Tempered Hearts (Hearts of Valentia Book 1) (13 page)

He had glimpsed beyond that façade. He’d heard the music of her laughter.

Perhaps someday, he would earn more than those small glances.

Chapter 13

Arden

“Stars, I think I’m going to be sick,” Arden said as she rushed to the bathing room, hand over her mouth.

Elena and Paitra were on her heels, one removing her tiara, the other sweeping up her hair as she leaned over the water basin and heaved. Gripping the edges of the small table, she kept her eyes pinched shut, fighting back another wave of nausea.

It was a battle she didn’t win.

Neither did she win the other two.

Paitra rubbed her back in slow, gentle circles as she talked her down. She was going to be all right. She could get through it. Soon, life would fall into a predictable rhythm and it wouldn’t overwhelm her anymore.

“There you go,” Elena offered a warm wet cloth, dabbing at Arden’s face when she didn’t take it. “It’s over now. You made it. See? Not a trip or a mistake anywhere in sight.”

She groaned and took the cloth, retreating back to her bedroom. “All I see is one big mistake, Elena. What are they thinking, making me queen? I’m falling apart over a tiara. How will I possibly handle a crown?”

Elena followed her out while Paitra saw to the mess, wonderful woman she was. “You’ll handle it fine. It’ll be scary at first, but you’re quick to adjust and adapt.”

She flopped back on the bed, staring up at the cream-colored canopy. “Sugar shortages and picking up a few medical skills are one thing. Helping oversee a country? That’s worlds away. Gods know what’ll happen if I fail. People could live or die by my word. That isn’t a responsibility I want.”

“Like it or not, it’s your reality now,” Paitra said, striding across the room. She stopped in front of the bed. “Sit up.”

“I can’t. I’m ill.”

“Stop being so obstinate. Sit.”

Groaning, Arden pushed herself up to have a cup thrust in her face.

“Drink that.”

She wrinkled her nose at the thick, pungent smell of the liquid. “Ew. No.”

“It’ll calm your nerves and settle your stomach. Don’t be a child.”

Making a face of disgust, she took the cup. She turned from it to take a deep breath before guzzling it as fast as she could, gagging on the bitter, roasted taste of the brew. “Gods. What was in that awful stuff?”

Her lips turned up in a wry grin. “You don’t want to know.”

“We do have to fix you up again, you realize,” Elena said, already heading for the dressing room. “You’ll be expected at the reception in less than an hour.”

Arden smacked her lips, hoping to get the taste out of her mouth. “Do you think every day will be like this, with the constant changing of clothes and hair and all this nonsense? It exhausts me. I don’t know how either of you stand it.”

“It’s better work than some other alternatives,” Paitra said, prodding her to the other room to get ready.

An hour later, she stood before the full-length mirror, amazed she wasn’t back at the basin throwing up Paitra’s tonic. She wasn’t the same girl she’d been a year ago, that much was clear. The royal blue of House Marillion draped her curves, a silver bustier pushing things into shapes she was sure wasn’t natural.

“Is it…” she frowned at the low, square neckline of her dress. “Are you sure it’s proper to show this much… well, this much me? I’m afraid I’m going to fall out of this thing. Not very princess-like, that.”

Paitra laughed. “None of you is going anywhere as secure as that boning is. And it’s fine. It’s the newest fashion, modeled after the court of Danumbar.”

“I don’t live in Danumbar. I’m the Light of Valentia, remember? This hardly seems appropriate.”

“Well, it’s too late now,” Elena said. “Don’t forget this.”

She lifted up on her toes, positioning the tiara in Arden’s woven tresses. She’d not gotten a chance to study it before, but when she looked at the mirror again, she gasped. A hundred or more glittering amolita crystals gleamed at her from the diadem, the largest teardrop stone in the center holding the perfect star-shaped refraction of light no matter the angle. Eight marquise cut sapphires of the deepest blue sat four to either side along the top row, their color perfectly matching the hue and sheen of her dress. Even her eyes looked a richer shade, as though she were some strange, enchanted creature.

“My lady… Your Highness, I mean, may I tell you something?”

She nodded, mutely staring at her reflection.

