

"What was that for?" Alfie asked.

"Insurance." I glanced down at the picture of Superman. It would do. It would
more
than do. "You're right. I need information. You can help, or…"

Alfie stared in horror as I waggled the phone back and forth. "You wouldn't."

"It's already in the cloud, so don't you dare try to steal this phone. It'll only make things worse." It was a lie. I didn't have access to any sort of cloud, but he didn't need to know. "Plus, it doesn't explain why you didn't answer a call this afternoon
or
where you were when my house was broken into today."

"Then why do you need the photo? My life is ruined either way. If I don't have an alibi, everyone will assume I broke into your house—you don't even have anything to steal! If I tell everyone where I was, I'm the weirdo who's into cosplay. Little Lake doesn't understand my type. My life is over."

"But just to be clear, I do have
some
stuff to steal," I added.

Both Alfie and Donna looked at me.

"All right, all right," I said, raising my hands. "I don't. But I understand what you mean when you say Little Lake doesn't understand your type. Do you think it was easy trying to start up my burlesque studio here?"

Alfie fell silent.

"I know how it is to be different," I said softly. I shook my head. "I couldn't even advertise my class in the church bulletin. But listen, Alfie. I don't want to get you in trouble. You help me, and I help get you out of this mess. No blackmail. No alibi. It just goes away."

"How?" he wailed.

I thought for a moment, and even Merlin leaned in a bit closer, his pointy nose pretending not to be paying attention, but his ears clearly listening.

"I thought it was you breaking into my house because I caught you in my office earlier, and you had on this huge backpack. Plus, my fishnet drawer was all askew. When I chased someone away from my home later the same night, it was the logical conclusion to draw. Especially when the intruder drove a cop car away from the scene. He didn't touch anything except for my fishnets again."

Alfie hung his head. "I
know
that I didn't do it, and it
still
looks bad for me from the outside."

"I will vouch for your alibi and not tell anyone the exact details of it. Your name won't be brought up in conjunction with the burglary anymore if you can give me some info on Anthony Jenkins." I put my hands on my hips. "No info, and this picture goes out to Donna's thousand Facebook friends."