Tell Me I'm Dreamin' (35 page)

“You know better than I do.”

“What do you mean?” Nadine took a step back when she became aware of the distant look in Ulysses' eyes.

“Just what I said. You know what happened last night better than I do.” His voice was cold.

“But you were there in the cave beside me,” Nadine persisted, all the more confused by Ulysses' attitude. “You were translating the cl—”

Ulysses narrowed his eyes as if he could not believe what she was saying. “Alright. If that is where you want to begin, that is fine with me.” Suddenly, he seemed detached. “I think I passed out from all the smoke. Beyond that, I do not remember a thing. But all that matters to me is, it is over, and Sovereign is safe and sound.”, He paused. “Your work is done, Nadine. The game is over. It may not have ended the way you thought it would, but it is still over.”

Nadine looked down at the floor. Ulysses' concern about Sovereign and not her welfare hurt. She tried to follow her first train of thought. The smoke. That's right. So I must have passed out as well. Of course that's what happened. We weren't accustomed to the smoke like the cliff dwellers, and we must have passed out in the middle of the ceremony and the cliff dwellers brought us back to Sovereign. Nadine put her hand up to the side of her face. So I could not have done whatever the cliff dwellers had expected me to do. Her breath trembled as she sighed. I guess it was all for the best, and it proves I am not the fulfiller of their legend. I am not connected with Lenora, the bringer of light. Nadine felt as if something had been taken away from her. Some of the magic that had transformed her on the island of Eros into the woman she believed herself to be.

She looked back up into Ulysses' face. What did he mean, the game was over? For a moment Nadine thought she saw the same look on his face that she had seen the night before in the cliff dwellers' cave. Did she disgust him? The thought struck cold fear in her heart. Is that how he really felt? Had the night they shared together, her first and only night of making love, been part of a bizarre game?

All of a sudden Nadine noticed how Ulysses stood so close to her, but he felt so far away. Not wanting to believe it, she looked deep into his eyes. She searched for the love she hoped would be there. But there was none. None at all.

Nadine covered her mouth with her hands. Had Ulysses made love to her on a whim? Had he taken the virginity she had offered so willingly, knowing it was no more than a one-night stand? The doubts that Nadine had lived with all her life descended on her with fervor. Had she fooled herself into believing that he loved her, an over-the-hill, inexperienced, twenty-six-year-old ex-virgin from America, looking for substantiation of her womanhood and self-worth in a foreign land?

Nadine tucked the robe in around her body. She felt hurt and angry, but most of all, she was tired. Perhaps, if she felt so inclined, she could have fought against his hatred. At least she would have known he had some kind of feeling for her. But from the way he looked at her it was obvious she meant nothing to him. It had all been a game. One that her fanciful imagination had bought into. One that was almost as far-fetched as the Legend of Lenora.

“‘This is your last day,” Ulysses began, “you will be leaving sometime this morning.” It was more of a statement than a question.

A heavy feeling pressed against Nadine's chest as she answered, “Yes, I will.” It was such an indifferent way for the first man she ever made love to, to say good-bye. With those words, what they had shared had been reduced to nothing, and to think she had put herself in jeopardy to save Sovereign because she loved Ulysses the only way she knew how, with all of her.

There were so many things she could have said; instead Nadine stood silently in front of him, feeling a medley of things. Finally, acceptance etched itself on her face that was suddenly older.

“From what I understand, your friends, Gloria and Larry, left a message for you last night before they left. They said if you plan to leave Barbados for the States tonight, the three of you can fly back together.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes.” The word hung in the air between them.

Nadine cleared her throat as the pain inside nearly took her breath away. But she would not give Ulysses the pleasure of seeing her pain. He had stolen her love but he would not steal her pride too.

Of its own volition, love intertwined with hurt surfaced in Ulysses' eyes. He looked down quickly to conceal them. When he was in control again he raised his head and focused on Nadine's face. “Good-bye.” The words were a breathy final sound.

