Temporary Monsters (3 page)

An image of Sheila asleep on the couch popped into his head; that moment when she was asleep on the couch, so pretty, so peaceful, as though that couch was where she belonged.

He looked up as the train pulled out of a station and realized his stop was next. Enough of stamps and Sheila. The morning rush hour seemed all too familiar. Once a commuter, always a commuter.

The train pulled into South Station and Lenny managed to extricate himself from the crowded car, following the moving throng toward the nearest escalator. He seemed to remember it being brighter down here. Shadows spread around the support columns. The sign for the donut stand in the corner barely flickered. The now departing train was the only source of light, its bright glow shrinking as it disappeared down the tunnel.

Lenny turned his head quickly. Was that a tall man in a raincoat stepping through the shadows? Lenny couldn't really see anything beyond the masses surging up the escalators and the stairs. Just his imagination. A lot of people wore raincoats. Why would someone follow him? Did they want something else from him? This couldn't have anything to do with Terrifitemps.

No one barred his way. No one even approached him. His feet found the first step of the escalator, and he rose toward the light of day. He stepped out onto the sunlit street, a world away from the murky depths of the subway. He had to forget about the theft, at least for the next few hours. He had a new job ahead of him.

“Lenny?”

He looked across the street. Sheila was waving at him. Maybe he should just wave back and keep on walking. The pedestrian walk light was on to the other side. His feet led him across without conscious thought.

Sheila's smile was more uncertain than before. “I'm sorry I stormed out on you like that. Somebody broke into your apartment. Why did I blame you?”

Lenny knew why. Odd things happened in his life. And, after that, really odd things followed. After a while, Sheila got annoyed. Twice. And, after a while more, she had left him. Also twice.

Sheila waved at the row of office buildings up the street. “I have an interview at Budwick, Budwick, Budwick and Klein. They're looking for a legal secretary.”

“Uh, I have something new I'm starting,” Lenny replied. “I don't know all that much about it yet.”

“Really?” Sheila was her old bubbly self again. “I'm glad we bumped into each other again. “Maybe visiting you this morning was the right thing to do. Maybe it will bring me luck.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I'll call you!”

Lenny stood and watched her walk away. Maybe Sheila was back in his life after all.

The bank clock on the corner told him it was 8:53. Maybe he had better get to work.

He moved quickly to the building that housed the temp agency, crossed the lobby, and jumped into a half-filled elevator that rose quickly to the fourteenth floor.

The doors opened. He was the only one getting off.

Lenny walked around the corner to the door he had used for his exit the day before. Two words had been painted on the frosted glass.
NO SOLICITORS.

Lenny tried the handle but the door was locked. He saw a small button by the side of the door, with an even smaller sign:
RING FOR ENTRY.
The door opened before Lenny could press the buzzer. The tall, sallow-skinned man from last Thursday stood on the other side.

“You are early.”

Lenny glanced down at his cell phone. “Two minutes?”

“Still early. Karnowski never lies!”

“Don't pay too much attention to old Karny,” a woman's voice called from somewhere deeper in the room. “He grows on you.”

Lenny stepped past Karnowski to see that a small group of people stood behind the tall man. One of them was Ms. Siggenbottom, the austere woman who hired him. To one side of her stood a very thin man wearing very thick glasses, while on her other side Lenny's gaze was drawn to a striking young woman, not just for her artfully applied makeup and her long red hair, but her totally tight, totally black costume—suit, blouse, stockings, and sensible heels. She looked like she was dressed in business gothic.

“These are all members of your team,” Ms. Siggenbottom began brusquely.

Team? Lenny almost said out loud.

“Karnowski he has met!” the tall man said with a deep breath of pride. “But he does not know my title. I am Karnowski the Ghost Finder!”

Ghost finder? Lenny swallowed those words as well.

The thin fellow stepped forward. He was wearing a heavy red sweater so bulky he seemed a bit like a turtle peaking out of his shell.

“You may call me Withers.”

Lenny felt like he should say something. “And I'll be working with all of you?”

“All of
them
,” Ms. Siggenbottom agreed. “And one more. There is a team member we can only meet after dark.”

The others nodded as if this was only to be understood.

“But I have neglected to introduce our final member,” the older woman continued. “The young woman is named Lenore.”

