Authors: Kate Laurens
Placing one long finger beneath my chin, he tilted my face up so that I had no choice but to look him directly in the eye. My heart beat a little faster at the touch.
“Kayla, that kind of reaction is the entire point.”
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry as sexual tension sucked all of the moisture from the air. I gestured to the photo with the sandwich, trying to shove away the twinges of jealousy.
“Is this one new?” It hung in place of the photo I’d originally loved so much, but the subject wasn’t the same as in that one, nor was it Jax.
Jax smirked a bit at me, but instead of being infuriating it was sexy as hell.
“Jealous?”
Narrowing my eyes, I lifted the sandwich to my mouth and took a bite. The flavors of creamy cheese, smoked turkey, and some kind of spiced jam filled my mouth. It had been so long since I’d eaten, and I was so hungry, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my lips.
“God, that’s good. Thank you.” Swallowing, I licked my lips. Once my food orgasm had passed, I realized that Jax was silent, his stare riveted on my mouth.
He stood stiffly, and a quick flicker of my stare downwards told me why. My cheeks flushed as I tore my gaze away from his obvious interest.
I had no idea what to do, what to say.
“It’s still there, isn’t it?” Jax reached out to brush just the tip of a finger over the lock of my hair that had fallen from my ponytail. I trembled at the light touch, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
“What about Nick?” My voice sounded thick, like it belonged to someone else. Given Nick’s reaction to my accusation, I was pretty sure that the two men weren’t even talking let alone together, but I needed to hear it from Jax’s lips.
A shadow crossed his face, and he shook his head.
“Nick and I haven’t spoken since you guys were here last summer.” Translation: they hadn’t spoken since Nick had freaked out over asking his best friend to sleep with both himself and his girlfriend, even though nothing more than a kiss had ever happened.
“Nick and I aren’t on real good terms, either.” I grimaced, my clenching fist squeezing the sandwich in my hand to an unappealing mess. “And it’s all my fault.”
“No.” Jax spoke with enough force that I looked up at him, startled. His features were tense, but after a long moment he seemed to force them to relax, smiling wryly.
“It’s not at all your fault. Nick and I were clearly meant to have a showdown. You just got swept along for the ride.” He gestured to the couch, giving me a friendly nudge with his shoulder to get me moving. “Now sit down and eat that sandwich. Then we can talk about whatever is going on with you.”
Relief flooded me, to have bought even a few more minutes. I did as I was told, curling into the same corner of the couch in which I’d sat on my last visit.
“Eat.” I did, nibbling at the smushed up sandwich. As I chewed I began to shiver—Jax was right, I was dressed for winter in central California, not Oregon.
“Here.” Jax retrieved the massive hoodie that I’d set down when we entered the apartment. Spreading it over my lap, he tucked it in around my hips.
“Oh.” I couldn’t help the soft cry from escaping my lips when his fingers brushed over my hipbones. Startled, I stared at him, wide-eyed. His expression in return was measured, and a twinge of disappointment worked its way through me when Jax sat in a chair across the room, rather than beside me on the couch.
He was silent, but I could feel his scrutiny as I tried to force down the sandwich that my stomach wanted but my brain sure didn’t.
“I’m sorry. You’re being so nice, feeding me after I just show up. But I just can’t get this down.” I gestured helplessly, placing the wadded up sandwich back on the paper towel.
“It’s okay. Can I get you anything else?” He snagged the sandwich from my fingers, tossing it into a waste basket.
I shook my head. I felt like an idiot, and I was pretty sure that I looked like a bum. I needed fresh clothes. I needed a shower.
I needed to sleep. The effects of the instant coffee were wearing off, and the warmth of the hoodie on my lap making me sleepy.
I struggled to stay awake—how rude was I, dropping in unannounced, then falling asleep on his couch?
I lost the battle. Curled up on the couch in Jax’s apartment, warm, safe and fed, I drifted.
I fell asleep with a sigh on my lips and the sexy, familiar scent of the man I wanted in my nose.
A
soft clicking sound woke me from my sleep. Drowsily, I opened my eyes, shifted in the seat, stretched slightly.
There was no moment of panic or disorientation. I knew exactly where I was.
