Although Rand could have gone back to work at his office building in downtown Boise when the cast came off, he opted to take a few days off. “To work on my leg,” he said, when his comptroller called.
Both of them avoided talking about the time they would have to join the rest of the world. Except for Rand’s trip to the doctor, and a trip to the grocery store, they hadn’t left the house. Rand slapped together sandwiches for lunch and Haley cooked gourmet meals at night. They swam, talked, played card games, and made love, abiding by an unspoken agreement not to let anything else intrude on their time together. She hadn’t mentioned her plans for the catering business, which would certainly seem like small potatoes to him.
On Sunday, Elizabeth and Craig had shown up to report on their house hunting expedition. Monday, Rand’s pregnant secretary called to request a permanent leave of absence, and Haley’s boss had called a few times checking on billing hours. Other than those few instances, they had been alone, cocooned in the cozy warmth of their own making, playing house.
Swearing softly, Rand flexed his foot five times then relaxed the muscles. Although the doctor assured him the bones had healed nicely, the leg still hurt like hell. But it was getting better. He was impatient with the whole invalid bit. He was grateful the unwieldy plaster cast was off. He could shower now without worrying about the damn thing getting wet. Suddenly his body tightened as he remembered what else he’d been able to do with the cast off.
Last night, after he had finally convinced Haley to shed her suit and swim naked with him, their lovemaking in the shallow end of the pool had generated enough heat to cause a nuclear meltdown. She’d been shy about swimming naked, and when he rose over her in the pool and began kissing his way down the slick wet surface of her body, she tensed.
He paused, lifting his head to look at her. She stared back at him, eyes large, hesitant.
“If you want me to stop...?”
She shook her head. “Don’t stop. I want this. I want everything.”
He forced himself to move slowly, gently placing his hands under her in the water and lifting her to his mouth. She had cried out and climaxed almost immediately, then collapsed bonelessly against him. As he slid into her, he could feel the residual aftershocks of her release, and it triggered his own. With a muffled shout, he went over the edge, clutching her as she moaned his name and climaxed again.
Pleasure hung over them in the night air as they lay side by side in the gently undulating water, holding hands. Their backsides rested on the bottom step of the pool. He raised her hand and kissed her fingers, one at a time. Her uninhibited response had shaken him to his core. He felt powerful and humble at the same time, content to drift with her in the water without talking.
He believed he would share everything with Angela, and a part of him had been nearly destroyed by the break up. But it had never been like this. When Haley glanced over at him and smiled a sweet, sleepy smile, all his innate suspicion of women dissolved into simple peace. He kissed her tenderly, lovingly. He’d wanted to tell her how she made him feel, but the words scared the hell out of him. He wasn’t ready to say the words.
He wanted Haley. He would even admit that he needed her. Wanting, needing he could handle. They were like trips on a pleasure cruise—standard affair benefits. But love was a cross-country hike through dangerous, unmarked terrain. You needed stamina and fortitude to love. People thought it was easy. He knew it was damn hard. Been there, done that, he reminded himself.
After Angela, he had decided never to marry. Love, marriage, trust were risks he’d been unwilling to take again. In a burst of internal honesty, he realized that wasn’t quite true anymore. His feelings for Angela, even the hurt and fury at her casual infidelity, were tepid imitations of the gut wrenching emotional fire bombs Haley had been setting off in him since they’d first met. They would go slow. Take it easy. Not play games. Haley, with her openness and her sincerity, would expect the same kind of sincerity from him. They were not just having an affair, although he was unwilling to label what they were having.
The ringing of the Haley’s cell phone on the desk in the hallway, interrupted his musings. Knowing that Haley was trying to meet her self-imposed deadline, he picked up her phone from the kitchen table and checked the ID, stiffening as he read Alexander Bishoff. Why did Haley have the overzealous reporter from the
Boise Sentinel
in her contacts list? Rand couldn’t stand him.
Without giving her privacy a second thought, he answered, “What do you want, Bishoff?”
“Hey, Mr. McNeil, I heard Haley was working for you...”