The young woman stepped forward, her well-penciled brow creasing with effort. Lenny found her strangely attractive—where his old girlfriend was bright and bubbly, this Lenore had an air of the mysterious about her.

Her voice was a low whisper. “Say nothing.”

Lenny swallowed his hello. Her pale-green eyes stared at his face with such intensity that Lenny felt she might see into his soul.

She spoke slowly, as if she had to search for every word. “You find me attractive—and dangerous.”

Lenny frowned. She certainly was good-looking. Dangerous? Well, maybe. With all the black eyeliner, her face looked rather fierce.

She smiled slightly as she saw his reaction.

“You find everything strange. You're not entirely sure of Terrifitemps. Ms. Siggenbottom is an enigma.”

Well, that was all true. Was she reading his mind? She was pretty good.

She took another step toward him, her dark-red lips turned with the slightest of smiles.

“And your name is—don't tell me—”

She paused for an instant before she announced: “Lance!”

Lenny shook his head.

“Leroy!”

Another shake.

“Sonny?” Her smile was wavering. She snapped her fingers. “I know!” She pointed straight at him.

“Hoppy!”

Hoppy? Maybe she wasn't quite as good as she thought.

“Lenny,” he interjected helpfully.

“The very next name I was going to say!” Lenore cried triumphantly. “No man is a mystery to me.”

“She wields an awesome power,” Karnowski agreed. “At least some of the time.”

Ms. Siggenbottom clapped her hands brusquely. “The introductions are over. We have more important matters to attend to!” She turned back to Lenny. “You will need some basic instruction.”

Instruction in what? was the next thing Lenny didn't say. With this group, he guessed a few days as a file clerk were out of the question.

“And we have not discussed salary.” She took a pen from the desk and wrote some numbers on the back of an envelope. “This should be your approximate take-home pay.”

Lenny looked at the numbers as she handed him the envelope.

“Monthly?” he asked.

“Weekly,” she replied.

The number was three times as much as Lenny had ever made, anywhere. For that much money, he would clean elephant cages.

Lenny nodded. “I'm in.”

“I knew you would be.” Ms. Siggenbottom clapped her hands again. “Now to work!”

Chapter Three

“So you're Lenny? Welcome to the team.”

Lenny turned to see the skinny guy with the glasses and oversized sweater holding a hand out in his direction.

“Thanks.” He took the other man's hand and shook it vigorously. He felt better already. Lenny hadn't realized how much he needed a smiling face.

“Everybody calls me Withers,” the other man replied. “Trust me. You don't want to know my first name.” He nodded at the dozen or so people milling about the room: “So what do you think of our little operation?”

Lenny tried to think of a polite way to express his feelings. “It's all a little overwhelming.”

Withers chuckled. “I know just how you feel. When I first came here, I thought I had walked into a madhouse.” He waved to the others Lenny had just met. “Everyone is quite committed to their jobs. They're all quite dependable, too. I'm sure you'll fit right in. It's just we all have—individual quirks.”

Lenny looked past Withers at the very dramatic young woman talking to the very tall pale man. They were certainly both individuals. There were others, though, especially three short fellows with heavy beards over by the filing cabinets, who Lenny thought he might have trouble telling apart.

“I've found it quite pleasant to work here,” Withers continued. “Even exciting. It is quite a learning experience.”

Lenny turned back to the other man. He almost jumped when he saw Ms. Siggenbottom standing directly in front of them. It seemed as though she had just appeared there without having to do anything as inconvenient as walk.

“Come now, Mr. Withers,” she said in her best disappointed-schoolteacher voice. “Your reports are due.”

Withers smiled at her. “Duty calls.” Withers waved to Lenny as he walked to his desk. “We can talk some more later.”

Ms. Siggenbottom turned her laser gaze back on Lenny.

He actually smiled at her, too. With everything that had happened this morning, he had been feeling overwhelmed since he had walked through the door. Having someone like Withers to talk to made him feel better already. Once he got to know the others, he was sure he would feel just fine.

“And you!” Her voice suggested Lenny had already done something wrong. “It is time for the video.”

Lenny felt the floor shift beneath his feet. Someone shouted. A jar full of pens crashed to the floor nearby.