It took a concerted effort to control the tremor in her voice. “Good-bye, Ulysses Deane,” Nadine replied as he passed her.

Ulysses could feel her eyes on his back as he walked away. Then he heard her bedroom door close softly. He wondered what Nadine had remembered from the night before; his own memory was limited. But there was one thing that was clear. There was no way for him to forget. Nadine had gone to Basil of her own free will before she ended up in the cliff dwellers' cave. Finding out had nearly torn him apart, but it was best that he knew. It did nothing but substantiate his nagging suspicion that they had been involved all along. Ulysses did not care to focus on how. The bottom line was it meant all the things that had happened between Nadine and him had meant nothing, and whatever Basil had offered her had meant more than the love he had to give.

Ulysses' lips settled in a firm unyielding line. The one time in his adult life he had trusted enough to love, that trust had been blatantly betrayed. He took his hand and pressed hard against his abdomen, detesting the flutter in his stomach that had started the moment he opened the door and found her standing outside, her beautiful eyes filled with confusion and obvious need. But for what? Why had she sought him out? Did she think he might seek revenge against her for siding with the man who sought to take Sovereign away from him? Was the need he saw in her gaze a need to be assured that he loved her so much he would never take any action against her? In his mind there was no reason for Nadine to have come to him at all. It was over. She was safe, and would soon be on her way back to the United States.

Ulysses painfully recalled the moment when he felt himself weakening, and how he had to fight the impulse to take Nadine in his arms and demand to know why she had betrayed him. It was no consolation when he realized, despite all he knew, the love he had for her could not be ignored. But for Ulysses, it was easier to close off the love and the pain. The only place he felt strong was behind an armor of silent pride.

He exited the house through the kitchen, and decided to ignore how Catherine and the cook from Sharpe Hall stopped whispering as he passed by. Ulysses understood that it would be a long time before what happened yesterday was forgotten on Eros, if ever.

Back inside Nadine sighed as she stood looking in the small closet of her room. It was a sound of resignation and resolution. She had no idea when she came to the Caribbean what destiny would send her way. It had sent an awful lot. But Nadine had determined when she boarded the plane to come here, that no matter what she experienced, she would grow as a result of it. At the time she had been thinking about her career. She did not have the courage to acknowledge the small spark of hope that love would find her, but in the end it had.

Eros had been quite a teacher. She had become deeply immersed inside a world of literature and beauty far grander than she had ever imagined. With her own hands she handled priceless novels and art never known to the masses, but would be treasured from now until posterity as the result of her efforts. Nadine had finally experienced the loving touch of a man, one whose emotions ran so deep, even he was afraid of their depths. Ulysses was so much like the works of art that surrounded him; able to be touched physically, but his essence remained a mystery.

It had always been a mystery to Nadine, the feelings that flowed inside artists that enabled them to create works of beauty. Equally mysterious was a man who could tenderly bring her into the knowledge of what it meant to be a woman, yet, a day later, with no remorse allow her to fly away to her country.

Nadine gathered her few belongings together. As she did so, she tried to make peace with herself as well as mentally prepare for the life that lay ahead of her in the States. A life that would seem so different now, because
she
was different. A life that would be . . . different without Ulysses.

Yes, she was tired, drained, and Nadine knew that accepting that Ulysses would no longer be a part of her life was the most important thing in her preparations to leave Eros. Without doing so, with all that had passed on the small mysterious island, she feared she would not have the strength to leave at all.

With her suitcase in hand, Nadine went to Madame Deane's room and knocked on the door. When there was no answer she opened it slightly, and saw that she was sleeping. Even from across the room Nadine was surprised at the rich color of her cheeks and the smoothness of her brow. She was glad to see Ulysses' aunt looking so well, and she bade her a silent good-bye before closing the door.

Nadine's eyes missed nothing as she walked through Sovereign in search of Catherine. She did not want to forget all that she had seen here and experienced. Nadine knew she would not.