“You’ve got some nerve,” Rand broke in. “I told you when you called my office six months ago, I wouldn’t give you an interview. Calling Haley at my home about an interview is tantamount to harassment.”
“Whoa, man. Don’t throw the legal words around when there’s no need. I didn’t call about you. I need to talk to Haley. This is her phone number isn’t it?”
Rand was instantly suspicious. “Why do you want to talk to her?”
“I’d rather talk to Miss Marchand, if you don’t mind,” the other man answered coolly. “Is she available?”
“She’s here.” He stomped into the office and shoved the cell phone into Haley’s hand. “It’s for you,” he said and started to walk away.
Haley was so engrossed in her work she hardly looked up. “Thanks,” she murmured absently, then spoke into the phone. “This is Haley.”
Rand had every intention of leaving the room until he heard Haley say in tones of obvious pleasure, “Hey, Sandy. How’re you doing?”
Sandy!
She knew the reporter well enough to call him by a nickname? Ugly little tendrils of suspicion wound themselves into Rand’s head. Knowing it was wrong, he still leaned against the wall just outside the door to listen.
“No, I can’t marry you this week. I’m too busy. Call me next week.” Haley chuckled. “What’s up? You need a temp?”
Rand relaxed. Haley had probably worked for the man, and he needed someone again.
Haley laughed again. “I’ve been here about a week. Yes, I can talk. I get a five-minute break every twenty-four hours. What’s this all about?”
Rand knew that if Bishoff had called on his landline, he would have picked up another extension and listened. After he had broken his engagement to Angela and the plans for the merger were up in the air, Bishoff had contacted several of his friends and co-workers looking for a story. Luckily, everyone had refused to cooperate. He’d better not be trying to pry information out of Haley.
Just then Haley’s voice rose excitedly. “You’re kidding! No. No one else has tried. You’re the first person to contact me! I can’t believe the paper wants to do an article?” She paused, listened, then gasped. “I had no idea it was worth that kind of money. That’s exactly what I need for the down payment on my SBA loan.”
What SBA loan? She never mentioned a loan to him. Rand’s shoulder muscles tightened and his fists clenched. Haley couldn’t be agreeing to give Bishoff information about him. He wouldn’t believe it.
“No problem. I’m nearly through here.” She listened quietly for a few seconds, then chuckled. “No, he doesn’t keep me chained to the computer. I can arrange an interview this afternoon. I’ll spill my guts.” She laughed exuberantly. “Tell me again how much money.”
Money! She would betray him for money! His body rippled in shock. How could he have been so wrong about her? Suddenly he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Caught up in an icy numbness, he heard Haley make arrangements to meet the reporter at four that afternoon at the newspaper office.
He hated reporters and cheap tabloid write-ups. What would she tell them? He rubbed his hand over his face. God! She knew everything about the merger. They had made love in his swimming pool when they barely knew each other. She knew stuff about his family.
He walked to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink, furious that his hands were shaking. He gulped down the Jack Daniels and poured another, hoping to anesthetize himself.
Not again! Not again!
The litany chanted in his head. On a long shuddering breath, he shut his eyes and willed the pain under control, praying for a swift amputation of all tenderness toward her. After a few seconds, ice cold and nerveless, he walked back into the office, stood in the doorway and waited for Haley to turn around. Staring at her back, he felt the fury claw at his insides—thick and dark, like burned coffee.
Sensing his presence, Haley turned her head to look at him and then started to rise, her face glowing. The light died swiftly as she gazed at him, replaced by a look of startled concern.
Scheming gold digger! Bitch!
He would have given her anything, everything. Ten times what the damn interview would pay. He would have...he forced himself to stop thinking, and briefly closed his eyes, unable to look at her any longer.
“Rand? What is it?” Her voice was shaken, small.
The muscles in his face ached with the fierce effort not to shout. “I want you packed up and out of here in twenty minutes.” He sounded cool, controlled, and recognized a fleeting pride that nothing of what he was feeling was revealed.
She put a hand to her throat, a vulnerable gesture he found ridiculous. She was about as vulnerable as a Bengal tiger.