“What was that?” Lenny asked in a voice just barely above a whisper.

Ms. Siggenbottom frowned. “Nothing that we have not dealt with before. You may be certain that the phenomenon does not extend beyond the inner office.”

She looked to the man with glasses. “Withers? Do we have a report?”

He hustled back to their side, a large sheaf of papers in his hands. “The elves report unusually negative subnautaturgical energy.”

Subnautaturgical? Lenny frowned. Elves? He guessed Withers was using some kind of company code for whatever had just happened.

The older woman nodded in satisfaction. “Exactly what we should expect. Continue with your earlier report, Mr. Withers.” She looked around the room. “We should all get back to business.”

She walked past Lenny and opened a door he hadn't seen before. He could feel the confusion taking over again. What else wasn't he seeing?

Lenny followed Ms. Siggenbottom into a room dominated by a very large TV. Actually, it was the cabinet housing the TV that was huge. The twenty-five-inch screen would have been state of the art thirty years ago. A half dozen plastic chairs were jammed into the remaining space.

“Sit,” Ms. Siggenbottom commanded. Lenny sat.

She leaned forward and twisted a knob. A bright light appeared at the center of the screen, and—after a minute or so—turned into a snow-filled TV picture. She opened a cabinet door to the right of the screen. Behind it, Lenny saw a storage compartment with three shelves. She pulled a black plastic video box from the bottom shelf, extracted a tape, and inserted it into a top-loading video player sitting on the next shelf above. A label on the side of the player said it was a Betamax.

“There we go,” she announced as she pressed a button on the player and turned to leave.

Well, at least they had some technology, Lenny thought as he waited for the show to begin. With everything he had seen around here, he was surprised they had a video player at all. But what had he expected? A slide show? Shadow puppets?

Lenny realized he was not alone. The chair next to him squeaked as it was dragged across the linoleum. The tall man smiled, showing far too many teeth, as he sat by Lenny's side.

“Karnowski cannot see enough of the video!”

“Come and find me if you have any questions,” Ms. Siggenbottom called out as she closed the door. The room grew dark as the screen filled with static.

Lenny jumped as the opening fanfare blasted from hidden speakers.

“Karnowski loves trumpets,” his fellow employee agreed.

The static faded as the company logo spread across the screen.

“Terrifitemps,” a deep, male voice announced. “Performing tomorrow's tasks today.”

The screen was filled with a row of smiling cartoon men and women. All wore black T-shirts with
TERRIFITEMPS!
emblazoned in white across their cartoon chests.

The smiling figures, seven—no, eight of them—spread across the screen, each highlighted by a bold yellow circle. Lenny's attention darted from one cartoon character to the next as they sprang into action. One donned a construction hat, another walked into a rocket ship, another appeared to be aiming a gun at a dinosaur.

“So you are new here!” the video voice cried jovially. “Welcome to Terrifitemps! Welcome to a world of possibilities!”

The eight circles spun about each other. The jaunty music once again rose in the background until one of the circles grew to fill the screen. This particular cartoon employee was silhouetted in front of a full moon.

“Congratulations, new employees. And welcome to your new career in”—another fanfare—“Mystical Sciences!

“In the next few days, you will embark on a bold new adventure as you combine our special training with those unique skills that led us to hire you. Before you know it, you'll become a Total Terrifitemp!”

Lenny started as someone shrieked in the other room. He turned to Karnowski.

“Is only Withers,” the tall man spoke quietly at his side. “Karnowski pays no attention.”

Withers? The only person who appeared normal in this place? Lenny was half out of his plastic chair before he was aware of moving. Shouldn't they do something?

But Karnowski did not seem bothered. Maybe people shrieked all the time around here. Maybe this was some of the excitement the thin man with glasses had been talking about.

Lenny turned back to the video.

“Let us take you through a typical day on your new job—or should I say typical night? What do you see?”

The TV screen filled with the image of a moonlit field. Bats flew over a round, yellow shape in the sky.

“Strange shadows, sinister shapes crossing the moon, odd noises in the night. Why should we care? Terrifitemps is there!”

A spotlight roved the landscape, stopping abruptly to illuminate a shrieking mass of eyes and claws and teeth. They were still cartoons, but they weren't cute.