The uncertainly came when I turned and found Jax, kneeling in the middle of the room, fancy camera pointed directly at me.
“Sorry.” Smiling sheepishly when he saw that I was awake, Jax lowered the camera. “I won’t show them to anyone but you, if you don’t want.”
“It’s okay.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted, other than him. My hormones must have had a nice nap, because all they could think was that it would be so easy to lean over and kiss him.
If I didn’t currently have dragon breath, that is.
His next words blew me away.
“You just looked so beautiful, with the afternoon light catching on your hair. Like an angel. I had to capture it.”
Blinking, I sat up straight, sure that he was joking, but his expression was dead serious. I was pretty sure that I wasn’t imagining the interest in his eyes, either.
My pulse picked up its pace, pounding in the veins in my wrists, at the base of my throat.
What is wrong with you
? My mind was screaming at me. I was flat broke, I was on the way to go visit my estranged family, the former love of life wanted me back and wanted to throttle me at the same time, and I had the hots for a gay man.
I sucked in a breath as Jax shifted a bit closer to me. Nerves—the good kind—skittered along my skin.
Not just the hots. I couldn’t say that it was love—I wasn’t sure about that. But I knew that whatever it was I felt for Jax Kennedy, it was more than just physical attraction.
I stood abruptly, breaking off any possibility for a kiss. My mouth tasted like something had died in it, and I desperately needed a shower and some clean clothes.
“Why don’t we go to the diner and grab some dinner?” Jax finally suggested, standing and stretching. The movement threw the muscles of his biceps into sharp relief, and I found myself suddenly wide awake.
Then I realized what he’d just said, and embarrassment washed over me.
“I can’t.” I cringed internally. “I’m sorry.”
“Why can’t you?” Jax’s brown furrowed. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled. “Kayla?”
“I’m a little short on accessible cash right now.” I felt my cheeks flame crimson. Fuck, but this was embarrassing.
“I think we know each other well enough that you can let me buy you dinner.” Jax tilted his head, those magnetic eyes still fixed on me, and I squirmed. I also noted that he didn’t press me on
why
I was short on cash... nor did he call me a dumbass for driving all the way to Oregon in that condition.
Points for him.
“Why would that embarrass you?”
Frowning down at my fingers, I tried to come up with something funny and witty to reply that would deflect the issue. But when I stole a peek up at him through my eyelashes, I saw that his face was set in stern lines.
He might not push as much as I’d expected, but when he did ask a question, he expected an answer.
That answer felt like it was going to choke me, and it took several minutes for me to spit it out.
“I told you how I grew up.” To save myself from chewing on my fingernails with nerves, a habit I’d picked up after Nick and I had split up and that I had only just broken, I slid my fingers between my thighs and the cushions of the couch.
“One of seven... well, now eight, kids. All different dads, and none of them were prime specimens. My mom is a hairdresser. She doesn’t make much. We had next to nothing.” Just saying the words made the sound of rain thundering on the cheap tin shingles of our double wide echo through my ears.
I hated the rain, and it had poured a good chunk of the time in the bayou. The part of Louisiana in which we lived would turn to a river of mud, which made it impossible to go anywhere.
Impossible to run.
“I hate being poor.” I sure as hell wasn’t going to dump my darkest secret in Jax’s lap, not after I’d just shown up out of the blue, so I pushed the memories down, just like I always did.
And I needed to call my credit card company, the sooner, the better. Unless and until TJ returned my cash, I needed my credit limit upped. I had a good rating—to separate myself from my mother and my past I’d made sure to never miss a payment—but I’d beg if I had to.
Jax startled me by crossing the small living room and catching my chin in his hand.
“We’re friends, Kayla.” His fingers caressed my chin, just a friendly gesture, but one that set my skin ablaze. Oh God, all I had to do was lean forward, just the tiniest bit, and I could brush my face over the muscle of that rock solid thigh.
“
Kayla
.” I could hear the warning note in Jax’s voice. He wasn’t going to let me beat myself up, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Trying to settle the desire that was threatening to drive me insane, I swallowed down the embarrassment over my lack of ready cash. Placing my palms flat on my thighs so that my hormones didn’t get the best of me, I smiled.