“Miss Nadine,” Catherine called from the foyer.

She saw her standing by the statue of doves in flight, a feather duster in her hand. Nadine remembered the first time she entered the room. It was her first night at Sovereign.

“Clarence told me you wanted him to bring the cart out front. Are you leaving already?”

“Yes, Catherine.” She looked at the woman she had come to know as a friend. “It's time for me to go. Tell madame good-bye for me, would you?”

Catherine nodded, causing her head wrap to slip forward. “We are going to miss you around here.” Her eyes were shinier than usual. “Things will not seem the same. They already are not with Salinah killing Basil.”

“Salinah?” Nadine questioned. Catherine's words nudged hazy memories surrounding the events of the night before. An image of Basil lying near the road to the settlement surfaced.

“She is a woman who lives in the settlement on the edge of Sharpe Hall. It seems she paid him back for some things he has been doing for years,” she sniffed. “Not that anyone deserves to die like that.”

“My God.” Nadine covered her eyes with her hand.

“I do not mean to upset you before you leave, Miss Nadine,” Catherine apologized. “There is some good news. Madame Deane appears to have gotten better overnight.”

“Is that right?” Nadine replied, mentally switching tracks. “Yes. As a matter of fact she looked much better. I went to say good-bye to her before I came looking for you,” Nadine explained, “but she was asleep.”

“She is much better,” Catherine chimed in. “It is like a miracle.”

They became silent.

“Madame says your coming to Eros had a lot to do with it,” Catherine said softly, moving her hands as if she did not know what to do with them.

“I don't know about that, Catherine,” Nadine protested before the housekeeper hurried on.

“She says things will never be the same on Eros. I, along with many others, believe that.”

A lump materialized in Nadine's throat. She knew her stay on Eros had vastly changed her life.

“We are all glad that you came,” Catherine said as Clarence opened the door. He stood looking at them, tugging on the bill of his cap.

“You take care of yourself.” Catherine gave Nadine a hug. “I wish things had worked out between you and Master Ulysses. They should have, you know,” she added before hurrying into the courtyard.

Nadine rode beside Clarence in silence. Although she was deep in thought she could feel him looking at her from time to time. The cart jolted as they hit a particularly rough part of the path.

“Miss Nadine,” Clarence said, his voice raspy. Hesitant, he cleared his throat as if he feared he might be interrupting her thoughts.

“Yes.” Nadine looked at Clarence's deeply creased face, and realized of all the people who lived at Sovereign, Clarence was the one she knew the least about.

“We all will miss you when you are gone.”

“I'll miss you all as well, Clarence.”

“But you leave at a good time,” he continued to Nadine's surprise. “There will be much sadness on Eros; both Basil Sharpe and Melanie are gone.”

“Basil and Melanie?” Nadine turned toward him, shocked by his including Melanie. “Catherine told me about the woman in the settlement being responsible for Basil's death, but what do you mean that Melanie is gone?”

“One of the workers at Sharpe Hall just told me about it when I was bringing the cart around.” He tightened the reins on the donkey. “It seems Cassandra found Rodney on the other side of the island late last night, near the edge of a cliff. He had injured his head, but he did not know how. He told her he could not remember a thing.” Clarence adjusted his cap. “He said Melanie was with him when he went out last night, but Cassandra said she never saw her. They are searching for her now.” He turned the cart onto the paved road of the business district. “They fear she may have fallen over the cliff and her body has been washed out into the ocean.”

“Poor Melanie!” Nadine declared. She shivered as she thought of it.

“It is sad, but the Sharpes' lives have always been full of problems.” Clarence looked at her from beneath shaggy eyebrows. “So maybe their deaths are not so bad for the rest of the island.”

It was a strange thing to say, and Nadine felt as if Clarence knew more than he had been given credit for. From that moment on they traveled toward the wharf in contemplative silence. Clarence remained with Nadine until the ferry disembarked for Barbados.

Chapter
31