Temptation (23 page)

When I feel Viktor casually put his arm across my chair, I instantly tense. He’s not touching me but I know it’s there. I can feel the heat coming off him. Why did he do that? He’s never done anything like this before while at my parents. Dad doesn’t even seem to notice, but mom certainly does. She grins widely at me and it’s as if she’s saying, “I told you so.” I don’t like it. Who am I kidding? I like it way too much. But when the overwhelming feelings of my nerves get the best of me, I jump up and start clearing the table. I grab Gabbie’s empty plate first then mom’s. I take them to the sink in the kitchen and go back for the rest. No one pays me any mind, expect Viktor. I can feel him watching me and I wish he’d stop. He’s making it impossible to keep resisting him. I feel my heart kick up a notch and I hope no one else can hear it, or see how my face is flushed. It’s those damn green eyes that get me every single time. I leave Viktor’s dishes last, because let’s be honest here, I really don’t want to be any closer to him than I have to be right now. I’m tempted to touch him, or kiss him right in front of everyone.

I sigh when I lean down to grab his plate, and I can’t stop myself from stealing a glance. His dark, intense green eyes are staring right at me. That look makes me take in a breath, and makes me a bit dizzy. He reaches over and touches my hand when I try and take his plate away and I feel like he zapped me with some sort of electrical current. It was the strangest thing I’ve ever felt and I relish in it. I quickly look away and take my hand away from him. I feel his stare on my back as I all but run to the kitchen. I drop the dishes into the sink, and I turn right back around and go straight to the bathroom.

I shut the door behind me and I put my hands on the counter. I’ve no idea why I’m freaking out so much about Viktor touching me. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t done that in a long time, and I’m shocked at how much his touch affected me, and still affects me after a year. At how much I want him to do that again. I turn on the water, and splash the cold water on my face. I look at myself in the mirror, still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. My whole body feels like it’s on fire just from that one simple touch. What would it be like if he touched me in other places? I close my eyes picturing Viktor’s hands running up and down my body. I don’t try to fight the sudden wave of pleasure as I think of him. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about any of this, but I cannot help myself.

I abruptly open my eyes and move away from the sink when I hear the door close. Viktor stands by the door and I swear I feel him touching me with how he gazes at me. I slowly move to the wall, needing support. I shouldn’t be so affected by him. The air in the small bathroom changes and becomes thicker than before. And when he starts making his way towards me, I lick my lips and try to catch my breath. Is he going to touch me again? Kiss me? I want him to, so much so my stomach clenches at the thought.

“Vik? What are you doing?” I say breathlessly. How does he do this to me?

He says nothing as he slowly makes his way to me. It seems unfair he can see how much he affects me, but he doesn’t seem a bit phased by me. I can’t help myself from staring at his gorgeous mouth, or the feelings of wanting him to kiss me again. A year is a long time since he kissed me last. But he doesn’t lean in or even seem to want to kiss me. He does raise his hand up and uses two fingers to touch my lips. He drags his fingers gently, making my bottom lip move downwards. He does this slowly, as though he wants to kiss me, but is holding back. Green eyes meet mine and desire washes over me. I’ve never in my life wanted something like this before. I want him to kiss me again, but I can’t seem to tell him that. Words have seemed to have evaporated from my mind.

“Vy ponyatiya ne imeyete, skol'ko ya khochu, chtoby vy,”
he says and even though I have no clue what he’s saying, I want to think he’s telling me something important. But, I also know, he doesn’t want me to know just yet. Otherwise, he would’ve told me in English.

I startle when I hear banging on the door. And just like that, our spell is broken. I hear Gabbie on the other side, and she doesn’t sound very happy. Viktor grins, and places my hair behind my ear. He opens the door and Gabbie has her hands on her hips.

“Icky, wat you doing?” I smile at her sassiness, but I can’t seem to find my voice yet. It’s as though I’m glued to the wall, unable to do anything but stare at them. Viktor laughs and says something in Russian as he picks up Gabbie. He walks away with her without a second glance at me.

I sit on the love seat across from Viktor and Gabbie. I have a book in my hands, but
it’s only there to mask my jumble of thoughts. I’ve read the same paragraph over about four times now. I can’t seem to concentrate watching Viktor and Gabbie together. He’s laid out on the couch and Gabbie’s on her stomach laying on his chest. I could watch them together all night. I love seeing how great Viktor is with my baby girl and how much she adores him. It also makes my feelings for him grow more than ever before. The Little Mermaid plays softly on the TV, and I know Gabbie will be asleep soon. For the past ten minutes, her eyes open, then close. She’s fighting sleep. I still can’t believe she’s still up this late. Viktor starts to rub her back and I see her rub her eyes, and she turns her head. Viktor smiles while looking at her, and I shake my head. One touch from him and Gabbie’s out for the night.

I close my book and I get up to put it back on the bookshelf. The one and only time I left a book out, Gabbie colored all over it. Since then, I’ve learned to keep anything I don’t want destroyed out of her reach. I turn around and walk over to Viktor and my little sleeping beauty. Viktor watches me as I come closer, and I try to act like I’m perfectly normal. But, I’m not. I’m still reeling over what happened at my parents earlier today.

“Do you want me to put her to bed?” I quietly ask Viktor.

He nods, and I slowly pick Gabbie up, being super careful not to wake her. She whimpers a bit, and puts her little arms around my neck. I kiss her on the forehead, and start to walk away. Viktor touches my hip with his hand, and I stop. I close my eyes, loving the feel of his hand on my body. I slowly turn while I take a deep breath.