“Wh-what?”
His voice went harder, rougher with the strain of remaining in control. “You heard me. Leave the computer the way it is. Get your stuff out of my house, and get the hell out of my life.”
Instinctively, she hunched her shoulders and backed away from the rage glittering in his eyes. “Rand... why are you acting like this?” she whispered.
He laughed, the sound ugly in the quiet room. “How much are they paying you?”
She shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. “Who? How much is
who
paying me?”
He sneered. “I heard your little conversation with Bishoff. How many other newspapers have you volunteered to spill your guts to?”
She moved toward him, her hand touching his arm, as she pleaded. “Listen to me. It’s not what you think.” Her voice caught, and her hand trembled.
He brushed her hand from his arm in a savage gesture. “Cut the act! You’re not that great an actress anyway.” He laughed bitterly. “I should have known better. Hell, I did know better. You were just too anxious to get into my bed.” His eyes burned with contempt as his carefully controlled voice hardened. “You say one word about me or my family to that two-bit rag, and I’ll slap a lawsuit on you so fast, you won’t get to spend a dime of what you’ll get for, I believe the phrase was ‘spilling your guts.’”
His lip curled. “I was a fool to trust you. To trust any woman. It won’t happen again. And if you care about the company you work for, you’d better be damn careful what you tell that reporter, or I’ll sue them also.”
She stared at him for a long moment, her body still. Her hazel eyes blazed in a countenance blanched of all color. Suddenly a red flush of anger suffused her face as she straightened her shoulders and slapped his face hard with her open palm. The slap took him by surprise, and for a moment he felt a flicker of uncertainty.
Her eyes flashed with golden fury, as she hissed, “You’re a fool, and a jerk. You don’t understand the meaning of the word trust. Don’t come crawling to me when you discover what an imbecile you are.” With that she sailed past him, and in less than ten minutes she was out his door and out of his life.
Rand heard the front door close behind her. He had expected her to slam it, but she closed it quietly, too quietly. He stood exactly where she had left him, staring at the computer, her words ringing in his ears.
Don’t come crawling to me when you discover what an imbecile you are
.
Tears poured down Haley’s face, soaking her shirtfront the moment the taxi left Rand’s driveway. The female driver threw her several sympathetic glances in the rear view mirror.
“Honey, ain’t no man worth all that grief,” she offered.
But Haley was beyond consoling. In her mind she relived those last few minutes with Rand. Heard the pain beneath his harshness. Knew she could clear up the misunderstanding in a few minutes. Could call him and explain.
By the time the cab pulled up in front of her apartment, Haley’s eyes were so swollen she could hardly see. The taxi driver handed her a wad of tissues and helped her to the door of the apartment as if she were a lost child. “You just take a nap, girl, and things’ll look a lot better. Maybe you should call him,” she advised with a kindly pat on the arm.
As Haley trudged up the stairs to her apartment, she knew she wouldn’t call. Wouldn’t explain. She lay on her bed, feeling as fragile as thin crystal, wondering how to keep herself from shattering into a thousand pieces. Rand truly believed she was capable of betraying him. Didn’t trust her. Couldn’t trust her. Despite everything they had shared, he still didn’t trust her.
Pain settled in her midsection as she bleakly considered the future. Eventually Rand would discover the truth. He’d probably call to apologize. But Haley knew she couldn’t accept the apology. As if some loud alarm bell had gone off inside her, she wanted, needed the whole package—marriage, family, including a man to respect and love, who also loved and respected her and trusted her. Rand didn’t trust her, and without trust, they had nothing to build on, no foundation for a lasting relationship.
The excruciating pain arcing through her body eventually settled into a dull throbbing behind her eyelids. She was strong, smart. She’d get through this. Once. But never again. She would never put herself in this position again. The next man she loved would have to be willing to give her everything she needed, or she wouldn’t love again. She had offered Rand everything she had to give, and it hadn’t been enough. It’s a good thing their relationship ended before she really got her heart broken. Sobbing and shaking. She crawled into the middle of her bed and pulled the sheet over her head.