“Terrifitemps will give you the knowledge to deal with”—the voice chuckled—“well, just about anything!”

As the narrator spoke, the eyes, claws, and teeth were snared in a glowing net. “You'll also be trained to use our special equipment—”

Another shriek, louder this time, came from the other side of the wall.

“Withers?” Lenny asked.

Karnowski glanced back at the outer office. “Has trouble with full moon. Video explains everything.”

“With your training, beasties beware!” the video voice continued. “Ghoulies will be gone. And absolutely nothing will go bump in the night!”

More trumpets.

“Terrifitemps. Keeping the world safe for everybody else! Let's begin your training!”

A chalkboard appeared on the screen.
THE FIRST LESSON
was written on the board by an invisible hand.

“And now,” the voice continued. “Lesson one, the most important lesson of all. Pay close attention. Your life may depend on it!”

Out in the main office, the banging and shrieking began again, so loud now that it almost drowned out the next fanfare. To Lenny, it sounded like a bad action movie was filming right next door.

The tall man frowned. “For this, even Karnowski must pause video.” He jumped up and hit a button on the VCR, then crossed to the door. For a large man, he was very quick. Lenny was right behind him.

The office next door was in chaos. Everyone was moving in every possible direction. Papers were flying through the air. Every rotary phone was ringing nonstop. And above all that racket, someone was squealing.

Someone, or something.

“Oh my god! What is that?” The words escaped his lips almost before he thought them. Lenny found himself staring at the world's largest rat, or squirrel, or something. It was definitely a gray-furred rodent that was definitely six feet tall. It darted back and forth, now on top of a desk, now under another, as people tried to grab it with nets and hooks and hands.

“Is Withers,” Karnowski said. “But change does not happen until nightfall!”

“Usually,” Lenore replied as she stepped past Lenny. “Unless other forces come into play.”

Karnowski looked horrified. “Do you mean?”

“I'm afraid so.”

Everybody in the office (except the giant rodent) nodded as one.

Lenore excused herself and moved into the crowd as Withers jumped into a corner. He seemed to have calmed a bit. His pink nose twitched furiously as he carefully watched everyone around him.

Employees stepped out of the way as Ms. Siggenbottom strode across the room. She was headed straight for Lenny. “It is very fortunate you came today. We need all of your skills for what will come.”

Lenore emerged from the crowd. “I've got the gun.”

Lenny heard a muffled bang. A red-feathered dart stuck out of Wither's hindquarters. The crowd hastily retreated as the giant rodent crashed to the floor. The very large mousey thing began to snore.

Lenny took a cautious step forward to get a closer look at the now sleeping beast. “This is Withers?”

Lenore nodded with a frown. “He's a werevole.”

“His skills are somewhat more limited than yours,” Ms. Siggenbottom added.

“And what skills are those?” Lenny asked, not sure that he wanted to know.

“He has great tunneling ability, for one,” Ms. Siggenbottom replied.

“And?” Lenny broke through the silence that followed.

“Generally,” Lenore added, “the moment people see him, they scream ‘Oh my god! What is that?'”

“It provides us the opportunity to do whatever is necessary,” Ms. Siggenbottom continued. “A bit limited perhaps, but very useful.”

Lenny still didn't get it. “So he always runs around and screams like that?”

Ms. Siggenbottom sniffed, as if that was the most foolish question she had ever heard. “Certainly not. He has far more control when his transformation is more—normal.”

Lenny watched as a couple of men propped the giant rodent onto a hand cart and wheeled him from the room. What was normal about a werevole?

“This was somewhat more dramatic than our last incident.” Ms. Siggenbottom's frown deepened more than usual. “But we have dealt with problems like this before. In am afraid your training will need to be accelerated.”

“Do I finish watching the video?” Lenny took a step back toward the viewing room.

“No time,” she replied. “From here out, you are learning everything on the job.”

“We'll all pitch in,” Lenore agreed, waving her gun. “Worst-case scenario, we blow things up.”

“Great teachers!” Karnowski agreed, pounding on his chest. “With luck, you learn great deal before you are killed!”

Ms. Siggenbottom glanced at her jewel-encrusted wristwatch. “Situation meeting in twenty minutes! Move people, or we will meet a fate like Withers!”