“Well, since we’re friends...” I stood up, then realized that I’d miscalculated the distance between Jax and myself. Standing brought me almost flush against him, close enough that my body absorbed the heat radiating from his body.
I swallowed hard, then dared to look up. If there had been straight heat in his eyes I would have been done for. The desire was there, all right, but it was tempered with a smirk.
Damn it
. Jax knew full well the effect he was having on me, and clearly he was enjoying it.
Well, two could play at that game.
“Since we’re friends...” he prompted, lacing his hands behind his head. It made his biceps flex in a way that should have been illegal.
Stifling the urge to lean forward and slide my tongue over one, I instead curled my lips up into what I hoped was a seductive smile. Placing my hands on his chest, ostensibly for balance, I rose up onto my toes and whispered in his ear... well, as close as I could get to his ear, because he was so damn tall.
“Since we’re friends... can I borrow your shower first?” I knew he’d felt the whisper of my breath on his lobe when his pulse danced beneath my fingertips. Satisfied and feeling smug, I rocked back on my heels and grinned up at him.
In my angst, I’d forgotten that he was fun to be around. Actually, I hadn’t had much fun at all since I’d left Fish Lake last summer.
Jax smiled back, and the sense of smugness vanished as I suddenly felt very much like an innocent little rabbit face with the big bad wolf.
“You could,” he agreed thoughtfully. We were still standing only a whisper apart, but I was pretty sure that we were both too stubborn to move.
“But?”
“But there’s currently no door.” He grinned when I gaped at him. “The wood was swollen from moisture, so I took it off to sand it down and repaint it. I haven’t had a chance to put it back up yet.”
I squirmed, the idea of showering while Jax wandered his apartment making my nerves sizzle.
And from the look on his face, he damn well knew it.
With the smell of his simple soap tickling the insides of my nose, I felt too gross not to consider it. But there was that small matter of the missing door.
“I won’t look,” he told me, blue eyes twinkling. He was enjoying this way too much. “Scout’s honor.”
“Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that you were a boy scout.” I was the one who finally cried uncle, stepping back until the backs of my thighs brushed the couch.
My body couldn’t handle being so close to him and not touching what it so badly wanted. I needed space.
“I... um... I need to run down to my car and get some things.” Frazzled by his proximity, I snapped the ribbon of space that separated us and all but ran for the front door, my heart pounding so wildly that I could hear the blood fizzing through my veins. As I moved, I caught just the quickest glimpse of Jax’s face, and what I saw there was nearly my undoing.
There was confusion. Well, at least I wasn’t alone in that. There was enough lust to make my heart pound even harder still.
And there was something else, a glimmer of ruthlessness that I hadn’t yet seen in Jax.
It told me that this time, I wasn’t going to get away.
“Sweet Jesus.” At my car, I took a moment to press my overheated cheek to the slick glass window. The cool surface helped cool me down, but only the slightest bit.
Being around Jax didn’t make me actually want to stop the fire raging inside of me. No, he made me want to add fuel to the flames, making them rise higher than ever.
Then I thought of Nick and blanched.
Why,
why
couldn’t my life just be simple?
Grabbing the torn cardboard box that Kevin had unceremoniously shoved my toiletries into, I slammed the vehicle door shut behind me and headed back upstairs to Jax’s apartment. I didn’t bother to lock my car, because Fish Lake had a nonexistent crime rate... and also because my car had the ancient styled “dummy” locks, and I didn’t have a free hand.
“That was quick.” Jax called out, and I followed the sound of the voice. Oh, heaven help me, he was
in
the door-less bathroom. He beckoned me in, and after hesitating for a quick moment, I did as he asked, squeezing in beside him.
The room was none too big, and he was so large that he took up twice the amount of space as an average sized man would have. This meant that I could feel his heat, smell his scent and be driven crazy with lust.
I thought that maybe I needed to have my hormone levels checked.
“Here’s a towel.” He handed me a soft piece of terrycloth, and I resisted the urge to bury my nose in it. But damn it, it smelled
good
. Actually, his whole apartment smelled far better than I would have thought a bachelor’s place should.