“Ava,” he starts to say something, but I shake my head and walk away. Whatever it is he wants to say or talk about can wait. Preferably when I’m not so close to the edge, so ready to give into him.

I get halfway up the stairs when I hear the front door close. A part of me is glad he chose to leave, but the other part of me, wishes he would’ve stayed. This is why I’m so afraid to be with him. He’s always shutting me out, then leaving. How can I trust he won’t do that same if I were to give him a chance? And as I lay Gabbie down on her bed, I think maybe mom’s right about one thing.

I shouldn’t compare Viktor to Malcolm.

I know the only way I’ll get any answers is to actually have a conversation with him. Just thinking of that makes my heart start to race.

I cover Gabbie up and move her hair out of her face. I kiss her on her forehead one last time. I turn off her lamp, and crack her door. I walk downstairs again and turn off all the lights and lock the front door. Its nights like this that I hate. It’s so quiet, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t lonely. Because it is. I’ve no one to blame but myself. Maybe if I hadn’t pushed Viktor away so many times, he would’ve stayed. Maybe if I had tried harder with Malcolm, he wouldn’t have left. So many maybes. I normally do fine by myself after Gabbie goes to bed. But tonight’s different. I blame mom and Sebastian for that. If they hadn’t said anything about Viktor then I would be fine. But since I know now, it’s all I can think about.

I really would rather think of something else. I don’t know when I became so stubborn, but now that I am, it’s hard for me to let some things sink in. I just don’t see what they see. Maybe I just want something that isn’t there. I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts. I go to my room and I change into my night shirt. I crawl into bed, and as I start to fall asleep, dark green eyes take over my mind.

I groan at the alarm clock when I see how early it is. I blame Viktor. He always in my dreams, and I can’t seem to sleep without thinking of him anymore. I toss the covers off and change into a tank top, shorts, and put on a pair of socks. I put my hair into a messy bun and I do my morning routine, and before I go downstairs I check in on Gabbie. She of course, is sleeping like the dead. I don’t know what she does in her sleep, but it always amuses me how she ends up on the other end of the bed every single time. With her little butt in the air. I crack her door, and I decide to make breakfast. I know Gabbie won’t be up for another few hours, and I need to do something to keep my mind busy.

I grab my iPod out of my bag by the door and I turn on my favorite play list. I put the ear buds in and I stick the iPod in my tank top between my boobs. It’s the perfect place for it. I busy myself getting everything I need to make pancakes. Gabbie loves them. I sing along with the music as I stir the pancake mix in a bowl. I slide on the floor with my socks, and I dance to my list of songs. I’m in my own little world letting the music take over. I pour some of the mix into a pan and I grab a spatula out of the drawer. I swing my hips to shut it and I continue to dance along to the upbeat pop music as I flip the pancake.

I take the pan off the stove, and I shake it to loosen up the pancake. As I’m about to flip the almost done pancake in the pan, I happen to look over to my right. Seeing Viktor leaning against the counter watching me, scares the shit out of me. I scream, and because I’m wearing socks, I slip and fall. I land on my ass, and I fall on my back. The pan crashes on the floor, but the best thing about this whole scenario is, the fucking pancake lands on my face. It all happened so fast, that I don’t even have a chance to move out of the way.

My music continues to play in my ears as I flail around on the ground as the pancake is hot and burning my skin. I’m beyond humiliated. Not only did Viktor see me shaking my ass while cooking, he watched as I made an even bigger fool of myself when I fell. I’m scrambling to get pancake batter on my face and my hair. I flick the burning batter off my fingers before trying to scrape more off my face. Viktor stands over me, concern in his eyes. He grins as I huff out a breath, thankfully I wasn’t hurt. I roll my eyes at him. My ass hurts and he thinks it’s funny. I pull out my ear buds, and Viktor reaches his hand out to help me up. I reluctantly take his hand, and he pulls me up. I screamed so loud it was enough to wake the dead and I’m waiting to hear Gabbie crying.

“Are you alright?” he asks, with a grin still on his face.

“Ha ha, laugh it up. You could’ve let me know you were here,” I snap back at him. Why is he here anyways? He’s starting to annoy me how he randomly shows up anytime he wants. I let out a breath when I don’t hear Gabbie crying upstairs.

He reaches over and turns off the stove. When he turns back to me, his eyes are staring at my boobs. “I don’t think you would’ve heard me either way.” He reaches into my tank top and pulls out my iPod. “That’s a handy place to put it.” Viktor lays my iPod down on the counter. He finally takes his eyes off my breasts.

My face flushes and I take a step away from him. I shouldn’t like how he’s looking at me. With lust and like he’s hungry. I don’t think it’s food he’s hungry for. I shouldn’t want him to look at me that way. I clear my throat as I say, “What are you doing here so early? I didn’t think you’d be back for a while.”

“I wanted to surprise you and Gabbie with breakfast, but you beat me to it.” He chuckles and says, “And, you and I need to talk about … things.” Somehow, I don’t think he wanted to say things. Shit, what if he wants to talk about us? As in the things going on with us? Just the thought of that makes my heart race. Does he really want to talk about us? Am I jumping to conclusions? I really hope not.

“Wha … what things?” I hate I have to clear my throat to ask him anything. I should be stronger than this.

Viktor comes closer to me and I continue to walk backwards, He has me cornered against the wall. He places one of his hands on the wall by my head, and the other, he places on my lower back. He pulls me to him and I put my hands on his chest. Even if I know I want his touch, at least I can keep some sort of distance from him. I have to if I’m going to be able to think properly. But I lick my lips, thinking finally, he’s touching me again. I’ve craved his touch for over a year and suddenly, I can’t remember why I resisted him for so long.