Elena squeezed her shoulders. “When I say you’ll do well as queen, it’s not flattery. This tiara, it’s not ordinary. It’s elven-made, enchanted to show a person’s inner strength and beauty, revealing them as they are. I was surprised Duke Ingram used this one, as not all could wear it without consequence, but I think that speaks to the faith he has in you. By all the evidence, that faith is well-placed.”

Arden bit her lip, willing her eyes not to tear up and spoil the cosmetics on her face. Such kind, honest words. Such trust. Did she truly deserve it?

“Enough of that.” Paitra smiled and pulled her away from the mirror. “You mustn’t cry and mess up all our hard work.”

They bustled her out into the hall in time to see her mother emerging from her rooms with someone following behind. Arden froze when she realized who it was, and, completely throwing all propriety to the wind, rushed over to throw herself into her father’s arms.

“Papa! You’re here!”

At first stunned by the display, he relaxed immediately and laughed, hugging her tight. “I tried to get here sooner, love. I’m so sorry I missed the ceremony. Bad weather delayed us two full days.”

“It’s all right. You’re here now.” Seeing her father again, feeling his strong, steady arms around her, she didn’t know how badly she missed him until that moment.

He stepped back to look at her from an arms’ length away. “Arden… you’re a vision. Have I been away so long that you’re an entirely new person?”

Blushing, she shook her head. “Don’t be silly. I’m still the same me I’ve always been.”

His gaze drifted up, eyes that matched her own settling on her tiara. “I can’t imagine a soul better suited to that.”

She waved her hands about, wanting to avoid the topic if at all possible. “Never mind that. How are things in Maer? Were you able to make any progress?”

Her mother sighed and shooed her off down the hall. “Now’s hardly the time to discuss that mess, Arden. People are waiting to see you.”

Relenting, she waited for them to lead the way, but they simply stared expectantly.

“What? Are we waiting for an escort?”

“It’s your lead now, Arden,” her mother said. “Procession by rank.”

With a start, it dawned on her that she was the one to go first, as determined by her new title. “Oh. Of course. Shall we, then?”

Paitra and Elena to either side of her, her parents behind her, they filed through the castle corridors. Music whispered through the halls, growing louder the closer they got to the grand ballroom. Already familiar with the space from the engagement party, Arden’s throat tightened a little, remembering her conversation with Darius that night. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to go in there free of that memory or the lingering hurt, but, like so many other things in her life, how she felt had little to do with anything.

The doors to the ballroom stood wide open, and for a moment she thought she might enter unnoticed. As soon as her foot crossed the threshold, however, eyes turned toward her even before the herald shouted her introduction.

“Light of Valentia, Promised to the Crown, the Princess Arden Tanarien! Accompanying her, Duke Magnus and Duchess Cora of House Tanarien!”

Not allowing her smile to falter, Arden mourned the loss of subtlety from the rest of her days.

As she made her way through, ten steps in, the crowd parted suddenly, all greetings cut off mid-sentence. Surprised, she looked ahead to see Darius walking directly for her, his strides long and full of purpose. He stopped two paces away and bowed to her curtsy, immediately offering his arm. She couldn’t say what, but something in the way he looked at her was different than before. The earthy rings of his hazel eyes were so focused on her face, so intent, she wasn’t at all sure what it meant.

“If you’ll permit me, asahana, may I show you to your seat?”

A fierce blush immediately shot up her neck, heating her all the way to the tips of her hair. Sure as sunrise she was a flushed and blotchy mess at a single word from him. Whispered in private, or where only trusted ears could hear was one thing, but with the guests tuned to their every move…

Swallowing her nerves, she went to set her arm on his, only to have him link them instead. Her feet turned into lead weights, and she looked over at him, blinking up into the light of the chandelier directly behind him. His hair burned like golden fire, and she couldn’t speak at all.

All of it happened in a matter of seconds, but she’d swear to any who asked that a full hour passed before she could move again.

Was it a game? A performance to set her at ease and forget his heart belonged to another? Did he hope she thought his mind changed, his emotions suddenly swayed to her as though all it took was the wind in the right direction? If his love was so easily altered, what trust could she put in him?

His speech at the coronation gave her pause. She hadn’t thought he was particularly fond of teamwork or partnership. If he meant what he said, perhaps he was not the closed off man she thought him to be.

“We should probably talk,” he said, disturbing her thoughts.

“Highness?” The squeak in her voice was positively mortifying, but he’d startled her.

He kept his voice low, the pleasant expression he wore unchanging as they wound their way around the clumps of guests. “As we walk. I don’t think either of us wants to let on how… complicated our situation is. You’re far better at this game than I am, so if you’d grant me a distraction, I’d be in your debt.”

His explanation cleared up her confusion on several levels. Admittedly, she’d been fooled by his outward appearance. “Your Majesty is far better at it than he thinks.”

He shot her a look, but she ignored it, instead taking time to nod at a few people they passed. “I think I deserved that, but perhaps we might speak privately later?”

They reached the head table, and he released her to pull out her chair.

“If you’ll forgive me,” she said as she sat, “I think perhaps tonight I’ll have to pass on that invitation. I prefer not to make a habit of allowing ill-timed conversations to derail me publicly.”

Darius pushed in her chair, taking the opportunity to lean in close. “I want to make amends for that, asahana. I hope you’ll reconsider.”

Despite being upset with him, the word sent a fresh wave of heated blood to her cheeks. Someday she’d find a way to guard herself against it.

Darius

Was it only the effects of the tiara that struck him so powerfully? More than ever, Arden commanded the room without saying a word. Even the color in her cheeks seemed to do her bidding, hitting Darius in the gut when he least expected it. The harder he fought to find her flaws, the more elusive they were. And while he didn’t generally care to upset anyone, he never really gave much consideration to it either way. With her, however, the sudden ice in her tone when he walked her to the table was a constant preoccupation for him all through the meal. No matter what he said or how he asked, she avoided any agreement to see him later. He understood her hesitation while the party was underway, but she didn’t give the impression she wanted to see him at all, never mind after their social obligations were complete.

It was in frustrated tedium that the evening wore on. Arden allowed him one dance, but one with ever-changing partners that gave him no room for headway with her. The night dragged on and on, filled with an endless parade of well-wishers and favor-seekers demanding their attention.

Even if she agreed to it, he couldn’t have stolen her away for a moment’s privacy.

By ten, most guests were either well into their cups or departing. Arden yawned once and her handmaiden, the one from Aerenhall, was at her side. She barely glanced at him while offering to see Arden back to her room, but in the moment his fiancée was occupied with standing and arranging her skirts, the auburn-haired elf looked at him with sincere understanding. In that fleeting space of time, he glimpsed an idea, a hope that perhaps he could gain a co-conspirator in his efforts to win back a measure of trust from Arden. The unspoken conversation vanished in an instant, and the elf left with her charge.

He didn’t linger too long after that. He had too much planning to do in the next few days and couldn’t afford another late night with too much wine. When sleep finally took him, his mind was filled with visions— memories— he tried hard to put behind him. Naya’s violet eyes found him in the fog of his dreams, her voice whispered to him in words he couldn’t understand, and even her laughter danced and dodged him. She would be there one moment, gone the next, her touch lingering with the chill of her absence.

He awoke exhausted, but still determined.

“If we take this route,” Vennic hunched over his desk, tracing chalky lines across the map, “it’s likely the safest way to get to the western stops on the tour. There’s the black shores here, a detour south to the monuments of Galanor Ridge, then northwest a day to Ogtern, and then…”

At his pause, Darius knew he came to the conclusion he’d reached two days prior. “The Ansere’th. Yes, I know. It’s all right to mention it in my presence.”

“You’re certain you want to go there? We could double back and visit the Jorai’i instead.”

Darius ran a hand through his hair, pushing the strands into chaotic ruffles. “It needs to be done, Vennic. I can’t avoid it forever, and Arden will want to see the turning of the Blighted Sands. This whole trip is meant to be a way to move forward. I can’t do that if I’m clinging to the past. Besides, last you told me, Naya chose a different path, one that brought her outside her tribe. Likely as not, she wouldn’t be there.”

Vennic straightened and crossed his arms, dubious. “Are you willing to risk it if she is? It could spell disaster for not only the trip, but your marriage as well.”

“I keep my vows when I give them.” It was mildly insulting Vennic thought him so weak. “Naya and I agreed to end it, and we have. Nothing will change.”